If you are 30 or older, you will (probably) think this is hilarious!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with
their tedious diatribes about how hard things were
when they were growing up; what with walking
twenty-five miles to school every morning ....uphill
BOTH ways... yadda, yadda, yadda. And I remember
promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way
in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that
on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I
can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.
You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my
childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to
say it but you kids today you don't know how good
you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have
The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go
to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the
card catalogue!! There was no email! We had to
actually write somebody a letter... with a pen! Then
you had to walk all the way across the street and put
it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get
there!
There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal
music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store
and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around
all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ usually
talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!
And talk of about hardship? You couldn't just
download porn! You had to steal it from your brother
or bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of
"Hustler" at the 7-11! Those were your options!
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you
were on the phone and somebody else called they got a
busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy
Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had
no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom,
your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a
collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take
your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games
with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari
600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "asteroids"
and the graphics sucked ass! Your guy was a little
square! You actually had to use your imagination! And
there were no multiple levels or screens; it was just
one screen forever! And you could never win. The game
just kept getting harder and harder and faster and
faster until you died! ... Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theatre there no such thing
as stadium seating! All the seats were the same
height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat
in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just
screwed!
Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was
only like 15 channels and there was no on screen menu
and no remote control! You had to use a little book
called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were
screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to
get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the
channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You
could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you
hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for
cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat
something up, we had to use the stove or go build a
frigging fire... imagine that! If we wanted popcorn,
we had to use that Stupid JiffyPop thing and shake it
over the stove forever like an idiot.
That's exactly what I'm talking about!
You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled.
You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!