LONG RANT AHEAD (TL;DR)
I’m really getting fed up with all the hate going on in the K-POP scene. It makes me feel as if I’m in this huge ass ground full of pesky kids who keep on quarreling with each other for no apparent, and more importantly, VALID reason. Sorry to break it to you guys, but there is so much more to the world than the random hateful feelings you get, when “oppa’s rumored to have a girlfriend,” that may or may not be emotions that are a result of raging hormones.
I get it. You’re upset. Then again, everybody does get upset from time to time. The difference lies in how you cope and deal with your problems and feelings. Some people sing when they’re sad; some people dance to let it all out; some watch comedy shows to lift their spirits up; some eat while others don’t eat at all when they’re depressed; some listen to music and let the melody heal their wounded hearts; some resort to alcohol, cigarettes and other illicit drugs - not that I’m saying that that type of coping should be tolerated; while some… sadly, resort to violence.
Of course, violence is not only limited to the physical type. Verbal insults are a form of violence. Thus, bashing is a type of violence too. It makes me wonder what people get from bashing anyway. Does someone actually get paid to spread hate and start fights? Please explain it to me because I REALLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND any of it.
Don’t you think you’re being hypocritical in reblogging those: “Stop internet bullying.” and “Verbal abuse is the worst kind of abuse there is.” posts all over tumblr? So, yes. You’re basically doing exactly the same thing you claim to be against with your bashing./le gasp
THIS fandom and THAT fandom are always ready to cut each other's necks while THIS fandom hates THAT fandom, and so on and so forth. I mean, don’t you ever get tired of all the animosity going on? Huh, kids?
I hope you do realize that most of us, if not all, get to deal with a shitty and crappy reality each and every fucking day. The stress we get from merely living our lives is already too taxing without the unnecessary drama. I know, I know. You might say: “If you're getting stressed with being a K-POP fan, then stop. We don't need you.” But the thing is, you know how K-POP affects a fan. You of all people should know how K-POP starts as a mere fascination and progresses from there. And the next thing you know, you’ve already been completely sucked in - thoroughly obsessed, defenseless, and you don’t even know how you got there but what's done is done and you can't do anything else but to let yourself fall deeper anyway. It's an addiction, really.
It’s just like getting bat-shit drunk on a Friday night, only to wake up beside a stranger with your head pounding through your ears. You deeply regret even drinking in the first place and you swear you’ll never touch alcohol ever again with a ten-foot pole. Yet, you find yourself doing exactly the same think the next weekend. K-POP has become a way of life, so quitting is not an option. Simple as that. Then again, It’s when people tend to make simple things such as this, complicated, that leads to all this confusion and hostility and overall damage.
It's not even a matter of which fandom you belong to anymore. It's more of an attitude problem, I guess. People assume they know so much about THIS idol and THIS fandom when they clearly aren’t even remotely related to that idol or a part of the fandom he/she is hating on, respectively. I guess the problem lies in humans’ tendency to be self-righteous. People always have something bad to say to other people when basic common sense states that the best thing to do when you feel extremes of emotions is TO SAY NOTHING AT ALL. Self-expression is one thing. It’s a right. Freedom of speech is probably written in all law books there is. Do it on YOUR own blog, not THIS group's music video and THAT group's news article. Enjoy your rights fully. But when your right starts to trespass on the rights of another, that’s a different story altogether.
As much as I am sickened by the high level of hostility between certain fandoms, I am deeply disgusted more when the hate is targeted towards idols themselves. The haters’ reason ranges from a simple “Her hair looks like crap.” to “His singing is sucky.” to “She’s such a slut. I don’t like her.” to “Why was he even accepted into the group?” to something as extreme as “I hate __________ very much. I wish he/she dies.”
How could someone actually wish for someone to die, at all? Especially that those idols didn’t really do anything particularly wrong to YOU. It’s cruel but yes, that idol DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOU EXIST, yet here you are, spending a huge amount of time writing long ass posts about how THIS idol sucks and THAT idol should just quit the band and all those shit. Sure, those posts wouldn’t even get to be read by the idol it’s targeted to, but the fact that you wrote something as awful as hate mail or create an anti-blog should already make a huge dent on your conscience. And we’ll never know if those posts do get read after all. If you put your feet in an idol’s shoes, how would you feel when you read such hateful comments written by people who don’t even know you - personally, that is.
We all go say that no one really knows how an idol’s personality in reality is, and I quite agree with that - what with the strict protocol idols have to follow, complete with list of things “to say” and “not to say” on air. Then again, aren’t we all somewhat like that? Our personality will always come out whenever we interact with people despite how much we try to keep it all in.
Give Actress A a script and she’ll inject her personality and character in the way she will act out the role; give Actress B exactly the same script and rest assured, she will act it in a way that’s different from Actress A, adding her own distinct touch that roots from her very own personality.
Inasmuch as it is possible that all these idols are being “fake” and “concoct false stories so they would seem so much more interesting,” there is also this huge probability that the personalities they portray on TV and the stories they tell can also be genuine. Point is, not one person deserves to be despised so much when he's/she’s just being himself/herself. No one can really please everybody - not even idols. But the least thing one could do is try to be civil, at the least.
It all boils down to one simple thing that a lot of people have difficulty in understanding - that IDOLS ARE HUMAN TOO. They don't poo gold. Their fart smells just as bad. They eat the food we eat. Sure, they sleep less hours, but the point is, they need sleep like us - unlike robots that can be given nothing so much as fuel and electricity and everything’s still gonna be work fine. They have moms and dads and siblings who they probably often fight with, just as we do so ourselves. And above all, THEY HAVE FEELINGS TOO. Even the world’s most heinous criminal has feelings. EVERYBODY GETS HURT.
Sure, the hurt may numb after some time, hidden in the deepest recesses of their hearts as they try to get on with life and focus on their career and dreams, ignoring the hateful comments bashers throw their way. But the thing is, THE HURT WILL ALWAYS BE THERE. It leaves a scar that gets imprinted onto one’s mind, never to fade no matter how much time has elapsed. And it will always remind them of all the bad things they have had to go through. It will be with them all throughout their lifetime. I mean, I got bullied in my first year in high school and that was roughly nine years ago, but I still feel a pang of pain whenever I remember how those jeers thrown at me. People will get affected, no matter what, yet we have no other choice but to deal with it and hope that no one hurts us again.
Then again, probably the worst thing about all of this is when the idols do ONE thing that doesn’t meet the fan's standards… his/her expectation of "perfection," then he'd/she'd start to hate oppa/unnie thereafter. TBH, I don't get it. I never heard an idol say: "Hey bitches. I'm perfect so bow down to me." It's the fans themselves who make stupid assumptions, and when they're proven wrong, their innate instinct of defensiveness gets activated. That's when they start to find someone to blame. And of course, there’s no one else better to blame than the idols themselves.
“Oppa has a GF? He betrayed me! I hate him so much.”
Sooo… are you and your oppa in a relationship for him to actually “betray" you? You don’t own him, js. Respect his feelings and decisions. You can’t do anything about it no matter how much you whine and that’s that.
Respect goes a long way. If you respect people, you’re bound to get due respect back. And those who couldn’t do that can go fuck themselves. After all, stupidity is like, a basic human commodity. You just have to get on with your life and refrain from doing the same things stupid people do. If only people would understand that, K-POP, and the world in general, would surely become a better place.
So what if an idol says something rude? I say something rude every other day and I know that lots of people do it too. But it's okay for us to do that, but not idols?
I curse every five minutes or so, but when an idol says something as short as shi---(bleep), he's considered as vile?
Most of us don’t even spare a smile, yet alone help old people cross the street. But when an idol fails to bow to a sunbae ONE time, she’s insolent?
How many of you teenagers are in an intimate relationship? A lot. But oppa who is twenty-three years old is not allowed to have a girlfriend because he’s an idol.
I know people would defend their stance and say: "She's an idol. She should know better than to say things like that out loud." or “It was his choice to enter show business in the first place. He should’ve been prepared for whatever consequence it might bring."
Then, the people who bash are branded as haters and the fans would defend the idol and BECOME HATERS OF THE HATERS THEMSELVES. War ensues and there starts a vicious cycle. It’s ironic when you come to think of it, isn’t it? They say fire shouldn’t be put out with fire. I guess people should learn to use water next time.
There are only two reasons why people hate on others. One: That person has done something gravely wrong to him/her. And if you’re not really on first-name basis with that particular idol you hate, I guess that’s not the case. Two: They are deeply insecure and/or threatened by someone else’s presence that they feel as if they need to say shit to bring that idol/person//fandom down to make himself/herself feel better. Talk about crabmentality.
Bottomline is, EVERYBODY MAKES EXCUSES to make ourselves feel better. We all want someone to blame our frustrations, problems, and insecurities to. And what better way than to vent out against someone who can’t fight back, right? Someone as helpless as an idol who wouldn’t even be able to defend himself/herself no matter how he/she wanted to.
Everyone would get defensive and say: “I’m merely pointing out what imperfections I've observed that you, crazy, delusional, fans don’t see.” But the more you think about it, the more you realize that it’s nothing but a defense mechanism to justify one’s actions, because constructive criticism is so SO much different than just plain hating.
Let me show you an example.
“Oh my god! _________ is such a bitch why does he have to sit beside oppa. I’m gonna slash her throat and I hope that she burns in the deepest pit of hell.”
VS.
“I seriously think ___________ could use more practice. His singing has always been off-key and it wouldn’t hurt if he tried harder to improve in that aspect so as to better his versatility as an artist.
One more:
“What the fuck! _________’s acting is so crappy and shitty. I’m gonna die here looking at her blank face. What was her fans thinking!? She can’t act even if it saved her life and there’s nothing special about her dancing/singing at all. Like seriously, get her the fuck out of the screen already. (WHY ARE YOU EVEN WATCHING IN THE FIRST PLACE?)
VS.
I really wish _________ could take on some more acting/singing/dancing workshops in the future. I can see that she’s pretty and all, but a pretty face doesn’t necessarily equate to good acting/singing/dancing. I know she’s capable of improvement, just like any other person is. I wish her all the best. (The last sentence is unnecessary if you really can’t bring to like the idol. But then again, why are you even watching in the first place? Just to criticize? I see. If you hate the idol too much and he's/she's a guest in some show you watch, the forward button is just one click away. We wouldn't want to hurt your "poor" eyes, would we?)
IDK about you, but I have this motto in life that I try to live by as much as I can: “When you like something, embrace it. When you hate something, leave it alone.”
If you don’t like a post, scroll past it. If something you hate shows up in your dashboard, there’s always Tumblr savior for that. If you see tweets you don’t like, there’s always that Block button over there. Then again, we choose who we follow in social networking sites, so you do have a choice. Unfollow if you have to. That’s better than pretending to be “friends” with someone whom you clearly can’t stand the guts of and hate the things she posts. Who cares if your number of followers’ decrease? At least you’re being true to yourself.
And then there’s this:
“You guys are just butthurt fans who can’t deal with the fact that your oppas/unnies are jerks/are in relationships/suck/didn’t win the award/disbanded/about to disband/are about to undergo another member change/lack popularity/are talentless.”
I seriously don’t get the last one though. Don’t all humans have talents? My talent is reblogging at the speed of lightning but it’s okay, at least I have one. And besides, do you really think THIS and THAT idol would actually manage to debut if he/she didn’t have even an ounce of talent in him/her? You know how hard idol training in South Korea is. If you can’t show even a sliver of appreciation, the least you can do is shut up.
According to the urban dictionary, BUTTHURT means: Getting your feelings hurt, being offended or getting all bent out of shape because of something petty or stupid.
I guess we’re all butt-hurt in a way. And it’s ironic how self-righteous people can get when they accuse idols they claim they “don’t like” of THIS and THAT. How did you even know if what you’re saying is actually the truth? You said it yourself, you don’t like the idol, why watch his/her shows? And the more pressing matter is, how did you even come to know of his/her attitude problem and rumors when you don’t like him/her? And if you're an ex-fan, it's not called "ex" for nothing. Get over it and leave your "ex-bias" alone. It’s ironic, really - you talking shit about something as petty as butthurt fans, is you being butthurt yourself. Yes, I'm butthurt too. I have no excuses for it. I just am.
I can’t reiterate this enough: If you don’t like it, then don’t watch. Most importantly, learn to respect others because there will always be someone who’s bound to like the things you don’t like. We’re all unique. We have different tastes. What you consider as hot, I may consider as deeply disturbing. So what if my sister likes pink but I hate it? Doesn't change the fact that we have the same blood running on our veins. So what if your friend likes this member but you like another? Isn't that better so that you don't have to "fight" for one member? At the end of the day, all that really matters is that we learn to live in harmony with each other, or at least, as harmonious as the crazy K-POP world allows us to be. SJNBJDBFJDEBFEDJWEJ? LOL
It’s confusing really. When you like this idol and you find someone who claims him to be her "husband" too, you go all ape shit and say: “WTF oppa is mine. Go away you bitch.” I’m not saying all fans are like that, but I have seen quite a lot of them. On the other hand, when you find someone who likes someone else, you’d say: “Oh my god why do you like him? My oppa is so much better. Did you eat something wrong that made you stan him? Your oppa is ugly and talentless and ew I don’t even want to be friends with you anymore.”
Seriously, WTF…? If all of us had the same likes, we’d probably end up killing each other. Can you imagine if all the people in the world wanted an iPhone4S for a phone? I mean, there had already been chaos at a certain Apple Store because thousands of Apple enthusiasts were fighting for the newly released iPhone. How much more havoc will it wreak if all the 7.007 billion people of the world wanted an iPhone4S for a phone. We’d be in war, figuratively, that is. I’m not an Apple endorser though, js.
You like yaoi? I don’t like it but it’s okay.
You like genderswitch? I don’t like it but it’s okay.
You ship _________ with _________? I don’t like that pairing because I ship ___________ with ____________ but it’s okay.
Get real. It’s not like any of these ships are real anyway, no matter how much we say that ______________ is real. We could only hope. But in the end, we’ll never ever know.
REMEMBER: RESPECT GOES A LONG WAY PEOPLE.
Any way you look at it, it's all just a bunch of kids trying to be "mature." Perhaps people just has this thing against being proven wrong - we don’t like the feeling we get when we suddenly seem stupid when our words turn out to be wrong; we despise it, hate it, absolutely loathe it. We don’t want to admit that we were in the wrong, so we defend ourselves through excuses. We make up excuses after excuses and in the end, it turns out that we’re deceiving no one else but OUR OWN SELVES. It’s quite simple, actually. Accept your mistakes and learn to correct them. Say sorry, don’t do it again, and move on.
K-POP used to be a haven where everybody got to be respected for their views, which, you have to admit, are not very much welcome in reality. As a K-POP fan, I know all of you would know about the discrimination against us. There had always been this social stigma against K-POP fans and we had no one else to lean on but each other. It may have been through the internet - a mere virtual friendship - BUT A FRIENDSHIP NONETHELESS. The internet gave us an outlet for our K-POP frustrations, keeping us from going crazy as we had no one to spazz with in real life. K-POP used to be a haven, but all it seems to be as of late is nothing but hell.
You may say I’m contradicting myself in writing this long ass post about butthurt fans when I’m basically being butthurt myself by paying them heed. Then again, didn’t I say we’re all butthurt in a way? And you may think it’s stupid of me to even try to point these things out, when it clearly wouldn’t make a difference. After all, these are just words and will remain as that unless someone realizes the essence of what I’m trying to convey.
Yes, I guess it’s stupid; but if it makes at least ONE fan change his/her ways/view for the better, then IT WOULD BE WORTH IT. We all act stupid at one point or another, anyway. Sometimes, stupidity is the only thing we can cling to, so as to remain sane despite all the storms and turmoils we are going through in life.
With this, I end with a piece of some unsolicited advice. There’s so much more to the real world when you finally go out there and fend for yourself. It wouldn’t matter if your boss is being plain mean. He/She will be your boss no matter what and you will have to answer to him/her even if you think he's/she’s nothing but a devil who wants nothing else but to make your life harder. You either have to suck it up or quit. And nothing really goes too well when you don’t have money to put food on the table, js.
Instead of spending all of your coffee breaks complaining about the bitch/hag/cunt/witch/devil etc., why not think of ways to better your performance? Surely, you may have done something wrong for your boss to scold you like that. And if you really did nothing and the “bitch” is just PMS-ing and throwing all the shit out on you, BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT, AND CONTINUE TYPING.
One has to rise up back again after falling down. Continue living life and enjoy it as much as you can. Cherish it, it’s the only one you've got. I’m not saying that I’m an expert myself. There are a lot of times when I feel like just crumbling down and giving up. After all, I’m just a mere human as well, struggling to achieve my place in the world and achieve success that I could pride as my own. Then again, we do what we got to do right?^^
Congratulations if you made it this far in reading this nonsensical rant. I LOVE YOU!<3
P.S. I just have a lot of emotions today and have therefore, been overly sensitive when I saw those god awful posts. Blame real life for this.
P.S.S. I might probably get bricked for this so might as well put it under a cut. OTL