To the people that tell me to smile.
Please stop. It is one of the last things that will get me to smile. In fact, my first reaction when I am told to smile is to give you the nastiest look I could possibly give.
I know that most who tell me to smile want to know what could possibly be so bad about my life that I am not smiling. However, you are making a huge mistake in assuming I am unhappy because I am not smiling. Just because I am not sporting that " Look at me, I am Barbie" smile all the time, doesn't mean I am unhappy. There could be a number of reasons I am not smiling. If I am walking down the street on a day when it's over 100 degrees outside, sunlight in my face...I am more likely to be squinting than smiling... why? Because it's hot and uncomfortable. Perhaps I am not smiling because I am trying to get to where I am going, and I am focused. Or it could simply be that I am resting my face. Anyone who works in customer service knows how much it hurts to smile all day long. And if my resting bitch face offends you, tough shit. I am not going to smile just because you think I should, or because you are offended that I am not smiling. That's your problem, not mine.
Seriously, if my lack of a smile bothers you that much, here is a solution. Why don't you give me a reason to smile instead of telling me to smile. Tell me a joke, that always works. I can't resist a good joke and that will get me smiling. Don't just tell me to smile, because I don't like to smile for no reason. I don't like to do things just because someone says I should do it. I will smile because I feel like smiling, I will smile because I find something that gives me a reason to smile, or I will smile because something was said that either gave me a reason to smile or laugh.
Now this brings me to why it is so important to you, a complete stranger, that I choose to smile? Why is that any of your business? You are more than likely never going to see me again, so why does it matter? This is right up there with the " Why are you wearing that?" or " Where you going?" , two things I also seem to get from strangers at bus stops. These strangers I am never going to see again, and I don't feel it is worth wasting my energy trying to explain myself. I don't need to explain myself to people I do not know, and I most certainly don't have to smile for those people either, especially if I am not in a customer service position, or a political position. If I am just being an average Jane, I don't owe any stranger a smile or an explanation.
This also brings up that fact that to you, dear stranger, I am also a complete stranger and what I do doesn't really matter to you. What I am doing is not going to affect what you are doing, so why do you care? It's sad that I have a hard time getting the people I see on a regular basis to care what I am doing, but a person I am never going to see again cares what I am doing and has no real reason know what I am doing accept to be nosy. I have come to find that in our society, after reading blogs and watching videos, that it's usually women that are told to smile. So this makes wonder? Out of all the people you told to smile today, how many of them were women, and how many of them were men? What I've noticed that when I'm told to smile, it's usually never another woman telling me to smile, unless she happens to be taking a picture of me. I don't think I have ever had a woman tell me to smile outside of photography or a profession. It's usually always a man. Why is that?
I don't think my being woman should dictate what my facial expression should be. Is it that you think my smile makes me more attractive? Or that it makes me more likeable, and for some sick and twisted reason, women are supposed to be that way? Really, it is absurd that it's an expectation. For one, I have seen myself smile, and I can tell you smiling does not make me more attractive. I have snaggle tooth, and I look quite ridiculous, so smiling is awkward for me. Am I happy? Yes, I am. But sometimes I opt out of smiling because I hate my snaggle tooth. So no, I do not look better with a smile. As far as making me look like a kinder person, what does that matter? I mean, really, it doesn't matter how I look. My appearance does not determine whether I am nice or not. I have met my fair share of people who are attractive on the outside, but in reality are complete assholes. I have seen people who don't fit society's standards of beauty be the sweetest people I have ever met. And I say society's standards because I have a different idea of beauty, and I can't call any of my friends ugly because that would be a lie.
The point is, I am not going to smile for any of the reasons you give me. I am not going to smile just because I am a woman. I don't want to smile because society says it's " healthier". I am not going to smile because you tell me to. I am going to smile because I found something I could smile about. I see a good friend, I hear a great joke, I am at a con seeing things that I like, I am with someone I love, I see the face of my ancestors and gods....I'm laughing and carrying on with my friends....Looking at my list of reasons to smile, I see it doesn't include your reasons. So to the people who tell me or my friends to smile with no other incentive other than " I told you too," please ever so kindly, Go fornicate with yourself.