The Hell Raiser Returns
The thought of that i could have died is starting to set in. "He really shouldn't be here, hes lucky to be alive" thats all i have been hearing lately. The police officer, the people at the hospital, the insurance company and the Chrysler collision shop all said the same thing... that i shouldn't be here. These type of people with there types of jobs, they see this kind of shit everyday and know what they are talking about. I know that the engineering problem with the road played a part in my accident but, how i managed to survive that without a scratch just blows me away. I really dont know what to think about it. Now, im not getting all christian or zen garden master-like and all, i just think that there has to be some reason, some meaning or something behind it.... The Chrysler dealer called my parents today with an estimate for the repairs. They weren't even complete with it and so far they came up with over $10,000 worth of damage. The car only cost $8,000 so they said that they are just going to total it without completing the estimate. The entire engine was moved over 8 inches and beyond repair. They reminded my parents how lucky that i am to be alive. Now, i know that a lot of you probably cant imagine why im making a big deal about this (crystal for instance), but i guess its just something you have to experience first hand. Me telling the story and the pictures i posted just isn't the same as actually being in a situation that could, should, end your life. Now, that i look back in some things in life, everything bad that has happened to me was nothing compared to this. My neck and my head have been killing me and ive felt a bit out of it but, thats not whats bothering me most... its mostly thoughts about "what if". I keep thinking to my self what if i still had that POS Grand am (a.k.a. "The Blue Bomber") or what if i lost a limb or some shit, or even worse, what if i did die. All the professionals said i should be... All the professionals say that im lucky to be here... But none of them could tell me why i am here. Sure, you could say that Chrysler is top for safety, but that doesn't explain why when my car stopped in the middle of two lanes horizontally, with my side facing traffic, that i didn't get hit. Not only that but the damage alone to the car should have done something to me. Like i said before, im not becoming all religious and all, its just hard to accept there is nothing behind my safety from the whole thing.