I think what some people miss is how empowering it is to take responsibility. If things are partially your fault (by letting them in) then you also have the power to change them. If it's not just the world's fault, then you can do something about it.
I think that's also what stops people. It's much easier to say one has no control, but when you admit that you do (though one obviously can't control everything) you have so much more say in how your life goes.
Oh, totally. What I find key with people is that they don't want to admit their part in everything because they don't want to take on the responsibility and hassle of having to fix it.
If you constantly blame someone else, and it doesn't get fixed, then you can keep complaining. That takes a hell of a lot less work than fixing. If you blame yourself, and you don't fix it, then the only person you have to hate is you for your crappy life. That's hard for a lot of people. I think it is one of the main reasons why folks never point the finger at themselves. It sucks!
It's empowering, but terrifying. I know a lot of people right now who are running away from themselves because they are so afraid of having to face their problems for real.
Sad. If I find a way of reaching out to those folks and making the whole thing less scary, I'll let you know. : (
It's pretty individual. Mostly I have stopped trying to help people who don't want to help themselves. I let them know that I'm there when they are ready.
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I think what some people miss is how empowering it is to take responsibility. If things are partially your fault (by letting them in) then you also have the power to change them. If it's not just the world's fault, then you can do something about it.
I think that's also what stops people. It's much easier to say one has no control, but when you admit that you do (though one obviously can't control everything) you have so much more say in how your life goes.
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If you constantly blame someone else, and it doesn't get fixed, then you can keep complaining. That takes a hell of a lot less work than fixing. If you blame yourself, and you don't fix it, then the only person you have to hate is you for your crappy life. That's hard for a lot of people. I think it is one of the main reasons why folks never point the finger at themselves. It sucks!
It's empowering, but terrifying. I know a lot of people right now who are running away from themselves because they are so afraid of having to face their problems for real.
Sad. If I find a way of reaching out to those folks and making the whole thing less scary, I'll let you know. : (
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It's pretty individual. Mostly I have stopped trying to help people who don't want to help themselves. I let them know that I'm there when they are ready.
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