Tell Me Something Sweet to Get Me By {3/3}
Title: Tell Me Something Sweet to Get Me By {3/3}
Author: aimeegaskarth
Pairing: flykarth
Rating: R (for language, cutting, drug usage, and other risky behavior)
Summary: Alex bit his lip at the thought of Matt loving Kennedi. They were too fucking perfect together. They liked all the same things and they had that dumb obsession over Mickey Mouse…
Okay, Alex didn’t think it was dumb. He thought it was adorable that Matt filled his bunk with Mickey Mouse, even though he joked about how creepy it was. It was just Kennedi. She was Matt in female form.
She was too fucking perfect.
And that’s why Alex was sitting in the small bathroom with the scissors pressed to his wrist, contemplating how he planned on gouging up his arm this time.
Disclaimer: This isn't real. I don't own any of the boys. The only things I can claim are Kennedi and the plot.
Author's Note: This is the end :( It's not as depressing as you'd think though. :)
Title and cuts come from If It Means A Lot To You - A Day To Remember.
~~~
The waiting room was cold and bare, just like most of this hospital was. A few bleak, modern paintings hung on the wall in an attempt to make the room look a little welcoming. The chairs around the room were made of a painted white wood and had thin blue cushions on them and lined the wall that did not hold the gray couch where Zack was sleeping at the moment. Rian had left the room to go get coffee. Matt was standing awkwardly against the wall and Jack had been pacing for the past five and a half hours. He walked over to the tour manager and grabbed his shirt.
“This can’t fucking be happening!” Jack shouted, shaking Matt by the fabric he was holding onto. “Alex can’t be dying! God fucking damn it! This is how he lost Daniel. I can’t lose Alex the same way we lost his brother!”
“Jack, Alex will be fine,” Matt attempted to reassure, but really, he wasn’t so sure. Alex had been spiraling out of control for months now with his drinking and drug use. He thought it was just some phase Alex was going through, so he didn’t think to take any further actions. But the fact Alex slit his wrists in the parking lot scared him shitless.
He didn’t even know that the singer was hurting himself like this.
“He’s been cutting since high school, Matt!” Jack shouted, tears pooling up in his eyes as he shook the tour manager again. “He stopped, though, when we got signed. He wanted a fresh start and he wanted the career so badly. But you know why he started again?”
“No, Jack, I didn’t even know he had ever cut!” Matt dropped his tone, trying to get the guitarist to take the hint and calm down a little bit.
“He’s fucking cutting again because of you!” Jack stopped shaking his tour manager so he could poke him accusingly with his index finger.
“B-because of me?” the shorter boy gulped and tugged his lip ring into his mouth, feeling the cold metal against his tongue.
“Yes, you dumb ass!” Jack sighed, poking his chest again. “You are fucking oblivious. Alex is in love with you and you’re too busy hanging over that skank you call your girlfriend…”
“You are dating an ex-playboy bunny!” Matt shot back. “You have no room to call Kennedi a skank!”
“Your girlfriend is sleeping with Lipshaw!” Jack protested. “Stop denying it. You know that she if she isn’t sleeping with you she’s sleeping with him. She is only holding a relationship with you because you care about her more than he does.”
“You are lying!” Matt shouted back, cheeks growing red because, yeah, he knew Jack was right. “And you fucking know Holly let Hugh Hefner fuck her brains out every night. Don’t even try to deny…”
“You are impossible!” Jack yelled, grabbing Matt’s red t-shirt once again as tears started leaking past his lashes. “I might be losing my best friend, my brother, my band mate, the coolest fucking person I know right now and you’re more concerned about my girlfriend’s life! Just go to hell, Matt. Go to hell.”
“Jack, I didn’t mean…”
“Go to hell,” Jack repeated, dropping his shirt and storming off to go find Rian, knowing the drummer would be waiting with an open shoulder to cry on.
Matt pulled the metal lip ring into his mouth and sighed before plopping down into one of the uncomfortable waiting room chairs. He knew his girlfriend had a thing going on with one of the boys from her band, but he tried to overlook it because he didn’t have the name. And yeah, with what was going on with Alex, making fun of Holly was a really, really low blow and it made Matt look like a total dick, but he didn’t really care. Jack called his girlfriend, the girl that Matt was supposed to be in love with, a skank. That didn’t fly in his book.
He didn’t really know how to handle what was going on right now.
To say he didn’t have feelings for Alex was a lie. Everyone knew Matt had something more than a crush on the singer. But that’s the thing. It’s a crush... sort of. He has a girlfriend who he’s been with for over a year and he kinda loves her.
What is he supposed to do?
Is he supposed to sell back the engagement ring he has hidden in his bags on the bus for Kennedi and start dating his band’s singer?
Does he say fuck it and just go on with his life pretending Jack never said anything, always wondering what could have been?
He knows Kennedi would be fine. Hell, he doesn’t even know if she’d say yes if he asked her to marry him.
Why didn’t he just break up with her?
But the jeweler did give him a six month return policy on that ring. It’s only been a month since he bought it.
He could go return it…
“Mr. Flyzik?” the doctor, a tall blonde man that looked like he stepped out of one of those TV hospital dramas, asked, snapping Matt back into reality. “Alex is awake, if you want to see how he’s doing.”
“Thanks,” Matt says, pushing himself back out of the chair and following the doctor back to Alex’s room.
The burgundy haired boy was laying there with his bandaged arm pressed to his forehead, chocolate eyes focused on the ceiling tiles. Matt’s knuckles rapped on the door, causing Alex to glance towards him.
“C-can I come in?”
“W’ever,” the singer muttered, attempting to roll onto his side but failing due to the IVs in his arm.
“How are you feeling?” Matt asked, pulling his lip ring into his mouth as he waited for an answer. His friend looked so defenseless right now, laying under the white blankets that covered the shiny hospital bed in this stark, pale green hospital room. He really just wanted to run over and hold him, but he didn’t. That would be awkward.
“Shitty,” Alex muttered, rubbing his eyes with his bandaged wrist. “I should be dead right now.”
“Don’t think like that,” Matt frowned as he sat on the edge of the bed next to the singer. “Lex, ya can’t die yet. You have so much to live for...”
“No,” Alex cut the black haired boy off and shut his eyes.
“What do you mean no?”
Alex let out a sigh and opened his eyes slightly so he was look at his tour manager, who was once again sucking on his lip ring.
“I mean that I want to be dead, Matt.”
“You were drunk, you made a mistake, Alex,” Matt whispered, reaching over to brush the hair from Alex’s face with a soft smile.
“It wasn’t a mistake,” Alex said in a barely audible tone as he turned his head so he didn’t have to look at Matt. “I was trying to kill myself.”
“Alex…” Matt said, grabbing his hand and running his thumb over the knuckles.
“If you haven’t realized, I’m really not okay, Matt,” Alex breathed, teeth sinking into his lip as he tried to keep tears from forming in his eyes
“Alex…”
“I was high and I fucking tried to kill myself, Matt.”
“Lex, it’s okay…”
“It’s not fucking okay, I’m not fucking okay!” Alex attempted to shout, but it came out as I hoarse whisper as tears started streaming down his cheeks. “I don’t… Fuck…”
“You don’t what, Lex?” Matt asked, rubbing circles into the younger boys knuckles.
Alex bit his lip and sat there, piecing his words together silently for fear of sounding like a total idiot.
“I feel like no one cares about me,” Alex admitted as tears rolled down his cheeks. “Jack was ignoring me, you were sucking Kennedi’s face off…”
Matt stayed silent, watching the singer as he tried to piece his words together again.
“If you haven’t noticed, I don’t do too well on my own,” Alex finally said. “Every time I’m alone I hurt myself, be it cutting, hurling up the contents of my stomach, doing whatever drug I can find in the city we’re in, or drinking so much that I pass out. I’m not okay, Matt. And nobody cares about me.”
“Lex, we all care,” Matt attempted to reassure, lacing his fingers between Alex’s.
“Then why doesn’t anyone try to stop me from doing this?” Alex demanded an answer as he pulled his hand away from Matt’s and used what little strength he had to sit up.
“We-we thought it was just a phase,” the black haired boy was reluctant to admit, tugging his lip ring into his mouth again. “We-we thought you’d grow out of it.”
“That’s the second biggest lie I’ve heard in my life,” Alex said, lifting his right arm and pointing to the scar on it with his left hand, carefully, so he didn’t pull the IV out on accident. “The first being the shitty one I tell when people ask me how I got this mother fucker. This one should have killed me for sure.”
“Alex, don’t talk like this,” Matt begged, attempting to grab his hand again, but Alex pulled it away. “You aren’t supposed to die so young.”
“I don’t have shit worth living for!” Alex shouted, tears pouring out of his eyes faster as he threw himself against the bed dramatically.
Matt opened his mouth to say something but he stopped as Alex started babbling.
“I wish I was invisible. Then this shit wouldn’t happen to me. I want to be invisible. God damn it, I just…” he was interrupted but a loud sob before he continued. “I want to hate you, Matt. I fucking want to hate you, but I can’t. I am in love with you but you’re with Kennedi and I fucking hate it. I know you don’t feel the same way about me and I fucking hate myself for it. That’s why I do this shit, that’s why I do drugs and cut myself. That’s why I...”
Alex was so busy ranting that he didn’t realize Matt had climbed onto the bed and straddled his waist until he felt the cold metal lip ring pressed against his lips. He moved his hands carefully so he could grab hold of Matt’s shirt, keeping himself upright and keeping Matt as close as possible.
It wasn’t long before Alex had to pull away. His lips were kiss bruised and his breathing far beyond irregular and uneven. He leaned back against the pillows and let out an airy breath.
“Holy shit.”
“T-that’s what I’m thinking,” Matt breathed, lifting his leg so he could roll over and lay next to the singer.
“I thought you’re dating Kennedi,” Alex said, looking into Matt’s dark brown eyes with a sad smile on his swollen lips.
“Technically I still am,” Matt said, pulling out his phone and typing away at the keys. He hit the send button then re-opened the text he had just sent and set the phone in Alex’s hands. “Now I’m technically not.”
“W-what do you mean?” Alex breathed.
“Read the text I just sent,” Matt smiled, running his fingers across Alex’s stomach as he propped himself up on his elbow to get a better look at the younger boy’s face.
To: Kennedi
8:32 PM
I know all about you and Lipshaw, Ken. We’re done. Don’t even bother trying to talk this out. I know there’s someone out there that’s going to make each of us happier than we are now.
“Flyzik, that’s a dick move,” Alex sighed, handing the phone back to the dark haired boy laying next to him as a frown painted its way across his face.
“I don’t care,” he shrugged, tucking the phone into his pocket and lacing his fingers with Alex’s once again. “Mainly because she’s not important. You are, Lex.”
“Really?” Alex beamed. Matt nodded and pressed his lips to the younger’s cheek.
“Sometimes, taking care of you is like herding sheep, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I care about you too much.”
Alex laughed lightly before he let out a yawn and curled against Matt, still careful not to pull the IV out of his hand.
“Lex, ya wanna be my boyfriend?” Matt whispered against the singer’s burgundy hair.
“Y-yeah,” Alex blushed.
Matt smiled and pressed his lips to Alex’s forehead. “You should get some sleep. Doctor said you’re gonna need a lot of rest if ya want to recover soon.”
He went to get up and let Alex be when the singer grabbed hold of his wrist and tugged him back.
“Stay with me?”
He laid back down and placed his hand on Alex’s hip.
“Of course.”
Author: aimeegaskarth
Pairing: flykarth
Rating: R (for language, cutting, drug usage, and other risky behavior)
Summary: Alex bit his lip at the thought of Matt loving Kennedi. They were too fucking perfect together. They liked all the same things and they had that dumb obsession over Mickey Mouse…
Okay, Alex didn’t think it was dumb. He thought it was adorable that Matt filled his bunk with Mickey Mouse, even though he joked about how creepy it was. It was just Kennedi. She was Matt in female form.
She was too fucking perfect.
And that’s why Alex was sitting in the small bathroom with the scissors pressed to his wrist, contemplating how he planned on gouging up his arm this time.
Disclaimer: This isn't real. I don't own any of the boys. The only things I can claim are Kennedi and the plot.
Author's Note: This is the end :( It's not as depressing as you'd think though. :)
Title and cuts come from If It Means A Lot To You - A Day To Remember.
~~~
The waiting room was cold and bare, just like most of this hospital was. A few bleak, modern paintings hung on the wall in an attempt to make the room look a little welcoming. The chairs around the room were made of a painted white wood and had thin blue cushions on them and lined the wall that did not hold the gray couch where Zack was sleeping at the moment. Rian had left the room to go get coffee. Matt was standing awkwardly against the wall and Jack had been pacing for the past five and a half hours. He walked over to the tour manager and grabbed his shirt.
“This can’t fucking be happening!” Jack shouted, shaking Matt by the fabric he was holding onto. “Alex can’t be dying! God fucking damn it! This is how he lost Daniel. I can’t lose Alex the same way we lost his brother!”
“Jack, Alex will be fine,” Matt attempted to reassure, but really, he wasn’t so sure. Alex had been spiraling out of control for months now with his drinking and drug use. He thought it was just some phase Alex was going through, so he didn’t think to take any further actions. But the fact Alex slit his wrists in the parking lot scared him shitless.
He didn’t even know that the singer was hurting himself like this.
“He’s been cutting since high school, Matt!” Jack shouted, tears pooling up in his eyes as he shook the tour manager again. “He stopped, though, when we got signed. He wanted a fresh start and he wanted the career so badly. But you know why he started again?”
“No, Jack, I didn’t even know he had ever cut!” Matt dropped his tone, trying to get the guitarist to take the hint and calm down a little bit.
“He’s fucking cutting again because of you!” Jack stopped shaking his tour manager so he could poke him accusingly with his index finger.
“B-because of me?” the shorter boy gulped and tugged his lip ring into his mouth, feeling the cold metal against his tongue.
“Yes, you dumb ass!” Jack sighed, poking his chest again. “You are fucking oblivious. Alex is in love with you and you’re too busy hanging over that skank you call your girlfriend…”
“You are dating an ex-playboy bunny!” Matt shot back. “You have no room to call Kennedi a skank!”
“Your girlfriend is sleeping with Lipshaw!” Jack protested. “Stop denying it. You know that she if she isn’t sleeping with you she’s sleeping with him. She is only holding a relationship with you because you care about her more than he does.”
“You are lying!” Matt shouted back, cheeks growing red because, yeah, he knew Jack was right. “And you fucking know Holly let Hugh Hefner fuck her brains out every night. Don’t even try to deny…”
“You are impossible!” Jack yelled, grabbing Matt’s red t-shirt once again as tears started leaking past his lashes. “I might be losing my best friend, my brother, my band mate, the coolest fucking person I know right now and you’re more concerned about my girlfriend’s life! Just go to hell, Matt. Go to hell.”
“Jack, I didn’t mean…”
“Go to hell,” Jack repeated, dropping his shirt and storming off to go find Rian, knowing the drummer would be waiting with an open shoulder to cry on.
Matt pulled the metal lip ring into his mouth and sighed before plopping down into one of the uncomfortable waiting room chairs. He knew his girlfriend had a thing going on with one of the boys from her band, but he tried to overlook it because he didn’t have the name. And yeah, with what was going on with Alex, making fun of Holly was a really, really low blow and it made Matt look like a total dick, but he didn’t really care. Jack called his girlfriend, the girl that Matt was supposed to be in love with, a skank. That didn’t fly in his book.
He didn’t really know how to handle what was going on right now.
To say he didn’t have feelings for Alex was a lie. Everyone knew Matt had something more than a crush on the singer. But that’s the thing. It’s a crush... sort of. He has a girlfriend who he’s been with for over a year and he kinda loves her.
What is he supposed to do?
Is he supposed to sell back the engagement ring he has hidden in his bags on the bus for Kennedi and start dating his band’s singer?
Does he say fuck it and just go on with his life pretending Jack never said anything, always wondering what could have been?
He knows Kennedi would be fine. Hell, he doesn’t even know if she’d say yes if he asked her to marry him.
Why didn’t he just break up with her?
But the jeweler did give him a six month return policy on that ring. It’s only been a month since he bought it.
He could go return it…
“Mr. Flyzik?” the doctor, a tall blonde man that looked like he stepped out of one of those TV hospital dramas, asked, snapping Matt back into reality. “Alex is awake, if you want to see how he’s doing.”
“Thanks,” Matt says, pushing himself back out of the chair and following the doctor back to Alex’s room.
The burgundy haired boy was laying there with his bandaged arm pressed to his forehead, chocolate eyes focused on the ceiling tiles. Matt’s knuckles rapped on the door, causing Alex to glance towards him.
“C-can I come in?”
“W’ever,” the singer muttered, attempting to roll onto his side but failing due to the IVs in his arm.
“How are you feeling?” Matt asked, pulling his lip ring into his mouth as he waited for an answer. His friend looked so defenseless right now, laying under the white blankets that covered the shiny hospital bed in this stark, pale green hospital room. He really just wanted to run over and hold him, but he didn’t. That would be awkward.
“Shitty,” Alex muttered, rubbing his eyes with his bandaged wrist. “I should be dead right now.”
“Don’t think like that,” Matt frowned as he sat on the edge of the bed next to the singer. “Lex, ya can’t die yet. You have so much to live for...”
“No,” Alex cut the black haired boy off and shut his eyes.
“What do you mean no?”
Alex let out a sigh and opened his eyes slightly so he was look at his tour manager, who was once again sucking on his lip ring.
“I mean that I want to be dead, Matt.”
“You were drunk, you made a mistake, Alex,” Matt whispered, reaching over to brush the hair from Alex’s face with a soft smile.
“It wasn’t a mistake,” Alex said in a barely audible tone as he turned his head so he didn’t have to look at Matt. “I was trying to kill myself.”
“Alex…” Matt said, grabbing his hand and running his thumb over the knuckles.
“If you haven’t realized, I’m really not okay, Matt,” Alex breathed, teeth sinking into his lip as he tried to keep tears from forming in his eyes
“Alex…”
“I was high and I fucking tried to kill myself, Matt.”
“Lex, it’s okay…”
“It’s not fucking okay, I’m not fucking okay!” Alex attempted to shout, but it came out as I hoarse whisper as tears started streaming down his cheeks. “I don’t… Fuck…”
“You don’t what, Lex?” Matt asked, rubbing circles into the younger boys knuckles.
Alex bit his lip and sat there, piecing his words together silently for fear of sounding like a total idiot.
“I feel like no one cares about me,” Alex admitted as tears rolled down his cheeks. “Jack was ignoring me, you were sucking Kennedi’s face off…”
Matt stayed silent, watching the singer as he tried to piece his words together again.
“If you haven’t noticed, I don’t do too well on my own,” Alex finally said. “Every time I’m alone I hurt myself, be it cutting, hurling up the contents of my stomach, doing whatever drug I can find in the city we’re in, or drinking so much that I pass out. I’m not okay, Matt. And nobody cares about me.”
“Lex, we all care,” Matt attempted to reassure, lacing his fingers between Alex’s.
“Then why doesn’t anyone try to stop me from doing this?” Alex demanded an answer as he pulled his hand away from Matt’s and used what little strength he had to sit up.
“We-we thought it was just a phase,” the black haired boy was reluctant to admit, tugging his lip ring into his mouth again. “We-we thought you’d grow out of it.”
“That’s the second biggest lie I’ve heard in my life,” Alex said, lifting his right arm and pointing to the scar on it with his left hand, carefully, so he didn’t pull the IV out on accident. “The first being the shitty one I tell when people ask me how I got this mother fucker. This one should have killed me for sure.”
“Alex, don’t talk like this,” Matt begged, attempting to grab his hand again, but Alex pulled it away. “You aren’t supposed to die so young.”
“I don’t have shit worth living for!” Alex shouted, tears pouring out of his eyes faster as he threw himself against the bed dramatically.
Matt opened his mouth to say something but he stopped as Alex started babbling.
“I wish I was invisible. Then this shit wouldn’t happen to me. I want to be invisible. God damn it, I just…” he was interrupted but a loud sob before he continued. “I want to hate you, Matt. I fucking want to hate you, but I can’t. I am in love with you but you’re with Kennedi and I fucking hate it. I know you don’t feel the same way about me and I fucking hate myself for it. That’s why I do this shit, that’s why I do drugs and cut myself. That’s why I...”
Alex was so busy ranting that he didn’t realize Matt had climbed onto the bed and straddled his waist until he felt the cold metal lip ring pressed against his lips. He moved his hands carefully so he could grab hold of Matt’s shirt, keeping himself upright and keeping Matt as close as possible.
It wasn’t long before Alex had to pull away. His lips were kiss bruised and his breathing far beyond irregular and uneven. He leaned back against the pillows and let out an airy breath.
“Holy shit.”
“T-that’s what I’m thinking,” Matt breathed, lifting his leg so he could roll over and lay next to the singer.
“I thought you’re dating Kennedi,” Alex said, looking into Matt’s dark brown eyes with a sad smile on his swollen lips.
“Technically I still am,” Matt said, pulling out his phone and typing away at the keys. He hit the send button then re-opened the text he had just sent and set the phone in Alex’s hands. “Now I’m technically not.”
“W-what do you mean?” Alex breathed.
“Read the text I just sent,” Matt smiled, running his fingers across Alex’s stomach as he propped himself up on his elbow to get a better look at the younger boy’s face.
To: Kennedi
8:32 PM
I know all about you and Lipshaw, Ken. We’re done. Don’t even bother trying to talk this out. I know there’s someone out there that’s going to make each of us happier than we are now.
“Flyzik, that’s a dick move,” Alex sighed, handing the phone back to the dark haired boy laying next to him as a frown painted its way across his face.
“I don’t care,” he shrugged, tucking the phone into his pocket and lacing his fingers with Alex’s once again. “Mainly because she’s not important. You are, Lex.”
“Really?” Alex beamed. Matt nodded and pressed his lips to the younger’s cheek.
“Sometimes, taking care of you is like herding sheep, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I care about you too much.”
Alex laughed lightly before he let out a yawn and curled against Matt, still careful not to pull the IV out of his hand.
“Lex, ya wanna be my boyfriend?” Matt whispered against the singer’s burgundy hair.
“Y-yeah,” Alex blushed.
Matt smiled and pressed his lips to Alex’s forehead. “You should get some sleep. Doctor said you’re gonna need a lot of rest if ya want to recover soon.”
He went to get up and let Alex be when the singer grabbed hold of his wrist and tugged him back.
“Stay with me?”
He laid back down and placed his hand on Alex’s hip.
“Of course.”