(no subject)
My parents have left for Florida. They left early this morning leaving me the whole day alone... I cried a lot which is different from the last couple of times. I think I even made Martin want to cry! I just looked at him when he was in the cab and he just goes "Don't look like that" and gives a weak little grin. I wasn't even looking weepy, or so I thought.
I'm a total mess but luckily, as this time is different from all the others it seems, I've been eating. I've been eating non-stop. I had an early lunch, followed by lots of snacks, a big dinner...and more snacks. Now I've sort of run out of things to do. I've watched a lot of tv, A lot of anime. I read some stuff. I cleaned my room...I played with the dog. I still have dishes I could do... I still have yard work but it's raining outside. It sort of matches my gloomy weepy mood.
At leat tomorrow I've got a couple of things that I have to do. I've got to get a battery for Lucille. Canadian tire didn't have one dainty enough for her. And then I've got a second interview with Chapters at 5:30 or 5. I'm not sure which haha ^_^;; I'll have to call in. I was in the middle of three phone calls when they called and I didn't write down the time right away. I know it's 5 something. I'll just call tomorrow to confirm.
I could pick up the phone and call someone. mmm...maybe I'll call daddy. or my bro. oo...it's monday though there. hmm...
it's not even that I miss talking to my parents, it's more I miss the presence of people in the house. I just miss the faint hum of activity, the feeling that I'm not alone even though I'm in my room essentially alone. it just hits me, that I am alone, and that's hard for me. I don't like that. I think that when I actually have to be alone, I'll run up such an electric bill. I'll have tvs, radios, cds, computers on all at once just so I don't feel alone. I'm trying not to do that though. but it's hard.
I'm feeling antisocial and lonely at the same time. I just want to have someone in the house, I don't want to really talk to them...just...to hear them walk around or doing things is really enough for me. but if I invite a friend over...I'll feel like I'll have to entertain them. I don't want to entertain...
this sucks.
I'm a total mess but luckily, as this time is different from all the others it seems, I've been eating. I've been eating non-stop. I had an early lunch, followed by lots of snacks, a big dinner...and more snacks. Now I've sort of run out of things to do. I've watched a lot of tv, A lot of anime. I read some stuff. I cleaned my room...I played with the dog. I still have dishes I could do... I still have yard work but it's raining outside. It sort of matches my gloomy weepy mood.
At leat tomorrow I've got a couple of things that I have to do. I've got to get a battery for Lucille. Canadian tire didn't have one dainty enough for her. And then I've got a second interview with Chapters at 5:30 or 5. I'm not sure which haha ^_^;; I'll have to call in. I was in the middle of three phone calls when they called and I didn't write down the time right away. I know it's 5 something. I'll just call tomorrow to confirm.
I could pick up the phone and call someone. mmm...maybe I'll call daddy. or my bro. oo...it's monday though there. hmm...
it's not even that I miss talking to my parents, it's more I miss the presence of people in the house. I just miss the faint hum of activity, the feeling that I'm not alone even though I'm in my room essentially alone. it just hits me, that I am alone, and that's hard for me. I don't like that. I think that when I actually have to be alone, I'll run up such an electric bill. I'll have tvs, radios, cds, computers on all at once just so I don't feel alone. I'm trying not to do that though. but it's hard.
I'm feeling antisocial and lonely at the same time. I just want to have someone in the house, I don't want to really talk to them...just...to hear them walk around or doing things is really enough for me. but if I invite a friend over...I'll feel like I'll have to entertain them. I don't want to entertain...
this sucks.