OKRF 2011 Is Over
... and I thought I'd post a few random thoughts. No real reason really, just because.
This was my second year as a part of the soup kitchen. Last year, though I enjoyed myself immensely, it kind of seemed like the underlying question was always, "Who's the odd... Uh, I guess, girl?... handing out bread?" This year, I felt more like I was expected. Everyone seemed to be looking for me, & always had such nice things to say. I feel like I belong. :)
As always, my favorite part was seeing so many wonderful friends, along with getting to know some better & making new ones. THIS has become my favorite part of faire!
One of the things I had the most fun with was keeping a running count-down to my final transition surgery (16 days as of this writing!). SO many people kept the count along with me, & were able to correct me if I lost track! Along with this, the one question I got asked over & over (almost daily) was, "Are you scared or nervous?" The answer: NO, not at all. The hard parts of this journey are all behind me, & I have no hesitation or nervousness whatsoever. Z asked me at one point a few weeks ago if it was okay if she was still a little scared. Of couse it's okay - for anyone who is concerned, not just her - but it's like I told her. There's no such thing as a minor surgery, so of course, there's always a risk when you're put under. But if the worst comes to pass, please, don't anyone grieve. These last 2 years have been, even at the worst of times when I've struggled, the best of my life. If I DO have something happen & don't make it out, NO grieving! I'll have died happier than I've ever thought it was possible to be. And THAT is the best we can hope for when we do go.
For the first time (ever, not just as a part of faire), I got to spend some time with my niece & nephew. We ran off & played several times over the weeks, & yesterday Brie & I did some shopping together. I love those kids so much, & really hate living so far away from them. As a parent, you discover they grow up way too fast, & you lose so many opportunities. As the long-distance aunt, even more so. But it especially made me happy that every single time they spoke to me, they would always start off, "Aunt Emily, ...". THIS is the only me they'll ever know. {Contented sigh} :)
Had a couple of bad incidents during the course of the run, but that's life. Life, and, well... that's enough said about that for now.
One of the other things I got a lot of fun out of was constantly introducing Jenny to EVERYONE (even those she's known longer than myself), "Have you met my friend, DR. Dixon?" I know she groused at me some, & I think mybe got a little bit embarrassed, but I hope she knows it's just because I'm SO proud of her! I've had my fun, Jenny, & will knock it off now. (IF you REALLY want me too, that is!)
This last weekend, I came to a good realization that finally puts one of my "issues" in a good place at last. As I woke up Sunday, I was laying in bed thinking about what I wanted to do about some sort of post-surgery celebration. This has been something that has gone back & forth many times, for which I apologize, but I've just never felt satisified with the way it was going. The predominant idea has always been a weenie roast (with various humorous ideas associated with it), but to me, that's NOT really a "celebration". That's just a cookout - something you do in the summertime because you're bored. Anyway, I was laying there, mentally making a list, thinking, "If I had everything out of a celebration that I could possibly ask for, what is it I really want anyway?" I had made myself a mental list of about a half dozen things, when it suddenly occurred to me: Except for the part about I wanted a fancy dress occasion (i.e., LBD type of affair), I was describing faire! SO, I made up my mind - this past month has been my celebration. I was surrounded by most of those who I love the most (with a few notable exceptions, but that can be fixed later, one-on-one), doing what I love the most. What else could I possibly have wished for? I'm FINALLY at a good place with that. So, if you saw me anytime during the month of May at faire, thanks SO much for helping celebrate with me! If you were waiting on the plans for what I will be doing - sorry! You missed it! (But I'm always open to other celebrations as well.) :D
All in all, a very good month, and only a little over 2 more weeks to go!
I love you!
This was my second year as a part of the soup kitchen. Last year, though I enjoyed myself immensely, it kind of seemed like the underlying question was always, "Who's the odd... Uh, I guess, girl?... handing out bread?" This year, I felt more like I was expected. Everyone seemed to be looking for me, & always had such nice things to say. I feel like I belong. :)
As always, my favorite part was seeing so many wonderful friends, along with getting to know some better & making new ones. THIS has become my favorite part of faire!
One of the things I had the most fun with was keeping a running count-down to my final transition surgery (16 days as of this writing!). SO many people kept the count along with me, & were able to correct me if I lost track! Along with this, the one question I got asked over & over (almost daily) was, "Are you scared or nervous?" The answer: NO, not at all. The hard parts of this journey are all behind me, & I have no hesitation or nervousness whatsoever. Z asked me at one point a few weeks ago if it was okay if she was still a little scared. Of couse it's okay - for anyone who is concerned, not just her - but it's like I told her. There's no such thing as a minor surgery, so of course, there's always a risk when you're put under. But if the worst comes to pass, please, don't anyone grieve. These last 2 years have been, even at the worst of times when I've struggled, the best of my life. If I DO have something happen & don't make it out, NO grieving! I'll have died happier than I've ever thought it was possible to be. And THAT is the best we can hope for when we do go.
For the first time (ever, not just as a part of faire), I got to spend some time with my niece & nephew. We ran off & played several times over the weeks, & yesterday Brie & I did some shopping together. I love those kids so much, & really hate living so far away from them. As a parent, you discover they grow up way too fast, & you lose so many opportunities. As the long-distance aunt, even more so. But it especially made me happy that every single time they spoke to me, they would always start off, "Aunt Emily, ...". THIS is the only me they'll ever know. {Contented sigh} :)
Had a couple of bad incidents during the course of the run, but that's life. Life, and, well... that's enough said about that for now.
One of the other things I got a lot of fun out of was constantly introducing Jenny to EVERYONE (even those she's known longer than myself), "Have you met my friend, DR. Dixon?" I know she groused at me some, & I think mybe got a little bit embarrassed, but I hope she knows it's just because I'm SO proud of her! I've had my fun, Jenny, & will knock it off now. (IF you REALLY want me too, that is!)
This last weekend, I came to a good realization that finally puts one of my "issues" in a good place at last. As I woke up Sunday, I was laying in bed thinking about what I wanted to do about some sort of post-surgery celebration. This has been something that has gone back & forth many times, for which I apologize, but I've just never felt satisified with the way it was going. The predominant idea has always been a weenie roast (with various humorous ideas associated with it), but to me, that's NOT really a "celebration". That's just a cookout - something you do in the summertime because you're bored. Anyway, I was laying there, mentally making a list, thinking, "If I had everything out of a celebration that I could possibly ask for, what is it I really want anyway?" I had made myself a mental list of about a half dozen things, when it suddenly occurred to me: Except for the part about I wanted a fancy dress occasion (i.e., LBD type of affair), I was describing faire! SO, I made up my mind - this past month has been my celebration. I was surrounded by most of those who I love the most (with a few notable exceptions, but that can be fixed later, one-on-one), doing what I love the most. What else could I possibly have wished for? I'm FINALLY at a good place with that. So, if you saw me anytime during the month of May at faire, thanks SO much for helping celebrate with me! If you were waiting on the plans for what I will be doing - sorry! You missed it! (But I'm always open to other celebrations as well.) :D
All in all, a very good month, and only a little over 2 more weeks to go!
I love you!