(no subject)
The fall semester is approaching and I still have two papers to write for my professor who gave me a grade of incomplete. I emailed him a bit ago to test out the waters. When he agreed to give me a grade of incomplete I told him I would have them in by the first day of class and as the days of summer ticked by I became more and more hopeful that that wasn't something he was going to hold me to. I hoped that if my email was vague enough he would reply with a "turn it in whenever because I love you." He obliged me this and said I should turn it in the second week of school. So I shall turn it in the last day of the second week of school. I still need to purchase some textbooks and a parking pass, agh... just waiting for my financial aid to come in.
So, I have this thing where I apparently don't like to live with vague happiness and contentedness so I start getting paranoid about people's true feelings and motives, particularly when they're not within my eyesight. I tried to explain this to Mark last night, but it was about 4 AM and I was half asleep in the passenger side and feeling pretty guilty after our fabulous date for ever allowing myself to wade around in my own vague paranoias. I've virtually not felt the urge to wallow in any of these feelings (vestiges of my crazy-bitch younger self) for the last three months because of how awesome Mark is and how even our worst issues are mundane and fixable and silly. What made me start to feel the tickles of controlling-ness is a mystery (but probably not a grand mystery, just an insignificant alignment of various factors that I can't put my finger on).
After seeing Scott Pilgrim with Eber and a gaggle of foreign exchange students and friends and weathering a flash flood (some of us weathered it better than others - Mark slipped and banged his head on concrete and got a massive bloody elbow wound) we split from the herd and went to waffle house. We got gross on hashbrowns and then found out that Mark, who was driving his dad's car on this night, would not be able to skip along to my home to spend the night with me because his dad quite jerkily demanded his car be returned home. Since beginning our relationship we've never had our night-time trysts impinged on by any sort of obligations or parental involvement. So, we reacted logically to this annoyance - we spent the rest of the night using his dad's car as our own moving hotel room, keeping it running at full blast for hours at a time because what better way to stick it to your old man for requesting his car be returned than by using up as much gas as possible? YAY ACTING LIKE REBELLIOUS AND INDIGNANT 16 YEAR OLDS.
We ended up parking on the top of the west deck on campus so that we could romantically look out at the forresty landscaping (just kidding we spent the whole time in the backseat looking out for campus security). Then, of course, it became time for me to throw caution to the wind and demand more fast food. So we went to cookout and drove around campus again, where we realized our school was pathetically small. I spotted two raccoons playing around, so we stopped the car and watched the cute little buggers. Soon they grew aware of our presence and scurried away (though one did poke its head back up, checking to see if we were still there). We continued our night ride and spotted a lone rabbit, blending in with the ground except for its fluffy white tail-butt. When it scampered away we rode on, but stopped to survey the hoard of geese who preened adorably... but then slowly started to walk away from our adoring eyes. THEN WE SAW THREE FUCKING DEER, IT WAS AMAZING. THEY WERE JUST FUCKING GRAZING LIKE IT WAS NOTHING. LIKE, WHAT THE HELL, DEER. I LOVE YOU, DEER. Then we went to walmart, where it became evident that I required taco bell, but it was 3 AM at that point and taco bell remained closed no matter how much Mark yelled into the drive thru machine. So, we went back to Waffle House.
Just kidding, we drove PAST the waffle house, down a dead end where the area starts to look really flat, very midwestern and picturesque. We looked out over the horizon together - which was actually not just a horizon, but an Ikea on top of a horizon. Beautiful. We romantically viewed the Ikea, and then desecrated his father's car some more. Then, it was about 4 AM and I was laying my head on the armrest between us and he was stroking my hair and I was trying to explain why I don't relate to Scott Pilgrim as a movie, and that I was sorry that I ever get paranoid and controlling.
So, I have this thing where I apparently don't like to live with vague happiness and contentedness so I start getting paranoid about people's true feelings and motives, particularly when they're not within my eyesight. I tried to explain this to Mark last night, but it was about 4 AM and I was half asleep in the passenger side and feeling pretty guilty after our fabulous date for ever allowing myself to wade around in my own vague paranoias. I've virtually not felt the urge to wallow in any of these feelings (vestiges of my crazy-bitch younger self) for the last three months because of how awesome Mark is and how even our worst issues are mundane and fixable and silly. What made me start to feel the tickles of controlling-ness is a mystery (but probably not a grand mystery, just an insignificant alignment of various factors that I can't put my finger on).
After seeing Scott Pilgrim with Eber and a gaggle of foreign exchange students and friends and weathering a flash flood (some of us weathered it better than others - Mark slipped and banged his head on concrete and got a massive bloody elbow wound) we split from the herd and went to waffle house. We got gross on hashbrowns and then found out that Mark, who was driving his dad's car on this night, would not be able to skip along to my home to spend the night with me because his dad quite jerkily demanded his car be returned home. Since beginning our relationship we've never had our night-time trysts impinged on by any sort of obligations or parental involvement. So, we reacted logically to this annoyance - we spent the rest of the night using his dad's car as our own moving hotel room, keeping it running at full blast for hours at a time because what better way to stick it to your old man for requesting his car be returned than by using up as much gas as possible? YAY ACTING LIKE REBELLIOUS AND INDIGNANT 16 YEAR OLDS.
We ended up parking on the top of the west deck on campus so that we could romantically look out at the forresty landscaping (just kidding we spent the whole time in the backseat looking out for campus security). Then, of course, it became time for me to throw caution to the wind and demand more fast food. So we went to cookout and drove around campus again, where we realized our school was pathetically small. I spotted two raccoons playing around, so we stopped the car and watched the cute little buggers. Soon they grew aware of our presence and scurried away (though one did poke its head back up, checking to see if we were still there). We continued our night ride and spotted a lone rabbit, blending in with the ground except for its fluffy white tail-butt. When it scampered away we rode on, but stopped to survey the hoard of geese who preened adorably... but then slowly started to walk away from our adoring eyes. THEN WE SAW THREE FUCKING DEER, IT WAS AMAZING. THEY WERE JUST FUCKING GRAZING LIKE IT WAS NOTHING. LIKE, WHAT THE HELL, DEER. I LOVE YOU, DEER. Then we went to walmart, where it became evident that I required taco bell, but it was 3 AM at that point and taco bell remained closed no matter how much Mark yelled into the drive thru machine. So, we went back to Waffle House.
Just kidding, we drove PAST the waffle house, down a dead end where the area starts to look really flat, very midwestern and picturesque. We looked out over the horizon together - which was actually not just a horizon, but an Ikea on top of a horizon. Beautiful. We romantically viewed the Ikea, and then desecrated his father's car some more. Then, it was about 4 AM and I was laying my head on the armrest between us and he was stroking my hair and I was trying to explain why I don't relate to Scott Pilgrim as a movie, and that I was sorry that I ever get paranoid and controlling.