Fic: Human Wreckage
Title: Human Wreckage
Fandom: Bandslash - MCR & FOB
Pairings: Patrick/Gerard
Words: ~2000
Disclaimer: All made up in my brain.
Summary: When Gerard turns up at his door - duffle bag stuffed with any clothes he could find, clean or dirty - Patrick huffs a laugh and steps back to let Gerard through.
This fic arrived almost fully formed in my brain last night as I was trying to go to sleep. Thanks brain! Thank you again to the lovely strangecobwebs for betaing while at her work no less, and when she was just about to go home.
When Gerard turns up at his door - duffle bag stuffed with any clothes he could find, clean or dirty - Patrick huffs a laugh and steps back to let him through.
Gerard steps in and mutters "Thanks man," before standing awkwardly in the hall, duffle bag set on his feet, while Patrick closes the door again. Patrick turns around to face him and Gerard's mouth goes dry. He's tried desperately to think of a reason to give Patrick for why he has arrived on his doorstep in Chicago at 2pm on a random Thursday afternoon. None of the lame excuses he tried on the flight out of Newark can even make it out of his throat.
"Want some coffee?" Patrick saves him from what was sure to become too awkward a silence - a silence that would make him grab the duffle bag and run off somewhere else. God knows where else. Gerard nods, mutely. Patrick points down the hall. "Bedrooms are that way if you want to dump your stuff? Just search till you find one that isn't covered in my shit and that'll be a spare room."
Gerard grins. Patrick smiles. They stand for a moment before Gerard shoves the duffle bag along the wooden floor of the hall with his foot to hunt out a room.
****************************
Gerard has been living in Patrick's spare room for a week before they even brush on the subject of why Gerard turned up out of nowhere to crash. He's been insanely thankful to fall into a daily pattern of get up, eat, sleep, slouch around, sleep, watch bad TV, hang out with Patrick and sleep. Patrick has a music-related room (not quite a studio) in his house and spends a lot of time in there. Gerard is trying to avoid all things music-related so he really doesn't even see Patrick that much. Mainly he sleeps.
"How's Mikey?" Patrick asks one afternoon while Gerard tries to make the oven stop being a bitch and reheat pizza without burning it. The question is innocent and Gerard can hear no subterfuge in Patrick's voice, but it still makes him tense.
"He's okay," Gerard says, quietly. "Everyone's okay." He scowls at the oven.
"Yeah?" And Gerard knows what's coming next. Why is he here? What happened? It sucks because he's not ready to talk about anything and doesn't want to leave here. Patrick is good company and laughs at all the same bits of TV that Gerard does. He can't remember ever noticing something like that before, but with Patrick he does. He pulls the pizza out of the oven, not answering, and sets it on the side. One side is singed. He pushes it onto two plates.
"Hey - " and Patrick is right there, next to him. Reaching out. Gerard tries not to pull back as Patrick picks up one of the plates. " - want to eat outside? It's not too windy." Gerard finally looks at Patrick and smiles.
"Cool," he says, flooded with adrenalin and a burning love for this be-hatted saviour.
Later, when they've finished eating and Gerard is smoking, Patrick looks over at him. "You know you can stay for as long as you like, right?" Gerard nods. He knew.
**************************
Two days into the second week Gerard decides that they need to buy groceries and stop living on takeout. He laughs at the look of total horror on Patrick's face as he gathers the takeout menus to his chest as though Gerard just insulted his children. Gerard pulls them out of Patrick's hands, dumping them unceremoniously on the table. He hasn't left the house or its garden since he arrived 9 days ago and he likes the idea of grocery shopping with Patrick. He knows that they'll laugh over the same bits of that too.
Gerard grabs Patrick's hand and pulls him up out of the chair, not letting go until they're in the hall.
"Keys?" He asks, looking around. Patrick sighs with resignation and walks back into the lounge, returning moments later with his car and house keys. Gerard grins at him. Patrick tries not to smile back, ducking his head. Gerard slings an arm around his shoulder and pulls him out the front door.
At the supermarket they argue over what soda to buy ("Coke!" "No way, dude - Pepsi. I thought you were cool?" "Fuck off.") and bitch about how companies keep bringing out 'New Improved Recipes' for chips that already rock. Some girls recognise Gerard and burst into an explosion of giggles. Gerard moves behind Patrick who steers them to the checkout before the girls can pluck up the courage to come and ask for photos and autographs and hugs. They argue over who pays until the checkout guy huffs with annoyance.
When they get back to Patrick's house Gerard unpacks while Patrick starts cooking ("You paid - I cook. Plus you burn reheated pizza...") and tries not to stare when Patrick takes off his hat and sets it aside.
****************************
Gerard gets up some time at the beginning of the third week, scratching the creases on his belly imprinted from the bedding. He knows that he should have a shower this morning but even the thought of it feels like too much effort. He trudges into the living room and finds Patrick with his feet up on the coffee table, playing Zelda. He hadn't even known that Patrick owned a console.
Patrick is wearing only a pair of boxers and a t-shirt making Gerard feel less self-conscious but still aware that he only has on some boxers himself. Not for the first time he kind of wishes he had spent more time grabbing clothes. No pajamas and only 3 pairs of underwear. He knows it's gross that he makes the three pairs last a week before doing laundry but it's him and it's Patrick and really, who cares?
He can always pick up more underwear and pajamas when they go out again.
Gerard drops onto the couch next to Patrick and puts his own feet up. No hat again. Gerard smiles. He drags over some paper and sketches random bits of the game while Patrick plays. Slowly he drifts from drawing into writing - noting out lyrics to maybe use for the next album.
He's got maybe 3 songs ideas half-written before he thinks about emailing them to Ray and feels sick. Patrick looks over at him and offers him the controller.
******************************
Gerard finally buys some pajamas and cheap black boxer-briefs on the day that he finally defeats the main boss in the Water Temple. Patrick jokes that he's buying underwear in celebration of not sucking at Zelda any more. Gerard knocks him into a display and runs off laughing as Patrick scowls, picking up Y-fronts off the floor.
When they get home Patrick takes his hat off and throws it on the couch, running his hands through his almost shoulder-length hair and dumping the bags on his hat. He's bitching about how Gerard has made him a girl who goes shopping for underwear. Gerard is going to remind him that they also bought comics and a Nintendo Wii but instead he slips a hand round the nape of Patrick's neck and kisses him. Patrick kisses back.
Patrick angles them toward the couch and pulls Gerard on top of him and they make out until Patrick stops and pushes Gerard off.
"Your fucking underwear is digging into my ass," Patrick complains. Gerard laughs and they kiss again. That night they both sleep in Patrick's bed, naked and exhausted.
Gerard never really goes back into the spare room.
******************************
Gerard sometimes goes into the music room with Patrick now.
("Dude - don't call it a music room, okay? It makes it sound like I live in some 1900s novel."
"Music hovel? Music sty?"
"Don't make me beat you to death with with my favourite guitar and bury you outside.")
Sometimes Gerard sings Fall Out Boy songs with Patrick and sometimes they sing his songs just to keep in practice. When they're singing "Blood" Patrick grins at him pointedly during "'Cause I'm such an awful fuck" and Gerard punches him on the arm.
Patrick takes Gerard's lyrics that are really all about being here, safe, and writes music for them. It's weird to be making songs and music this way. Patrick's way is so different to how he's used to it happening, but it's fun and they get to both sing and Gerard kisses Patrick every time he looks really hot with his guitar.
It's a slow writing process.
******************************
Gerard is sitting out in the garden, feet on one seat while he leans back on the other, when Patrick comes outside holding his phone and looking pale. Gerard has a cigarette half smoked held in one hand, biting his nails while he holds "Preacher: Salvation" in the other. He glances up at Patrick to smile.
The smiles drops when he sees Patrick's face.
"What?" He asks, but he already knows. He can feel his heart pounding.
"I'm sorry, dude..." Patrick says, rubbing the heal of his hand across his forehead as though he's rubbing away a hat-band mark. "...I didn't know that people would be - I didn't know I wasn't meant to tell anyone."
Patrick looks wretched and for a selfish second Gerard's glad, before he remembers that this is Patrick who has let him stay in his house for four weeks with no explanation and would wake him up with a blow job sometimes now.
Gerard swallows. "Frank?" He asks. Patrick nods.
"He's at the airport right now. His flight gets in to O'Hare in about 3 hours." Patrick was watching Gerard now. "I'm so sorry, man. Seriously. I knew there was something wrong, but I just mentioned you were here to Pete when he called and...just, no one had thought to ask me if I knew where you were and Pete said that they've been frantic..."
Gerard pushes up out of the chair, stomach dropping like a stone. He feels sick and trapped and just stands until he can't watch Patrick be worried anymore.
"It's okay," he tells Patrick, "You didn't know." Gerard kisses him and then walks into the house.
He thinks about leaving again but the duffle bag won't fit all of the new things he's bought. And he likes it here with Patrick. Running away meant running away from Patrick and there was the joint custody of the Wii to think about.
He end up lying down on Patrick's bed and tries to sleep. He remembers the first two weeks here when he slept probably too much, but every time he tries to get back to that he thinks of Patrick waiting for Frank to get here while Gerard sleeps. He pushes up off the bed and walks out to the living room where Patrick is sat looking slightly lost on the couch.
"Wanna bowl?" Gerard asks, wandering over to flick the power to the Wii on. He smiles a little at Patrick who smiles back.
***************************
When Frank arrives Gerard has almost forgotten that he's coming. Forgotten except for a gnawing in his stomach that he can't get rid of.
Patrick answers the door and Frank all but barges past him until he sees Gerard standing and waiting in the lounge.
"I'm so fucking sorry, man," Frank says, moving toward Gerard. "I'm so sorry." He shakes his head and Gerard's surprised to see that he's almost in tears. "I'm so sorry. So sorry. I'm such a fucking dickhead. We all are, really. I'm just..."
Gerard grins. He moves forward and hugs Frank who clings to him like he's going to run off again. Gerard's not going anywhere. He doesn't need to any more.
"It's okay," he tells Frank, into his hair. "Don't worry about it."
It feels so anticlimactic considering he ran half way across the country to avoid this. He can see Patrick watching, confused, and smiles at him. It really is all okay.
***************************
That night, while Frank is asleep in the spare room ("Uh - are these yours?" "Yeah, I used to sleep in here." "Used to?") and Gerard is spent and wrapped round Patrick, they talk.
"So are you ever going to tell me why you came here?" Patrick asks. Gerard huffs at him a little.
"You're ruining my afterglow." Gerard complains, knowing that he'll tell Patrick soon. Once he's asked if he can stay here and move in and mix all his shit with Patrick's. "I'm not telling you," he lies.
"'Cause you're such an awful fuck'?" Patrick asks, laughing. Gerard can't help the laughter that bursts out of him.
"Yeah," he agrees. "'I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love.'"
Patrick pulls him closer and Gerard thinks that he hears Patrick say "Yeah" really quietly under his breath.
Fandom: Bandslash - MCR & FOB
Pairings: Patrick/Gerard
Words: ~2000
Disclaimer: All made up in my brain.
Summary: When Gerard turns up at his door - duffle bag stuffed with any clothes he could find, clean or dirty - Patrick huffs a laugh and steps back to let Gerard through.
This fic arrived almost fully formed in my brain last night as I was trying to go to sleep. Thanks brain! Thank you again to the lovely strangecobwebs for betaing while at her work no less, and when she was just about to go home.
When Gerard turns up at his door - duffle bag stuffed with any clothes he could find, clean or dirty - Patrick huffs a laugh and steps back to let him through.
Gerard steps in and mutters "Thanks man," before standing awkwardly in the hall, duffle bag set on his feet, while Patrick closes the door again. Patrick turns around to face him and Gerard's mouth goes dry. He's tried desperately to think of a reason to give Patrick for why he has arrived on his doorstep in Chicago at 2pm on a random Thursday afternoon. None of the lame excuses he tried on the flight out of Newark can even make it out of his throat.
"Want some coffee?" Patrick saves him from what was sure to become too awkward a silence - a silence that would make him grab the duffle bag and run off somewhere else. God knows where else. Gerard nods, mutely. Patrick points down the hall. "Bedrooms are that way if you want to dump your stuff? Just search till you find one that isn't covered in my shit and that'll be a spare room."
Gerard grins. Patrick smiles. They stand for a moment before Gerard shoves the duffle bag along the wooden floor of the hall with his foot to hunt out a room.
****************************
Gerard has been living in Patrick's spare room for a week before they even brush on the subject of why Gerard turned up out of nowhere to crash. He's been insanely thankful to fall into a daily pattern of get up, eat, sleep, slouch around, sleep, watch bad TV, hang out with Patrick and sleep. Patrick has a music-related room (not quite a studio) in his house and spends a lot of time in there. Gerard is trying to avoid all things music-related so he really doesn't even see Patrick that much. Mainly he sleeps.
"How's Mikey?" Patrick asks one afternoon while Gerard tries to make the oven stop being a bitch and reheat pizza without burning it. The question is innocent and Gerard can hear no subterfuge in Patrick's voice, but it still makes him tense.
"He's okay," Gerard says, quietly. "Everyone's okay." He scowls at the oven.
"Yeah?" And Gerard knows what's coming next. Why is he here? What happened? It sucks because he's not ready to talk about anything and doesn't want to leave here. Patrick is good company and laughs at all the same bits of TV that Gerard does. He can't remember ever noticing something like that before, but with Patrick he does. He pulls the pizza out of the oven, not answering, and sets it on the side. One side is singed. He pushes it onto two plates.
"Hey - " and Patrick is right there, next to him. Reaching out. Gerard tries not to pull back as Patrick picks up one of the plates. " - want to eat outside? It's not too windy." Gerard finally looks at Patrick and smiles.
"Cool," he says, flooded with adrenalin and a burning love for this be-hatted saviour.
Later, when they've finished eating and Gerard is smoking, Patrick looks over at him. "You know you can stay for as long as you like, right?" Gerard nods. He knew.
**************************
Two days into the second week Gerard decides that they need to buy groceries and stop living on takeout. He laughs at the look of total horror on Patrick's face as he gathers the takeout menus to his chest as though Gerard just insulted his children. Gerard pulls them out of Patrick's hands, dumping them unceremoniously on the table. He hasn't left the house or its garden since he arrived 9 days ago and he likes the idea of grocery shopping with Patrick. He knows that they'll laugh over the same bits of that too.
Gerard grabs Patrick's hand and pulls him up out of the chair, not letting go until they're in the hall.
"Keys?" He asks, looking around. Patrick sighs with resignation and walks back into the lounge, returning moments later with his car and house keys. Gerard grins at him. Patrick tries not to smile back, ducking his head. Gerard slings an arm around his shoulder and pulls him out the front door.
At the supermarket they argue over what soda to buy ("Coke!" "No way, dude - Pepsi. I thought you were cool?" "Fuck off.") and bitch about how companies keep bringing out 'New Improved Recipes' for chips that already rock. Some girls recognise Gerard and burst into an explosion of giggles. Gerard moves behind Patrick who steers them to the checkout before the girls can pluck up the courage to come and ask for photos and autographs and hugs. They argue over who pays until the checkout guy huffs with annoyance.
When they get back to Patrick's house Gerard unpacks while Patrick starts cooking ("You paid - I cook. Plus you burn reheated pizza...") and tries not to stare when Patrick takes off his hat and sets it aside.
****************************
Gerard gets up some time at the beginning of the third week, scratching the creases on his belly imprinted from the bedding. He knows that he should have a shower this morning but even the thought of it feels like too much effort. He trudges into the living room and finds Patrick with his feet up on the coffee table, playing Zelda. He hadn't even known that Patrick owned a console.
Patrick is wearing only a pair of boxers and a t-shirt making Gerard feel less self-conscious but still aware that he only has on some boxers himself. Not for the first time he kind of wishes he had spent more time grabbing clothes. No pajamas and only 3 pairs of underwear. He knows it's gross that he makes the three pairs last a week before doing laundry but it's him and it's Patrick and really, who cares?
He can always pick up more underwear and pajamas when they go out again.
Gerard drops onto the couch next to Patrick and puts his own feet up. No hat again. Gerard smiles. He drags over some paper and sketches random bits of the game while Patrick plays. Slowly he drifts from drawing into writing - noting out lyrics to maybe use for the next album.
He's got maybe 3 songs ideas half-written before he thinks about emailing them to Ray and feels sick. Patrick looks over at him and offers him the controller.
******************************
Gerard finally buys some pajamas and cheap black boxer-briefs on the day that he finally defeats the main boss in the Water Temple. Patrick jokes that he's buying underwear in celebration of not sucking at Zelda any more. Gerard knocks him into a display and runs off laughing as Patrick scowls, picking up Y-fronts off the floor.
When they get home Patrick takes his hat off and throws it on the couch, running his hands through his almost shoulder-length hair and dumping the bags on his hat. He's bitching about how Gerard has made him a girl who goes shopping for underwear. Gerard is going to remind him that they also bought comics and a Nintendo Wii but instead he slips a hand round the nape of Patrick's neck and kisses him. Patrick kisses back.
Patrick angles them toward the couch and pulls Gerard on top of him and they make out until Patrick stops and pushes Gerard off.
"Your fucking underwear is digging into my ass," Patrick complains. Gerard laughs and they kiss again. That night they both sleep in Patrick's bed, naked and exhausted.
Gerard never really goes back into the spare room.
******************************
Gerard sometimes goes into the music room with Patrick now.
("Dude - don't call it a music room, okay? It makes it sound like I live in some 1900s novel."
"Music hovel? Music sty?"
"Don't make me beat you to death with with my favourite guitar and bury you outside.")
Sometimes Gerard sings Fall Out Boy songs with Patrick and sometimes they sing his songs just to keep in practice. When they're singing "Blood" Patrick grins at him pointedly during "'Cause I'm such an awful fuck" and Gerard punches him on the arm.
Patrick takes Gerard's lyrics that are really all about being here, safe, and writes music for them. It's weird to be making songs and music this way. Patrick's way is so different to how he's used to it happening, but it's fun and they get to both sing and Gerard kisses Patrick every time he looks really hot with his guitar.
It's a slow writing process.
******************************
Gerard is sitting out in the garden, feet on one seat while he leans back on the other, when Patrick comes outside holding his phone and looking pale. Gerard has a cigarette half smoked held in one hand, biting his nails while he holds "Preacher: Salvation" in the other. He glances up at Patrick to smile.
The smiles drops when he sees Patrick's face.
"What?" He asks, but he already knows. He can feel his heart pounding.
"I'm sorry, dude..." Patrick says, rubbing the heal of his hand across his forehead as though he's rubbing away a hat-band mark. "...I didn't know that people would be - I didn't know I wasn't meant to tell anyone."
Patrick looks wretched and for a selfish second Gerard's glad, before he remembers that this is Patrick who has let him stay in his house for four weeks with no explanation and would wake him up with a blow job sometimes now.
Gerard swallows. "Frank?" He asks. Patrick nods.
"He's at the airport right now. His flight gets in to O'Hare in about 3 hours." Patrick was watching Gerard now. "I'm so sorry, man. Seriously. I knew there was something wrong, but I just mentioned you were here to Pete when he called and...just, no one had thought to ask me if I knew where you were and Pete said that they've been frantic..."
Gerard pushes up out of the chair, stomach dropping like a stone. He feels sick and trapped and just stands until he can't watch Patrick be worried anymore.
"It's okay," he tells Patrick, "You didn't know." Gerard kisses him and then walks into the house.
He thinks about leaving again but the duffle bag won't fit all of the new things he's bought. And he likes it here with Patrick. Running away meant running away from Patrick and there was the joint custody of the Wii to think about.
He end up lying down on Patrick's bed and tries to sleep. He remembers the first two weeks here when he slept probably too much, but every time he tries to get back to that he thinks of Patrick waiting for Frank to get here while Gerard sleeps. He pushes up off the bed and walks out to the living room where Patrick is sat looking slightly lost on the couch.
"Wanna bowl?" Gerard asks, wandering over to flick the power to the Wii on. He smiles a little at Patrick who smiles back.
***************************
When Frank arrives Gerard has almost forgotten that he's coming. Forgotten except for a gnawing in his stomach that he can't get rid of.
Patrick answers the door and Frank all but barges past him until he sees Gerard standing and waiting in the lounge.
"I'm so fucking sorry, man," Frank says, moving toward Gerard. "I'm so sorry." He shakes his head and Gerard's surprised to see that he's almost in tears. "I'm so sorry. So sorry. I'm such a fucking dickhead. We all are, really. I'm just..."
Gerard grins. He moves forward and hugs Frank who clings to him like he's going to run off again. Gerard's not going anywhere. He doesn't need to any more.
"It's okay," he tells Frank, into his hair. "Don't worry about it."
It feels so anticlimactic considering he ran half way across the country to avoid this. He can see Patrick watching, confused, and smiles at him. It really is all okay.
***************************
That night, while Frank is asleep in the spare room ("Uh - are these yours?" "Yeah, I used to sleep in here." "Used to?") and Gerard is spent and wrapped round Patrick, they talk.
"So are you ever going to tell me why you came here?" Patrick asks. Gerard huffs at him a little.
"You're ruining my afterglow." Gerard complains, knowing that he'll tell Patrick soon. Once he's asked if he can stay here and move in and mix all his shit with Patrick's. "I'm not telling you," he lies.
"'Cause you're such an awful fuck'?" Patrick asks, laughing. Gerard can't help the laughter that bursts out of him.
"Yeah," he agrees. "'I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love.'"
Patrick pulls him closer and Gerard thinks that he hears Patrick say "Yeah" really quietly under his breath.