The Nostalgia an Oak Tree Feels
Just got back from Newstead's prize giving.
I can't believe I considered staying in Spain to miss that. At all. And I can't believe I thought it was going to be alarmingly tedious.
I mean, as far as my (ex)school's award ceremonies go, I think it's safe to say it wasn't that boring. Last year I remember sitting feeling sick with anxiety (because it was THAT period in my life) and really needing the loo whilst loads of leavers went up to recieve their prizes. Being the current year 13 then, all we had to do was watch, which seemed rather pointless. And yes, it was incredibly boring that time around.
This time, it was different, in a way. The rush of exitement as I arrived at the school, seeing people I hadn't seen for ages (even though it seemed like yesterday when I last saw them), teachers, sitting down and watching as my friends received thier well deserved certificates, laughing silently at Mr. Parsons as he attempted and kind of failed at reading out names and universities (was he drunk or something? Oh well, I he was so much more bearable to hear than DLP) .
Nah, it wasn't really boring. In fact, I think it was quite memorable. In a Newsteadian way.
Afterwards, we all fought our way through the swarm of parents teachers and pupils/leavers to find our parents and go to the hall (because yeah, this time WE got to watch as the year 13's went home and we ate the biscuits!)
Talking to teachers was nice. Mr.Bennett gave us all hugs and kisses (and now I'm tearing up again), told us to keep in touch. He's retiring next year. I really can't imagine that man not teaching, because he loves our company (by 'our' I mean the students). He's so wonderfully odd ( a bit like Willy Wonka, actually. He asked us when he saw us if we heard him purring when our names where called out - but it's not dodgy or wierd coming from him.) I'm going to MISS him.
Then there was Mrs. Benson. I seriously don't know what I would have done without her sometimes. It wasn't as if I went to her when I was troubled ( well, I went to her when I was All Anxious at the end of Year 12 - and in year 9 to complain about Mme Thomas) - it was just knowing she was at school, sometimes. When I was at the end of year 12/beginning year 13 - which was, quite honestly, the most fucking awful time of my life - sometimes just knowing the woman was at school made me feel at ease. Knowing at I would have a lesson with her and not Fulford made me feel slightly better. She's one of those people who gives and gives and gives and asks for nothing in return, someone who makes people feel happier without even realising it.
I really hope I can be half of what she is one day.
Then friends - it was so nice to see everyone! And people whom I thought I wouldn't see again - Starzy, and Yan. It all seemed so natural, being there.
It finally hit me when we were in the car. Not at the leavers dinner. Not on leavers day. Not even on results day. When I got in the car, and realised 'hey, I'm not coming back here.' I cried. I'm still crying, so much, and scarily enough I don't remember crying this much ever.
I cried because I'd spent 7 years at a school which was awesome and crappy at the same time.
I cried because I remember the first day - that first journey to school, when I was only 11 and I was worrying about not having put my name on all my pencils.
I cried because as much as we all say it, it is impossible for EVERYONE to keep in touch.
I cried because I went through most of my time there putting the school on a pedestal, hating it at the end of year 12, and finally being able to see the good and the bad in it during the later part of year 13.
I cried because Mrs. Allen told me I was 'more than ready' to move on.
I cried because Mr.Bennett is retiring, and when he was dissappointed in me, it made me want to do better, and when he was happy with me, it made me feel really proud.
I cried because I almost made Mrs.Benson cry, and because she's been through loads of stuff, and still is able to smile everyday.
I cried because I will never be called 'SofYa' by Mrs.Sodegren again
I cried because I made the most brilliant of friendships with the best people ever.
I cried because I still remember when I met starfishyfish at the beginning of Year 10 in Miss Cava's chemistry lesson and asked her about her naruto keyring.
I cried because I still remember talking to Jenny in Maths for the first time, then getting to know Catherine, and us becoming inseperable during those lessons.
I cried because I met Emma in graphics when we were scared shitless by Mr.Harris.
I cried because I got to meet Alice, Emma T, Katie, Claire, Yan, Meera, Cheska, Hannah, calendair , strangledduck , Starzy and so many others.
Heh. Not bad for seven years, huh? It's been good, and it's been bad. There are some things I wish I could have changed, but in the end, they happened, and that's that. Now I've finished writing this, I feel lighter and happier.
I hope it goes well for all future pupils at Newstead.
Success
To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others;
to leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
Written by Ralph Waldo Emerson