Tell Me Something Sweet to Get Me By {2/3}
Title: Tell Me Something Sweet to Get Me By {2/3}
Author: aimeegaskarth
Pairing: flykarth
Rating: R (for language, cutting, drug usage, and other risky behavior)
Summary: Alex bit his lip at the thought of Matt loving Kennedi. They were too fucking perfect together. They liked all the same things and they had that dumb obsession over Mickey Mouse…
Okay, Alex didn’t think it was dumb. He thought it was adorable that Matt filled his bunk with Mickey Mouse, even though he joked about how creepy it was. It was just Kennedi. She was Matt in female form.
She was too fucking perfect.
And that’s why Alex was sitting in the small bathroom with the scissors pressed to his wrist, contemplating how he planned on gouging up his arm this time.
Disclaimer: This isn't real. I don't own any of the boys. The only things I can claim are Kennedi and the plot.
Author's Note: Part two. I'm warning you, it's sad.
Title and cuts come from If It Means A Lot To You - A Day To Remember.
~If you wanna check it out, here's my tumblr.~
Alex's hand fiddled with the tab on his beer as he watched his friends and their girlfriends being all couple-y and shit.
This was Jack's big idea, some sort of party with the other bands on tour.
Alex thinks everyone is hanging all over a girl.
Truth they all aren’t; only a few of the guys are. It’s just, Alex is kind of drunk and he doesn't really have an accurate concept of the word everyone.
There weren’t even that many girls around. Evan and Zack's girlfriends were only out for a couple of days, and they just left two days ago. Holly, who was only here for the past two days, headed back to Vegas this morning. Jack, who promised Alex that he'd hang out with him, is all over Vinny in attempts to distract him from drinking all the rum, again. The Summer Set, most of Hey Monday, and the rest of the ATL crew were not around, and the only two girls that were here are Cassadee and Kennedi, who are both permanently on tour. Cassadee for obvious reasons. Kennedi for being tour manager of Hey Monday.
So by everyone, Alex really just meant Matt, because, quite frankly, he is the only one that matters to him.
Alex takes another drink from his can and shoots a glare at his tour manager, who is wrapped around Kennedi, basically sucking her face off.
A sigh escapes the singers lips and he sets his can down so he can make his way off the bus.
The cool night air whips against his skin as he runs his calloused hands over his bare arms, wishing he had grabbed a hoodie or cardigan before he left the bus. But he doesn’t really want to go back in there, so he decides that he’ll survive and looks around the lot that the bus is parked in.
He thinks that they are in Chicago tonight.
No, it was Chattanooga.
No, Columbus...
Cleveland....
Cincinnati….
He thinks it starts with a C....
Maybe it starts with a K...?
Hell if Alex could remember. He didn't really care, he was just trying to keep his mind distracted as he wandered across the empty lot. There wasn’t too much light; the lamp posts were on the other side of the lot by the street, the blinds were pulled on the bus windows, and there was only a half moon in the sky tonight, but Alex’s eyes adjusted to the lack of light after a few minutes and he was able to kind of make out where he was.
Alex honestly did not like the fact that he was out here by himself. He knew that he needed someone out here with him before he did something stupid, but, once again, he found himself feeling lonely and worthless.
His hand went to his back pocket, fishing his black leather wallet out as he reached the curb separating the lot from the grassy field beyond it. He flipped the wallet open, thinking about how Jack had held Alex back and taken his scissors away when the bus cleared out this afternoon for sound check. His best friend also took the liberty of going through every single bag Alex had on the bus to make sure there were no other sharp objects.
Alex was just glad he didn’t go through his wallet.
He opened the large pocket and pulled out a thickly rolled blunt. He put it between his lips and fished a lighter out of his pocket. Flicking the dial, a flame came out of the lighter, and Alex held it under the end of the blunt as he sat down on the curb.
It took a moment for the head of the blunt to spark, but once it did, it didn’t take long for a grayish smoke to start to rise and a prominent, strangely spicy smell filled the air as Alex shoved the lighter back into his pocket. He inhaled deeply, holding the breath in his lungs… five… four… three… two… one… before exhaling, a slight feeling of relaxation falling over him. He repeated the action two more times and pinched the end of the blunt to stop the embers from eating away at any more of it before shoving it back in his wallet.
He felt really, really weird, and he liked it. That high marijuana gave him was the second best way to make him feel invisible. He was unable to focus his thoughts on what was going on back on the bus as he opened his wallet back up and fumbled through the credit card slots until he found what he was looking for.
A shiny silver razor blade.
Alex was so glad that Jack had no clue about the blade in his wallet, because honestly, he was really fucking done trying.
It had been three days since Jack round out about Alex’s habit. Three days since Alex came out to his best friend. Three days since Jack reassured Alex that everything was going to be okay because Matt was bi and he was going through problems with Kennedi. Three days since Alex had any glimmer of hope.
He stared at the scars on his arm, feeling tears prick against his eyes for no apparent reason. Alex just blinked them back as pressed the razor against his skin.
It stung more than it normally did, and Alex really liked the pain.
He added more pressure to the blade as it slid across his wrist, cutting deeper into the skin with each pass. As he watched the crimson liquid seep from his arms, he started to panic, because, yeah he just fucking mutilated his arms and he was losing a lot blood.
But this was the pain he had been looking for, the pain that he had been craving.
And in a strange way, it felt really fucking good.
Alex realized he was sobbing as he dropped the blade to the ground. His head started to spin and he really couldn’t focus on anything as a dopey smile painted its way onto his lips. Because, yeah, this was what he wanted.
“Alex!” the shout from one of the other boys came but it sounded like a faint whisper to the singer whose body slowly slumped forward as his eyes became heavy and he lost consciousness.
Author: aimeegaskarth
Pairing: flykarth
Rating: R (for language, cutting, drug usage, and other risky behavior)
Summary: Alex bit his lip at the thought of Matt loving Kennedi. They were too fucking perfect together. They liked all the same things and they had that dumb obsession over Mickey Mouse…
Okay, Alex didn’t think it was dumb. He thought it was adorable that Matt filled his bunk with Mickey Mouse, even though he joked about how creepy it was. It was just Kennedi. She was Matt in female form.
She was too fucking perfect.
And that’s why Alex was sitting in the small bathroom with the scissors pressed to his wrist, contemplating how he planned on gouging up his arm this time.
Disclaimer: This isn't real. I don't own any of the boys. The only things I can claim are Kennedi and the plot.
Author's Note: Part two. I'm warning you, it's sad.
Title and cuts come from If It Means A Lot To You - A Day To Remember.
~If you wanna check it out, here's my tumblr.~
Alex's hand fiddled with the tab on his beer as he watched his friends and their girlfriends being all couple-y and shit.
This was Jack's big idea, some sort of party with the other bands on tour.
Alex thinks everyone is hanging all over a girl.
Truth they all aren’t; only a few of the guys are. It’s just, Alex is kind of drunk and he doesn't really have an accurate concept of the word everyone.
There weren’t even that many girls around. Evan and Zack's girlfriends were only out for a couple of days, and they just left two days ago. Holly, who was only here for the past two days, headed back to Vegas this morning. Jack, who promised Alex that he'd hang out with him, is all over Vinny in attempts to distract him from drinking all the rum, again. The Summer Set, most of Hey Monday, and the rest of the ATL crew were not around, and the only two girls that were here are Cassadee and Kennedi, who are both permanently on tour. Cassadee for obvious reasons. Kennedi for being tour manager of Hey Monday.
So by everyone, Alex really just meant Matt, because, quite frankly, he is the only one that matters to him.
Alex takes another drink from his can and shoots a glare at his tour manager, who is wrapped around Kennedi, basically sucking her face off.
A sigh escapes the singers lips and he sets his can down so he can make his way off the bus.
The cool night air whips against his skin as he runs his calloused hands over his bare arms, wishing he had grabbed a hoodie or cardigan before he left the bus. But he doesn’t really want to go back in there, so he decides that he’ll survive and looks around the lot that the bus is parked in.
He thinks that they are in Chicago tonight.
No, it was Chattanooga.
No, Columbus...
Cleveland....
Cincinnati….
He thinks it starts with a C....
Maybe it starts with a K...?
Hell if Alex could remember. He didn't really care, he was just trying to keep his mind distracted as he wandered across the empty lot. There wasn’t too much light; the lamp posts were on the other side of the lot by the street, the blinds were pulled on the bus windows, and there was only a half moon in the sky tonight, but Alex’s eyes adjusted to the lack of light after a few minutes and he was able to kind of make out where he was.
Alex honestly did not like the fact that he was out here by himself. He knew that he needed someone out here with him before he did something stupid, but, once again, he found himself feeling lonely and worthless.
His hand went to his back pocket, fishing his black leather wallet out as he reached the curb separating the lot from the grassy field beyond it. He flipped the wallet open, thinking about how Jack had held Alex back and taken his scissors away when the bus cleared out this afternoon for sound check. His best friend also took the liberty of going through every single bag Alex had on the bus to make sure there were no other sharp objects.
Alex was just glad he didn’t go through his wallet.
He opened the large pocket and pulled out a thickly rolled blunt. He put it between his lips and fished a lighter out of his pocket. Flicking the dial, a flame came out of the lighter, and Alex held it under the end of the blunt as he sat down on the curb.
It took a moment for the head of the blunt to spark, but once it did, it didn’t take long for a grayish smoke to start to rise and a prominent, strangely spicy smell filled the air as Alex shoved the lighter back into his pocket. He inhaled deeply, holding the breath in his lungs… five… four… three… two… one… before exhaling, a slight feeling of relaxation falling over him. He repeated the action two more times and pinched the end of the blunt to stop the embers from eating away at any more of it before shoving it back in his wallet.
He felt really, really weird, and he liked it. That high marijuana gave him was the second best way to make him feel invisible. He was unable to focus his thoughts on what was going on back on the bus as he opened his wallet back up and fumbled through the credit card slots until he found what he was looking for.
A shiny silver razor blade.
Alex was so glad that Jack had no clue about the blade in his wallet, because honestly, he was really fucking done trying.
It had been three days since Jack round out about Alex’s habit. Three days since Alex came out to his best friend. Three days since Jack reassured Alex that everything was going to be okay because Matt was bi and he was going through problems with Kennedi. Three days since Alex had any glimmer of hope.
He stared at the scars on his arm, feeling tears prick against his eyes for no apparent reason. Alex just blinked them back as pressed the razor against his skin.
It stung more than it normally did, and Alex really liked the pain.
He added more pressure to the blade as it slid across his wrist, cutting deeper into the skin with each pass. As he watched the crimson liquid seep from his arms, he started to panic, because, yeah he just fucking mutilated his arms and he was losing a lot blood.
But this was the pain he had been looking for, the pain that he had been craving.
And in a strange way, it felt really fucking good.
Alex realized he was sobbing as he dropped the blade to the ground. His head started to spin and he really couldn’t focus on anything as a dopey smile painted its way onto his lips. Because, yeah, this was what he wanted.
“Alex!” the shout from one of the other boys came but it sounded like a faint whisper to the singer whose body slowly slumped forward as his eyes became heavy and he lost consciousness.