[fic] 'til the end of time - Yugioh, YamixYugi, tragedy/horror, PG-13, theme 045 (100_chances)
Theme: 045- 'til the end of time; for 100_chances
Author: Chey (duelist_gurl163)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Tragedy/horror
Pairings: YamixYugi
Archive: Here
Warnings: AU, character death, murder/suicide, don't even TRY to find something happy about this one...xD
Spoilers: None.
Summary: He would not let a faceless God choose when to take them. It would end on his terms.
Disclaimer: Yugioh is still not mine.
Note: Inspired by this picture from Kyuubikun.
---
Silent, blank-eyed, Yami closed the door of his car. He walked up the driveway, the same walk he’d taken every day for years, but now it felt different. The world he knew so well seemed to have been transformed itself into an alien place. He unlocked the door and stepped through, shutting it behind him with a soft click. The silence inside was broken now by his quick, shaky breathing.
He felt sick. He was sick.
“We’ve received your test results, we’d like you to come in to discuss them.”
How was it that he’d gotten that phone call only two hours before?
Swaying, he leaned into the wall, choking. Even through all his other thoughts - how, why, this couldn’t be, no - one rose about the rest.
How would he tell Yugi?
After they’d been so careful, so sure that he, at least, had been spared…suddenly it just appeared? The first test, taken just after Yugi got his results, had come up negative. This test was supposed to just confirm what they knew, it was supposed to be negative too, so why…
“It takes up to six months to appear, the first one probably just didn’t pick it up.”
It didn’t matter, really. All along the poison had been inside him, waiting. Probably given to him by Yugi, though that was something Yami knew he could never say aloud. Yugi had been so relieved when he found out that Yami’s results had been negative. Even wasting away in a bed, he’d beamed, thrilled to hear that his partner, at least, would go on living. And Yami had hated himself for continuing to live. Now he hated himself for dying.
He couldn’t tell Yugi. Yugi could never be allowed to know, never be allowed to carry that sort of burden on his soul. The only question was of how long he could hide it, if it was possible to keep the secret until Yugi died. He wasn’t sure. It had taken surprisingly little time for the disease to strike his lover. Symptoms could appear within weeks, and Yugi, who had already been through it all, would know what they were from.
Unless he ensured that Yugi never saw him reach that point.
Swallowing heavily, he moved toward a closet and knelt to rummage inside. From a box in the back he found a knife, encased in a leather sheath. A birthday gift from years upon years ago, back when his father had hoped Yami would someday display some semblance of masculinity and show an interest in hunting with his dad. Yami had never understood his father's hobby, but had kept the hunting knife all the same. It had been one of the last gifts his family ever gave him before kicking him out of the house for good.
Long, still deadly sharp…it was made to cut through bone.
He shook his head and threw the knife down. His thoughts didn't feel real. Even with death hovering over his shoulder, he couldn't believe he was at this point.
Nearby, a clock ticked. He’d promised to meet Yugi at the hospice after going to the doctor’s - now he was gladder than ever that he hadn’t told Yugi why he was going there.
I should go. Yugi will be waiting. If I’m late, he’ll only ask questions.
Yami looked back down at the knife. He didn’t have to let the disease take him. He could make it so fast, so simple. He didn’t fear for his soul; if the churches were to be believed, he and Yugi were both damned anyway. If sex was enough to warrant Hell, if he was going there already, then this would do no more harm…
Yugi has already served his time in Hell, he thought angrily, gritting his teeth. God’s judgment, some called it. They stood on street corners, declaring that the torture this disease caused was just punishment. Punishment for loving another man, for defying nature, for defying their precious fucking morality. And, of all people, it had been Yugi who had held him back whenever they came across the righteous, who had grabbed his arms and forced him not to kill every last one of them.
Wasn’t this enough? Wasn’t Yugi’s sin paid for a hundred times over yet? Yugi, who had never cursed God, who had always said God was forgiving and merciful, believing that even when he was holding back screams from pain. If Yugi found out that Yami was sick too, sick with a disease Yugi had given him…it would crush him. It would destroy his belief in mercy and fairness.
His eyes stung with anger and fear and something else he couldn’t name.
Damn you then, God. Damn you for thinking you can get away with hurting him when he was loyal to you. I won’t let you. He will never carry that weight.
Slowly, he closed his fingers over the knife and stood up.
- - -
“Yami!” Yugi broke into a smile from where he was sitting, propped up in bed. Yami couldn’t make himself smile back much anymore, not when faced with the weak shell that Yugi had become. Even in his smile, Yami saw the pain Yugi was in. Every hour, every second of his life, Yugi suffered.
How many times had he wondered if there wasn’t some quick, simple way to end it all? But they had only ever been thoughts before. Even in those most desperate moments, when Yugi, out of his mind in pain, had begged him to find some way to make it stop, he’d never thought he’d be here now, his final decision in mind.
He certainly couldn’t make himself smile back today. It was all he could do not to run from the room. Stiffly, he moved closer to the bed, and saw Yugi’s smile fade to concern.
“Yami? What’s wrong?”
Tears sprung to Yami’s eyes at the question. Everything, everything was wrong. They were supposed to be in their house, not a hospice. They were supposed to healthy and safe, not sick. They were supposed to grow old together, supposed to be happy…
He’d given up on that dream the day Yugi’s test came back positive.
“Feel like you can stand up?” Yami managed to ask. Yugi nodded.
“Just for a little bit though.”
“I know.” He reached out, trembling as he took Yugi’s hands and helped him stand, wrapping one arm around him to support him. He felt so light. So fragile.
Yugi gazed up at him. Yami could see the glaze from the cocktail of drugs he was on in his eyes, but today he was lucid. “Yami, are you okay?”
Yami nodded, his eyes filled with tears anyway.
“Yugi…will you…hold me for a moment?”
Yugi smiled gently, laying his head on Yami’s shoulder, his arms around his neck. “Of course.”
“Cl- close…close your eyes, okay?”
Without questioning him, Yugi did so, nuzzling closer. Absolute trust. No restraint.
Yami felt his tears on his face as he reached down, pulling his shirt up a little at the side to reach the knife handle concealed by the hem, the sheath hidden down the leg of his jeans.
The pain, the sickness…it ended here.
Yugi, please understand…and someday…
“Y-Yugi…I…I love you…” he whispered, shaking, embracing him. “I will love you…until the end of time. I promise. Don’t you ever…ever forget that.”
“I know,” Yugi whispered back, his eyes still closed. “I love you too, Yami. Always.”
“N-no matter what?”
“No matter what.”
Holding him up with one hand, Yami held the knife in the other, and positioned it behind Yugi, the quivering tip less than an inch from Yugi’s back. The knife in place, he moved so that both his hands were gripping the handle, holding it as firmly as he could. The new position caused Yugi to lean into him more for balance. Yami shifted slightly, to place his own spine in alignment with Yugi’s, parallel to the metal blade.
He buried his face into Yugi’s neck, closing his eyes against his tears.
Please…please forgive me someday.
He took one last breath, and yanked the knife forward.
X - X - X
Notes: Um…so yeah. You get to decide if Yami dies too, or survives and has to live on not only sick, but knowing he murdered his love. Because I’m just full of cheer like that. xD
The disease in question is HIV, (that was probably obvious…), and I set this back when treatments were fairly limited…and prejudice was quite a bit more rampant, though there are still asshats who claim, “HIV is God’s punishment” today, too. >_>
Hopefully you enjoyed this one as much as it can be enjoyed, because I practically gave myself a nervous breakdown writing it. So not my style nor subject.
Technically a gun would make more SENSE...but it was based on the picture, so a knife was the only choice.
Author: Chey (duelist_gurl163)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Tragedy/horror
Pairings: YamixYugi
Archive: Here
Warnings: AU, character death, murder/suicide, don't even TRY to find something happy about this one...xD
Spoilers: None.
Summary: He would not let a faceless God choose when to take them. It would end on his terms.
Disclaimer: Yugioh is still not mine.
Note: Inspired by this picture from Kyuubikun.
---
Silent, blank-eyed, Yami closed the door of his car. He walked up the driveway, the same walk he’d taken every day for years, but now it felt different. The world he knew so well seemed to have been transformed itself into an alien place. He unlocked the door and stepped through, shutting it behind him with a soft click. The silence inside was broken now by his quick, shaky breathing.
He felt sick. He was sick.
“We’ve received your test results, we’d like you to come in to discuss them.”
How was it that he’d gotten that phone call only two hours before?
Swaying, he leaned into the wall, choking. Even through all his other thoughts - how, why, this couldn’t be, no - one rose about the rest.
How would he tell Yugi?
After they’d been so careful, so sure that he, at least, had been spared…suddenly it just appeared? The first test, taken just after Yugi got his results, had come up negative. This test was supposed to just confirm what they knew, it was supposed to be negative too, so why…
“It takes up to six months to appear, the first one probably just didn’t pick it up.”
It didn’t matter, really. All along the poison had been inside him, waiting. Probably given to him by Yugi, though that was something Yami knew he could never say aloud. Yugi had been so relieved when he found out that Yami’s results had been negative. Even wasting away in a bed, he’d beamed, thrilled to hear that his partner, at least, would go on living. And Yami had hated himself for continuing to live. Now he hated himself for dying.
He couldn’t tell Yugi. Yugi could never be allowed to know, never be allowed to carry that sort of burden on his soul. The only question was of how long he could hide it, if it was possible to keep the secret until Yugi died. He wasn’t sure. It had taken surprisingly little time for the disease to strike his lover. Symptoms could appear within weeks, and Yugi, who had already been through it all, would know what they were from.
Unless he ensured that Yugi never saw him reach that point.
Swallowing heavily, he moved toward a closet and knelt to rummage inside. From a box in the back he found a knife, encased in a leather sheath. A birthday gift from years upon years ago, back when his father had hoped Yami would someday display some semblance of masculinity and show an interest in hunting with his dad. Yami had never understood his father's hobby, but had kept the hunting knife all the same. It had been one of the last gifts his family ever gave him before kicking him out of the house for good.
Long, still deadly sharp…it was made to cut through bone.
He shook his head and threw the knife down. His thoughts didn't feel real. Even with death hovering over his shoulder, he couldn't believe he was at this point.
Nearby, a clock ticked. He’d promised to meet Yugi at the hospice after going to the doctor’s - now he was gladder than ever that he hadn’t told Yugi why he was going there.
I should go. Yugi will be waiting. If I’m late, he’ll only ask questions.
Yami looked back down at the knife. He didn’t have to let the disease take him. He could make it so fast, so simple. He didn’t fear for his soul; if the churches were to be believed, he and Yugi were both damned anyway. If sex was enough to warrant Hell, if he was going there already, then this would do no more harm…
Yugi has already served his time in Hell, he thought angrily, gritting his teeth. God’s judgment, some called it. They stood on street corners, declaring that the torture this disease caused was just punishment. Punishment for loving another man, for defying nature, for defying their precious fucking morality. And, of all people, it had been Yugi who had held him back whenever they came across the righteous, who had grabbed his arms and forced him not to kill every last one of them.
Wasn’t this enough? Wasn’t Yugi’s sin paid for a hundred times over yet? Yugi, who had never cursed God, who had always said God was forgiving and merciful, believing that even when he was holding back screams from pain. If Yugi found out that Yami was sick too, sick with a disease Yugi had given him…it would crush him. It would destroy his belief in mercy and fairness.
His eyes stung with anger and fear and something else he couldn’t name.
Damn you then, God. Damn you for thinking you can get away with hurting him when he was loyal to you. I won’t let you. He will never carry that weight.
Slowly, he closed his fingers over the knife and stood up.
- - -
“Yami!” Yugi broke into a smile from where he was sitting, propped up in bed. Yami couldn’t make himself smile back much anymore, not when faced with the weak shell that Yugi had become. Even in his smile, Yami saw the pain Yugi was in. Every hour, every second of his life, Yugi suffered.
How many times had he wondered if there wasn’t some quick, simple way to end it all? But they had only ever been thoughts before. Even in those most desperate moments, when Yugi, out of his mind in pain, had begged him to find some way to make it stop, he’d never thought he’d be here now, his final decision in mind.
He certainly couldn’t make himself smile back today. It was all he could do not to run from the room. Stiffly, he moved closer to the bed, and saw Yugi’s smile fade to concern.
“Yami? What’s wrong?”
Tears sprung to Yami’s eyes at the question. Everything, everything was wrong. They were supposed to be in their house, not a hospice. They were supposed to healthy and safe, not sick. They were supposed to grow old together, supposed to be happy…
He’d given up on that dream the day Yugi’s test came back positive.
“Feel like you can stand up?” Yami managed to ask. Yugi nodded.
“Just for a little bit though.”
“I know.” He reached out, trembling as he took Yugi’s hands and helped him stand, wrapping one arm around him to support him. He felt so light. So fragile.
Yugi gazed up at him. Yami could see the glaze from the cocktail of drugs he was on in his eyes, but today he was lucid. “Yami, are you okay?”
Yami nodded, his eyes filled with tears anyway.
“Yugi…will you…hold me for a moment?”
Yugi smiled gently, laying his head on Yami’s shoulder, his arms around his neck. “Of course.”
“Cl- close…close your eyes, okay?”
Without questioning him, Yugi did so, nuzzling closer. Absolute trust. No restraint.
Yami felt his tears on his face as he reached down, pulling his shirt up a little at the side to reach the knife handle concealed by the hem, the sheath hidden down the leg of his jeans.
The pain, the sickness…it ended here.
Yugi, please understand…and someday…
“Y-Yugi…I…I love you…” he whispered, shaking, embracing him. “I will love you…until the end of time. I promise. Don’t you ever…ever forget that.”
“I know,” Yugi whispered back, his eyes still closed. “I love you too, Yami. Always.”
“N-no matter what?”
“No matter what.”
Holding him up with one hand, Yami held the knife in the other, and positioned it behind Yugi, the quivering tip less than an inch from Yugi’s back. The knife in place, he moved so that both his hands were gripping the handle, holding it as firmly as he could. The new position caused Yugi to lean into him more for balance. Yami shifted slightly, to place his own spine in alignment with Yugi’s, parallel to the metal blade.
He buried his face into Yugi’s neck, closing his eyes against his tears.
Please…please forgive me someday.
He took one last breath, and yanked the knife forward.
X - X - X
Notes: Um…so yeah. You get to decide if Yami dies too, or survives and has to live on not only sick, but knowing he murdered his love. Because I’m just full of cheer like that. xD
The disease in question is HIV, (that was probably obvious…), and I set this back when treatments were fairly limited…and prejudice was quite a bit more rampant, though there are still asshats who claim, “HIV is God’s punishment” today, too. >_>
Hopefully you enjoyed this one as much as it can be enjoyed, because I practically gave myself a nervous breakdown writing it. So not my style nor subject.
Technically a gun would make more SENSE...but it was based on the picture, so a knife was the only choice.