Ambitions and Boys
Okay, I need to get this off my chest:
I'm NOT looking to be a housewife at all. I want a career. I want to know I can rely on myself financially. I want an identity.
But I also want to date someone again. I hate being single. I can't help that part of myself. Of course everyone else (including those IN A RELATIONSHIP) are always like, "Oh be grateful you're single! Play the field! Enjoy some time alone." Kay, yeah. I've done that.
Be grateful: ....okay I'm not dating someone that's going nowhere
Play the field: Had to reject two guys that were barking up my tree the minute Mike and I broke
up....desperate (and I had zero interest). Went on a few dates with this guy who was pretty cute....but not my type. Went on a few dates with a friend who I kinda like, but I was wary of his future plans...but that doesn't matter, because he moved on and is now dating someone. Went on a blind date with someone who doesn't have a car or a license, and lives over an hour away, stuttered (but he was really nice). Zip, zero, zilch
Enjoy the time alone: Listening to 3 engagements, wedding planning, newly blossomed relationships and couples moving in together. Yup....being single is clearly the way to go.
And there's the old adage "It'll come when you aren't looking." Being single at 22 is now a rarity apparently. My extended family keeps asking about my dating life, I mean, Mike has a nice girlfriend, why don't I find a nice boyfriend? ....oh wow I've been doing this *all* wrong. I've been looking for assholes /sarcasm. I can't help that I want to date someone now, and not wait another few months. I've been single since August. I spent my senior year of college miserably lonely. (Sorry for the dramatics....)
What I'm trying to say is...I don't need a guy to have an identity, but I miss the thrill of dating, always having someone there for you and all that. Having someone other than my parents to say "I love you."
It's gotten to the point where I even don't know if grad school at BSU is right for me...way too many girls....but it's cost-effective and all that =/ that's what I should be choosing based on. But I don't want to continue on this miserable path while my bff is planning a wedding to the man of her dreams.
I hate this feeling. Honestly I wish i didn't think this way.
I'm NOT looking to be a housewife at all. I want a career. I want to know I can rely on myself financially. I want an identity.
But I also want to date someone again. I hate being single. I can't help that part of myself. Of course everyone else (including those IN A RELATIONSHIP) are always like, "Oh be grateful you're single! Play the field! Enjoy some time alone." Kay, yeah. I've done that.
Be grateful: ....okay I'm not dating someone that's going nowhere
Play the field: Had to reject two guys that were barking up my tree the minute Mike and I broke
up....desperate (and I had zero interest). Went on a few dates with this guy who was pretty cute....but not my type. Went on a few dates with a friend who I kinda like, but I was wary of his future plans...but that doesn't matter, because he moved on and is now dating someone. Went on a blind date with someone who doesn't have a car or a license, and lives over an hour away, stuttered (but he was really nice). Zip, zero, zilch
Enjoy the time alone: Listening to 3 engagements, wedding planning, newly blossomed relationships and couples moving in together. Yup....being single is clearly the way to go.
And there's the old adage "It'll come when you aren't looking." Being single at 22 is now a rarity apparently. My extended family keeps asking about my dating life, I mean, Mike has a nice girlfriend, why don't I find a nice boyfriend? ....oh wow I've been doing this *all* wrong. I've been looking for assholes /sarcasm. I can't help that I want to date someone now, and not wait another few months. I've been single since August. I spent my senior year of college miserably lonely. (Sorry for the dramatics....)
What I'm trying to say is...I don't need a guy to have an identity, but I miss the thrill of dating, always having someone there for you and all that. Having someone other than my parents to say "I love you."
It's gotten to the point where I even don't know if grad school at BSU is right for me...way too many girls....but it's cost-effective and all that =/ that's what I should be choosing based on. But I don't want to continue on this miserable path while my bff is planning a wedding to the man of her dreams.
I hate this feeling. Honestly I wish i didn't think this way.