On Stuff
I went digging through my storage unit this morning, looking for items to toss on ebay. Botcon is the end of the month, and too many Major Issues in a row plus the Diamond thing mean I have not nearly enough saved towards it. I'll admit, I went into the year expecting that I'd also have a work bonus to put toward it and yeah, well. No dice. I'm at that point where I am seriously questioning by ability in regards to my job, but that isn't what I'm in the mood to write about right now.
I will say I am thinking about skipping Botcon next year, just because it seems that every year, Things Happen that make it more of a financial stress for me than an enjoyment.
Anyway- to my point.
I have a lot of stuff. When I moved last year, I was able to downsize to a storage unit half the size of the one I had, that is I went from a 10x10 to a 5x10. My apartment is stuffed to the gills (and still full of boxes, BTW), but I did manage that. Really, given that the unit goes up eight dollars every year, I need to seriously see if I can figure out getting out completely by this time next year. So it isn't just Botcon that prompted me to go digging through it.
Half of my unit is taken up by very large totes full of action figures. I believe there are between fifteen and twenty totes. Admittedly, these are almost all figures that are still in their boxes, and some of those boxes are very large. That's still a lot of figures. Also in the unit are mu holiday decorations and several expensive statues, as well as all my movie posters and such. In short, it's a bunch of random shines that once made me happy. I discovered today that most of them do still make me happy, even though I manged to cull about a tote and a half out of the unit to send away.
The problem comes down to this: I value these things enough that I have paid quite a bit of money to keep them in storage for nearly four years. Not that I ever intended to keep them in storage this long, of course.
Why do I keep these things? Stubbornness, I think. Also, my OCD problems. There are two totes full of Monsieur Bome figures. There are about three totes of Transformers, maybe four. There are three totes of McFarlene Dragons, and I'm still debating on them. The reason I still have them is that those would sell for so little as to be not worth my trouble, and I do like the sculpts on them quite a bit. Then there are the random imports, the amazing Lovecraft figures, my old school Ghost Rider Collection... so many things that made or make me smile. Really, it took me longer than it should to go through the unit because I kept pulling things out and grinning and gleeing over my stash. Of course, I packed it all up again and walked away, leaving it in boxes in the dark.
So why keep them for "later?" I get no real pleasure from these items when they are packed away. I've paid close to five grand over the past few years to keep my things in a safe, climate controlled storage. For what? So that one day, when I have a "real" home I can have those things out and look at them. Except that the things I have brought out of storage are still sitting in boxes or shoved to the side, because I don't take the time to live in my space rather than exist in it.
All of the above just to say I really need to reconsider the priority I give to stuff in my life. Knowing and doing are two different things, and I'm aware enough to know that a lot of the issue is the security I get from Stuff. Belongings have always been more constant in my life than People and ultimately have given me more pleasure and less pain. And I am an obsessive-compulsive who focuses her compulsions through collecting things. This is why I have three years of unread comic books in boxes, among other things, because I couldn't make myself stop buying even though I was no longer reading. I'm better about those things than I was, but it's still an issue.
I will say I am thinking about skipping Botcon next year, just because it seems that every year, Things Happen that make it more of a financial stress for me than an enjoyment.
Anyway- to my point.
I have a lot of stuff. When I moved last year, I was able to downsize to a storage unit half the size of the one I had, that is I went from a 10x10 to a 5x10. My apartment is stuffed to the gills (and still full of boxes, BTW), but I did manage that. Really, given that the unit goes up eight dollars every year, I need to seriously see if I can figure out getting out completely by this time next year. So it isn't just Botcon that prompted me to go digging through it.
Half of my unit is taken up by very large totes full of action figures. I believe there are between fifteen and twenty totes. Admittedly, these are almost all figures that are still in their boxes, and some of those boxes are very large. That's still a lot of figures. Also in the unit are mu holiday decorations and several expensive statues, as well as all my movie posters and such. In short, it's a bunch of random shines that once made me happy. I discovered today that most of them do still make me happy, even though I manged to cull about a tote and a half out of the unit to send away.
The problem comes down to this: I value these things enough that I have paid quite a bit of money to keep them in storage for nearly four years. Not that I ever intended to keep them in storage this long, of course.
Why do I keep these things? Stubbornness, I think. Also, my OCD problems. There are two totes full of Monsieur Bome figures. There are about three totes of Transformers, maybe four. There are three totes of McFarlene Dragons, and I'm still debating on them. The reason I still have them is that those would sell for so little as to be not worth my trouble, and I do like the sculpts on them quite a bit. Then there are the random imports, the amazing Lovecraft figures, my old school Ghost Rider Collection... so many things that made or make me smile. Really, it took me longer than it should to go through the unit because I kept pulling things out and grinning and gleeing over my stash. Of course, I packed it all up again and walked away, leaving it in boxes in the dark.
So why keep them for "later?" I get no real pleasure from these items when they are packed away. I've paid close to five grand over the past few years to keep my things in a safe, climate controlled storage. For what? So that one day, when I have a "real" home I can have those things out and look at them. Except that the things I have brought out of storage are still sitting in boxes or shoved to the side, because I don't take the time to live in my space rather than exist in it.
All of the above just to say I really need to reconsider the priority I give to stuff in my life. Knowing and doing are two different things, and I'm aware enough to know that a lot of the issue is the security I get from Stuff. Belongings have always been more constant in my life than People and ultimately have given me more pleasure and less pain. And I am an obsessive-compulsive who focuses her compulsions through collecting things. This is why I have three years of unread comic books in boxes, among other things, because I couldn't make myself stop buying even though I was no longer reading. I'm better about those things than I was, but it's still an issue.