Jun 14, 2005 15:37
Recently I have taken to asking friends and family members THE QUESTION. I think you know what I'm talking about here. It is that thing that keeps us awake at night pondering a proper answer and drives us to tears of rage when no clear solution is in sight. That question, dear readers, is: What would you do if you woke up one morning and found a muffin growing out of your head.
Surprisingly the most common answer I have received thus far is some variation of "eat it". To which I have no choice but to respond, aghast: "AND BLEED TO DEATH?!". For that is surely what would happen if you cut a large appendage off of yourself and, instead of calling the emergency room, sat down and ate it. But some people have major psychological issues I suppose. Anyway back to my muffin question.
The best answer I received was from my sister, Laura who suggests that the best course of action would be to wear a top hat over the muffin and decrease the size of the top hat, slowly introducing the muffin to the public. This is a very good idea in theory but a top hat would not be the right choice as it would either
A) Fit completely over the muffin, or
B) Fit on top of the muffin creating a very dapper but still very much a muffin...err....muffin. MUFFIN!!!!! Ahem. So a top hat would be a fairly bad idea but I do like the idea of gradually introducing your condition on the world. My question to all you drug crazed nazi transvestite prostitutes is how? Oh and if you haven't already answered the original question, please do that as well.
This is very important to me guys. I've been feeling this large bump on the top of my head getting bigger and bigger and, well, I fear the worst. Please lend your support and ideas so if it is, in fact, a muffin, I will know how to handel it. Muffin.