(no subject)
there have been issues and drama lately within my relationships where feelings of love, availability, reciprocality and need have made them complicated, tiring, stressful, and ultimately hurtful. i understand the need to talk things out, but sometimes i hate discussing one's personal definitions, expectations, and intentions. wasn't part of the decision to become friends that there was an agreement on these sorts of things - you had these in common, and thus friendship was the logical route to follow. just why things have changed, and that these issues need to be talked through sucks, it's incredibly frustrating. and what's worse is when people respond by not talking about it, it seems as though they decide that i am not worth it, and that particular relationship is dropped before i can have any say.
what's more is that lately, there have been issues in every circle of my various friendships - school friends, home friends, work friends. there's no one person that i know that isn't involved in one of them, and as much as i want to go and complain to them, i know that i can't for the sake of not trying to gain additional sympathy, split sides, and create further drama.
my friends groups are too small, i've just hit this funk, haven't been meeting new people, having new experiences, as much as i've been trying. i've made efforts to separate myself, go out and do new things, put myself in new settings, and nothing has come to fruition yet.
solution? i need new friends, to get away from what's been going on in the current ones, i need that new outlet. b/c i'm feeling worthless, unneeded, disrespected, undervalued, and not the way i want to remember this time in my life, nor continue living this way when i should be out there exploring, learning, and making new connections.
what's more is that lately, there have been issues in every circle of my various friendships - school friends, home friends, work friends. there's no one person that i know that isn't involved in one of them, and as much as i want to go and complain to them, i know that i can't for the sake of not trying to gain additional sympathy, split sides, and create further drama.
my friends groups are too small, i've just hit this funk, haven't been meeting new people, having new experiences, as much as i've been trying. i've made efforts to separate myself, go out and do new things, put myself in new settings, and nothing has come to fruition yet.
solution? i need new friends, to get away from what's been going on in the current ones, i need that new outlet. b/c i'm feeling worthless, unneeded, disrespected, undervalued, and not the way i want to remember this time in my life, nor continue living this way when i should be out there exploring, learning, and making new connections.