Feb 18, 2012 09:28
Goyle passed on last night. At least I was more prepared for this. He was an old cat, right at fifteen years old. I can't help but feel responsible though. He'd been losing weight and I had scheduled a vet appointment for him on the day Yin died. Obviously, I didn't make that appointment, and since he seemed to be eating and putting weight back on after, I didn't try and rush it.
He was not doing well at all when I woke up yesterday morning. He was very lethargic. I took him in and he was severely dehydrated, so much so that they couldn't take blood. Lab work came back that he had a severe UTI. However, the hope was that we could take care of it with antibiotics, and he was responding well to fluid therapy. He had eaten something as well, which was good.
He did not make it through the night, however. I can't help but feel if I'd gone ahead and taken him in the day Yin died, he might have survived. I'll add this to my shoulda woulda coulda pile of life failures, I guess.
It hurts. It doesn't hurt as sharply as Yin death. Partly, this is because Yin was my favorite baby. Partly this is because I felt in my heart that when I took Goyle in yesterday, that I would not bring him home again. I hoped I would, but I did not believe I would. So I was prepared for this.
So it's just me and my old man Pepper now. He's thirteen. I think he knew Goyle wasn't coming back, too, based on how he acted last night. I don't know if I'll get another cat again while he's living or not. I'm so used to having multiple balls of fur to snuggle with.
goyle,
thoughts from a delirious mind,
loss