(no subject)
im so upset right now...
i just dont understand any of this...
why... god... ive had to see you holding his hand... handing on him... you talk about missing that other guy so much... jesus... everything he says involves talking like a nigger... everything his friends say to him is about pot and drinking and other nonsense... how do you converse with people like that...? much less tell them you miss them...? when did you start doing that...? why...? i know that i reacted to this is a bad way... but how else could i possibly react...? how could you bottle up all your feelings for me...? but say things like that to such undeserving and dirty people...? how...? i feel like i dont even know you... why couldnt you be open with me...? why cant or couldnt you just tell me how you felt...? i have to see this hurtful confusing shit that devastates me inside... and never know whats real or not...
i hurt so bad right now... and i only want t confide in you... but i cant... i feel so alone... i dont know what to do... im so upset and theres nowhere i can go... nothing i can do... i need you so bad... i need you to take these thoughts and fears away... please...