Last Code; Part 3a
Title: Last Code (Krislay/Fanxing)
Action, Dystopia, Romance, Angst | NC-17 | Three-shots/Complete
Note: Purely fictional. Slight torture.
Summary: "Because I had always believed that humiliation of pride is more a torture for the kinds of you than physical pain."
Last Code
“What are you talking about?” Yixing abruptly brushes off Jongin’s hands from his shoulders and stood few meters away from him. “Yixing, I heard them talking! Him and Jongdae, it was all a set-up!” Jongin tries to reason out and Yixing shook his head vehemently.
“Jongin, I’m tired and I don’t want any jokes.” Yixing looked at him hard and the latter tried explaining in a calm manner, “Look, Kris had set you up. Luhan didn’t know also and led you here without knowing he brought you to the real hell. Kris lied about everything, he has some sort of revenge to admit to and he is going to kill you in the end. The conspiracies of your father, the cell, the torture, it was all his doings! The Government wasn’t behind your abduction and family’s death, Xing, Kris was behind it. In fact, your father is still alive!”
With a halt of his words, Jongin received himself a blow from Yixing. He stumbled backwards and held his jaw in pain. Damn, Yixing sure has a good fist.
“Don’t you dare speak of things when you have no proof!” Yixing yells at him and Jongin clutches his hair in frustration. “Yixing, I’m telling the truth… You have to believe me, this is also for you.” He tried again with a clipped tone and Yixing refuses to do so.
“I’m tired, Jongin. I’m going to let this pass tonight so don’t you open this rubbish up again.” Yixing threatens which sent Jongin to aggravate once more, “Don’t you understand?! Once he’d known you found out he might kill you in an instant! I’m worried about you, Xing!”
“You don’t know Kris!” Yixing shouts. Jongin’s face turned blank and spats back, “And you think you do?” His temper is at its limit for Yixing now and he couldn’t believe Kris had poisoned his mind this much.
“You’re wrong, Jongin. Kris… Kris could never do that…” Yixing’s voice became stern and that was the cue Jongin needed to give up. A close mind like Yixing’s is impossible to change especially when the latter was blinded with love now.
“Fine. Believe what you wanna believe!” Jongin throws his arms in surrender mode and walked towards the main door. Yixing was about to ask where he was going when Jongin stopped before the doorway, looking half-way at him and said, “I’ll leave the house for awhile. Don’t go looking for me once you have found the truth yourself.”
Before Yixing could call Jongin’s name, the latter had slammed the door shut.
Yixing cursed under his breath. What was wrong with the other so suddenly? Saying Kris had planned to kill him from the start… and Luhan’s departure from the community… it somehow pieced an unknown puzzle together but still, Yixing refuses to acknowledge doubt. It was impossible for Kris to do such things… and he loved Yixing, doesn’t he? He cared for him and said he was safe with him. Kris loves him…
Or maybe Jongin was just wrong about something. Maybe he was just planning a prank and would be back by tomorrow to check if his joke worked on Yixing. Yes, that might be it. Jongin would come back. He will. He just knows it.
Yixing nodded to himself as he buried the previous argument at the back of his mind. This was all a misunderstanding and everything will be over soon. He will act nothing happened because in reality, there’s nothing to be worried about. All is well. He will be alright… Right?
“I don’t know why but I’m really glad you came into my life.” Kris’ voice rang inside his head suddenly that made Yixing’s confused head turned blank. The gentleness on Kris’ expression flashing before his mind, his words mixed with affection softly making its way as a melody through him, and the way Kris had treated him when they are together - it was by no doubt that Yixing had really fallen in love for the leader he was ready to enter the blindside of the said emotion.
That night, Yixing decided to forget what Jongin told him with sleep.
***
“If it isn’t Kim Jongin, what are you doing here at this late hour?” Kris says indifferently after hearing a knock and opens his office door only to see Jongin at his door.
Jongin merely glanced at him as he entered Kris’ office nonchalantly.
He saw the shattered glasses of alcohol on the far end floor of the room and frowned. Did Kris just throw a fit party? He shakes his head only and heard the sound of the door closing behind him. He turns around and saw how Kris only stared at him with crossed arms.
“So, what do you want?” Kris asks once more and this time his voice sounded impatient.
Jongin gave off a small smile before answering, “I had never thought that revenge could be so more of a choice than love, Kris.”
Kris’ face muscles tightened by the words Jongin used. He felt alarmed by the latter’s knowledge and only replied, “What are you talking about, Jongin?”
“Or maybe because there wasn’t love from you at the first place and all was about revenge,” Jongin finished off and stared holes at Kris’ profile. Kris had finally gotten the picture and immediately placed a hold of his knife situated at his back pocket.
“You’re going to kill me? Imprison me for my awareness of your real motive? What will you do, Kris? I’m curious,” Jongin smiled crookedly at the said man. Kris eyed Jongin shrewdly as he thinks if the latter was really looking for a reason to die. “I thought you like Yixing and will protect him? So why are you here provoking me to kill you?” Kris asks.
“I want to protect him. That’s why I’m here. To know about the real truth you are keeping from him. I won’t kill you, Kris. I’m not yet that dumb to risk the whole plan for my selfish desire to murder you,” Jongin drops the smile and started glaring at Kris.
Kris then smirked towards him as he pulled his knife off of its confinement. “What makes you think I won’t kill you though?”
“You’re one capable man short of the team if you’ll do that,” Jongin answers blankly.
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Kris flashed a quick smile before taking his offensive attack towards Jongin.
***
Yixing wakes up from the strangled voice Baekhyun was letting out.
“Baekhyun?” he calls out as he squints through his eyes to adjust at the dim light. The sun was just rising and Yixing felt he only slept for an hour. “Sorry if I woke you up,” Baekhyun apologizes and groans in pain afterwards. Yixing saw his situation and immediately rushed towards Luhan’s bed which Baekhyun was temporarily habitant.
“What happened?” Yixing asks worriedly while Baekhyun struggled to keep his hands on his stomach, body curled up like a child. “I was trying to stand up and tripped, hitting my bruise at the dresser,” Baekhyun tried smiling apologetically but it didn’t last long.
“Wait here,” Yixing sighs and rushed down the stairs. Baekhyun tilted his head in curiosity and then the pain was back again before he could guess what Yixing was upto.
The latter came back in a minute with an ice pack on his hand and sat on the small space beside Baekhyun. The latter then managed a whispered, “You didn’t need to…” but Yixing only smiled softly at him. Baekhyun kept quiet then as he lets Yixing lift his shirt. Yixing saw how blue and purple painted Baekhyun’s whole body. He cringed inwardly when he took it as a reminder of what had happened to him also. Slowly, Yixing ran the ice pack in circle atop Baekhyun’s contusions. The smaller male shut his eyes in slight pain but soon turns to comforting sensitivity.
“I know how it feels,” Yixing gently smiles towards Baekhyun and the other didn’t fail to see it. He lets the cozy cold of the ice pack pass through him as he urges Yixing to go on. Yixing did and continued, “Though your wounds are worst than mine were… I’m glad you escaped from that prison.”
“I studied Aikido and managed to outrun them… But had you not found me in that alley I’d be dead by now. Thank you,” Baekhyun says and the sincerity in his tone was evident that made Yixing smile in response. “It’s no problem,” Yixing coaxes and then checks the ice pack if it was still solid. When time passed over half an hour of them just talking, Yixing decided it was time for Baekhyun to go back to rest.
Baekhyun just nodded like a good kid when Yixing stands up from his bed. When he noticed the older male not going back to his own resting object, Baekhyun frowned and questioned, “Aren’t you going back to sleep also?”
Yixing let out a grin and assured him, “It’s past six so I need to get ready for an assignment. I don’t want Jongin cussing over me for not taking trainings seriously.”
Before he could hear the other’s reply, Yixing had gone out their room.
“Jongin. Now where is that guy,” Yixing utters to himself as he started going through the halls towards Jongin and Chanyeol’s shared room. He knocked two times and there was no answer. “I’m going in,” he notifies before opening the door. There was no Jongin around and the bed didn’t even have a hint of someone lied on it.
Yixing dejected the thought of the other not coming home last night and so proceeded down the living room. From there, he saw Minseok just getting ready to go outside.
“Hey, have you seen Jongin since this sunrise… or last night?” Yixing tried asking but Minseok only frowned at him, “From what I know, Jongin didn’t come back last night because I was awake the whole night for a mission.”
Yixing didn’t know what to answer and Minseok noticed this. “Did you guys fight or something?” he asks in inquiry and because Yixing can’t find a reason to lie to Minseok, he nodded and said, “Just a little misunderstanding, I guess. Should I be worried?”
Minseok smiles a toothy smile before patting Yixing on the shoulder, “Jongin isn’t a type of person to hold grudge against others that long. Don’t worry about it, Xing.”
“Yeah,” is the only word Yixing answered before Minseok lets him go. The latter then pats him one more time and proceeded out the house. Yixing was the only one left in the house with Baekhyun sleeping above, the feeling of solitude slowly creeping inside him.
And just in mere seconds Jongin’s words repeated through his head. “The conspiracies of your father, the cell, the torture, it was all his doings! The Government wasn’t behind your abduction and family’s death, Xing, Kris was behind it. In fact, your father is still alive!”
Yixing shook his head immediately to shake off the growing doubt he once felt for Kris. Kris loved him. Kris cared for him. And he could never do such a thing. He would never doubt him. Because he loves him.
“What are you doing standing there so stiffly?” a voice asked and Yixing snapped his head up to see the subject of his reverie standing before him. He had then finally coped that he was too entranced with his self that he didn’t notice the man entering from the main door.
Without another word being spoken, Yixing lunged himself on Kris’ arms which sent the latter in surprise.
“What happened?” Kris asks worriedly because Yixing wasn’t this clingy before, although he might know the reason why.
Yixing didn’t response and it made Kris pull away slowly and cradled Yixing’s jaws with his hands. He saw utter confusion, doubt, but mostly the affection of the so called love in his eyes. Kris smiled fondly at his lover before saying, “I’m here.”
Kris leaned forward and kissed him. Yixing gave himself away and kissed back. Because the sudden loneliness he felt was far more dominant than the raising doubts that was building at the back of his mind. Should he really rely to his irrational thoughts, he didn’t know anymore. He already accepted in his heart that Kris was everything to him, and being away from the latter was now a nightmare for him.
Bereft of sleep and coherent thought, Yixing lets Kris drag him out the house to his own.
***
“Are you sure you don’t want stay for a little more while?” Kris asks subtly as he watched a naked Yixing getting out of his bed while looking for his clothes on the floor. “I need to go back. Nobody’s there to tend for Baekhyun,” Yixing answers and then puts on his pants and shirt. Kris’ jaw tightened and when Yixing saw it, it was a habit Yixing had learned that held a meaning behind.
“What?” Yixing asks back and Kris then settled on lying back on the comfortable pillow behind him before saying, “Nothing. You could just ask a nurse.”
Yixing smiled slyly and bent down to catch Kris’ lips with his.
“I can’t because I want to be his friend.” Yixing whispers between the kiss and Kris didn’t bother to answer as he held on Yixing’s hair and deepened the kiss more.
When it was leading to another base though, Yixing was the first one to pull away and kissed Kris goodbye on his cheek before dashing out the latter’s room. Kris groaned in dissatisfaction when he heard his door close.
“This is so getting twisted,” he says to himself and threw his forearm over his eyes. It was getting twisted… in a good way.
***
Yixing arrives at the house just in time for lunch. Minseok must have come back for awhile because there were sandwiches on the table that was good for two persons. He smiled in gratitude for the puffed face and grabbed the food for him and Baekhyun to eat. Upon his entrance in their room, he was welcomed with a sight of Baekhyun singing or humming in a melody that was familiar to him also.
“Oh, you’re here,” Baekhyun smiled cheerfully when he caught a glimpse of Yixing.
Yixing nods and smiled back, offering the plate he was holding for Baekhyun to grab his share of the sandwiches. Baekhyun spoke his thanks before he reached for one.
The former seated his self on the study’s chair and dragged it near Baekhyun’s bed for them to talk more closely.
“Are you feeling any better than before?” Yixing asked while taking a bite of his lunch. Baekhyun nodded and waved his free arm and exclaimed, “I can already move this good arm! The medicines helped.”
“Good,” Yixing chuckles and takes another bite. Since he was a fast eater, he stands up right after his second pair of bread and pours the both of them glasses of water. Baekhyun only ate the portion he could manage to eat though and when lunch was done; Yixing takes his guitar from his closet. The younger man watched when Yixing returns to his seat and started tuning his guitar on his lap.
When Yixing caught his stare, the former only grinned, “I know the song you were singing. So if you’re feeling better that you could sing you’re welcome to join me.”
Baekhyun’s face lightened up and Yixing noticed his excitement. He laughs softly before starting on the intro.
Both sang with harmonious voices echoing through the room but Baekhyun was the first one to stop because of his face’s bruises taking their toll. Yixing only smiled in assurance as he continued the song, with Baekhyun listening in cheery silence.
On the last verse of the song, Baekhyun coped with him and ended the song together.
In that instant, Yixing knew he had gained a friend he will protect. And so as Baekhyun, surging gratefulness he wants to let out and repay Yixing back with his kindness. He never really thought they will be this close to each other, especially when it was reality they were dealing now with - where they aren’t higher officials’ sons anymore, just plain citizens of the community.
Though Yixing wanted to stay longer with Baekhyun, he remembered he still hasn’t seen Jongin during the day and he wants to talk with the latter now. He wants to reconcile with the other already and clear any misunderstandings they had.
After advising Baekhyun that he could walk around the city anytime he wants without his supervision, Yixing excused himself from his companion to look for Jongin. Minseok just arrived when Yixing was going out and asked a favor of him to entertain Baekhyun’s questions if he had some. Minseok gladly agreed and Yixing dashed out the house.
The walk around the community was rather unhelpful because he couldn’t see Jongin anywhere. Whether it was the training ground or houses, he wasn’t there. He spotted Joonmyeon in his office though and asked if he saw Jongin.
“No, I haven’t seen him.” Joonmyeon answers and he could see the worry forming on Yixing’s face. Joonmyeon felt guilty for not being helpful and tried coaxing him, “If you guys had a fight, didn’t he even leave an inclination that he’ll be back though?”
The words came back like a slap to Yixing. “I’ll leave the house for awhile. Don’t go looking for me once you have found the truth yourself.”
What truth was it anyways? Yixing shook his head in denial as he is convinced Jongin is wrong with his conclusion and maybe he was just making up a story. But what’s the reason for Jongin to lie to him about Kris? “Just think of it as he’s a panther, I’m a lion, and you’re the prey.” Yixing widened his eyes in utter disbelief.
“Yixing?” Joonmyeon calls him back to earth and the said man snaps his head up in surprise.
“Y-you’re right,” Yixing began stammering and smiled weakly, “He should be back once his head has cooled.”
Joonmyeon smiled in relief and offered if Yixing wanted to have coffee with him. Yixing declined the offer courteously and excused himself out the man’s office. He decided to let Jongin for awhile, knowing he will be back soon. Yixing then took his leave out the community to take his assigned tasks into completion.
***
It’s been two weeks since Yixing saw Jongin. And it was rather getting lonely if not for Minseok and Baekhyun filling the empty house. He hasn’t heard anything from the departed team yet and it was worrying although Minseok trusts Luhan and the other two’s capabilities. Baekhyun slowly regained his strength and chose to stay as a citizen. He didn’t have any news from his family also and he refused to think about it. Kris had dispatched another team for a new out of the city assignment and everyone seemed to get busier and busier.
The schedule was coming near. And Yixing didn’t know if it was dread or hope that was surging inside him.
There was no absolute certainty they will all come out alive. Kris still remained quiet about his plans after the bombing. Yixing can already sense the coming emptiness of his life. While Kris seemed to be more occupied with other things that he couldn’t accompany Yixing for a long time - makes the latter misses Luhan more.
Jongin. Jongin was neither to be seen anywhere also because Yixing learned from Kris that he was part of the dispatched team. Yixing felt a little stab for Jongin not even saying proper goodbye. What was happening with everyone...
“Xing, Kris is coming this way,” Baekhyun nudges the dazed Yixing and the addressed man looks forward to see Kris really approaching. They were walking towards the library and Yixing felt his whole body lighten up. Besides, it has been a week since he last met Kris. Deprive was the word to describe his feeling.
“Yixing,” Kris smiles fondly when he stopped in front of them and turned to Baekhyun also, “Hello, Baekhyun.”
Baekhyun nodded and remembers Kris from his first day in the community and back when he saw them entering Yixing’s apartment months ago. He looked at them and acknowledged the transparent intimacy both shared.
“I hope you feel at home in this place,” Kris says again and Baekhyun smiled back, “Yes, I am. Thanks to Yixing.”
Kris chuckled lightly before looking at Yixing, eyes emanating something. “I still need to talk to Jongdae. I’ll see you around,” he says in a lowered tone as he caressed Yixing’s cheek. It was hard for Yixing to restrain leaning on his touch but he remained still, knowing there was an audience.
Baekhyun looked away and Kris removes his hand slowly. He nodded towards Baekhyun and walked forward away from the two. Yixing heaved a heavy sigh of caught breath and Baekhyun laughs in response. Yixing stared at him and pouted, “What?”
“Nothing, seems like you miss him,” Baekhyun teases and Yixing didn’t reply for ten seconds.
“Everybody’s been busy,” Yixing managed to answer before continued their walk. Baekhyun hummed in mischief as Yixing knows it well. Since their relationship has always been into sex, Yixing also want to be just with Kris closely even if there was no lust included. Time wasn’t friendly with them either because if the other has free time, the other would be busy with the community’s daily dealings.
Baekhyun had also started helping Joonmyeon with his relationship with the town’s people and helps others teach children in the library - adding up to Yixing’s alone time. The latter’s eyes then shifted to Baekhyun and remembers his first week in the place.
“Hey Baekhyun, don’t you miss anything from the city?” Yixing suddenly asked which made Baekhyun looked back at him. The latter pursed his lip in deep thought before answering, “I had a friend there which really made me laugh almost everytime I meet him. But I guess I just need to move on.”
Deciding not to push the subject on, Yixing simply smiled and ruffled Baekhyun’s hair. The younger man protested playfully and both laughed in their silliness.
For the mean time, Yixing forgot the doubt he was forming inside his head again.
Later that night, Yixing was welcomed by a sight of Jongdae standing in their living room.
“Jongdae... what is it?” Yixing tilts his head in confusion at the man’s presence. Jongdae cleared his throat for a second before looking at Yixing impassively, “Yixing,” he started, “I don’t know why I’m even saying this but do you think Kris... loves you?”
Yixing caught his breath in surprise. “What are you talking about?” Yixing asks back calmly and Jongdae seemed conflicted about his choice of words. “No... no, nothing. Forget what I had asked.” Jongdae immediately avoided Yixing and goes for the door. Yixing can’t think of a rational reason for Jongdae to ask such random question so he held back the other by the arm. “What is happening? Are you and Jongin both into this thing about me and Kris?” Yixing tries to make sense of the situation but Jongdae gently removes Yixing’s hand off him.
“I was just asking, Yixing. Jongin and I aren’t in this. Kris has been a mysterious person from the start so I was just worried for him... and you. You two seemed to be so in love with each other...” Jongdae smiled smoothly afterwards which made Yixing question the event more.
“He’s been busy, and sometimes forgets himself to perfect everything. I’m just making sure you’re the one who’ll be able to pull him back,” Jongdae clarifies and without another word, goes out the house.
Yixing was confused than ever. What was with people judging his relationship with Kris? What was with Kris anyways? It couldn’t possibly that Jongin was telling the truth. If, If Kris really was just using him...
Yixing couldn’t bear to think about it.
Instead, he ran outside and in speed, looked for Kris’ house. Jongdae saw him from afar and merely let out a strangled breath.
When Yixing reached Kris’ place, he immediately goes inside his office but found no Kris inside. Yixing felt the building loneliness inside him grow more. He wants to see Kris. He needs Kris. Yixing felt his strength slipping away as he walks out the room lifelessly. From the time he reached the middle section of the stairs, he realized he really didn’t know what to think anymore.
He seats himself on a step before hugging his knees to his chest and rested his forehead on his arms. He was confused as shit. First Jongin tells him Kris was planning on killing him and then disappears. And now Jongdae asking him if he really feels like Kris loves him. It was all about Kris. Now he is closed to asking Kris himself about all of it.
Yixing sighs exasperatedly as he longed for Kris. His heart and his body ached for the man. It was making him crazy it was almost lethal. Should he use neither literal nor figurative words he doesn’t care anymore nor can think rational at the moment. He sighs once more as he questions - what has Kris done to him to be like this? He rested his whole body on the wooden rails then and relaxed.
Without noticing it, Yixing fell asleep.
***
“Xing, what are you doing here,” a familiar voice calls out as a hand lands on Yixing’s shoulder. Just from the touch, the newly woken up male knew who it was already.
Yixing lifts his head up slowly and saw Kris looking worriedly at him. Kris kneeled on a step after two of where Yixing is seated and cupped Yixing’s face with his hand. Yixing couldn’t think properly and just pulled Kris into him.
“What are you doing to me,” Yixing cries out as he buries his face on Kris’ shoulder. Kris didn’t know what to do except hug him back with equal longing. It was then when Yixing pulls away and stared at Kris’ eyes. The evident of sleepless and busy nights showed through those penetrating gaze and Yixing couldn’t help it but whisper, “I want you.”
Kris closed his eyes and hissed in control, “Me too. You just don’t know how much I might break you.”
Yixing didn’t wait a second before he crashed their lips together, hard and deep. Kris obliged on kissing back and realized their position had changed. Yixing’s both knees rested beside Kris’ thighs and with that said, their sensitive areas caught friction. The two groaned in pleasure and Kris knew in that moment that Yixing wouldn’t be able to wait to get to his room.
Kris lets Yixing do what he wants. Deprived of this act they had always shared, Yixing had gotten impatient.
Yixing didn’t waste time. Foreplay wasn’t needed. All he wanted was for Kris to be inside him. There and now. Yixing pulls away from the kiss once again and immediately unbuttoned Kris’ pants and unzipped his fly. Kris growled lowly when he felt warm fingers wrapping around his cock, each veins throbbing for a delicious touch. Yixing licked his lower lip before letting go of Kris and has undone his own pants.
When Kris realized what Yixing was trying to do, his right hand held on the banister of the stairs and his left wrapped around the other’s waist.
“Yixing, are you sure about this?” Kris warns but Yixing only stared at him with half-lidded eyes, mind too settled to be changed.
With one small smile, Yixing guided Kris’ member towards his entrance, slowly and slowly letting it in. He let out muffled scream as the pain overtook him. Kris felt himself going in a tight heat and feels like he will explode in seconds. He saw how Yixing’s face contorted in obvious pain and moves his left hand to hold on his nape, pulling him for a coaxing kiss.
Yixing didn’t stop and swallowed Kris’ cock whole in him. When he was fully seated, both remained still and breathed ragged breaths. It was suffocating and at the same time Yixing felt being filled in. No words were expressed at that short period of time when Kris finally said, “You wanted this. There is no turning back.”
Kris then placed his hand around Yixing’s waist again and lifted the boy up. Yixing saw the smirk on Kris’ face and before he could think of a reply, he was pulled down and felt a bundle of nerves being hit dead on. It sent Yixing’s sight blast in white as he continued the same movement. The hot friction of dry skin to dry skin was overbearing and painful but pleasure was still present - pleasure that Yixing was looking for.
Yixing was the one in charge of the pace as Kris held him securely. Yixing gave in to his volition and rolled his hips before riding Kris in his own accord. Kris was in too deep that made Yixing stop from breathing. Kris moaned in ecstasy as Yixing continued his movements. Bouncing up and down, two men lost in lust paradise, and it was all they care before Kris bit on Yixing’s shoulder and started moving also.
The sound of Kris’ balls slapping on Yixing’s buttocks emanated through the whole place and moans and groans joined. In every abrasion of Kris’ member into Yixing’s dry hole bore screams of pain and pleasure from Yixing while Kris started pumping his partner in aid of his aching delight.
Until Yixing sat on wholly and felt the tip of Kris’ cock reached the end of him. Kris felt the tightened heat suddenly that made him release his cum inside the other. Yixing groans at the moment white seeds touched his prostate and Kris’ hand on his own didn’t help as he came between their clothed abdomens also.
Yixing resumed his actions until Kris’ member was pumped dry. Kris lets go of Yixing’s spent member also and Yixing’s head fell on Kris’ shoulder. Panting, Yixing prolonged the moment of silence and didn’t move a muscle. Kris did the same and let his partner breathe first and so as him.
When Yixing lifts his head once more, he smiled genuinely at Kris and whispered, “I missed you.”
Kris stifled back a groan as he kissed Yixing’s forehead hard. Yixing then lifted himself up and pulls off from Kris to sit beside him. Kris watched him silently then before giving off another playful smirk. “Now that you’ve started it, I don’t think it’ll be that easy to escape.” Kris stood up, only pulled up his fly and suddenly carried Yixing. Yixing widened his eyes in surprise when Kris carried him up the stairs towards his office to his room, the night not yet done for them.
Forgetting the reason why Yixing was even there, he decided that Kris was enough to be a reason he could trust him.
***
The following day it was as if Yixing’s needs were replenished from only one night to last him a day. Then another day, after another, and turned into a week whereas Kris was hard to catch up on again it has become a cycle.
And the schedule of the bombing was in a month and Yixing fixed on doing his list of tasks fast. He wants to help no matter what and finish off the government quickly. His father might have wanted this for the country also because he knows; he knows the people knew of his good intentions for his own land. But because his father was now nowhere alive, there couldn’t be any possibility he will ever witness of what to come.
“Your father is still alive!”
Yixing shook his head frantically as he pushes Jongin’s voice at the back of his mind.
His daytime trance was then broken when Baekhyun entered the house cheerfully. “I’m back!” Baekhyun exclaims as he walked into the living room and placed the heavy books he got from the library on the coffee table. The air the force had produced blew up Yixing’s fringes up lightly.
“Where did you find the power to carry all these on your way?” Yixing asked curiously while browsing through the thick covered novels in front of him.
“Oh, that,” Baekhyun starts and unconsciously placed his hand behind his neck, saying, “Kris helped me carry them.”
Yixing looks at him immediately and said, “He was with you?”
“Yeah, we were taking the same path and he offered some help. He told me to tell you he misses you but I noticed he was in a hurry so…” Baekhyun didn’t end what he was saying when he realized Yixing got what he was trying to explain. Yixing then let out a sigh before taking a book to check out.
Baekhyun then plopped on the couch beside him to join his book browsing.
“Oh, right, so you’re like friends now with Kris?” Yixing grinned sheepishly and Baekhyun merely nodded, engrossed to the book he decided to read and answers, “Yeah, I usually bump on him sometimes and have small talks. He seems nice.”
Yixing responded with a chortle which sent Baekhyun looking back at him. The former saw the frown on his face and tried stirring from his laugh and says, “Nice? That’s far from the adjective I’ll use when I first met him.”
Baekhyun mouthed an ‘O’ with his lips and chuckled, “Well, plot twist.”
Yixing pursed his lips to restrain from laughing once again. He can only shake his head and thankful that Baekhyun and Kris seemed to get along just well. Baekhyun had filled in the empty feeling Jongin and Luhan left which Yixing feels grateful for. Perhaps for a short time being, the uneasiness within him will calm down.
The next occurrence of Kris and Yixing’s meeting wasn’t to the latter’s liking at all.
It turns out that Kris needed to include Yixing to another team that will be sent to another city. The team needs to discreetly obtain the shipped weapons from a source and it will take three to four days to accomplish it, excluding the amount of time of travel.
“So I won’t be around for, like, a week,” Yixing said calmly as he leans his weight on the couch he was sitting on. Kris in front of him only nodded sternly. “I’d hate to send you off but the group’s short of one person.” Kris coaxes after standing up from his seat, walking towards Yixing.
“You will be with Sehun, Minseok, and five fellow members. Yixing, promise me you’ll come back safe,” adds Kris when he reached few centimeters away from the younger male, tilting his chin with his finger. Yixing looked at him blankly before smiling with mirth, “Of course, I will.”
Grabbing Kris’ wrist, Yixing pulled the latter into him for a searing kiss.
***
Yixing was with the team when they entered the boat waiting for them in the docks. What he didn’t expect was Jongdae’s presence in it.
“Kris asked me to deliver something to Chanyeol so I’m boarding with you. Though my stop is still far ahead from yours,” Jongdae had explained himself when he saw Yixing’s confused expression. It came into an idea if Yixing could have a glance on Luhan but knowing mission came first, Yixing managed to restrain himself from asking.
“How is your new friend doing?” Jongdae opens up a new subject. Yixing then realized Jongdae was going to stay on the rails for a chat with him. Yixing then smiled a little as he leans on the boat’s rail, answering, “Baekhyun? He’s fine. I think he’s enjoying his time in the town. I know he’ll be fine with Joonmyeon.”
Jongdae smiled back and decided to support his weight with his elbows on the bars, sea air blowing across him.
“Jongdae, uhm, about the other day…” Yixing starts but Jongdae cut him off, “Forget what I said that night. It was just the random troll of me.” There was a light laugh sounded next which made Yixing rest the case.
“Well, good luck meeting on Chanyeol then!” Yixing grins cheerily, changing the mood suddenly. Jongdae though sensed the sincerity behind it and laughed, “You’re really weird. Maybe that is why Kris is so fond of you.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Yixing’s smile turns into a sheepish one and stared back to the sea before them. Jongdae remained quiet and just stayed there, the engines the only sound he could hear and the ripples of water coming behind it. Perhaps, Yixing’s genuine affection for Kris would alter some decisions in the future.
It was after minutes when Minseok called them in to plan the careful process of their task. Since Jongdae wasn’t taking any part of it, he told Yixing to go in first. The latter frowned at first but still went in. Jongdae then faced the water once more and saw the wide horizon of blue shades.
***
“Jongdae… what brings you here?” Chanyeol asks in surprise when he saw who was at the door of the apartment they were staying in.
Jongdae merely nodded before giving Chanyeol something.
“Kris wanted you to have it. But he said you will only open it on the schedule.” Jongdae warns as he reached out a small cube box and Chanyeol immediately accepts it.
Chanyeol only looked at the thing on his hand before sighing, “So we’re just going to wait to know what’s in his head.”
“I should be going now.” Jongdae said instead, turning on his heels to walk away from the warehouse. Chanyeol didn’t stop him. He just looked at Jongdae’s back before going back the apartment himself.
Jongdae then took his time walking through the empty street.
And a sudden question came out of his lips, “Would you really end this in your crucial way, Kris?”
***
Yixing came home with an excited feeling inside him. He needed to see Kris. It was the first thing he wanted to do the first second he set foot on the community’s ground. Even Minseok noticed and just didn’t mention something about it.
As they brought the equipments they had acquired - which lead to a shootout with rogues but the team managed to come back whole - Yixing and the others finished the moving in no time.
And as always, Yixing was the one who will come up to Kris for the reporting.
“Seize him!” Minseok jokes at him and then laughed. Yixing went along with the other and merely shook his head as he went out the storage room. “Say hi to Baekhyun for me when you get home,” Yixing said one last time before Minseok nodded.
When Minseok did go back to their house, he immediately saw Baekhyun on the couch, sitting too straight to be slouching.
“Are you trying to imitate a statue?” Minseok smiled as he closed the door behind him and removes his shoes. Baekhyun jumped in surprised and looks at Minseok.
“I-… I’m just… well, nevermind. How was your assignment?” Baekhyun blinks for a few times as if he was blinking away some thoughts. Minseok didn’t think about it and just answered, “We got it well done. Oh, and Yixing wanted to say hi because he was assigned to report to Kris now.”
Baekhyun froze once again and this time, Minseok stopped his tracks to look at him. “You really look stricken. What’s wrong?”
Baekhyun shook his head and stood up, turning his back from the other, “I was just tired from cleaning the library.”
“Oh… okay then, rest for now,” Minseok shrugs and jogged his way to the stairs. Baekhyun let out a sigh of relief before guilt flashed through his facial expression.
***
“We only have three weeks before the bombing,” Jongdae said as a statement while standing before the window on Kris’ left side of his desk. Kris nodded in agreement while rummaging through the blueprints he was studying.
“Kris,” Jongdae calls out and this time, the said man lifted his head to look back at him.
“Are you really going to... break him?” Jongdae asks now with unreadable eyes. Kris looked back with the same nonchalance he held.
“Yes.” Kris finally looks away and continued analyzing the prints on his desk. Jongdae only sighed and then he saw someone approaching from the window. He saw Yixing walking towards the building and Jongdae looked at Kris who was occupied with his current work. He then decided to take this opportunity. Without second word, Jongdae went out the room.
“Jongdae-,” Yixing called in surprise when Jongdae opened the door before he could even hold the knob. He looks at the composed man before him and suddenly, Jongdae grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the nearest room.
It turned out to be the dark room Tao uses for his handworks of codes and photographs and Yixing could only see Jongdae on red color. He doesn’t really understand why the other dragged him into that room and asked, “Why did you bring me here?”
“I need to talk to you alone. And… I need it away from Kris’ ears,” Jongdae answers back as he lets go of Yixing. The latter frowned only in response and Jongdae continued looking at him with serious concern.
“Yixing,” Jongdae started, “I don’t have much time. I should have told you earlier before something happened to Jongin… Before… I mean… fuck!” Yixing’s expression turned to a confused one as he watch Jongdae deal with his choice of words.
“Jongdae, I don’t know what’s happening with you but I really need to-,”
“Kris is not the one you opt to believe he is.” Jongdae ended and Yixing fell more confused, and angry.
“This is your last chance. You have to get out of here. You can still escape. Kris was the one responsible why you are even here. He ordered Chanyeol and Kyungsoo to torture you, to make believe that your father is executed for conspiracy so that your fate will land here. Luhan is led to believe that also but no one’s here will go save you instead yourself. Walk out from this community, Yixing. Zhang is still alive, go back to him, you’re not safe here because… because Kris is going to kill you.” Jongdae said in a fast tempo of words and Yixing didn’t know if he will going to snap in rage or stay frozen forever.
He remained silent for a minute as he stared straight at the wall in front of him. Jongdae closed his eyes and opened them again, this time he spoke slowly, “I know it’s hard to believe but I’m telling the truth. I’m Kris’ most trusted ally so I know all of his plans.”
“Then why are you betraying him by saying this,” Yixing asked in a small voice, still in a state of daze and disbelief.
Jongdae runs his hand through his hair in frustrations as he answered, “It’s because I thought he will be saved from his hunger for revenge! I thought… that he won’t be able to do the part of his plan about you if you love each other. I thought his love was genuine. I thought…”
Yixing finally looked at him in the eye. And the pain and comprehension within those eyes made Jongdae learn that his message was understood.
“I can’t say anything more than this, Zhang Yixing. You should escape. You should just go,” Jongdae says in a calm voice and Yixing flinched from the tone.
“Wait. Then Jongin is telling the truth?” Yixing suddenly remembers and Jongdae didn’t reply. “You said something about Jongin. What happened to him? He isn’t sent into a mission, is he?” Yixing taunts and Jongdae shook his head, “I can’t tell you what Kris had done to him. You need to go.”
Yixing didn’t move but realization dawn to him.
Everything was made up from the beginning until now.
And he fell for it. He fell for it and now he knows how stupid he is for believing on a false love Kris made him feel. It now made him feel pathetic.
Yixing felt himself laughing bitterly before saying, “I’m so stupid.”
Jongdae didn’t dare say another word before proceeding towards the door, ignoring Yixing’s pained expression through the red light. “I hope you find your father.” He last said before leaving Yixing all by himself in the dark room. Where tears had gathered and fell from the lone man’s eyes.
***
Yixing felt betrayed. Well, betrayed is an understatement because he was tortured, deceived, and worst, he was being planned to be killed. And what hurts the most is that the root of this all is the man he thought that will never hurt him.
Kris.
The name itself felt venom on his tongue.
Jongin was right. He was right all this time. Kris never cared about him, never even planned to protect him at the first place. Kris never loved him.
But then the images started going back as a memory; Kris looking at him fondly whenever they meet, the words he said ‘you’re safe with me’, the lingering touches he gave him, soft spoken words of affection, and the way he smiled genuinely at him.
It was all an illusion.
It was a pretended relationship between him and Kris.
But it still hurts - knowing the truth hurts. Yixing finds it hard to breathe. He didn’t know what to think but the aching part of his chest. It was all too much to bear. All the grieving he did for his father was nonsensical for he was alive, his father is alive, and so is his mother. He didn’t lose anything.
He didn’t lose anything but himself.
He lost to Kris. He let the other take the whole of him - his mind, his heart, and even his sanity. The discrepancy of it all was devastating. Had he not fell for Kris, maybe leaving now won’t be a problem. But that is what is happening, Yixing finds himself in front of Kris’ door.
He should have left. Escaped this hellhole he is in.
However, he didn’t. He was already knocking on Kris’ door. The belief of needing to see him if he could prove that Kris has no heart at all was the delusion he decided to carry out. One could never be that good in acting like you cared; at least that was what Yixing believed. Kris might have gained affection for him, even just a little, and that hope was enough for Yixing to have the courage to see the one who betrayed him.
“Come in,” the voice answered and Yixing took a deep breath, emotions in turmoil as he didn’t know what to feel. Fear? Sadness? Anger? Hate?... or love?
It was the last when he entered the room. Kris was leaning his body on his desk with his hands in his pockets, obviously waiting for someone - none other than Yixing. Kris smiled suddenly and asked, “I’m glad you came back safe.”
“I…. I did,” Yixing croaked and cleared his throat. All coherent thoughts of anger and despise flew out the window. Why does he need to appear like a weakling in front of Kris? Why wouldn’t he just confront the man, to ask if everything Jongdae told him was true and to know where in the world was Jongin?
Without a second to think of another word, Yixing felt himself being enveloped in an embrace. Where his cheek landed on a chest so familiar he instinctively leaned on his whole weight - realizing Kris had took him in his arms.
“I’ve missed you,” Kris whispered as he rested his head on his. The gentleness behind his voice made Yixing want to cry. He wasn’t prepared for this - he didn’t want to see the soft Kris because he knows he will give in.
And when they pulled apart, Kris looked at him with those eyes. Yixing almost believe they were real emotions Kris showed, the longing and love he saw there. He should be backing away and be angry at the man who turned his life into this. But then again, at the back of his mind, this is where he wants even though in the end, he’ll die staying.
Death wasn’t within those eyes and suddenly, Yixing’s lips was taken by the former. Kris tilted Yixing’s chin up and both shared a slow fervent kiss. Yixing thinks Kris wasn’t this gentle before. But he was lost in words as Kris nipped at his lower lip and then kissed him whole again. Yixing unconsciously opened up and the former took it a cue to push in his tongue, exploring every inch of Yixing’s warm mouth. Tongues sliding with each other as Kris kept the pace slow.
Yixing wants to know why he’s even here, accepting everything, of every fake little thing.
And there is a sudden flash inside his mind. He loves Kris.
That was not a lie. And Yixing doesn’t understand himself anymore.
Kris’ lips moved down south to his neck and collarbone, careful not to blow air on that sensitive part. Yixing angles his head to give more access and felt those thin soft lips give him pecks. There were arms wrapping around his waist now and Yixing let himself be dragged over the bed.
When they landed on the sheets, Yixing felt a tear roll down his cheek like he was going to fall into a sea and drown. Now he had understood he was now doomed forever.
But there was something different to the present, Yixing realized. He noticed how Kris gently removed his shirt, worshipping his upper body with his lips and tongue which made Yixing cringe in undeniable pleasure. It was wrong to feel this way right after he knew the truth except this isn’t the Kris he was expecting to see. He anticipated a cold, rough, aggressive Kris dominating everything but out of all times, the affectionate one welcomed him instead.
And it became Yixing’s weakness.
He could feel every cell in his body respond to Kris. His fingers running along his now bare thighs, shivering under those penetrating eyes, and the usual kisses Kris would give him.
“I missed you. It wasn’t the same without you near me,” said Kris as he leans in to his ear. Yixing moaned through it. He felt fingers making their way in him and Kris staring at him like he was the most attractive person in the world didn’t help.
Kris steadied for a moment and finally said gently, “I love you.”
Yixing wanted to cry.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Kris shouldn’t be making him love him more than he could love him now. Because it was too much. Too much pain and misery that thinking only it was all false…
“I love you too. So much.” Yixing whimpers as he wraps his arms around Kris’ neck and pulled him for a kiss, and to hide his tears escaping through his eyes.
It was then that Kris entered him Yixing found an excuse to shed his tears. If only this was all true that there was no pretending, no false hopes and pretense; it would all be better. But reality has the power to suck all hopes out of one’s life and this was one of its examples.
With every thrust and pound Yixing could hear Kris’ breaths on his ear, whispering soothing words.
The night went in a slow pace of savors and fondness that Yixing thinks he’s going to melt. They made love in a different rhythm they haven’t done before and a fear crept inside Yixing’s mind. He fears that it was going to be the first… and last intimate action he’ll have with Kris.
So favors the yearning and Yixing treasured every bits of the minute he was with Kris that night.
***
Yixing woke up with his chest tightening in pain. He couldn’t breathe. He wanted to let it out now. All he could see was the lamp’s light at the nightstand. He struggles to sit down and held on his chest, clutching it as if it’ll stop the pain.
He looks at the clock on the wall opposite him and realized it was only four in the morning. And then his eyes landed on the person beside him. Kris. He was sleeping quietly beside him, oblivious of the things outside his dream world.
And then the sudden memories of everything came back again. The cell, the torture, the grief of a false death, Luhan, Jongin, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo… Yixing gasped as he remembered the moment before Chanyeol left with the others.
Yixing turns to the other two and Chanyeol was the first one to answer, “Thanks, Yixing.” Kyungsoo repeated the same gratitude and Yixing only tilted his head in bewilderment.
“Your wounds… did they turn into scars?” Chanyeol asks suddenly, voice impassive. Yixing shook his head when he realized that Chanyeol was talking about his wounds on his back. “Good,” Chanyeol gave him a small smile before nodding. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo stared at him as if they’ve done something to him that they couldn’t say, or was it only his imagination?
And… “Or there is no conspiracy at all.” Kyungsoo interjects. Everyone was then trying to decipher as to why The Government targeted Yixing’s family.
Yixing fell numb. Kris had planned everything so well. He just clearly used Yixing and his emotions. Yixing didn’t know what kind of revenge Kris was using him for but it now made Yixing clear his thoughts.
He was angry at Kris. Anger and hate swirled inside him. Kris right beside him gave Yixing an opportunity to act to his anger. Before he knows it, Yixing stood up from the bed and grabbed something from his pants.
He slips into his clothes, planning to escape now that it was clear Kris never really loved him, and stood before Kris’ sleeping figure. Yixing thought of all the things Kris has done, every reasons he need to despise Kris, and lifted his knife - the thing he acquired from his pocket.
He wanted to kill Kris. No matter what freedom and priority the leader had to accomplish, Yixing for once wanted to lift the knife and kill Kris in his sleep. Because it wasn’t right, using others as weapon for revenge, ruining his life for his own sake, Yixing held up the sharp thing and took a moment to aim for the heart.
And when he tried to force the knife down…
The blade fell off from his hand and onto the floor.
There was a sob. And then whimpers of pain and despair. Yixing couldn’t do it. He can’t as he stared at the knife just meters away from his feet. He let out the tears he’d been keeping and collapsed on the bed, facing Kris as he let the hot liquid pour out from his eyes. He curled into a ball and hugged his knees, trying his hardest not to wake up Kris because right at this moment, he was content to watch Kris in his peaceful sleep.
He felt weak and had realized he couldn't kill Kris no matter what the latter did. He was already blinded by his love for the other. And he couldn’t be pathetic anymore than this.
Maybe if tomorrow, if he’ll run away, he’ll be able to move on.
Perhaps for now, he just wants to see Kris. Before he goes back to a life he had turned back into.
***
Kris opened his eyes when he finally heard the relaxed breathing of his lover, no more choking sounds of tears - only steady breathing. He saw Yixing sleeping soundly beside him, face so close to his.
There was an obvious mask of pain on Yixing’s face but Kris decided to ignore it, knowing perfectly he was the reason behind that agony. He stands up quietly and walked on the other side of the bed. And there he found the knife, lying on the floor and completely unused.
He turns his head to look at the back of a sleeping Yixing and sighs, holding the blade in his hand. “Why didn’t you do it?” were the words that came out of the leader’s mouth before walking out the room completely, leaving Yixing to his sleep alone.
A few hours passed, Yixing finally woke up with the sun blazing from the window, hurting his eyelids because of the brightness. He sits down slowly as he bit by bit forgets the pain all over his body. He stands up from the bed, fully clothed and stepped on the carpeted floor at his side. There he realized there was a missing object which was supposed to be on that floor.
He felt panic rise from his body. The knife which he planned using on killing Kris was supposed to be there. Panic stricken, Yixing felt his blood going to his head.
He immediately went out the room towards Kris’ office and saw Kris, standing or more like leaning on his desk the way he saw him yesterday again. Only this time one hand was only in his pocket and the other... was holding Yixing’s knife.
“I saw this on the floor when I woke up...” Kris says in a cold tone and that moment Yixing felt shivers down his spine. It was fear he was feeling right now. There was no gentle Kris anymore. And maybe this was the real one he is facing now. “What’s it for? Why are you bringing it?” asks Kris again and this time, he looked straight through Yixing’s eyes.
Yixing swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and stammered, “Th-that is nothing. I need.. I need to go.” Yixing tried walking fast towards the door but Kris’ words stopped him, “Were you trying to kill me..?”
“You...” Kris continued, “How did you find out?”
Yixing finally turned around and faced Kris. Both of them know what Kris was implying to and Yixing sensed his heart dropping. “How come? Did Jongin managed to tell you? Wait, you can’t possibly had contact with Chanyeol...”
The way things came out from Kris’ lips sounding so casual made Yixing cringe in repugnance. Why was he so calm about this?
“I’ve put Jongin into silence so how did you know?” Kris asked in a relaxed tone again and this time, there is a visible smirk formed by his lips. Yixing snapped. “What did you do to Jongin?”
Kris smiled more. “How would I know? He’s in a quiet place where you can never find him.”
Yixing didn’t know him anymore. With abhorrence streaming through his mind, Yixing leaped in attack, planning to hit Kris but the latter was fast enough to grab his wrist and turn it around. Now Yixing was hell bent on the desk with a knife planted to protrude across his throat, arm twisted behind him held by Kris.
“Too bad I’m ten years experienced than you,” Kris whispers through his ear and this pained Yixing more. Because it was the same voice that whispered love to him the night before but now it came to be the man who holds the knife on his throat.
Yixing didn’t speak and only panted, thinking of a way to escape Kris’ hold.
He doesn’t want to appear weak anymore. He struggles to his hold but Kris stayed on that position and laughed triumphantly.
Suddenly, he lets go and Yixing felt a needle pierced through his skin of his neck. And then his eyes blurred, his knees getting weak.
Kris held him in his arm and dragged him somewhere. He could hear the latter speaking and chuckle, “I’m not going to kill you yet. I still need to show to your father that I hold you captive. Oh boy I can’t wait to see his face. He will be damned.”
Yixing didn’t find any strength to answer. What did his father do to Kris anyways? Why was revenge so important and ruined the man in front of him. Who was the real Kris?
And then suddenly he felt his body hitting a wall. He didn’t even have the slightest voice to mouth out his pain. He just sat there, in that blurry room of white, reminding him of the prison cell. And then he saw the figure that dragged him there walk out from the room and maybe from his life also.
Part 3b
Action, Dystopia, Romance, Angst | NC-17 | Three-shots/Complete
Note: Purely fictional. Slight torture.
Summary: "Because I had always believed that humiliation of pride is more a torture for the kinds of you than physical pain."
Last Code
“What are you talking about?” Yixing abruptly brushes off Jongin’s hands from his shoulders and stood few meters away from him. “Yixing, I heard them talking! Him and Jongdae, it was all a set-up!” Jongin tries to reason out and Yixing shook his head vehemently.
“Jongin, I’m tired and I don’t want any jokes.” Yixing looked at him hard and the latter tried explaining in a calm manner, “Look, Kris had set you up. Luhan didn’t know also and led you here without knowing he brought you to the real hell. Kris lied about everything, he has some sort of revenge to admit to and he is going to kill you in the end. The conspiracies of your father, the cell, the torture, it was all his doings! The Government wasn’t behind your abduction and family’s death, Xing, Kris was behind it. In fact, your father is still alive!”
With a halt of his words, Jongin received himself a blow from Yixing. He stumbled backwards and held his jaw in pain. Damn, Yixing sure has a good fist.
“Don’t you dare speak of things when you have no proof!” Yixing yells at him and Jongin clutches his hair in frustration. “Yixing, I’m telling the truth… You have to believe me, this is also for you.” He tried again with a clipped tone and Yixing refuses to do so.
“I’m tired, Jongin. I’m going to let this pass tonight so don’t you open this rubbish up again.” Yixing threatens which sent Jongin to aggravate once more, “Don’t you understand?! Once he’d known you found out he might kill you in an instant! I’m worried about you, Xing!”
“You don’t know Kris!” Yixing shouts. Jongin’s face turned blank and spats back, “And you think you do?” His temper is at its limit for Yixing now and he couldn’t believe Kris had poisoned his mind this much.
“You’re wrong, Jongin. Kris… Kris could never do that…” Yixing’s voice became stern and that was the cue Jongin needed to give up. A close mind like Yixing’s is impossible to change especially when the latter was blinded with love now.
“Fine. Believe what you wanna believe!” Jongin throws his arms in surrender mode and walked towards the main door. Yixing was about to ask where he was going when Jongin stopped before the doorway, looking half-way at him and said, “I’ll leave the house for awhile. Don’t go looking for me once you have found the truth yourself.”
Before Yixing could call Jongin’s name, the latter had slammed the door shut.
Yixing cursed under his breath. What was wrong with the other so suddenly? Saying Kris had planned to kill him from the start… and Luhan’s departure from the community… it somehow pieced an unknown puzzle together but still, Yixing refuses to acknowledge doubt. It was impossible for Kris to do such things… and he loved Yixing, doesn’t he? He cared for him and said he was safe with him. Kris loves him…
Or maybe Jongin was just wrong about something. Maybe he was just planning a prank and would be back by tomorrow to check if his joke worked on Yixing. Yes, that might be it. Jongin would come back. He will. He just knows it.
Yixing nodded to himself as he buried the previous argument at the back of his mind. This was all a misunderstanding and everything will be over soon. He will act nothing happened because in reality, there’s nothing to be worried about. All is well. He will be alright… Right?
“I don’t know why but I’m really glad you came into my life.” Kris’ voice rang inside his head suddenly that made Yixing’s confused head turned blank. The gentleness on Kris’ expression flashing before his mind, his words mixed with affection softly making its way as a melody through him, and the way Kris had treated him when they are together - it was by no doubt that Yixing had really fallen in love for the leader he was ready to enter the blindside of the said emotion.
That night, Yixing decided to forget what Jongin told him with sleep.
***
“If it isn’t Kim Jongin, what are you doing here at this late hour?” Kris says indifferently after hearing a knock and opens his office door only to see Jongin at his door.
Jongin merely glanced at him as he entered Kris’ office nonchalantly.
He saw the shattered glasses of alcohol on the far end floor of the room and frowned. Did Kris just throw a fit party? He shakes his head only and heard the sound of the door closing behind him. He turns around and saw how Kris only stared at him with crossed arms.
“So, what do you want?” Kris asks once more and this time his voice sounded impatient.
Jongin gave off a small smile before answering, “I had never thought that revenge could be so more of a choice than love, Kris.”
Kris’ face muscles tightened by the words Jongin used. He felt alarmed by the latter’s knowledge and only replied, “What are you talking about, Jongin?”
“Or maybe because there wasn’t love from you at the first place and all was about revenge,” Jongin finished off and stared holes at Kris’ profile. Kris had finally gotten the picture and immediately placed a hold of his knife situated at his back pocket.
“You’re going to kill me? Imprison me for my awareness of your real motive? What will you do, Kris? I’m curious,” Jongin smiled crookedly at the said man. Kris eyed Jongin shrewdly as he thinks if the latter was really looking for a reason to die. “I thought you like Yixing and will protect him? So why are you here provoking me to kill you?” Kris asks.
“I want to protect him. That’s why I’m here. To know about the real truth you are keeping from him. I won’t kill you, Kris. I’m not yet that dumb to risk the whole plan for my selfish desire to murder you,” Jongin drops the smile and started glaring at Kris.
Kris then smirked towards him as he pulled his knife off of its confinement. “What makes you think I won’t kill you though?”
“You’re one capable man short of the team if you’ll do that,” Jongin answers blankly.
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Kris flashed a quick smile before taking his offensive attack towards Jongin.
***
Yixing wakes up from the strangled voice Baekhyun was letting out.
“Baekhyun?” he calls out as he squints through his eyes to adjust at the dim light. The sun was just rising and Yixing felt he only slept for an hour. “Sorry if I woke you up,” Baekhyun apologizes and groans in pain afterwards. Yixing saw his situation and immediately rushed towards Luhan’s bed which Baekhyun was temporarily habitant.
“What happened?” Yixing asks worriedly while Baekhyun struggled to keep his hands on his stomach, body curled up like a child. “I was trying to stand up and tripped, hitting my bruise at the dresser,” Baekhyun tried smiling apologetically but it didn’t last long.
“Wait here,” Yixing sighs and rushed down the stairs. Baekhyun tilted his head in curiosity and then the pain was back again before he could guess what Yixing was upto.
The latter came back in a minute with an ice pack on his hand and sat on the small space beside Baekhyun. The latter then managed a whispered, “You didn’t need to…” but Yixing only smiled softly at him. Baekhyun kept quiet then as he lets Yixing lift his shirt. Yixing saw how blue and purple painted Baekhyun’s whole body. He cringed inwardly when he took it as a reminder of what had happened to him also. Slowly, Yixing ran the ice pack in circle atop Baekhyun’s contusions. The smaller male shut his eyes in slight pain but soon turns to comforting sensitivity.
“I know how it feels,” Yixing gently smiles towards Baekhyun and the other didn’t fail to see it. He lets the cozy cold of the ice pack pass through him as he urges Yixing to go on. Yixing did and continued, “Though your wounds are worst than mine were… I’m glad you escaped from that prison.”
“I studied Aikido and managed to outrun them… But had you not found me in that alley I’d be dead by now. Thank you,” Baekhyun says and the sincerity in his tone was evident that made Yixing smile in response. “It’s no problem,” Yixing coaxes and then checks the ice pack if it was still solid. When time passed over half an hour of them just talking, Yixing decided it was time for Baekhyun to go back to rest.
Baekhyun just nodded like a good kid when Yixing stands up from his bed. When he noticed the older male not going back to his own resting object, Baekhyun frowned and questioned, “Aren’t you going back to sleep also?”
Yixing let out a grin and assured him, “It’s past six so I need to get ready for an assignment. I don’t want Jongin cussing over me for not taking trainings seriously.”
Before he could hear the other’s reply, Yixing had gone out their room.
“Jongin. Now where is that guy,” Yixing utters to himself as he started going through the halls towards Jongin and Chanyeol’s shared room. He knocked two times and there was no answer. “I’m going in,” he notifies before opening the door. There was no Jongin around and the bed didn’t even have a hint of someone lied on it.
Yixing dejected the thought of the other not coming home last night and so proceeded down the living room. From there, he saw Minseok just getting ready to go outside.
“Hey, have you seen Jongin since this sunrise… or last night?” Yixing tried asking but Minseok only frowned at him, “From what I know, Jongin didn’t come back last night because I was awake the whole night for a mission.”
Yixing didn’t know what to answer and Minseok noticed this. “Did you guys fight or something?” he asks in inquiry and because Yixing can’t find a reason to lie to Minseok, he nodded and said, “Just a little misunderstanding, I guess. Should I be worried?”
Minseok smiles a toothy smile before patting Yixing on the shoulder, “Jongin isn’t a type of person to hold grudge against others that long. Don’t worry about it, Xing.”
“Yeah,” is the only word Yixing answered before Minseok lets him go. The latter then pats him one more time and proceeded out the house. Yixing was the only one left in the house with Baekhyun sleeping above, the feeling of solitude slowly creeping inside him.
And just in mere seconds Jongin’s words repeated through his head. “The conspiracies of your father, the cell, the torture, it was all his doings! The Government wasn’t behind your abduction and family’s death, Xing, Kris was behind it. In fact, your father is still alive!”
Yixing shook his head immediately to shake off the growing doubt he once felt for Kris. Kris loved him. Kris cared for him. And he could never do such a thing. He would never doubt him. Because he loves him.
“What are you doing standing there so stiffly?” a voice asked and Yixing snapped his head up to see the subject of his reverie standing before him. He had then finally coped that he was too entranced with his self that he didn’t notice the man entering from the main door.
Without another word being spoken, Yixing lunged himself on Kris’ arms which sent the latter in surprise.
“What happened?” Kris asks worriedly because Yixing wasn’t this clingy before, although he might know the reason why.
Yixing didn’t response and it made Kris pull away slowly and cradled Yixing’s jaws with his hands. He saw utter confusion, doubt, but mostly the affection of the so called love in his eyes. Kris smiled fondly at his lover before saying, “I’m here.”
Kris leaned forward and kissed him. Yixing gave himself away and kissed back. Because the sudden loneliness he felt was far more dominant than the raising doubts that was building at the back of his mind. Should he really rely to his irrational thoughts, he didn’t know anymore. He already accepted in his heart that Kris was everything to him, and being away from the latter was now a nightmare for him.
Bereft of sleep and coherent thought, Yixing lets Kris drag him out the house to his own.
***
“Are you sure you don’t want stay for a little more while?” Kris asks subtly as he watched a naked Yixing getting out of his bed while looking for his clothes on the floor. “I need to go back. Nobody’s there to tend for Baekhyun,” Yixing answers and then puts on his pants and shirt. Kris’ jaw tightened and when Yixing saw it, it was a habit Yixing had learned that held a meaning behind.
“What?” Yixing asks back and Kris then settled on lying back on the comfortable pillow behind him before saying, “Nothing. You could just ask a nurse.”
Yixing smiled slyly and bent down to catch Kris’ lips with his.
“I can’t because I want to be his friend.” Yixing whispers between the kiss and Kris didn’t bother to answer as he held on Yixing’s hair and deepened the kiss more.
When it was leading to another base though, Yixing was the first one to pull away and kissed Kris goodbye on his cheek before dashing out the latter’s room. Kris groaned in dissatisfaction when he heard his door close.
“This is so getting twisted,” he says to himself and threw his forearm over his eyes. It was getting twisted… in a good way.
***
Yixing arrives at the house just in time for lunch. Minseok must have come back for awhile because there were sandwiches on the table that was good for two persons. He smiled in gratitude for the puffed face and grabbed the food for him and Baekhyun to eat. Upon his entrance in their room, he was welcomed with a sight of Baekhyun singing or humming in a melody that was familiar to him also.
“Oh, you’re here,” Baekhyun smiled cheerfully when he caught a glimpse of Yixing.
Yixing nods and smiled back, offering the plate he was holding for Baekhyun to grab his share of the sandwiches. Baekhyun spoke his thanks before he reached for one.
The former seated his self on the study’s chair and dragged it near Baekhyun’s bed for them to talk more closely.
“Are you feeling any better than before?” Yixing asked while taking a bite of his lunch. Baekhyun nodded and waved his free arm and exclaimed, “I can already move this good arm! The medicines helped.”
“Good,” Yixing chuckles and takes another bite. Since he was a fast eater, he stands up right after his second pair of bread and pours the both of them glasses of water. Baekhyun only ate the portion he could manage to eat though and when lunch was done; Yixing takes his guitar from his closet. The younger man watched when Yixing returns to his seat and started tuning his guitar on his lap.
When Yixing caught his stare, the former only grinned, “I know the song you were singing. So if you’re feeling better that you could sing you’re welcome to join me.”
Baekhyun’s face lightened up and Yixing noticed his excitement. He laughs softly before starting on the intro.
Both sang with harmonious voices echoing through the room but Baekhyun was the first one to stop because of his face’s bruises taking their toll. Yixing only smiled in assurance as he continued the song, with Baekhyun listening in cheery silence.
On the last verse of the song, Baekhyun coped with him and ended the song together.
In that instant, Yixing knew he had gained a friend he will protect. And so as Baekhyun, surging gratefulness he wants to let out and repay Yixing back with his kindness. He never really thought they will be this close to each other, especially when it was reality they were dealing now with - where they aren’t higher officials’ sons anymore, just plain citizens of the community.
Though Yixing wanted to stay longer with Baekhyun, he remembered he still hasn’t seen Jongin during the day and he wants to talk with the latter now. He wants to reconcile with the other already and clear any misunderstandings they had.
After advising Baekhyun that he could walk around the city anytime he wants without his supervision, Yixing excused himself from his companion to look for Jongin. Minseok just arrived when Yixing was going out and asked a favor of him to entertain Baekhyun’s questions if he had some. Minseok gladly agreed and Yixing dashed out the house.
The walk around the community was rather unhelpful because he couldn’t see Jongin anywhere. Whether it was the training ground or houses, he wasn’t there. He spotted Joonmyeon in his office though and asked if he saw Jongin.
“No, I haven’t seen him.” Joonmyeon answers and he could see the worry forming on Yixing’s face. Joonmyeon felt guilty for not being helpful and tried coaxing him, “If you guys had a fight, didn’t he even leave an inclination that he’ll be back though?”
The words came back like a slap to Yixing. “I’ll leave the house for awhile. Don’t go looking for me once you have found the truth yourself.”
What truth was it anyways? Yixing shook his head in denial as he is convinced Jongin is wrong with his conclusion and maybe he was just making up a story. But what’s the reason for Jongin to lie to him about Kris? “Just think of it as he’s a panther, I’m a lion, and you’re the prey.” Yixing widened his eyes in utter disbelief.
“Yixing?” Joonmyeon calls him back to earth and the said man snaps his head up in surprise.
“Y-you’re right,” Yixing began stammering and smiled weakly, “He should be back once his head has cooled.”
Joonmyeon smiled in relief and offered if Yixing wanted to have coffee with him. Yixing declined the offer courteously and excused himself out the man’s office. He decided to let Jongin for awhile, knowing he will be back soon. Yixing then took his leave out the community to take his assigned tasks into completion.
***
It’s been two weeks since Yixing saw Jongin. And it was rather getting lonely if not for Minseok and Baekhyun filling the empty house. He hasn’t heard anything from the departed team yet and it was worrying although Minseok trusts Luhan and the other two’s capabilities. Baekhyun slowly regained his strength and chose to stay as a citizen. He didn’t have any news from his family also and he refused to think about it. Kris had dispatched another team for a new out of the city assignment and everyone seemed to get busier and busier.
The schedule was coming near. And Yixing didn’t know if it was dread or hope that was surging inside him.
There was no absolute certainty they will all come out alive. Kris still remained quiet about his plans after the bombing. Yixing can already sense the coming emptiness of his life. While Kris seemed to be more occupied with other things that he couldn’t accompany Yixing for a long time - makes the latter misses Luhan more.
Jongin. Jongin was neither to be seen anywhere also because Yixing learned from Kris that he was part of the dispatched team. Yixing felt a little stab for Jongin not even saying proper goodbye. What was happening with everyone...
“Xing, Kris is coming this way,” Baekhyun nudges the dazed Yixing and the addressed man looks forward to see Kris really approaching. They were walking towards the library and Yixing felt his whole body lighten up. Besides, it has been a week since he last met Kris. Deprive was the word to describe his feeling.
“Yixing,” Kris smiles fondly when he stopped in front of them and turned to Baekhyun also, “Hello, Baekhyun.”
Baekhyun nodded and remembers Kris from his first day in the community and back when he saw them entering Yixing’s apartment months ago. He looked at them and acknowledged the transparent intimacy both shared.
“I hope you feel at home in this place,” Kris says again and Baekhyun smiled back, “Yes, I am. Thanks to Yixing.”
Kris chuckled lightly before looking at Yixing, eyes emanating something. “I still need to talk to Jongdae. I’ll see you around,” he says in a lowered tone as he caressed Yixing’s cheek. It was hard for Yixing to restrain leaning on his touch but he remained still, knowing there was an audience.
Baekhyun looked away and Kris removes his hand slowly. He nodded towards Baekhyun and walked forward away from the two. Yixing heaved a heavy sigh of caught breath and Baekhyun laughs in response. Yixing stared at him and pouted, “What?”
“Nothing, seems like you miss him,” Baekhyun teases and Yixing didn’t reply for ten seconds.
“Everybody’s been busy,” Yixing managed to answer before continued their walk. Baekhyun hummed in mischief as Yixing knows it well. Since their relationship has always been into sex, Yixing also want to be just with Kris closely even if there was no lust included. Time wasn’t friendly with them either because if the other has free time, the other would be busy with the community’s daily dealings.
Baekhyun had also started helping Joonmyeon with his relationship with the town’s people and helps others teach children in the library - adding up to Yixing’s alone time. The latter’s eyes then shifted to Baekhyun and remembers his first week in the place.
“Hey Baekhyun, don’t you miss anything from the city?” Yixing suddenly asked which made Baekhyun looked back at him. The latter pursed his lip in deep thought before answering, “I had a friend there which really made me laugh almost everytime I meet him. But I guess I just need to move on.”
Deciding not to push the subject on, Yixing simply smiled and ruffled Baekhyun’s hair. The younger man protested playfully and both laughed in their silliness.
For the mean time, Yixing forgot the doubt he was forming inside his head again.
Later that night, Yixing was welcomed by a sight of Jongdae standing in their living room.
“Jongdae... what is it?” Yixing tilts his head in confusion at the man’s presence. Jongdae cleared his throat for a second before looking at Yixing impassively, “Yixing,” he started, “I don’t know why I’m even saying this but do you think Kris... loves you?”
Yixing caught his breath in surprise. “What are you talking about?” Yixing asks back calmly and Jongdae seemed conflicted about his choice of words. “No... no, nothing. Forget what I had asked.” Jongdae immediately avoided Yixing and goes for the door. Yixing can’t think of a rational reason for Jongdae to ask such random question so he held back the other by the arm. “What is happening? Are you and Jongin both into this thing about me and Kris?” Yixing tries to make sense of the situation but Jongdae gently removes Yixing’s hand off him.
“I was just asking, Yixing. Jongin and I aren’t in this. Kris has been a mysterious person from the start so I was just worried for him... and you. You two seemed to be so in love with each other...” Jongdae smiled smoothly afterwards which made Yixing question the event more.
“He’s been busy, and sometimes forgets himself to perfect everything. I’m just making sure you’re the one who’ll be able to pull him back,” Jongdae clarifies and without another word, goes out the house.
Yixing was confused than ever. What was with people judging his relationship with Kris? What was with Kris anyways? It couldn’t possibly that Jongin was telling the truth. If, If Kris really was just using him...
Yixing couldn’t bear to think about it.
Instead, he ran outside and in speed, looked for Kris’ house. Jongdae saw him from afar and merely let out a strangled breath.
When Yixing reached Kris’ place, he immediately goes inside his office but found no Kris inside. Yixing felt the building loneliness inside him grow more. He wants to see Kris. He needs Kris. Yixing felt his strength slipping away as he walks out the room lifelessly. From the time he reached the middle section of the stairs, he realized he really didn’t know what to think anymore.
He seats himself on a step before hugging his knees to his chest and rested his forehead on his arms. He was confused as shit. First Jongin tells him Kris was planning on killing him and then disappears. And now Jongdae asking him if he really feels like Kris loves him. It was all about Kris. Now he is closed to asking Kris himself about all of it.
Yixing sighs exasperatedly as he longed for Kris. His heart and his body ached for the man. It was making him crazy it was almost lethal. Should he use neither literal nor figurative words he doesn’t care anymore nor can think rational at the moment. He sighs once more as he questions - what has Kris done to him to be like this? He rested his whole body on the wooden rails then and relaxed.
Without noticing it, Yixing fell asleep.
***
“Xing, what are you doing here,” a familiar voice calls out as a hand lands on Yixing’s shoulder. Just from the touch, the newly woken up male knew who it was already.
Yixing lifts his head up slowly and saw Kris looking worriedly at him. Kris kneeled on a step after two of where Yixing is seated and cupped Yixing’s face with his hand. Yixing couldn’t think properly and just pulled Kris into him.
“What are you doing to me,” Yixing cries out as he buries his face on Kris’ shoulder. Kris didn’t know what to do except hug him back with equal longing. It was then when Yixing pulls away and stared at Kris’ eyes. The evident of sleepless and busy nights showed through those penetrating gaze and Yixing couldn’t help it but whisper, “I want you.”
Kris closed his eyes and hissed in control, “Me too. You just don’t know how much I might break you.”
Yixing didn’t wait a second before he crashed their lips together, hard and deep. Kris obliged on kissing back and realized their position had changed. Yixing’s both knees rested beside Kris’ thighs and with that said, their sensitive areas caught friction. The two groaned in pleasure and Kris knew in that moment that Yixing wouldn’t be able to wait to get to his room.
Kris lets Yixing do what he wants. Deprived of this act they had always shared, Yixing had gotten impatient.
Yixing didn’t waste time. Foreplay wasn’t needed. All he wanted was for Kris to be inside him. There and now. Yixing pulls away from the kiss once again and immediately unbuttoned Kris’ pants and unzipped his fly. Kris growled lowly when he felt warm fingers wrapping around his cock, each veins throbbing for a delicious touch. Yixing licked his lower lip before letting go of Kris and has undone his own pants.
When Kris realized what Yixing was trying to do, his right hand held on the banister of the stairs and his left wrapped around the other’s waist.
“Yixing, are you sure about this?” Kris warns but Yixing only stared at him with half-lidded eyes, mind too settled to be changed.
With one small smile, Yixing guided Kris’ member towards his entrance, slowly and slowly letting it in. He let out muffled scream as the pain overtook him. Kris felt himself going in a tight heat and feels like he will explode in seconds. He saw how Yixing’s face contorted in obvious pain and moves his left hand to hold on his nape, pulling him for a coaxing kiss.
Yixing didn’t stop and swallowed Kris’ cock whole in him. When he was fully seated, both remained still and breathed ragged breaths. It was suffocating and at the same time Yixing felt being filled in. No words were expressed at that short period of time when Kris finally said, “You wanted this. There is no turning back.”
Kris then placed his hand around Yixing’s waist again and lifted the boy up. Yixing saw the smirk on Kris’ face and before he could think of a reply, he was pulled down and felt a bundle of nerves being hit dead on. It sent Yixing’s sight blast in white as he continued the same movement. The hot friction of dry skin to dry skin was overbearing and painful but pleasure was still present - pleasure that Yixing was looking for.
Yixing was the one in charge of the pace as Kris held him securely. Yixing gave in to his volition and rolled his hips before riding Kris in his own accord. Kris was in too deep that made Yixing stop from breathing. Kris moaned in ecstasy as Yixing continued his movements. Bouncing up and down, two men lost in lust paradise, and it was all they care before Kris bit on Yixing’s shoulder and started moving also.
The sound of Kris’ balls slapping on Yixing’s buttocks emanated through the whole place and moans and groans joined. In every abrasion of Kris’ member into Yixing’s dry hole bore screams of pain and pleasure from Yixing while Kris started pumping his partner in aid of his aching delight.
Until Yixing sat on wholly and felt the tip of Kris’ cock reached the end of him. Kris felt the tightened heat suddenly that made him release his cum inside the other. Yixing groans at the moment white seeds touched his prostate and Kris’ hand on his own didn’t help as he came between their clothed abdomens also.
Yixing resumed his actions until Kris’ member was pumped dry. Kris lets go of Yixing’s spent member also and Yixing’s head fell on Kris’ shoulder. Panting, Yixing prolonged the moment of silence and didn’t move a muscle. Kris did the same and let his partner breathe first and so as him.
When Yixing lifts his head once more, he smiled genuinely at Kris and whispered, “I missed you.”
Kris stifled back a groan as he kissed Yixing’s forehead hard. Yixing then lifted himself up and pulls off from Kris to sit beside him. Kris watched him silently then before giving off another playful smirk. “Now that you’ve started it, I don’t think it’ll be that easy to escape.” Kris stood up, only pulled up his fly and suddenly carried Yixing. Yixing widened his eyes in surprise when Kris carried him up the stairs towards his office to his room, the night not yet done for them.
Forgetting the reason why Yixing was even there, he decided that Kris was enough to be a reason he could trust him.
***
The following day it was as if Yixing’s needs were replenished from only one night to last him a day. Then another day, after another, and turned into a week whereas Kris was hard to catch up on again it has become a cycle.
And the schedule of the bombing was in a month and Yixing fixed on doing his list of tasks fast. He wants to help no matter what and finish off the government quickly. His father might have wanted this for the country also because he knows; he knows the people knew of his good intentions for his own land. But because his father was now nowhere alive, there couldn’t be any possibility he will ever witness of what to come.
“Your father is still alive!”
Yixing shook his head frantically as he pushes Jongin’s voice at the back of his mind.
His daytime trance was then broken when Baekhyun entered the house cheerfully. “I’m back!” Baekhyun exclaims as he walked into the living room and placed the heavy books he got from the library on the coffee table. The air the force had produced blew up Yixing’s fringes up lightly.
“Where did you find the power to carry all these on your way?” Yixing asked curiously while browsing through the thick covered novels in front of him.
“Oh, that,” Baekhyun starts and unconsciously placed his hand behind his neck, saying, “Kris helped me carry them.”
Yixing looks at him immediately and said, “He was with you?”
“Yeah, we were taking the same path and he offered some help. He told me to tell you he misses you but I noticed he was in a hurry so…” Baekhyun didn’t end what he was saying when he realized Yixing got what he was trying to explain. Yixing then let out a sigh before taking a book to check out.
Baekhyun then plopped on the couch beside him to join his book browsing.
“Oh, right, so you’re like friends now with Kris?” Yixing grinned sheepishly and Baekhyun merely nodded, engrossed to the book he decided to read and answers, “Yeah, I usually bump on him sometimes and have small talks. He seems nice.”
Yixing responded with a chortle which sent Baekhyun looking back at him. The former saw the frown on his face and tried stirring from his laugh and says, “Nice? That’s far from the adjective I’ll use when I first met him.”
Baekhyun mouthed an ‘O’ with his lips and chuckled, “Well, plot twist.”
Yixing pursed his lips to restrain from laughing once again. He can only shake his head and thankful that Baekhyun and Kris seemed to get along just well. Baekhyun had filled in the empty feeling Jongin and Luhan left which Yixing feels grateful for. Perhaps for a short time being, the uneasiness within him will calm down.
The next occurrence of Kris and Yixing’s meeting wasn’t to the latter’s liking at all.
It turns out that Kris needed to include Yixing to another team that will be sent to another city. The team needs to discreetly obtain the shipped weapons from a source and it will take three to four days to accomplish it, excluding the amount of time of travel.
“So I won’t be around for, like, a week,” Yixing said calmly as he leans his weight on the couch he was sitting on. Kris in front of him only nodded sternly. “I’d hate to send you off but the group’s short of one person.” Kris coaxes after standing up from his seat, walking towards Yixing.
“You will be with Sehun, Minseok, and five fellow members. Yixing, promise me you’ll come back safe,” adds Kris when he reached few centimeters away from the younger male, tilting his chin with his finger. Yixing looked at him blankly before smiling with mirth, “Of course, I will.”
Grabbing Kris’ wrist, Yixing pulled the latter into him for a searing kiss.
***
Yixing was with the team when they entered the boat waiting for them in the docks. What he didn’t expect was Jongdae’s presence in it.
“Kris asked me to deliver something to Chanyeol so I’m boarding with you. Though my stop is still far ahead from yours,” Jongdae had explained himself when he saw Yixing’s confused expression. It came into an idea if Yixing could have a glance on Luhan but knowing mission came first, Yixing managed to restrain himself from asking.
“How is your new friend doing?” Jongdae opens up a new subject. Yixing then realized Jongdae was going to stay on the rails for a chat with him. Yixing then smiled a little as he leans on the boat’s rail, answering, “Baekhyun? He’s fine. I think he’s enjoying his time in the town. I know he’ll be fine with Joonmyeon.”
Jongdae smiled back and decided to support his weight with his elbows on the bars, sea air blowing across him.
“Jongdae, uhm, about the other day…” Yixing starts but Jongdae cut him off, “Forget what I said that night. It was just the random troll of me.” There was a light laugh sounded next which made Yixing rest the case.
“Well, good luck meeting on Chanyeol then!” Yixing grins cheerily, changing the mood suddenly. Jongdae though sensed the sincerity behind it and laughed, “You’re really weird. Maybe that is why Kris is so fond of you.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Yixing’s smile turns into a sheepish one and stared back to the sea before them. Jongdae remained quiet and just stayed there, the engines the only sound he could hear and the ripples of water coming behind it. Perhaps, Yixing’s genuine affection for Kris would alter some decisions in the future.
It was after minutes when Minseok called them in to plan the careful process of their task. Since Jongdae wasn’t taking any part of it, he told Yixing to go in first. The latter frowned at first but still went in. Jongdae then faced the water once more and saw the wide horizon of blue shades.
***
“Jongdae… what brings you here?” Chanyeol asks in surprise when he saw who was at the door of the apartment they were staying in.
Jongdae merely nodded before giving Chanyeol something.
“Kris wanted you to have it. But he said you will only open it on the schedule.” Jongdae warns as he reached out a small cube box and Chanyeol immediately accepts it.
Chanyeol only looked at the thing on his hand before sighing, “So we’re just going to wait to know what’s in his head.”
“I should be going now.” Jongdae said instead, turning on his heels to walk away from the warehouse. Chanyeol didn’t stop him. He just looked at Jongdae’s back before going back the apartment himself.
Jongdae then took his time walking through the empty street.
And a sudden question came out of his lips, “Would you really end this in your crucial way, Kris?”
***
Yixing came home with an excited feeling inside him. He needed to see Kris. It was the first thing he wanted to do the first second he set foot on the community’s ground. Even Minseok noticed and just didn’t mention something about it.
As they brought the equipments they had acquired - which lead to a shootout with rogues but the team managed to come back whole - Yixing and the others finished the moving in no time.
And as always, Yixing was the one who will come up to Kris for the reporting.
“Seize him!” Minseok jokes at him and then laughed. Yixing went along with the other and merely shook his head as he went out the storage room. “Say hi to Baekhyun for me when you get home,” Yixing said one last time before Minseok nodded.
When Minseok did go back to their house, he immediately saw Baekhyun on the couch, sitting too straight to be slouching.
“Are you trying to imitate a statue?” Minseok smiled as he closed the door behind him and removes his shoes. Baekhyun jumped in surprised and looks at Minseok.
“I-… I’m just… well, nevermind. How was your assignment?” Baekhyun blinks for a few times as if he was blinking away some thoughts. Minseok didn’t think about it and just answered, “We got it well done. Oh, and Yixing wanted to say hi because he was assigned to report to Kris now.”
Baekhyun froze once again and this time, Minseok stopped his tracks to look at him. “You really look stricken. What’s wrong?”
Baekhyun shook his head and stood up, turning his back from the other, “I was just tired from cleaning the library.”
“Oh… okay then, rest for now,” Minseok shrugs and jogged his way to the stairs. Baekhyun let out a sigh of relief before guilt flashed through his facial expression.
***
“We only have three weeks before the bombing,” Jongdae said as a statement while standing before the window on Kris’ left side of his desk. Kris nodded in agreement while rummaging through the blueprints he was studying.
“Kris,” Jongdae calls out and this time, the said man lifted his head to look back at him.
“Are you really going to... break him?” Jongdae asks now with unreadable eyes. Kris looked back with the same nonchalance he held.
“Yes.” Kris finally looks away and continued analyzing the prints on his desk. Jongdae only sighed and then he saw someone approaching from the window. He saw Yixing walking towards the building and Jongdae looked at Kris who was occupied with his current work. He then decided to take this opportunity. Without second word, Jongdae went out the room.
“Jongdae-,” Yixing called in surprise when Jongdae opened the door before he could even hold the knob. He looks at the composed man before him and suddenly, Jongdae grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the nearest room.
It turned out to be the dark room Tao uses for his handworks of codes and photographs and Yixing could only see Jongdae on red color. He doesn’t really understand why the other dragged him into that room and asked, “Why did you bring me here?”
“I need to talk to you alone. And… I need it away from Kris’ ears,” Jongdae answers back as he lets go of Yixing. The latter frowned only in response and Jongdae continued looking at him with serious concern.
“Yixing,” Jongdae started, “I don’t have much time. I should have told you earlier before something happened to Jongin… Before… I mean… fuck!” Yixing’s expression turned to a confused one as he watch Jongdae deal with his choice of words.
“Jongdae, I don’t know what’s happening with you but I really need to-,”
“Kris is not the one you opt to believe he is.” Jongdae ended and Yixing fell more confused, and angry.
“This is your last chance. You have to get out of here. You can still escape. Kris was the one responsible why you are even here. He ordered Chanyeol and Kyungsoo to torture you, to make believe that your father is executed for conspiracy so that your fate will land here. Luhan is led to believe that also but no one’s here will go save you instead yourself. Walk out from this community, Yixing. Zhang is still alive, go back to him, you’re not safe here because… because Kris is going to kill you.” Jongdae said in a fast tempo of words and Yixing didn’t know if he will going to snap in rage or stay frozen forever.
He remained silent for a minute as he stared straight at the wall in front of him. Jongdae closed his eyes and opened them again, this time he spoke slowly, “I know it’s hard to believe but I’m telling the truth. I’m Kris’ most trusted ally so I know all of his plans.”
“Then why are you betraying him by saying this,” Yixing asked in a small voice, still in a state of daze and disbelief.
Jongdae runs his hand through his hair in frustrations as he answered, “It’s because I thought he will be saved from his hunger for revenge! I thought… that he won’t be able to do the part of his plan about you if you love each other. I thought his love was genuine. I thought…”
Yixing finally looked at him in the eye. And the pain and comprehension within those eyes made Jongdae learn that his message was understood.
“I can’t say anything more than this, Zhang Yixing. You should escape. You should just go,” Jongdae says in a calm voice and Yixing flinched from the tone.
“Wait. Then Jongin is telling the truth?” Yixing suddenly remembers and Jongdae didn’t reply. “You said something about Jongin. What happened to him? He isn’t sent into a mission, is he?” Yixing taunts and Jongdae shook his head, “I can’t tell you what Kris had done to him. You need to go.”
Yixing didn’t move but realization dawn to him.
Everything was made up from the beginning until now.
And he fell for it. He fell for it and now he knows how stupid he is for believing on a false love Kris made him feel. It now made him feel pathetic.
Yixing felt himself laughing bitterly before saying, “I’m so stupid.”
Jongdae didn’t dare say another word before proceeding towards the door, ignoring Yixing’s pained expression through the red light. “I hope you find your father.” He last said before leaving Yixing all by himself in the dark room. Where tears had gathered and fell from the lone man’s eyes.
***
Yixing felt betrayed. Well, betrayed is an understatement because he was tortured, deceived, and worst, he was being planned to be killed. And what hurts the most is that the root of this all is the man he thought that will never hurt him.
Kris.
The name itself felt venom on his tongue.
Jongin was right. He was right all this time. Kris never cared about him, never even planned to protect him at the first place. Kris never loved him.
But then the images started going back as a memory; Kris looking at him fondly whenever they meet, the words he said ‘you’re safe with me’, the lingering touches he gave him, soft spoken words of affection, and the way he smiled genuinely at him.
It was all an illusion.
It was a pretended relationship between him and Kris.
But it still hurts - knowing the truth hurts. Yixing finds it hard to breathe. He didn’t know what to think but the aching part of his chest. It was all too much to bear. All the grieving he did for his father was nonsensical for he was alive, his father is alive, and so is his mother. He didn’t lose anything.
He didn’t lose anything but himself.
He lost to Kris. He let the other take the whole of him - his mind, his heart, and even his sanity. The discrepancy of it all was devastating. Had he not fell for Kris, maybe leaving now won’t be a problem. But that is what is happening, Yixing finds himself in front of Kris’ door.
He should have left. Escaped this hellhole he is in.
However, he didn’t. He was already knocking on Kris’ door. The belief of needing to see him if he could prove that Kris has no heart at all was the delusion he decided to carry out. One could never be that good in acting like you cared; at least that was what Yixing believed. Kris might have gained affection for him, even just a little, and that hope was enough for Yixing to have the courage to see the one who betrayed him.
“Come in,” the voice answered and Yixing took a deep breath, emotions in turmoil as he didn’t know what to feel. Fear? Sadness? Anger? Hate?... or love?
It was the last when he entered the room. Kris was leaning his body on his desk with his hands in his pockets, obviously waiting for someone - none other than Yixing. Kris smiled suddenly and asked, “I’m glad you came back safe.”
“I…. I did,” Yixing croaked and cleared his throat. All coherent thoughts of anger and despise flew out the window. Why does he need to appear like a weakling in front of Kris? Why wouldn’t he just confront the man, to ask if everything Jongdae told him was true and to know where in the world was Jongin?
Without a second to think of another word, Yixing felt himself being enveloped in an embrace. Where his cheek landed on a chest so familiar he instinctively leaned on his whole weight - realizing Kris had took him in his arms.
“I’ve missed you,” Kris whispered as he rested his head on his. The gentleness behind his voice made Yixing want to cry. He wasn’t prepared for this - he didn’t want to see the soft Kris because he knows he will give in.
And when they pulled apart, Kris looked at him with those eyes. Yixing almost believe they were real emotions Kris showed, the longing and love he saw there. He should be backing away and be angry at the man who turned his life into this. But then again, at the back of his mind, this is where he wants even though in the end, he’ll die staying.
Death wasn’t within those eyes and suddenly, Yixing’s lips was taken by the former. Kris tilted Yixing’s chin up and both shared a slow fervent kiss. Yixing thinks Kris wasn’t this gentle before. But he was lost in words as Kris nipped at his lower lip and then kissed him whole again. Yixing unconsciously opened up and the former took it a cue to push in his tongue, exploring every inch of Yixing’s warm mouth. Tongues sliding with each other as Kris kept the pace slow.
Yixing wants to know why he’s even here, accepting everything, of every fake little thing.
And there is a sudden flash inside his mind. He loves Kris.
That was not a lie. And Yixing doesn’t understand himself anymore.
Kris’ lips moved down south to his neck and collarbone, careful not to blow air on that sensitive part. Yixing angles his head to give more access and felt those thin soft lips give him pecks. There were arms wrapping around his waist now and Yixing let himself be dragged over the bed.
When they landed on the sheets, Yixing felt a tear roll down his cheek like he was going to fall into a sea and drown. Now he had understood he was now doomed forever.
But there was something different to the present, Yixing realized. He noticed how Kris gently removed his shirt, worshipping his upper body with his lips and tongue which made Yixing cringe in undeniable pleasure. It was wrong to feel this way right after he knew the truth except this isn’t the Kris he was expecting to see. He anticipated a cold, rough, aggressive Kris dominating everything but out of all times, the affectionate one welcomed him instead.
And it became Yixing’s weakness.
He could feel every cell in his body respond to Kris. His fingers running along his now bare thighs, shivering under those penetrating eyes, and the usual kisses Kris would give him.
“I missed you. It wasn’t the same without you near me,” said Kris as he leans in to his ear. Yixing moaned through it. He felt fingers making their way in him and Kris staring at him like he was the most attractive person in the world didn’t help.
Kris steadied for a moment and finally said gently, “I love you.”
Yixing wanted to cry.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Kris shouldn’t be making him love him more than he could love him now. Because it was too much. Too much pain and misery that thinking only it was all false…
“I love you too. So much.” Yixing whimpers as he wraps his arms around Kris’ neck and pulled him for a kiss, and to hide his tears escaping through his eyes.
It was then that Kris entered him Yixing found an excuse to shed his tears. If only this was all true that there was no pretending, no false hopes and pretense; it would all be better. But reality has the power to suck all hopes out of one’s life and this was one of its examples.
With every thrust and pound Yixing could hear Kris’ breaths on his ear, whispering soothing words.
The night went in a slow pace of savors and fondness that Yixing thinks he’s going to melt. They made love in a different rhythm they haven’t done before and a fear crept inside Yixing’s mind. He fears that it was going to be the first… and last intimate action he’ll have with Kris.
So favors the yearning and Yixing treasured every bits of the minute he was with Kris that night.
***
Yixing woke up with his chest tightening in pain. He couldn’t breathe. He wanted to let it out now. All he could see was the lamp’s light at the nightstand. He struggles to sit down and held on his chest, clutching it as if it’ll stop the pain.
He looks at the clock on the wall opposite him and realized it was only four in the morning. And then his eyes landed on the person beside him. Kris. He was sleeping quietly beside him, oblivious of the things outside his dream world.
And then the sudden memories of everything came back again. The cell, the torture, the grief of a false death, Luhan, Jongin, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo… Yixing gasped as he remembered the moment before Chanyeol left with the others.
Yixing turns to the other two and Chanyeol was the first one to answer, “Thanks, Yixing.” Kyungsoo repeated the same gratitude and Yixing only tilted his head in bewilderment.
“Your wounds… did they turn into scars?” Chanyeol asks suddenly, voice impassive. Yixing shook his head when he realized that Chanyeol was talking about his wounds on his back. “Good,” Chanyeol gave him a small smile before nodding. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo stared at him as if they’ve done something to him that they couldn’t say, or was it only his imagination?
And… “Or there is no conspiracy at all.” Kyungsoo interjects. Everyone was then trying to decipher as to why The Government targeted Yixing’s family.
Yixing fell numb. Kris had planned everything so well. He just clearly used Yixing and his emotions. Yixing didn’t know what kind of revenge Kris was using him for but it now made Yixing clear his thoughts.
He was angry at Kris. Anger and hate swirled inside him. Kris right beside him gave Yixing an opportunity to act to his anger. Before he knows it, Yixing stood up from the bed and grabbed something from his pants.
He slips into his clothes, planning to escape now that it was clear Kris never really loved him, and stood before Kris’ sleeping figure. Yixing thought of all the things Kris has done, every reasons he need to despise Kris, and lifted his knife - the thing he acquired from his pocket.
He wanted to kill Kris. No matter what freedom and priority the leader had to accomplish, Yixing for once wanted to lift the knife and kill Kris in his sleep. Because it wasn’t right, using others as weapon for revenge, ruining his life for his own sake, Yixing held up the sharp thing and took a moment to aim for the heart.
And when he tried to force the knife down…
The blade fell off from his hand and onto the floor.
There was a sob. And then whimpers of pain and despair. Yixing couldn’t do it. He can’t as he stared at the knife just meters away from his feet. He let out the tears he’d been keeping and collapsed on the bed, facing Kris as he let the hot liquid pour out from his eyes. He curled into a ball and hugged his knees, trying his hardest not to wake up Kris because right at this moment, he was content to watch Kris in his peaceful sleep.
He felt weak and had realized he couldn't kill Kris no matter what the latter did. He was already blinded by his love for the other. And he couldn’t be pathetic anymore than this.
Maybe if tomorrow, if he’ll run away, he’ll be able to move on.
Perhaps for now, he just wants to see Kris. Before he goes back to a life he had turned back into.
***
Kris opened his eyes when he finally heard the relaxed breathing of his lover, no more choking sounds of tears - only steady breathing. He saw Yixing sleeping soundly beside him, face so close to his.
There was an obvious mask of pain on Yixing’s face but Kris decided to ignore it, knowing perfectly he was the reason behind that agony. He stands up quietly and walked on the other side of the bed. And there he found the knife, lying on the floor and completely unused.
He turns his head to look at the back of a sleeping Yixing and sighs, holding the blade in his hand. “Why didn’t you do it?” were the words that came out of the leader’s mouth before walking out the room completely, leaving Yixing to his sleep alone.
A few hours passed, Yixing finally woke up with the sun blazing from the window, hurting his eyelids because of the brightness. He sits down slowly as he bit by bit forgets the pain all over his body. He stands up from the bed, fully clothed and stepped on the carpeted floor at his side. There he realized there was a missing object which was supposed to be on that floor.
He felt panic rise from his body. The knife which he planned using on killing Kris was supposed to be there. Panic stricken, Yixing felt his blood going to his head.
He immediately went out the room towards Kris’ office and saw Kris, standing or more like leaning on his desk the way he saw him yesterday again. Only this time one hand was only in his pocket and the other... was holding Yixing’s knife.
“I saw this on the floor when I woke up...” Kris says in a cold tone and that moment Yixing felt shivers down his spine. It was fear he was feeling right now. There was no gentle Kris anymore. And maybe this was the real one he is facing now. “What’s it for? Why are you bringing it?” asks Kris again and this time, he looked straight through Yixing’s eyes.
Yixing swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and stammered, “Th-that is nothing. I need.. I need to go.” Yixing tried walking fast towards the door but Kris’ words stopped him, “Were you trying to kill me..?”
“You...” Kris continued, “How did you find out?”
Yixing finally turned around and faced Kris. Both of them know what Kris was implying to and Yixing sensed his heart dropping. “How come? Did Jongin managed to tell you? Wait, you can’t possibly had contact with Chanyeol...”
The way things came out from Kris’ lips sounding so casual made Yixing cringe in repugnance. Why was he so calm about this?
“I’ve put Jongin into silence so how did you know?” Kris asked in a relaxed tone again and this time, there is a visible smirk formed by his lips. Yixing snapped. “What did you do to Jongin?”
Kris smiled more. “How would I know? He’s in a quiet place where you can never find him.”
Yixing didn’t know him anymore. With abhorrence streaming through his mind, Yixing leaped in attack, planning to hit Kris but the latter was fast enough to grab his wrist and turn it around. Now Yixing was hell bent on the desk with a knife planted to protrude across his throat, arm twisted behind him held by Kris.
“Too bad I’m ten years experienced than you,” Kris whispers through his ear and this pained Yixing more. Because it was the same voice that whispered love to him the night before but now it came to be the man who holds the knife on his throat.
Yixing didn’t speak and only panted, thinking of a way to escape Kris’ hold.
He doesn’t want to appear weak anymore. He struggles to his hold but Kris stayed on that position and laughed triumphantly.
Suddenly, he lets go and Yixing felt a needle pierced through his skin of his neck. And then his eyes blurred, his knees getting weak.
Kris held him in his arm and dragged him somewhere. He could hear the latter speaking and chuckle, “I’m not going to kill you yet. I still need to show to your father that I hold you captive. Oh boy I can’t wait to see his face. He will be damned.”
Yixing didn’t find any strength to answer. What did his father do to Kris anyways? Why was revenge so important and ruined the man in front of him. Who was the real Kris?
And then suddenly he felt his body hitting a wall. He didn’t even have the slightest voice to mouth out his pain. He just sat there, in that blurry room of white, reminding him of the prison cell. And then he saw the figure that dragged him there walk out from the room and maybe from his life also.
Part 3b