maybe i wish i was him.

[aka_izm]

im there, at a funeral for a beloved basketball coach who i have only seen in a tv show. he had kind words, sometimes a short temper but always knew to never let it get the best of him. i was in a seat, sitting next to people i cant remember and they were starting to say their i love him, he was this, and the lady who worked at the hospital comes out and says to the widow in front of everybody that their coverage didnt cover all of his expenses and if she had more coverage or wanting to go over some payment options. she said no and smiled, the lady couldn't believe it. but she just said no again, it made me think she is saying no because she knows that soon she is going too. well they starting saying some things and singing some things and i just kept thinking about how people loved him and his life and a couple of different things and i tried to hold my tears in but then i got down on my knewes put my head down and just cried, cried, and cried and it felt so good, so long overdue and soooo soooooo goood. then i get up and theres this gentlemeann at the front pointing back i get up as everyone just starts looking back and htey didnt notice me, in fact nobody did. everyone looks back including me and i was like are they looking at me and they werent, kinda confused how that felt like nobody cared, and the guy upfront says you know where the party is at for him, its only for his close friends and a lot of people just didn't know. it was like one of his spots. and i knew somehow i didnt know.

whats weirder, i can't re-read this... so if there is proof errors, thats great.