Déjà Vu 01./08. // yunjae
déjà vu 01.
yunjae
angst, fluff and basically everything in between
PG to R
Jaejoong is determined not to make the same mistake twice. Not with the same man, at least. Though fate thinks otherwise and when Yunho makes a spectacular reappearance in his life, Jaejoong learns that his ex-boyfriend not only did leave his heart broken but also his self-esteem was torn to pieces. Time to take revenge.
Chapter 1
“Yunho,” Jaejoong whispered again, whishing he could say something else but that seemed quite impossible at the moment. In front of him stood the man he had been craving to see for two years, dreaming of him and calling him in his sleep. Not a single day passed without him not wishing he could turn back time and make things undone. Not a single minute without trying to figure out what he should have done to save their relationship. And not a second without blaming himself and cursing Yunho for leaving him like that, miserable and lonely.
And Yunho was there now, with a mocking smirk on his lips, looking at him with scrutinizing eyes. The tinge of familiarity danced in his look that made Jaejoong's heart ache with desire to step closer and touch him. He just craved for a brush of hands or a stroke of fingers, a warm palm on his cheek or a slight touch on his shoulder, anything but the distance between him and Yunho after those agonizing two years.
“That's what I call an interesting coincidence,” Yunho's voice shook him out of his thoughts and Jaejoong's stomach turned into a knot at hearing the well-known voice as if it was yesterday Yunho talked to him like that.
Jaejoong wanted to answer something which made some sense but his tongue was numb and he couldn't do anything else than staring at the other figure, still not recovering from the shock.
Yunho was still handsome. No, he was hot, much prettier than before, dressed fashionably and his every move reflected calmness and confidence. That was what wasn't familiar to Jaejoong at all. Yunho had changed.
“Come on, Jaejoong, say something. Are you not happy to see me?” Yunho teased, his smirk growing wider as he folded his arms in front of his chest, waiting for a reaction.
Jaejoong swallowed hard. “What are you doing here?”
Yunho chuckled. “You're still slow, I see. I bought these apartments and I'm moving in,” he stated the obvious and stepped closer, making Jaejoong shudder as the scent of Yunho's cologne filled his nostrils. “You didn't become any smarter, Jaejoongie.”
The older man flinched at the nickname and the coldness in the other's voice, slowly returning to his senses as anger crawled up in him and cut through his clouded mind. His fingers curled in and clenched into fists.
“Why?” That was all he managed as he was staring at Yunho's smiling face. “Why... after what happened...”
“Oh,” Yunho exclaimed, cuting off Jaejoong's words, faking a surprised expression. “You're still thinking about that? Has no one told you that it's useless crying over the past?”
It hurt. Jaejoong tried to calm his furiously beating heart but failed.
Yunho didn't seem to notice that his words were like punches in the gut to Jaejoong. “Look, Jaejoong,” Yunho leaned closer, so close that the older man was sure if Yunho took one more step he could feel his breath on his face. “I'm sorry to hurt your manly pride but get over it, okay? You're not that special nor particularly pretty so don't expect me to mourn over our messed up relationship forever. I've gotten over it so I suggest you to do the same.”
Jaejoong's mind went blank. If Yunho's words weren't making him so angry, he knew he would have died of shame but there was no way he gave the chance to Yunho to see how much he felt hurt by what he said.
He clenched his jaw and looked at Yunho in the eyes without blinking. “I'm not crying over you, Yunho,” he hissed. “The happiest day of my life was when you walked out of the door and I thought I got rid of you forever, you bastard.”
With that, Jaejoong turned on his heels and flung his own door open, slamming it shut with such a force that the window glass rattled in its frame.
Leaning on the door, Jaejoong pressed his palm on its heart and tried to calm his breathing. He could feel his cheeks burning as he shut his eyes closed, resting his head on the cold wood. His nails were digging painfully into his palms as his fist were clenched with full strength.
Yunho's words echoed in his ears. He couldn't believe what the other said. Through the pain and the feeling of hurt, his self-esteem was shattered by those comments. Not that special? Not pretty? He was not chased by guys without a reason, dammit. It couldn't be a coincidence that he could barely step into a pub or any kind of public place without feeling hungry pairs of eyes on him. Even if they all wanted nothing more than his body, the only thing Jaejoong knew for sure that he was still desired and yearned for. What the hell was Yunho saying?
He slowly turned his head and stared at the wall, knowing that Yunho was on the other side of it. His lips pursed into a thin line. “Just wait, Yunho, I'm going to prove you wrong. I'm going to make your life a living hell.”
~ // ~
The next days passed the same way. Jaejoong didn't sleep too much, his head full of questions and plans for which he cursed himself every now and then but couldn't stop himself. Yunho's humiliating remarks kept circling in his head and even though Jaejoong knew that the best tactic would be just ignore the other and finally, finally move on, the wound was too deep to let it go without revenge.
The only occasion Jaejoong's face lit up with a genuine smile the following days, was when his new plan finally took shape in his head and his mind wandered far away, images unwillingly popping up in front of his eyes; images of Yunho's face when he eventually realized what a fool he was for leaving him like that.
“This has to be working,” Jaejoong muttered to himself as he inched closer to his window and looked down, watching Yunho get in his enormous Hyundai and drive off. Then he glanced at his watch. 7.30 am.
Jaejoong nodded to himself. It didn't even take him a week to get familiar with Yunho's schedule. The younger man left his apartment at 7.30 every morning, got back at 6.00 pm, then he left again within a half an hour to spend an hour or so in the gym, judging by the huge sport bag he was carrying. Then he arrived at home at 8.00 pm and never went out after that.
Okay, that wasn't so difficult so far. But Jaejoong still didn't have the slightest idea of what Yunho's job might be. Last time he checked, his ex-lover was still a poor journalist, writing articles for catalogues of travel agencies and travel books. That was how they had met five years ago and Jaejoong didn't know Yunho had ambitions to climb higher on the social ladder. Yunho had been doing his job with enthusiasm and Jaejoong was convinced that travelling around the world was all Yunho wanted.
They met in Italy. Jaejoong was an unemployed photographer at that time and Yunho was sent to Rome by a small agency to make a photobook of the famous monuments of the city. Jaejoong glimpsed Yunho standing in front of the Spanish Steps, trying to angle his poor camera to take a decent picture, making some ridiculous attempts to cover his lack of professionalism at photography.
Yunho looked so miserable back then that Jaejoong found himself tapping on the other's shoulder, introducing himself and showing his own photos, offering him to take whichever he wanted.
The other man was rather speechless as he stared at the perfect pictures, amazed. They started talking, sharing experiences and photos and Jaejoong was just as impressed by Yunho's writings as the other was by Jaejoong's expertness.
They ended up working together at the photobook and Yunho convinced the agency to hire Jaejoong as a professional photographer. That was how their story started. They made a perfect couple, they became friends before they even realized and worked in harmony, travelling from one place to another, being together 24/7, sharing hotel rooms and meals and hardly aware of their growing affection towards one another.
From time to time, they got back to Seoul and ended up renting an apartment together. The place they called home and where their relationship took a wonderful start. Then they travelled again, visiting the most beautiful and unique places all over the planet. It was as if they were on a honeymoon for years.
They had never been rich and they didn't mind it the least, their life was beautiful and they were together. They never cared about money and power.
And only in two years, Yunho changed that much. What should one do to earn enough money within two years to buy all the apartments of two floors? To have such a huge car? To dress so fashionably?
Jaejoong was sure Yunho had started his own business, of which nature, Jaejoong had no idea. But he supposed Yunho was the boss there, enough thinking about the aura his ex-boyfriend was emenating.
As painful as it was to watch those changes, Jaejoong had to admit that some of them had stronger effect on him than he was willing to admit. Yunho became extremely handsome. Not that he wasn't before, but something was different in his appearance that Jaejoong couldn't put his finger on yet. It was obvious Yunho cared about his body, he went to the gym every day after all and the muscles were much more visible than ever. He looked healthy, strong and powerful but there was something about his face which bothered Jaejoong. About his eyes, more precisely.
Jaejoong was curious about this new Yunho, he couldn't deny it. For him to accept that someone he knew so well had changed that much was not easy. He felt betrayed, Yunho's attitude just adding more pain to the bitter feelings he had about the past. Jaejoong was sure he was ready to let him go and not allow himself to get emotionally involved with Yunho again, but what the man said to him the first day, pissed him off to no end.
And that was when Jaejoong was ready to take his revenge.
~ // ~
Jaejoong tilted his head to allow the other to have more access to his neck. A sharp bite made him hiss but his hands pulled the man's head closer to himself by the nape as he peeked over the man's shoulder.
“Your place is here, right? Why don't you show me your bedroom already?” the man's lustful tone made Jaejoong's stomach clench uncomfortably, impatience was evident in the other's voice.
“Just... just a minute, okay?” he managed to mutter as he felt the tongue lick a path on his neck up to his earlobe.
“I want to fuck you so badly,” the man said in a voice which he hoped to sound like a husky whisper but Jaejoong didn't find it arousing at all. He pressed his back into the cold wall of the building and looked around, hoping to avoid attention. He was making out with someone on the street for God's sake. He didn't like the idea but he was willing to make sacrifices to get what he wanted.
Suddenly, he gasped and pulled the guy over himself as the black Hyundai passed them, Jaejoong hiding behind the taller form. As the car turned and disappeared behind the gate, Jaejoong grabbed the man's hand and dragged him inside and up the stairs.
From time to time, Jaejoong stopped and pulled the man closer to himself violently, kissing him hard on the lips. The man's response was eager, his arousal obvious and Jaejoong just kept praying for patience to himself to get through with it.
They almost reached Jaejoong's door when footsteps echoed behind them, fast approaching. Jaejoong pushed the other to the door and kissed him again, tangling his fingers with the messy locks and closed his eyes, pretending to be into the kiss so much to even notice anything around him.
The footsteps stopped when they were close enough and Jaejoong could literally feel eyes burning holes into his back. Yunho's presence was so strong that Jaejoong was forced to stop playing his role for a minute and step away from the other guy.
Slowly turning his head, Jaejoong looked at the direction from where he could feel Yunho's scrutinizing gaze and their eyes locked. Yunho's expression was unreadable, a mask of stone, void of emotions, he didn't even look embarrassed by the scene he witnessed just now.
Jaejoong could feel his face flush, disappointment washed over him instead of satisfaction and he quickly tore his gaze away from Yunho and fumbled with his keys, opening the door as fast as he could. Then he yanked the guy inside and slammed the door behind them, panting heavily.
Closing his eyes for a moment, he wondered what Yunho might think, if Jaejoong could even consider this episode a succes in his plans. He needed to think about it, he needed to clear his mind.
The other guy, being oblivious to Jaejoong's inner struggles, launched himself at the smaller form and tried to pull his shirt down his shoulders. Jaejoong snapped out of his trance and stiffened. He felt disgusted by every single touch.
“W-wait,” he mumbled, trying to gently push the other away and put some distance between them. “Wait.”
“What for?” the guy muffled his voice into his neck and Jaejoong's face screwed up into a grimace.
“You want something to drink?” he blurted out nervously, hoping that he could earn some time.
“I want you,” the man pressed his body to Jaejoong's, hands cupping his butt, grinding his erection to the other's groin.
And that was when Jaejoong couldn't take it anymore and pushed the man away forcefully, making him stumble backwards, being caught off-guard by the movement.
“What the-”
“I'm sorry,” Jaejoong breathed out. “I'm sorry, I don't feel really well, what if we drink something?” He offered, trying to calm the other man down, because the anger that took over the surprise, was something Jaejoong didn't want to deal with. The original plan was to bring the guy into the apartment after making sure Yunho would see them, then offering some drink to make him stay for an hour or so and finally find some excuse to kick him out.
It didn't really go as planned and Jaejoong was starting to get desperate, while the guy was even more furious. His wrist was caught in a painful grip and Jaejoong's breath became laboured, terror sweeping through his body as he was pressed to the wall by the other.
“Please, I really don't feel well. Just go away, okay?” he hoped the guy wouldn't get any more aggressive and just leave. It didn't matter anymore if his plans were not working but he was scared shitless now that the man would rape him and Jaejoong knew that he didn't have a chance against him. The other was taller and stronger and on top of that, angry too.
For a brief moment, Jaejoong wondered if Yunho would come to his aid if he screamed.
He chose the other way though. “Please, I'm sorry but.. I really feel sick,” he pleaded as the man grabbed a fistful of his hair, breathing into his ear heavily. Jaejoong held his breath when the man tensed.
Then the heat of the other's body left him and the man took a step away. “Stupid bitch,” he hissed as he turned around and flung the door open. “Fuck you,” he grumbled and slammed the door loudly, leaving Jaejoong alone, standing, with his back still pressed to the wall, his breathing ragged.
He put his palm over his heart and closed his eyes. “Shit, that was scary.”
He never thought his plan could backfire that much. It was okay if he didn't manage to evoke any reaction from Yunho; it was not surprising because he was determined to take the risk all over and over again, bringing other guys home and making sure Yunho would see them so sooner or later the younger man must give some kind of reaction.
That was even worse though. He almost got raped and there was no way Yunho didn't hear the loud noise as the guy slammed his door shut.
Just why the hell weren't things going as Jaejoong imagined?
~ // ~
Giving up was not an option though. Every time Jaejoong thought of Yunho's almighty attitude, he could feel his blood boil.
He wanted to get through with his plan, no matter what.
Next time, Jaejoong was careful to choose a guy. The man at the other table looked handsome, a bit shy and harmless. Perfect target.
It didn't take Jaejoong an hour and they were already heading to his apartment. The guy was not pushy, but made it clear how much he liked Jaejoong. After an awkward start and a lot of stuttering, the man didn't stop talking. If it was under different circumstances, Jaejoong would even enjoy his complany.
When they reached the building, Jaejoong stopped dead in his tracks. Yunho's black Hyundai was parked right in front of the gate, though there wasn't any sign of the taller man around.
“Something's wrong?” the guy asked him, blinking at Jaejoong curiously.
Jaejoong shook his head and bit his lips, thinking. Then he heard footsteps and his heart slammed against his chest at recognizing them. He suddenly grabbed the guy's shoulders and pushed him against the car, pressing his body to his. Then cupped the other's face and kissed him. He could feel the other's body tensing, the whole action must have caught him as surprise as he let out a gasp, hesitantly resting his hand on Jaejoong's hips.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
They both jumped at the yell, Jaejoong shakily turned around to face a very pissed off Yunho. He inhaled deeply to regain composure. “Excuse me?”
With a few huge steps, Yunho approached them and stopped in front of Jaejoong, his eyes was burning in rage. “What the fuck are you doing on my car?”
Jaejoong wanted to smirk at the other's angry voice but he held himself back and faked a surprised expression. “Oh, oops, I didn't know it was yours,” he said, glad that his voice didn't betray him and managed to finish the sentence without stuttering.
Yunho's reaction was nothing like Jaejoong had expected. His lips curled into a smile, his anger controlled and hidden under a twinkle of his eyes. “If I ever notice as much as a scratch on my car, I make you pay for it, Jaejoong.”
With that, Yunho walked around and lazily tossed his shades up his nose, but not before he gave a wink at the other guy. Then he got in and drove off.
Jaejoong stood there, looking after the car as it turned around the corner, frozen.
The other man cleared his throat to get his attention and when he did, Jaejoong looked at him blankly. When Jaejoong didn't offer any explanation, nor did he make any move towards him, the man narrowed his eyes in suspicion.
“Who was this guy?”
Jaejoong sighed and shook his head. “My neighbor.”
“Really?” The man sounded skeptical and Jaejoong felt like shit for lying to him and using him like that. He really seemed to be a nice person.
“Okay, it's not my business but,” the guy paused and smiled at Jaejoong without any sign of anger on his face. “it's pretty obvious to me that you're not interested in me that way.”
Jaejoong sighed again, lowering his head. “I'm sorry.”
“Don't be. Look, I don't want to force myself on you, though I really like you. But I'm not the person who will have his way without the other's consent.”
Jaejoong looked up at him, feeling somewhat grateful.
“You know what?” the guy dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out a card, handing it to Jaejoong. “If you need some company or just want to talk, call me. My name is Yoochun, by the way.”
Jaejoong hesitantly reached after the card and put it into his pocket. “Mine is...”
“Jaejoong,” Yoochun finished for him and let out a chuckle. “I heard that.”
Jaejoong couldn't stop himself from smiling back, this man somehow calmed him and he was amazed that Yoochun was still being so nice to him after what happened. “I'm sorry about that.”
“I told you to stop apologizing. Just call me, we could meet up for a coffee or a beer,” he smiled and turned around as Jaejoong nodded, satisfied with the answer.
~ // ~
The next morning Jaejoong woke up early, it was still dark. He was somehow restless, not knowing exactly what was bothering him but he knew the best way to put his mind at ease. He grabbed his camera and left to a place he hadn't seen for almost two years now.
When he arrived at the little park, the sun was rising at the horizon, painting the trees above orange and white. Jaejoong loved this sight before and there was one reason for that. It was his favorite place in Seoul. His and Yunho's.
He raised his camera and clicked it a couple of times, soon being lost in the familiar sight and feeling. There was noone around him but the chirping birds and the soft murmurs of the wind, it was peaceful and nostalgic. Jaejoong's throat became dry as he remembered how they used to sit on a bench, Yunho's arms around his shoulder, his breaths brushing his neck, whispering sweet words into his ears.
The sun finally rose up fully above the horizon, spreading its rays all over and Jaejoong closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling as they carressed his cheeks. Then he felt something strange, rather than hear it, but the feeling was so strong that it made him open his eyes and look around.
And he saw him. Yunho. The other man didn't notice him as he crossed the park with huge steps, apparently deep in thoughts. Jaejoong's heart leaped and he quickly stepped away, hiding behind a tree, almost dropping his camera.
Then he peeked out and caught a glimpse of Yunho's back retreating from his sight as the man exited the park and disappeared.
What was he doing here?
~ // ~
A few more days and Jaejoong thought he was going crazy. Nothing seemed to be a good idea anymore. He realized he was hurting more than he should be while Yunho was obviously unaffected by all his attempts to make him... jealous? No that was not the word. Why the hell would he want to make Yunho jealous? He just wanted to show him he was wrong when he said that Jaejoong was not special and not pretty. That he was wrong when he had left him.
Struggling with himself for another couple of days, Jaejoong finally took a deep breath and called Yoochun.
The other man immediately agreed to meet Jaejoong and there he was, Yoochun sitting in Jaejoong's apartment, sipping his coffee and looking at the other with a playful smile on his face.
“So, did you call me to watch you sitting there in silence, or you actually have something to say?”
His voice was gentle and it was obvious he was joking but it made Jaejoong blush hard. As if it wasn't embarrassed enough already.
“Err... well, I'd like to ask you a favor but... I don't know. It's too much to ask and I'm not sure...”
“Just blurt it out,” Yoochun cut him off, taking another sip.
“O-okay,” Jaejoong stuttered, looking at his hands. “I'd like to ask you... to pretend to be my boyfriend.”
Yoochun almost choked on his coffee and looked up with wide eyes. “Did you just say what I heard you say?”
Jaejoong bit on his lower lip. “I think so.”
After a minute of complete silence, Yoochun sighed and place his cup on the table. “Does it have to do something with your... neighbor?”
The way he uttered the last word didn't go unnoticed by Jaejoong and he let out a sigh in defeat. “Maybe.”
“Who is he?”
Jaejoong thought about it for a second before he decided to tell everything to Yoochun. When he started to speak, his voice was quiet and uncertain, this being the first time he was telling the story to anyone and Jaejoong surprised even himself that he could speak so freely with a stranger. But talking to Yoochun didn't feel so weird and before Jaejoong knew, he ended up telling the whole story.
Yoochun didn't interrupt him, not even once and when Jaejoong finished, he only nodded and looked at the older man with a serious expression. “Do you still love him?”
Jaejoong could feel his stomach twist at hearing the question. He shook his head and the answer came a bit too fast. “No. Not at all. I hate him.”
Yoochun just raised an eyebrow but didn't answer to that; instead he changed the subject. “Okay, I'm in.”
“Huh?”
“I'm going to be your 'boyfriend' if that's what you want,” he said, putting an emphasis on the word, smiling at Jaejoong's shocked expression.
“Really? But I don't know how to...”
“Don't worry about it, it's fine with me. And maybe we can be friends, Jaejoong,” Yoochun smiled and Jaejoong couldn't help but agree.
“Thank you, Yoochun.”
“You're welcome,” Yoochun glanced at his watch. “I'm late for an appointment, I have to go now.”
“Sure,” Jaejoong nodded and walked the other to the door, opening it slowly. “Thanks again.”
Yoochun stepped out then suddenly turned around and leaning in, he pressed his lips to Jaejoong's who muffled a whimper and a cry of surprise. He was about to protest when Yoochun pulled away and gave sight of Yunho who was standing in front of his door, leaning on the door frame with an amused smile on his face.
In his head, Jaejoong quickly thanked Yoochun for the brilliant act and fast reaction but the next moment he froze as Yunho pushed the sport bag up on his shoulder and made his way to the couple with lazy steps, his smile never fading on his face.
Yoochun turned to him with a curious expression on his face, standing right between the two men as Yunho stopped in front of him and roamed his eyes over his body. Jaejoong held his breath.
Then Yunho leaned forward, his lips slightly brushing Yoochun's ear and his eyes looking straight at Jaejoong over the other's shoulder.
“Here's my number,” Yunho whispered huskily, making both Yoochun and Jaejoong shiver, “Call me if you get bored of him,” he pulled away and gave Yoochun a smirk. “You're cute.”
Just as Yoochun's face turned bright red, Jaejoong's became white as sheet and Yunho chuckled at both of their faces before he turned away to walk down the stairs.
Jaejoong's fists clenched as his face turned from pale to red in anger. He couldn't believe what had just happened. How could Yunho turn any kind of situation to his advantage and humiliate him every time? Pursing his lips, he banged his fist hard against his door. Jung Yunho, you bastard. I hate you! I hate you so much.
02.>>
yunjae
angst, fluff and basically everything in between
PG to R
Jaejoong is determined not to make the same mistake twice. Not with the same man, at least. Though fate thinks otherwise and when Yunho makes a spectacular reappearance in his life, Jaejoong learns that his ex-boyfriend not only did leave his heart broken but also his self-esteem was torn to pieces. Time to take revenge.
Chapter 1
“Yunho,” Jaejoong whispered again, whishing he could say something else but that seemed quite impossible at the moment. In front of him stood the man he had been craving to see for two years, dreaming of him and calling him in his sleep. Not a single day passed without him not wishing he could turn back time and make things undone. Not a single minute without trying to figure out what he should have done to save their relationship. And not a second without blaming himself and cursing Yunho for leaving him like that, miserable and lonely.
And Yunho was there now, with a mocking smirk on his lips, looking at him with scrutinizing eyes. The tinge of familiarity danced in his look that made Jaejoong's heart ache with desire to step closer and touch him. He just craved for a brush of hands or a stroke of fingers, a warm palm on his cheek or a slight touch on his shoulder, anything but the distance between him and Yunho after those agonizing two years.
“That's what I call an interesting coincidence,” Yunho's voice shook him out of his thoughts and Jaejoong's stomach turned into a knot at hearing the well-known voice as if it was yesterday Yunho talked to him like that.
Jaejoong wanted to answer something which made some sense but his tongue was numb and he couldn't do anything else than staring at the other figure, still not recovering from the shock.
Yunho was still handsome. No, he was hot, much prettier than before, dressed fashionably and his every move reflected calmness and confidence. That was what wasn't familiar to Jaejoong at all. Yunho had changed.
“Come on, Jaejoong, say something. Are you not happy to see me?” Yunho teased, his smirk growing wider as he folded his arms in front of his chest, waiting for a reaction.
Jaejoong swallowed hard. “What are you doing here?”
Yunho chuckled. “You're still slow, I see. I bought these apartments and I'm moving in,” he stated the obvious and stepped closer, making Jaejoong shudder as the scent of Yunho's cologne filled his nostrils. “You didn't become any smarter, Jaejoongie.”
The older man flinched at the nickname and the coldness in the other's voice, slowly returning to his senses as anger crawled up in him and cut through his clouded mind. His fingers curled in and clenched into fists.
“Why?” That was all he managed as he was staring at Yunho's smiling face. “Why... after what happened...”
“Oh,” Yunho exclaimed, cuting off Jaejoong's words, faking a surprised expression. “You're still thinking about that? Has no one told you that it's useless crying over the past?”
It hurt. Jaejoong tried to calm his furiously beating heart but failed.
Yunho didn't seem to notice that his words were like punches in the gut to Jaejoong. “Look, Jaejoong,” Yunho leaned closer, so close that the older man was sure if Yunho took one more step he could feel his breath on his face. “I'm sorry to hurt your manly pride but get over it, okay? You're not that special nor particularly pretty so don't expect me to mourn over our messed up relationship forever. I've gotten over it so I suggest you to do the same.”
Jaejoong's mind went blank. If Yunho's words weren't making him so angry, he knew he would have died of shame but there was no way he gave the chance to Yunho to see how much he felt hurt by what he said.
He clenched his jaw and looked at Yunho in the eyes without blinking. “I'm not crying over you, Yunho,” he hissed. “The happiest day of my life was when you walked out of the door and I thought I got rid of you forever, you bastard.”
With that, Jaejoong turned on his heels and flung his own door open, slamming it shut with such a force that the window glass rattled in its frame.
Leaning on the door, Jaejoong pressed his palm on its heart and tried to calm his breathing. He could feel his cheeks burning as he shut his eyes closed, resting his head on the cold wood. His nails were digging painfully into his palms as his fist were clenched with full strength.
Yunho's words echoed in his ears. He couldn't believe what the other said. Through the pain and the feeling of hurt, his self-esteem was shattered by those comments. Not that special? Not pretty? He was not chased by guys without a reason, dammit. It couldn't be a coincidence that he could barely step into a pub or any kind of public place without feeling hungry pairs of eyes on him. Even if they all wanted nothing more than his body, the only thing Jaejoong knew for sure that he was still desired and yearned for. What the hell was Yunho saying?
He slowly turned his head and stared at the wall, knowing that Yunho was on the other side of it. His lips pursed into a thin line. “Just wait, Yunho, I'm going to prove you wrong. I'm going to make your life a living hell.”
~ // ~
The next days passed the same way. Jaejoong didn't sleep too much, his head full of questions and plans for which he cursed himself every now and then but couldn't stop himself. Yunho's humiliating remarks kept circling in his head and even though Jaejoong knew that the best tactic would be just ignore the other and finally, finally move on, the wound was too deep to let it go without revenge.
The only occasion Jaejoong's face lit up with a genuine smile the following days, was when his new plan finally took shape in his head and his mind wandered far away, images unwillingly popping up in front of his eyes; images of Yunho's face when he eventually realized what a fool he was for leaving him like that.
“This has to be working,” Jaejoong muttered to himself as he inched closer to his window and looked down, watching Yunho get in his enormous Hyundai and drive off. Then he glanced at his watch. 7.30 am.
Jaejoong nodded to himself. It didn't even take him a week to get familiar with Yunho's schedule. The younger man left his apartment at 7.30 every morning, got back at 6.00 pm, then he left again within a half an hour to spend an hour or so in the gym, judging by the huge sport bag he was carrying. Then he arrived at home at 8.00 pm and never went out after that.
Okay, that wasn't so difficult so far. But Jaejoong still didn't have the slightest idea of what Yunho's job might be. Last time he checked, his ex-lover was still a poor journalist, writing articles for catalogues of travel agencies and travel books. That was how they had met five years ago and Jaejoong didn't know Yunho had ambitions to climb higher on the social ladder. Yunho had been doing his job with enthusiasm and Jaejoong was convinced that travelling around the world was all Yunho wanted.
They met in Italy. Jaejoong was an unemployed photographer at that time and Yunho was sent to Rome by a small agency to make a photobook of the famous monuments of the city. Jaejoong glimpsed Yunho standing in front of the Spanish Steps, trying to angle his poor camera to take a decent picture, making some ridiculous attempts to cover his lack of professionalism at photography.
Yunho looked so miserable back then that Jaejoong found himself tapping on the other's shoulder, introducing himself and showing his own photos, offering him to take whichever he wanted.
The other man was rather speechless as he stared at the perfect pictures, amazed. They started talking, sharing experiences and photos and Jaejoong was just as impressed by Yunho's writings as the other was by Jaejoong's expertness.
They ended up working together at the photobook and Yunho convinced the agency to hire Jaejoong as a professional photographer. That was how their story started. They made a perfect couple, they became friends before they even realized and worked in harmony, travelling from one place to another, being together 24/7, sharing hotel rooms and meals and hardly aware of their growing affection towards one another.
From time to time, they got back to Seoul and ended up renting an apartment together. The place they called home and where their relationship took a wonderful start. Then they travelled again, visiting the most beautiful and unique places all over the planet. It was as if they were on a honeymoon for years.
They had never been rich and they didn't mind it the least, their life was beautiful and they were together. They never cared about money and power.
And only in two years, Yunho changed that much. What should one do to earn enough money within two years to buy all the apartments of two floors? To have such a huge car? To dress so fashionably?
Jaejoong was sure Yunho had started his own business, of which nature, Jaejoong had no idea. But he supposed Yunho was the boss there, enough thinking about the aura his ex-boyfriend was emenating.
As painful as it was to watch those changes, Jaejoong had to admit that some of them had stronger effect on him than he was willing to admit. Yunho became extremely handsome. Not that he wasn't before, but something was different in his appearance that Jaejoong couldn't put his finger on yet. It was obvious Yunho cared about his body, he went to the gym every day after all and the muscles were much more visible than ever. He looked healthy, strong and powerful but there was something about his face which bothered Jaejoong. About his eyes, more precisely.
Jaejoong was curious about this new Yunho, he couldn't deny it. For him to accept that someone he knew so well had changed that much was not easy. He felt betrayed, Yunho's attitude just adding more pain to the bitter feelings he had about the past. Jaejoong was sure he was ready to let him go and not allow himself to get emotionally involved with Yunho again, but what the man said to him the first day, pissed him off to no end.
And that was when Jaejoong was ready to take his revenge.
~ // ~
Jaejoong tilted his head to allow the other to have more access to his neck. A sharp bite made him hiss but his hands pulled the man's head closer to himself by the nape as he peeked over the man's shoulder.
“Your place is here, right? Why don't you show me your bedroom already?” the man's lustful tone made Jaejoong's stomach clench uncomfortably, impatience was evident in the other's voice.
“Just... just a minute, okay?” he managed to mutter as he felt the tongue lick a path on his neck up to his earlobe.
“I want to fuck you so badly,” the man said in a voice which he hoped to sound like a husky whisper but Jaejoong didn't find it arousing at all. He pressed his back into the cold wall of the building and looked around, hoping to avoid attention. He was making out with someone on the street for God's sake. He didn't like the idea but he was willing to make sacrifices to get what he wanted.
Suddenly, he gasped and pulled the guy over himself as the black Hyundai passed them, Jaejoong hiding behind the taller form. As the car turned and disappeared behind the gate, Jaejoong grabbed the man's hand and dragged him inside and up the stairs.
From time to time, Jaejoong stopped and pulled the man closer to himself violently, kissing him hard on the lips. The man's response was eager, his arousal obvious and Jaejoong just kept praying for patience to himself to get through with it.
They almost reached Jaejoong's door when footsteps echoed behind them, fast approaching. Jaejoong pushed the other to the door and kissed him again, tangling his fingers with the messy locks and closed his eyes, pretending to be into the kiss so much to even notice anything around him.
The footsteps stopped when they were close enough and Jaejoong could literally feel eyes burning holes into his back. Yunho's presence was so strong that Jaejoong was forced to stop playing his role for a minute and step away from the other guy.
Slowly turning his head, Jaejoong looked at the direction from where he could feel Yunho's scrutinizing gaze and their eyes locked. Yunho's expression was unreadable, a mask of stone, void of emotions, he didn't even look embarrassed by the scene he witnessed just now.
Jaejoong could feel his face flush, disappointment washed over him instead of satisfaction and he quickly tore his gaze away from Yunho and fumbled with his keys, opening the door as fast as he could. Then he yanked the guy inside and slammed the door behind them, panting heavily.
Closing his eyes for a moment, he wondered what Yunho might think, if Jaejoong could even consider this episode a succes in his plans. He needed to think about it, he needed to clear his mind.
The other guy, being oblivious to Jaejoong's inner struggles, launched himself at the smaller form and tried to pull his shirt down his shoulders. Jaejoong snapped out of his trance and stiffened. He felt disgusted by every single touch.
“W-wait,” he mumbled, trying to gently push the other away and put some distance between them. “Wait.”
“What for?” the guy muffled his voice into his neck and Jaejoong's face screwed up into a grimace.
“You want something to drink?” he blurted out nervously, hoping that he could earn some time.
“I want you,” the man pressed his body to Jaejoong's, hands cupping his butt, grinding his erection to the other's groin.
And that was when Jaejoong couldn't take it anymore and pushed the man away forcefully, making him stumble backwards, being caught off-guard by the movement.
“What the-”
“I'm sorry,” Jaejoong breathed out. “I'm sorry, I don't feel really well, what if we drink something?” He offered, trying to calm the other man down, because the anger that took over the surprise, was something Jaejoong didn't want to deal with. The original plan was to bring the guy into the apartment after making sure Yunho would see them, then offering some drink to make him stay for an hour or so and finally find some excuse to kick him out.
It didn't really go as planned and Jaejoong was starting to get desperate, while the guy was even more furious. His wrist was caught in a painful grip and Jaejoong's breath became laboured, terror sweeping through his body as he was pressed to the wall by the other.
“Please, I really don't feel well. Just go away, okay?” he hoped the guy wouldn't get any more aggressive and just leave. It didn't matter anymore if his plans were not working but he was scared shitless now that the man would rape him and Jaejoong knew that he didn't have a chance against him. The other was taller and stronger and on top of that, angry too.
For a brief moment, Jaejoong wondered if Yunho would come to his aid if he screamed.
He chose the other way though. “Please, I'm sorry but.. I really feel sick,” he pleaded as the man grabbed a fistful of his hair, breathing into his ear heavily. Jaejoong held his breath when the man tensed.
Then the heat of the other's body left him and the man took a step away. “Stupid bitch,” he hissed as he turned around and flung the door open. “Fuck you,” he grumbled and slammed the door loudly, leaving Jaejoong alone, standing, with his back still pressed to the wall, his breathing ragged.
He put his palm over his heart and closed his eyes. “Shit, that was scary.”
He never thought his plan could backfire that much. It was okay if he didn't manage to evoke any reaction from Yunho; it was not surprising because he was determined to take the risk all over and over again, bringing other guys home and making sure Yunho would see them so sooner or later the younger man must give some kind of reaction.
That was even worse though. He almost got raped and there was no way Yunho didn't hear the loud noise as the guy slammed his door shut.
Just why the hell weren't things going as Jaejoong imagined?
~ // ~
Giving up was not an option though. Every time Jaejoong thought of Yunho's almighty attitude, he could feel his blood boil.
He wanted to get through with his plan, no matter what.
Next time, Jaejoong was careful to choose a guy. The man at the other table looked handsome, a bit shy and harmless. Perfect target.
It didn't take Jaejoong an hour and they were already heading to his apartment. The guy was not pushy, but made it clear how much he liked Jaejoong. After an awkward start and a lot of stuttering, the man didn't stop talking. If it was under different circumstances, Jaejoong would even enjoy his complany.
When they reached the building, Jaejoong stopped dead in his tracks. Yunho's black Hyundai was parked right in front of the gate, though there wasn't any sign of the taller man around.
“Something's wrong?” the guy asked him, blinking at Jaejoong curiously.
Jaejoong shook his head and bit his lips, thinking. Then he heard footsteps and his heart slammed against his chest at recognizing them. He suddenly grabbed the guy's shoulders and pushed him against the car, pressing his body to his. Then cupped the other's face and kissed him. He could feel the other's body tensing, the whole action must have caught him as surprise as he let out a gasp, hesitantly resting his hand on Jaejoong's hips.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
They both jumped at the yell, Jaejoong shakily turned around to face a very pissed off Yunho. He inhaled deeply to regain composure. “Excuse me?”
With a few huge steps, Yunho approached them and stopped in front of Jaejoong, his eyes was burning in rage. “What the fuck are you doing on my car?”
Jaejoong wanted to smirk at the other's angry voice but he held himself back and faked a surprised expression. “Oh, oops, I didn't know it was yours,” he said, glad that his voice didn't betray him and managed to finish the sentence without stuttering.
Yunho's reaction was nothing like Jaejoong had expected. His lips curled into a smile, his anger controlled and hidden under a twinkle of his eyes. “If I ever notice as much as a scratch on my car, I make you pay for it, Jaejoong.”
With that, Yunho walked around and lazily tossed his shades up his nose, but not before he gave a wink at the other guy. Then he got in and drove off.
Jaejoong stood there, looking after the car as it turned around the corner, frozen.
The other man cleared his throat to get his attention and when he did, Jaejoong looked at him blankly. When Jaejoong didn't offer any explanation, nor did he make any move towards him, the man narrowed his eyes in suspicion.
“Who was this guy?”
Jaejoong sighed and shook his head. “My neighbor.”
“Really?” The man sounded skeptical and Jaejoong felt like shit for lying to him and using him like that. He really seemed to be a nice person.
“Okay, it's not my business but,” the guy paused and smiled at Jaejoong without any sign of anger on his face. “it's pretty obvious to me that you're not interested in me that way.”
Jaejoong sighed again, lowering his head. “I'm sorry.”
“Don't be. Look, I don't want to force myself on you, though I really like you. But I'm not the person who will have his way without the other's consent.”
Jaejoong looked up at him, feeling somewhat grateful.
“You know what?” the guy dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out a card, handing it to Jaejoong. “If you need some company or just want to talk, call me. My name is Yoochun, by the way.”
Jaejoong hesitantly reached after the card and put it into his pocket. “Mine is...”
“Jaejoong,” Yoochun finished for him and let out a chuckle. “I heard that.”
Jaejoong couldn't stop himself from smiling back, this man somehow calmed him and he was amazed that Yoochun was still being so nice to him after what happened. “I'm sorry about that.”
“I told you to stop apologizing. Just call me, we could meet up for a coffee or a beer,” he smiled and turned around as Jaejoong nodded, satisfied with the answer.
~ // ~
The next morning Jaejoong woke up early, it was still dark. He was somehow restless, not knowing exactly what was bothering him but he knew the best way to put his mind at ease. He grabbed his camera and left to a place he hadn't seen for almost two years now.
When he arrived at the little park, the sun was rising at the horizon, painting the trees above orange and white. Jaejoong loved this sight before and there was one reason for that. It was his favorite place in Seoul. His and Yunho's.
He raised his camera and clicked it a couple of times, soon being lost in the familiar sight and feeling. There was noone around him but the chirping birds and the soft murmurs of the wind, it was peaceful and nostalgic. Jaejoong's throat became dry as he remembered how they used to sit on a bench, Yunho's arms around his shoulder, his breaths brushing his neck, whispering sweet words into his ears.
The sun finally rose up fully above the horizon, spreading its rays all over and Jaejoong closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling as they carressed his cheeks. Then he felt something strange, rather than hear it, but the feeling was so strong that it made him open his eyes and look around.
And he saw him. Yunho. The other man didn't notice him as he crossed the park with huge steps, apparently deep in thoughts. Jaejoong's heart leaped and he quickly stepped away, hiding behind a tree, almost dropping his camera.
Then he peeked out and caught a glimpse of Yunho's back retreating from his sight as the man exited the park and disappeared.
What was he doing here?
~ // ~
A few more days and Jaejoong thought he was going crazy. Nothing seemed to be a good idea anymore. He realized he was hurting more than he should be while Yunho was obviously unaffected by all his attempts to make him... jealous? No that was not the word. Why the hell would he want to make Yunho jealous? He just wanted to show him he was wrong when he said that Jaejoong was not special and not pretty. That he was wrong when he had left him.
Struggling with himself for another couple of days, Jaejoong finally took a deep breath and called Yoochun.
The other man immediately agreed to meet Jaejoong and there he was, Yoochun sitting in Jaejoong's apartment, sipping his coffee and looking at the other with a playful smile on his face.
“So, did you call me to watch you sitting there in silence, or you actually have something to say?”
His voice was gentle and it was obvious he was joking but it made Jaejoong blush hard. As if it wasn't embarrassed enough already.
“Err... well, I'd like to ask you a favor but... I don't know. It's too much to ask and I'm not sure...”
“Just blurt it out,” Yoochun cut him off, taking another sip.
“O-okay,” Jaejoong stuttered, looking at his hands. “I'd like to ask you... to pretend to be my boyfriend.”
Yoochun almost choked on his coffee and looked up with wide eyes. “Did you just say what I heard you say?”
Jaejoong bit on his lower lip. “I think so.”
After a minute of complete silence, Yoochun sighed and place his cup on the table. “Does it have to do something with your... neighbor?”
The way he uttered the last word didn't go unnoticed by Jaejoong and he let out a sigh in defeat. “Maybe.”
“Who is he?”
Jaejoong thought about it for a second before he decided to tell everything to Yoochun. When he started to speak, his voice was quiet and uncertain, this being the first time he was telling the story to anyone and Jaejoong surprised even himself that he could speak so freely with a stranger. But talking to Yoochun didn't feel so weird and before Jaejoong knew, he ended up telling the whole story.
Yoochun didn't interrupt him, not even once and when Jaejoong finished, he only nodded and looked at the older man with a serious expression. “Do you still love him?”
Jaejoong could feel his stomach twist at hearing the question. He shook his head and the answer came a bit too fast. “No. Not at all. I hate him.”
Yoochun just raised an eyebrow but didn't answer to that; instead he changed the subject. “Okay, I'm in.”
“Huh?”
“I'm going to be your 'boyfriend' if that's what you want,” he said, putting an emphasis on the word, smiling at Jaejoong's shocked expression.
“Really? But I don't know how to...”
“Don't worry about it, it's fine with me. And maybe we can be friends, Jaejoong,” Yoochun smiled and Jaejoong couldn't help but agree.
“Thank you, Yoochun.”
“You're welcome,” Yoochun glanced at his watch. “I'm late for an appointment, I have to go now.”
“Sure,” Jaejoong nodded and walked the other to the door, opening it slowly. “Thanks again.”
Yoochun stepped out then suddenly turned around and leaning in, he pressed his lips to Jaejoong's who muffled a whimper and a cry of surprise. He was about to protest when Yoochun pulled away and gave sight of Yunho who was standing in front of his door, leaning on the door frame with an amused smile on his face.
In his head, Jaejoong quickly thanked Yoochun for the brilliant act and fast reaction but the next moment he froze as Yunho pushed the sport bag up on his shoulder and made his way to the couple with lazy steps, his smile never fading on his face.
Yoochun turned to him with a curious expression on his face, standing right between the two men as Yunho stopped in front of him and roamed his eyes over his body. Jaejoong held his breath.
Then Yunho leaned forward, his lips slightly brushing Yoochun's ear and his eyes looking straight at Jaejoong over the other's shoulder.
“Here's my number,” Yunho whispered huskily, making both Yoochun and Jaejoong shiver, “Call me if you get bored of him,” he pulled away and gave Yoochun a smirk. “You're cute.”
Just as Yoochun's face turned bright red, Jaejoong's became white as sheet and Yunho chuckled at both of their faces before he turned away to walk down the stairs.
Jaejoong's fists clenched as his face turned from pale to red in anger. He couldn't believe what had just happened. How could Yunho turn any kind of situation to his advantage and humiliate him every time? Pursing his lips, he banged his fist hard against his door. Jung Yunho, you bastard. I hate you! I hate you so much.
02.>>