Crazy shit, man, I shit you not. DRAMA.
So some of you may be aware that one of the reasons that I haven't been about is because I've been working on pre-production of a music video for a local band. We were due to shoot this weekend with approx 30 friends/family volunteering to be in the video.
Now, NK has done a number of professional shoots so this one was being run properly. He was producing, I was director and he (due to where he works) had access to a proper film studio and tens of grand worth of equipment. And why did the band warrant this? Because Jac's (my sister's) boyfriend Dan was the bassist in the band. And they were pretty fucking good, ngl.
Anyway - we had a meeting with them on Friday night to finalise some of the details and all seemed well until yesterday when I got a phone call from Jac. Now, anyone who knows Jac knows that she can be a bit brash when she doesn't know people. She's shy and introverted, but once you get past that, she's awesome. Now two members of the band (but the vocalist in particular, Micky) didn't want to get past the initial brash stage and decided they don't like her. Fine. She doesn't care and I won't get involved. It hasn't troubled the shoot plans and process at all.
Until yesterday.
Yesterday things went from fine to the whole thing being cancelled, all because Micky "found out" that Jac was being my Assistant Director (which had been planned for a WHILE and included in emails sent to him). I swear to god. He blamed Dan for "letting" Jac be involved (it was my decision) when they have a "no girlfriends involved in band business" policy and it's ended with the shoot being cancelled and Dan leaving the band. HONESTLY!
My email to Micky:
"Hi Micky - it's Von
Considering all of the shit that's been going down, I thought it was important that I email you because there's some stuff that we need to be really clear on.
First of all, as will be perfectly clear, I don't have any position about your relationship with Jac. She's my sister and I know that some people have a problem with her directness. She can be brash and if you don't get on with her, that has nothing to do with me. I'm a very different person and I very often get on with people that she doesn't. So I understand that you might not like her and I would never let that affect my feelings.
However, a long time ago Jac and I were talking about me being a director and she asked if she could be my assistant director as she wouldn't want to be on camera. I thought it was a great idea and so when it was arranged that I would direct your video, I remembered and asked her to be the AD. I didn't realise that there would be any problems with it.
A few weeks ago Jac came back to me and said that it maybe wasn't the best idea because she doesn't get on with you and Dale and that you two might have a problem with it. I waved her worries aside - I told her that you guys would know before hand that she was the AD and exactly what her duties were and if there were issues, I would deal with them. I asked her if she was able to be professional enough to work with you and Dale in spite of not getting on with you. She said she could - she would be professional and do the job needed.
We sent all of the information to you guys - but it wasn't a real shock that you didn't read it. I mean, after all, I had to read the script out to you all on Friday night so you'd know what was in it and that was first sent to you back in March to agree. That was why NK also went through the list of who was doing what on Friday. Considering Jac's worries, I watched specifically for your's and Dale's reactions when NK explained what the AD does and that it was going to be Jac. But there was no reaction - I assumed this meant that you guys could be professional about it too. However, it appears it was actually because you weren't paying attention.
Jac then called me at work yesterday to tell me that she wasn't going to be the AD. I asked why and she told me it was because you and Dale had "found out" that she was being the AD and had freaked out about it. My exact words to her?
"No way - you are my AD. This is OUR crew and nothing to do with the band. Let me talk to Micky or Dale and I'll sort it."
I called Dan and spoke to him and told him not to worry. He told me that you'd asked him to talk to me and explain that you didn't want Jac. He passed on your message and it was me who told HIM that it was bullshit and that I was not having some petty squabble disrupt my crew choices. Hence asking Dan for your number and requesting that he let you know I would call.
I wanted to be the one who called because I knew that NK would be really pissed off. I mean, all through the pre-production process he would email and email and request emails back and get nothing. We requested time and time again that dates be set and, even when they were, the request for further dates was ignored until Friday night. I appreciate that you work, but so do NK and I so that's not exactly an excuse. NK wasn't convinced of the band's dedication to getting a professional piece of work done. So I wanted to be the one who spoke to you. I could have explained - as I already had to Jac and Dan - that her not being the AD was not an option. I would have explained that she has nothing to do with "bossing" you guys around [he said he thought she might take advantage of being AD to boss them around] and that, even if she had done that on the day, NK as the producer would have taken her to task for it. If she had stepped out of line, she would have been sacked off the set. Because, sister or not, I would not let her fuck up a professional shoot. And she knew that. I would have told you all of this if you had spoken to me rather than trying to get Dan to do it for you.
But when you said that you were not available to talk to me it made it clear that you were not interested in resolving the issue by talking to the only person who's actual choice it was to have Jac there. Hence NK's text to you and then the phone call. [NK texted Micky to tell him to call or it was all off. Micky called and NK then tore him a new one basically telling him that he and Dale were being unprofessional and that this was a stupid, 11th hour petty issue. And to get his shit together] We both, mistakenly, thought that you were able to (like Jac) put aside personal issues in order to get a job done. How wrong we were
Something you have to understand is that, no matter what Dan said on the matter, I was never going to tell Jac that she couldn't be the AD. In a choice between my sister (who was willing to be professional) and some guy I barely know in a band (who was throwing a "No girlfriends - whine whine" shit-fit like he's some big star and not just some no-mark) I was going to choose my sister EVERY TIME.
And the ridiculous thing is? Because of your failure to suck it up, deal with your own petty dislike of Jac, and believe Dan when he totally truthfully told you that he could NOT have changed my mind because I was not pandering to unprofessional children, you have lost a bassist, an agent [Dan was in contact with an agent who now won't deal with the rest of the band because of Micky] and a couple-of-thousand-pounds worth of video shoot. Wow. If I were you, I'd feel pretty stupid right about now.
What you seem to fail to understand is that I am a grown woman who makes her own decisions. Dan is not my lord and master and could no more have made my decision about Jac for me than fly to the moon. By blaming Dan for what was my decision you were implying that in some way he had some kind of control over me. Maybe the women in your life are walk-overs who rely on their men to make their decisions for them and that's sad. But I am a person who is able to make my own choices and way in the world and I don't appreciate the implication that it would be otherwise.
I don't kid myself that you will read this email in good faith or that you will realise your own part in this. You seem to think that blaming everyone else will somehow make things not your fault. But nothing will change the fact that all you had to do was maintain some level of professional behaviour and not let your personal dislike of Jac interfere with things. But you couldn't even manage that. Even if we decided to go on with the shoot now that Dan is out of the band? Jac would STILL be the AD. Because it was never about Jac being Dan's girlfriend - it was about me wanting my sister to be my AD and that will happen on any shoot that I do.
But, as you've very clearly demonstrated that you have no level of professionalism whatsoever, both NK and I are 100% certain that we do not want to work with you on this shoot, or at any other time in future.
Von"
That email felt SO GOOD to write. I mean, are you kidding me? He never once spoke to me, the person who had made the decision, and basically threw a tantrum stating that he wouldn't have Jac working on "his" video. And the thing that Jac did that was so heinous? Disagree with him when he ASKED her for her opinion on something to do with the band. And then, when he got aggressive with her (in her own house), threw him out of the house. That's it. She didn't kill it first-born or piss in his cornflakes - she stood up to him.
So there we are. Instead of filming this weekend we have a tonne of make up, fake blood and a film studio with nothing to do with it. I, for one, am going to get drunk and relax instead. And maybe start planning our next filming project. :D
Now, NK has done a number of professional shoots so this one was being run properly. He was producing, I was director and he (due to where he works) had access to a proper film studio and tens of grand worth of equipment. And why did the band warrant this? Because Jac's (my sister's) boyfriend Dan was the bassist in the band. And they were pretty fucking good, ngl.
Anyway - we had a meeting with them on Friday night to finalise some of the details and all seemed well until yesterday when I got a phone call from Jac. Now, anyone who knows Jac knows that she can be a bit brash when she doesn't know people. She's shy and introverted, but once you get past that, she's awesome. Now two members of the band (but the vocalist in particular, Micky) didn't want to get past the initial brash stage and decided they don't like her. Fine. She doesn't care and I won't get involved. It hasn't troubled the shoot plans and process at all.
Until yesterday.
Yesterday things went from fine to the whole thing being cancelled, all because Micky "found out" that Jac was being my Assistant Director (which had been planned for a WHILE and included in emails sent to him). I swear to god. He blamed Dan for "letting" Jac be involved (it was my decision) when they have a "no girlfriends involved in band business" policy and it's ended with the shoot being cancelled and Dan leaving the band. HONESTLY!
My email to Micky:
"Hi Micky - it's Von
Considering all of the shit that's been going down, I thought it was important that I email you because there's some stuff that we need to be really clear on.
First of all, as will be perfectly clear, I don't have any position about your relationship with Jac. She's my sister and I know that some people have a problem with her directness. She can be brash and if you don't get on with her, that has nothing to do with me. I'm a very different person and I very often get on with people that she doesn't. So I understand that you might not like her and I would never let that affect my feelings.
However, a long time ago Jac and I were talking about me being a director and she asked if she could be my assistant director as she wouldn't want to be on camera. I thought it was a great idea and so when it was arranged that I would direct your video, I remembered and asked her to be the AD. I didn't realise that there would be any problems with it.
A few weeks ago Jac came back to me and said that it maybe wasn't the best idea because she doesn't get on with you and Dale and that you two might have a problem with it. I waved her worries aside - I told her that you guys would know before hand that she was the AD and exactly what her duties were and if there were issues, I would deal with them. I asked her if she was able to be professional enough to work with you and Dale in spite of not getting on with you. She said she could - she would be professional and do the job needed.
We sent all of the information to you guys - but it wasn't a real shock that you didn't read it. I mean, after all, I had to read the script out to you all on Friday night so you'd know what was in it and that was first sent to you back in March to agree. That was why NK also went through the list of who was doing what on Friday. Considering Jac's worries, I watched specifically for your's and Dale's reactions when NK explained what the AD does and that it was going to be Jac. But there was no reaction - I assumed this meant that you guys could be professional about it too. However, it appears it was actually because you weren't paying attention.
Jac then called me at work yesterday to tell me that she wasn't going to be the AD. I asked why and she told me it was because you and Dale had "found out" that she was being the AD and had freaked out about it. My exact words to her?
"No way - you are my AD. This is OUR crew and nothing to do with the band. Let me talk to Micky or Dale and I'll sort it."
I called Dan and spoke to him and told him not to worry. He told me that you'd asked him to talk to me and explain that you didn't want Jac. He passed on your message and it was me who told HIM that it was bullshit and that I was not having some petty squabble disrupt my crew choices. Hence asking Dan for your number and requesting that he let you know I would call.
I wanted to be the one who called because I knew that NK would be really pissed off. I mean, all through the pre-production process he would email and email and request emails back and get nothing. We requested time and time again that dates be set and, even when they were, the request for further dates was ignored until Friday night. I appreciate that you work, but so do NK and I so that's not exactly an excuse. NK wasn't convinced of the band's dedication to getting a professional piece of work done. So I wanted to be the one who spoke to you. I could have explained - as I already had to Jac and Dan - that her not being the AD was not an option. I would have explained that she has nothing to do with "bossing" you guys around [he said he thought she might take advantage of being AD to boss them around] and that, even if she had done that on the day, NK as the producer would have taken her to task for it. If she had stepped out of line, she would have been sacked off the set. Because, sister or not, I would not let her fuck up a professional shoot. And she knew that. I would have told you all of this if you had spoken to me rather than trying to get Dan to do it for you.
But when you said that you were not available to talk to me it made it clear that you were not interested in resolving the issue by talking to the only person who's actual choice it was to have Jac there. Hence NK's text to you and then the phone call. [NK texted Micky to tell him to call or it was all off. Micky called and NK then tore him a new one basically telling him that he and Dale were being unprofessional and that this was a stupid, 11th hour petty issue. And to get his shit together] We both, mistakenly, thought that you were able to (like Jac) put aside personal issues in order to get a job done. How wrong we were
Something you have to understand is that, no matter what Dan said on the matter, I was never going to tell Jac that she couldn't be the AD. In a choice between my sister (who was willing to be professional) and some guy I barely know in a band (who was throwing a "No girlfriends - whine whine" shit-fit like he's some big star and not just some no-mark) I was going to choose my sister EVERY TIME.
And the ridiculous thing is? Because of your failure to suck it up, deal with your own petty dislike of Jac, and believe Dan when he totally truthfully told you that he could NOT have changed my mind because I was not pandering to unprofessional children, you have lost a bassist, an agent [Dan was in contact with an agent who now won't deal with the rest of the band because of Micky] and a couple-of-thousand-pounds worth of video shoot. Wow. If I were you, I'd feel pretty stupid right about now.
What you seem to fail to understand is that I am a grown woman who makes her own decisions. Dan is not my lord and master and could no more have made my decision about Jac for me than fly to the moon. By blaming Dan for what was my decision you were implying that in some way he had some kind of control over me. Maybe the women in your life are walk-overs who rely on their men to make their decisions for them and that's sad. But I am a person who is able to make my own choices and way in the world and I don't appreciate the implication that it would be otherwise.
I don't kid myself that you will read this email in good faith or that you will realise your own part in this. You seem to think that blaming everyone else will somehow make things not your fault. But nothing will change the fact that all you had to do was maintain some level of professional behaviour and not let your personal dislike of Jac interfere with things. But you couldn't even manage that. Even if we decided to go on with the shoot now that Dan is out of the band? Jac would STILL be the AD. Because it was never about Jac being Dan's girlfriend - it was about me wanting my sister to be my AD and that will happen on any shoot that I do.
But, as you've very clearly demonstrated that you have no level of professionalism whatsoever, both NK and I are 100% certain that we do not want to work with you on this shoot, or at any other time in future.
Von"
That email felt SO GOOD to write. I mean, are you kidding me? He never once spoke to me, the person who had made the decision, and basically threw a tantrum stating that he wouldn't have Jac working on "his" video. And the thing that Jac did that was so heinous? Disagree with him when he ASKED her for her opinion on something to do with the band. And then, when he got aggressive with her (in her own house), threw him out of the house. That's it. She didn't kill it first-born or piss in his cornflakes - she stood up to him.
So there we are. Instead of filming this weekend we have a tonne of make up, fake blood and a film studio with nothing to do with it. I, for one, am going to get drunk and relax instead. And maybe start planning our next filming project. :D