[fic] Just Don't Look Back, Chapter 09 - Yugioh, YamixYugi, angst/romance, R, AU
Title: Just Don't Look Back
Chapter: 09
Author: Chey (duelist_gurl163)
Rating: R
Genre: Angst/romance
Pairing: YamixYugi
Archive: Here
Overall warnings: AU, implied sex, insanity, violence
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Before he met Yugi, Yami spent his days panhandling alone. Yugi put his heart into changing Yami’s life, giving him companionship, a home and his love. But even he can’t save Yami from the control of his past, nor the dark path he is set upon.
Disclaimer: Yugioh continues to not belong to me.
- 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 05 - 06 - 07 - 08 -
---
Yami kept his promise. For the next four weeks Yugi only saw him in glimpses; he had even stopped eating dinner with them. And if they passed in a room, or Yugi found an excuse to go down to the shop, Yami was careful to give him only a polite greeting. It was a good act, it truly felt as if they weren’t a couple at all, and that hurt. Yugi longed for the way things used to be, the way they should be. He missed talking to him, holding him, kissing him…the pathetic few seconds they got to see each other did nothing but increase his want and he could see in Yami’s eyes that Yami felt the same, even as he upheld his end of the unfair bargain.
Even though Yugi knew it was better than Yami being forbidden to come on the property at all, he had never felt so lonely in his own house and it only got worse as the days passed.
The last straw came on December 30th, when he arrived home after going to the amusement park with Jounouchi and Honda, and his grandfather pulled him aside at the door where he was taking his shoes off.
“What’s going on?” Yugi asked, looking puzzled.
Sugoroku kept his voice low. “It’s Yami’s birthday.”
“What?”
“Today is Yami’s nineteenth birthday. I heard him asking your mother if you could come with him to celebrate at his mother’s apartment this evening.”
“What did Mom say?” Yugi asked, his heart speeding up excitedly. Surely she wouldn’t object to a simple birthday party, and he hadn’t spent time with Yami in weeks…
“She said no, and forbade him from telling you.”
His excitement turned to anger. “She wasn’t going to tell me that he offered? Or even tell me it was his birthday at all?”
“It seems not.”
Yugi flung his shoes at the wall. “This isn’t fair, his birthday is important and I’ve completely missed it because of Mom. I didn’t know about it, I didn’t get him a gift, I can’t go celebrate with him- this sucks! She hates him so much, all because of some stupid prejudice!” He waved his arms around as if energetic hand motions would express annoyance that words couldn’t. Then he looked up at his grandfather. “Wait, why are you telling me?”
“She didn’t forbid me from saying anything about it,” he said, and marched by up the stairs. Yugi half-smiled.
“Thanks Grandpa.”
Sugoroku turned and smiled back. “You, however, are forbidden from telling her that I told you.”
His half-smile became a full one. “Of course.”
- - -
Late that night Yami arrived back at the Mutou’s house, washed up as quietly as he could in the upstairs bathroom, and returned to his room. He stretched out on his stomach on his bed and tucked his head into the crook of his arm, too tired to even bother pulling a blanket over himself. He was just drifting off when he found himself being shaken awake.
Mumbling inquisitively, he rolled onto his back and felt someone press a finger to his lips. Then he heard Yugi’s voice whisper, “It’s me.”
“Yugi?” he asked, blinking and looking up to see Yugi leaning over him. Slowly, his mind cleared of sleepy fog. “Yugi, you can’t be down here, what if you’re caught-”
Yugi stroked his cheek, preoccupied with the joy of spending time with Yami again, and said, “I heard you upstairs. Happy birthday.”
Yami’s protests died away. “Who told you?”
“Grandpa did. I’m sorry, I wish I had been there tonight. I really wanted to be. Was it a good birthday anyway?”
“It was, but I also wish you had been able to celebrate with me,” Yami said, and smiled up at him. “I’ve missed you…so much.”
“I’ve missed you so much, too,” Yugi said, smiling back before he rose to his knees and swiveled his body to kneel over Yami. Yami’s body tensed.
“Yugi, what are you-?”
“I didn’t know until earlier, so I didn’t have time to go shopping,” he said, gazing down at him. “So consider this your gift.” He bent his head, lowering his body, and kissed him on the mouth. His tongue probed at Yami’s lips, which parted without resistance. Yami’s heart sped up. The craving born after weeks of separation killed any hesitation as he reached out, grasped Yugi’s nightshirt in his hands, and pulled him down harder, kissing him back. A guttural growl escaped his throat as they broke apart and met again.
“Mmn…Yami,” Yugi gasped between kisses. “Yami…” He had begun to tug at Yami’s shirt, pulling it up, exposing his chest and stomach. He let one hand explore Yami’s body, his nails drifting over his skin. He could feel Yami’s heart hammering against his ribs. He experimented with caresses, tracing the curve of his waist and hips, and as Yami’s skin heated, sweat made his chest slick. Finally, as Yugi’s fingers found and rubbed his nipples, Yami’s back arched and he mumbled against Yugi’s lips, his grip suddenly tightening and his kiss becoming fiercer. He released a purr of enjoyment, letting Yugi know he was free to continue, but his reaction only caused a return reaction in Yugi’s body - one that shot heat through his veins and culminated at the base of his legs. Startled by the sudden hot rush, Yugi pulled away.
Slowly, Yami unclenched his fists and released Yugi’s shirt. He fell back against the mat, breathless. “Yugi,” he murmured. His eyes opened, their red depths glowing. He reached out and pulled Yugi down to him, embracing him. Yugi, still breathing heavily, buried his face in his neck. This was not a particularly good idea, as it didn’t calm him down at all. Instead, the scent of Yami’s skin only increased his desire for closeness. He pressed his lips to his neck, claiming the sensitive place just under Yami’s ear. Yami shifted under him as Yugi kissed his way down his neck, reaching his throat.
Yami’s hands drifted up and down Yugi’s back, scrunching up his shirt around his shoulders. His fingers slid back down over bare skin, and this time didn’t stop at Yugi’s waist. Yugi murmured encouragement and pressed his hips down harder against his body. Their legs spread and tangled, and he could feel throbbing, damp heat between Yami’s; arousal as intense as his own - too intense to ignore.
Sudden uncertainty killed the moment. His hesitancy was not lost on his partner; it was Yami who came back to his senses first and asked, “Should we stop?”
Yugi sighed into his neck, rolled off of him and stretched out beside him on the mat. He stared up at the shadowed ceiling as the air cooled his damp skin. They had kissed and caressed this way before, but never to the point where one of them had to ask the big question. Now he had no idea how to answer.
“I don’t know,” he finally said. “I- I liked it.” He turned and saw Yami had rolled over and was looking back at him.
“I did too, but is it okay?” Yami asked. “Did you have this planned for tonight?”
“Not this exactly, but…” Yugi trailed off. It would be lying to say he hadn’t thought about the next step in their relationship. Of course he had…especially during the last few long weeks when loneliness had created more fantasies than usual. But to be honest he hadn’t exactly planned on taking that step tonight - he had intended to just stop in to give him a few kisses; however, now that they were here…it wouldn’t be very difficult to run back up to his bedroom and get what they needed. His parents had given him the talk about condoms and protection after he turned sixteen, when they decided his friendship with Anzu was bound to turn physical someday. He could be back within moments, and then…
Yami’s eyes still had that otherworldly brightness to them. His cheeks were flushed and his lips were slightly swollen from their desperate kisses. Yugi reached out and cupped his hand over Yami’s.
“It’s up to you,” he said as heat rose to his face. “I don’t expect anything. I didn’t have a plan, but we’ve been together for awhile and…if you wanted to stop that’s okay, but I wouldn’t mind taking the next step. I mean…it would be m-my first time. I’ve thought about it, I always figured someday we’d be here and I’ve thought about what I wanted and I- I decided that I’d like it to be with you.”
Yami’s voice was soft and shy. “It would be my first too.”
“Then I guess neither of us have to be ashamed of being…um…inexperienced?” Yugi said and laughed nervously, trying desperately to release some of his embarrassed anxiety. This conversation, while sweet, was causing his face to practically set aflame. He’d been far more composed when he was letting his instincts do all the work.
Yami slid closer. “So it’s okay with you as long as I think it is?”
Yugi nodded.
“Then…I think it’s okay too.”
Yugi’s heart was speeding up again, anticipation racing through him. This time he held onto his senses long enough to know they couldn’t just dive back in. “Just let me go upstairs and get…er, what we need. Y’know…protection and all.”
Yami smiled, giving a warming effect to the glow in his eyes, and nodded. Then his smile faded.
“The door,” he said.
“What?”
“The door. If anyone came near the stairs, they might hear something. It would be too much of a risk.”
Yugi hesitated, not wanting to suggest the first thought that came to mind. Doing so would be disrespecting Yami’s boundaries. But Yami looked just as disappointed as he felt, so he suggested tentatively, “We could close the door.”
He saw uncertainty enter Yami’s eyes and his gaze immediately shot toward the only exit.
“We don’t have to,” Yugi amended quickly. “I told you I don’t expect anything. It’s fine.”
Yami was still staring at the door, apparently deep in thought. He took in a long breath, and turned his hand to grasp Yugi’s before saying, “Close it.”
“What?”
“It’s okay to close it.”
“But you hate closed rooms.”
“I told you they don’t bother me as long as I feel safe.”
“But…I know you’re anxious right now, and that’s going to make you feel worse. Yami, don’t do this, don’t force yourself into something just because of me.”
Yami met his eyes again. “It’s fine. I’m with you, and I feel safe with you.”
Slowly, Yugi sat up. He squeezed Yami’s hand once, then stood and left the room, tiptoeing back up the stairs to his own room. He returned a minute later, holding two foil-wrapped packets and a small bottle of lotion - with no commercial lubricant available, it would have to do. He gently shut the door behind him. The room instantly grew darker and he hurried back to Yami’s side. The moment he lay back down beside him, Yami gripped his hand.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” Yugi asked.
He felt Yami’s other hand trail down his face, then cup his chin and lift his head. Their lips met for a long, silent moment.
Yugi finally pulled away. “That’s a good answer,” he said. “But are you sure-”
“I just want to be with you,” Yami whispered, before pulling him closer, wrapping his arms around his midriff, and kissing him again.
- - -
“Yugi…psst, Yugi, wake up.”
“Hmn…?” Slowly, Yugi opened his eyes. Yami was leaning over him. The room seemed to have lightened a bit from the early morning sun.
Sun?
Yugi bolted upright. “What time is it?”
“Don’t worry, it’s still early.”
He relaxed and fell back onto the mat. “Don’t scare me like that. For a moment I thought we overslept.” He noticed Yami still watching him. “Something wrong?”
“No. Just…you’re beautiful.”
Yugi reddened, pulling the blankets up to his neck, suddenly feeling self-conscious about his nakedness. The dark had made things less embarrassing. “You know you aren’t obligated to say romantic things the morning after.”
“Why would you think I’d only say it because I’m obligated to?”
“Because, I’m not at my best in the morning. My hair is probably one big tangle-”
“It looks fine.” Yami stroked his face. “You look great.”
Yugi smiled up at him. “You look pretty great yourself.”
Yami lay back down beside him, pulling him close under the sheets. Yugi rested his head against Yami’s chest as they slowly and gently traced the soft, now-familiar curves of each other’s bodies with their fingertips. “I love you,” Yugi murmured, almost unable to believe this was real. The night before…it had been a little scary in some ways, giving himself to someone else, afraid he would do something wrong. But it had been special, too. Special enough that inexperienced mistakes didn’t matter as much. Sure, he’d heard of love like this before, of the euphoric moments people talked about, but never had he dreamed he would have someone who would make him feel this way.
He felt Yami kiss the top of his head, but there were no return words. He forced away any disappointment. He couldn’t doubt Yami’s love now. Thousands of people got empty words; he should consider himself lucky that he needed to only look into Yami’s eyes or feel his touch to know his feelings were genuine.
“So,” he said. “Tomorrow it’s the start of the new year. Any regrets about this year?”
“None that really matter now,” Yami answered, holding him closer.
“None here, either,” Yugi said, smiling.
Yami held onto him for several more minutes before releasing him and saying, “You should get back to your room.”
“I know.” Yugi turned to search for his discarded clothes, forcing himself not to stare too much at Yami’s body as the covers fell away again. He had changed his mind about his original mild assessment of Yami’s looks. Now he wondered how he couldn't have noticed how attractive he was earlier. As he wriggled back into his pajama pants, he saw Yami turn away to reach for his own clothing and got another glimpse of the scar that mangled his left shoulder. It snaked from his arm to the bottom of his shoulder blade, leaving a path of knotted, twisted marks.
This time, Yami noticed him looking. His expression seemed to fall and he quickly turned to hide it from view.
“Our teacher warned us not to get out from under our desks,” he said quietly, “because of the ceiling damage. …I didn’t listen. There was an aftershock.”
Yugi moved closer and ran his fingers over the rough path of skin, causing Yami to twist around and glance at him.
“You know, you’re beautiful too,” Yugi said.
Yami smiled a little, almost sadly. “You’re not obligated to say romantic things just because it’s the morning after,” he said softly.
Yugi hugged him from behind and nuzzled the back of his neck. He felt Yami’s body slowly relax and whispered, “Believe me, I know.”
- - -
Despite the wonder of that night, they both knew it was too risky to chance often. Although they took what few opportunities for intimacy they could, Yugi would return to his room immediately as to not risk falling asleep where he may be caught, and they carefully disposed of any evidence. The precautions marred the afterglow, but they agreed that they couldn’t be careless. Yugi’s mother, seeing that Yami was apparently abiding by all the rules, began to warm towards Yami slightly and didn’t complain if he and Yugi shared a quick conversation. It wasn’t much, still not enough, but it was infinitely better than not being allowed to speak at all and for most of January things were looking up, until the day when the past intervened. When Yugi heard the front door opening and, knowing that Yami had left a few hours before to visit his mom, walked downstairs to meet him. It was past 10:30 at night and Yami usually came home at ten; Yugi was relieved to hear him come in.
“Yami, is that you? You’re back late.”
Yami froze, halfway in the door. “Oh…Yugi…um-”
“Yami? Is something-” Yugi trailed off, gaping.
Looking guilty, Yami slunk in the rest of the way and closed the door, his features becoming clearer in the light. Blood was dripping from his lip and nose, dark bruises had bloomed under his skin, and he seemed to be favoring his left leg.
“Yami!”
“It’s okay, it’s no big deal,” he said, even as he scratched at a cut on his cheek. “Nothing serious…”
“What are you talking about?! This is terrible, sit down, I’ll get the first aid and we can call the police-”
“No, no police. They don't care.”
“Yami, look at yourself,” Yugi growled. “The police would want to know that people are going around and doing this! It was those same people as before, wasn’t it?”
“Yes.” Yami gingerly eased his way up the stairs with Yugi following him, still berating him: “You need to tell someone, if they keep getting away with hurting you they’ll keep trying!”
Their voices had captured the attention of the others in the house.
“What happened?” Sugoroku asked, returning to the living room with the first aid kit, where Yugi had forced Yami to sit down on the couch. Yugi’s mother looked on from behind, frowning a little when Yugi snatched the kit from his grandfather and announced that he would clean up Yami’s wounds.
“Nothing, no big deal…just some old acquaintances.” Yami winced as Yugi patted a scrape with an alcohol wipe. “The route to Mom’s goes by a road that leads to the area of town I last lived in. They’re just a few people who I know. And they just happened to be out wandering, the landlord probably rousted them from whatever property they were loitering on before, and they happened on me. Probably made their night.”
“Yami, please let us call the police,” Yugi implored, touching his hand.
Yami smiled. “There’s no reason to get so dramatic. I’m fine. No broken bones, no serious injuries. I’ll just stay away from that part of town for a couple days and they’ll move along. They’re part of my world, not yours. I don’t want you guys involved.”
Yugi still appeared troubled. “But now they know that you follow that route-”
“Yugi, don’t worry.” He touched Yugi’s shoulder. “Look, I’ll be fine. I can take care of them if they decide to mess with me again. And that’s a big ‘if.’ Anyway, thank you all, but I’m exhausted so I’m going to bed. Good night.” He bowed his head in the direction of Yugi’s family, gave Yugi’s hand a quick secret squeeze, and limped his way back down the stairs to the shop.
Yugi sighed. He decided to give up on his argument, it was clear Yami wasn’t listening; however, a plan was starting to form in the back of his mind.
- - -
Several days later Yami decided to visit his mother one evening again, assuring Yugi that by now if anyone was watching his route, they would have given up. He promised to be back by ten, and as Yugi’s mother was in the shower, they even were able to share a long hug and kiss before he left. Yami departed in a very good mood.
About five minutes later, Yugi snuck out the back door and headed the direction he always saw Yami leave in. It was closing in on eight o’clock, and the streets weren’t very crowded, but the darkness and shadows were enough cover to stay hidden. He quickly spotted Yami in the distance.
The walk to Eve’s apartment building was uneventful, just as Yugi had hoped. Nothing happened, and Yugi spent most of the walk admiring Yami’s stride, (much too graceful, Yugi decided enviously). Once Yami had vanished up the stairs, Yugi turned back, checking street signs.
He said it was a street that led to where he lived last.
Finally, Yugi spotted one that looked promising. He had seen signs referring to Thirty-Fourth Street before when visiting Yami. Planting himself firmly on the sidewalk, he cupped his hands around his mouth and called, “Ezui! Are you here? Ezui! Come out, damn it, I know you’re around here!”
Nobody answered. Yugi tried calling again, and this time the only response was barking from a dog on a patio nearby. Yugi sighed and shrugged to himself. The plan had only been a long-shot at best, and at least he’d tried. Now he ought to get back home before his mom noticed he was gone.
“You called, Atemu?”
Yugi spun around to see Ezui, flanked by five other men, walking toward him. Ezui frowned at him. “Hey, you’re not Atemu, you’re that kid who hung out with him.”
“Told you his voice sounded weird,” one of the men behind him said. Ezui shushed him with a flick of his hand.
“So rich kid, any particular reason for calling me out?”
“My name is Yugi. And yes, I called.” Yugi folded his arms. “I want you to leave Yami alone. He hasn’t done anything to you.”
There were dark mutters from the other men.
Ezui scowled. “Is this about the other day? I always knew Atemu was a weakling, but sending a boy to fight his battles-”
“He didn’t send me! I came here on my own,” Yugi said.
“Look kid, Atemu isn’t one of us anymore,” Ezui replied. “He turned his back on his equals to go play at being the respected man he wanted to be. Therefore, when he comes on our territory now, it’s trespassing.”
“Do you listen to anything I say?” Yugi snapped. “I’m not asking you for excuses. I’m telling you, you will leave him alone.”
The other men stopped muttering amongst themselves. Even Ezui seemed to finally be paying attention, though when he spoke again his tone was still dismissive.
“I see no reason not to take out frustrations on him. He asks for it by coming around here. So thank you for your, er, warning. Yugi, was it? We’ll be sure to tell Atemu you asked.”
Yugi didn’t move. He was sick of their smirks, sick of Ezui’s flippant replies, sick of watching Yami shrug off injuries as part of life, and he wasn’t about to stand for it. He clenched his fists. “Fight me then.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Yami once fought you when you were bothering me. I’ll fight you for him. If I win, you won’t hurt him or me again. You’ll leave us alone and let him pass if you see him on the street.”
“And if we win?”
“There is no ‘we.’ Just me and you, Ezui. The two of us fight, and if you win, then you can make me your scapegoat.”
Yugi had thought it over. Jounouchi and Honda had taught him all of their basic fighting moves, and while Ezui surely had more experience, he looked malnourished and unsteady from his liberal consumption of alcohol. It was a gamble, but one that he felt would pay off, as long as Ezui agreed.
Ezui stared back at him and finally smiled, snake-like. “Fine. We fight.”
The other five men scattered into the shadows outside the limits of the streetlight. Yugi tightened his fists, but before he could take a single swing, someone behind him grabbed his arm, twisted it behind his back, and grabbed his other wrist.
“Hey!” Yugi said, struggling. “Let go!” Twisting around, he could see it was another of the men holding him back. He glared at Ezui. “You liar!”
“Don’t mistake me as being cut from the same pathetic cloth as Atemu,” Ezui said, sauntering forward. “Just because he keeps his word doesn’t mean I should keep mine.”
“You bastard-”
“Hey, you want to be part of this world so bad, here’s a tip,” said the man restraining him. “Don’t talk back to someone who has the upper hand.”
“You can let him go, Hiro,” Ezui said, waving his hand. “Run on home kid, you’re in way over your head.”
Yugi glared. “Fuck you,” he spat, wrenching his arms out of Hiro’s grasp. “I keep my word. I said we’ll fight, and we will.”
Ezui turned back. His eyes flashed. “You have five seconds to get out of my sight.”
Yugi waited. Fighting wasn’t his thing. It never had been. The number of times he’d been beaten up because he wasn’t a fighter was honestly rather pitiful. But now he imagined that he could do something to make a difference, that he could erase this painful tie to Yami’s past.
He had never felt so strong.
- - -
Yami arrived back at the Mutou’s at ten to find Yugi’s mother waiting for him.
“Evening,” he said, bowing his head as he passed.
She grabbed his arm, and Yami turned in confusion.
“Come here.” She was dragging him toward the stairs.
“Where are we going?” Yami asked, puzzled.
She stopped in the middle of the stairs. “Do you know where Yugi was tonight?”
“…Wasn’t he here?”
“No, he wasn’t! He vanished right after you left. Apparently, he decided he was going to follow you.”
Yami felt a stab of fear. “But I never asked him to…he’s here now, isn’t he? He’s not still missing?”
She was dragging him again. “He’s here, and you’re lucky he is. I was willing to give you one last chance, Yami. I know that you two still have feelings for each other, and I didn’t like it, but I was considering giving you a chance. But now…look at this!”
She pointed into the open door of Yugi’s room, glaring at Yami with tears in her eyes. “Look at what your world did to Yugi!”
Yami looked inside and felt his heart drop. Yugi was lying in bed. His eyes were closed. His skin looked unusual; a second look revealed the strange coloring was caused by bruises.
“Yugi…no…”
“The men who hurt you before did this,” she said darkly. “Apparently Yugi decided he was going to fight them to make them stop attacking you. He followed you, found them, and provoked them into fighting him.” Yami felt her grip tighten painfully. “It’s your fault this happened to him! If he didn’t know you, or if he hadn’t defended you, if he hadn’t been out trying to avenge you, he’d be okay right now. My son was beaten up because of you! He got hurt fighting your battles…are you so proud of your life now?”
Sugoroku heard the snarling and walked into the hall. Yami didn’t appear to hear his approach, his eyes were still fixed on his partner in the bed. “No…Yugi,” he whispered and looked over at the people in the hall, stricken. “Why isn’t he awake? Did he black out? Is he…?”
“He didn’t black out, don’t worry,” Sugoroku answered. “He wanted to stay up and wait for you, but he was in some pain and we convinced him to take medicine. It just made him sleepy, that’s all.”
They weren’t the words Yami wanted to hear. Desperate for someone to say “Yugi’s fine,” Yami wrenched his arm from Mrs. Mutou’s grasp with every intention of running into the room and shaking Yugi awake, but Sugoroku held out his arms to stop him.
“Let him sleep. You can talk in the morning,” he said, trying to comfort him. Yami could barely hear him. His own pounding heart had filled his ears.
Why wasn’t I there?
Yugi had done this for him? Why would he be so foolish? There was no way he could take on six people at once.
He got hurt because of me. My world hurt him.
The room was growing small; the air felt heavy enough to crush him.
Another person I love…not again…
“Not again,” he moaned, hands pressed to his face, unable to breathe. The walls spun around him and he dropped to his knees as his body went rigid. Blurry memories circled inside his mind, of other people, hurt and lying still on the ground, many of them with shrouds or clothing covering their fatal injuries. And while he knew that Yugi wasn’t dead, he got the same feeling as he had in that field of bodies, that terrible sense of unendurable loss, and of equally unendurable guilt.
Yugi…
“Yami!”
It was Yugi’s grandfather, his voice concerned, and even Yugi’s mother was watching with an odd expression. Yami looked up, feeling himself come back to the present. Still trembling, though not as badly, he forced his body to un-clench long enough to look up.
“I want to stay with him,” he said.
“No.” Yugi’s mother blocked the doorway. “You’ve done enough damage.”
“But-”
“You can see him when he wakes up, and that’s it. Now go.”
There was steel in her voice, and Yami wasn’t strong enough to fight. He gulped back sobs from where he remained, collapsed on the floor. He was barely aware of Sugoroku pulling him to his feet, saying that he should get some rest too.
A few minutes later, Yugi shifted and opened his eyes.
“Yami?” he asked vaguely.
“Yugi?” His mother hurried to his side. “I’m sorry, did the light wake you? I’ll turn it off.”
“Mom, was Yami here? I thought I heard him.”
“Shh, go back to sleep,” his mother said gently.
“Is Yami back? Does he know what happened?”
“Yes, we told him.”
Yugi sat up woozily and said, “I should go talk to him. He’s probably really upset-”
“You can talk to him in the morning, he’s already gone to bed.”
“No, really, I should talk to him now. I don’t want him to worry all night.”
“He’ll be even more upset if you don’t rest.”
“But I’m fine, Mom, I don’t need rest, the medicine just made me sleepy-”
“Yami wants you to rest,” she fibbed. “He said so. He’ll be happier if you do.”
“Oh.” Yugi slumped back against the pillows. “I guess…that’s okay then. Did you at least assure him that I’m fine? He gets anxious so easily, it’s really important that he knows.”
“Yes, of course I did. Everything is fine.”
“Okay.” He rolled onto his side. “Good night, Mom.”
“Good night Yugi,” she said, turning off the light as she left.
X - X - X
Notes: (Very long notes this time...) I’m turning 21 today! And because I’m equal parts excited and terrified to find out what you think about this chapter, today seemed like a good day to post it, considering that I have conflicting feelings about being 21 too. xD (The fact that this is Yami’s birthday chapter amuses me. I swear I didn’t have that planned.)
I’m going to take a serious aside for a moment here. I’m sure a lot of you have heard about the earthquake in Haiti by now. If not, Google “Haiti earthquake” and read up. I realize there are tragedies happening all over the world every day, and a lot of people might think, “why should we care about this one? It’s just a charity bandwagon everyone’s jumping on,” but it truly is a horrible situation right now. In writing this fic, I had to do some research on earthquakes and their victims, and so I’m feeling a sort of personal tug at this. I’d like to prevent a real-life version of this fic’s MC from happening, and I strongly encourage you, if you can, to help in some way. Donate to a reputable group such as Doctors Without Borders or the Red Cross, drop off hand-me-down clothes or food if there’s a drop-off place in your town, join the help_haiti LJ fundraising, or even just spread the word and encourage others to help. It could really make a difference.
(The following are the upbeat, happy notes I’d already had written for this chapter. xD)
This might be one of the most important chapters of the entire story. One bit of the story has come to an end, (Yami and Yugi taking the final step), and another bit has just been set off. I’m nervous as hell about posting it. But also very psyched, because I think the fic really starts to take off after this chapter. x3 Still, your thoughts? In general I prefer fade-to-blacks - I know many people consider them cop-outs, but romance interests me far more than lust. In this case especially, since the scene is important to show emotional development, not blatant sex appeal. Besides…I’d rather people read my fics for the storyline, not because they’re waiting for a steamy sex scene.
Not an easy characterization for badass Yugi either, trying to find a reason for a pacifist to actively seek a fight. ^^; He got saddled with some of my mama-bear syndrome. I’m a weakling and a pacifist too, but if someone fucks with my friends I get unusually violent.
There’s really no significance to Yami’s birthday. I put together the timeline after I wrote most of the fic - yes, seems counter-productive but it worked out - and his birthday happened to land on Dec. 30th.
And lastly, this chapter comes with fanart! (Drawn several months ago.)
Chapter: 09
Author: Chey (duelist_gurl163)
Rating: R
Genre: Angst/romance
Pairing: YamixYugi
Archive: Here
Overall warnings: AU, implied sex, insanity, violence
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Before he met Yugi, Yami spent his days panhandling alone. Yugi put his heart into changing Yami’s life, giving him companionship, a home and his love. But even he can’t save Yami from the control of his past, nor the dark path he is set upon.
Disclaimer: Yugioh continues to not belong to me.
- 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 05 - 06 - 07 - 08 -
---
Yami kept his promise. For the next four weeks Yugi only saw him in glimpses; he had even stopped eating dinner with them. And if they passed in a room, or Yugi found an excuse to go down to the shop, Yami was careful to give him only a polite greeting. It was a good act, it truly felt as if they weren’t a couple at all, and that hurt. Yugi longed for the way things used to be, the way they should be. He missed talking to him, holding him, kissing him…the pathetic few seconds they got to see each other did nothing but increase his want and he could see in Yami’s eyes that Yami felt the same, even as he upheld his end of the unfair bargain.
Even though Yugi knew it was better than Yami being forbidden to come on the property at all, he had never felt so lonely in his own house and it only got worse as the days passed.
The last straw came on December 30th, when he arrived home after going to the amusement park with Jounouchi and Honda, and his grandfather pulled him aside at the door where he was taking his shoes off.
“What’s going on?” Yugi asked, looking puzzled.
Sugoroku kept his voice low. “It’s Yami’s birthday.”
“What?”
“Today is Yami’s nineteenth birthday. I heard him asking your mother if you could come with him to celebrate at his mother’s apartment this evening.”
“What did Mom say?” Yugi asked, his heart speeding up excitedly. Surely she wouldn’t object to a simple birthday party, and he hadn’t spent time with Yami in weeks…
“She said no, and forbade him from telling you.”
His excitement turned to anger. “She wasn’t going to tell me that he offered? Or even tell me it was his birthday at all?”
“It seems not.”
Yugi flung his shoes at the wall. “This isn’t fair, his birthday is important and I’ve completely missed it because of Mom. I didn’t know about it, I didn’t get him a gift, I can’t go celebrate with him- this sucks! She hates him so much, all because of some stupid prejudice!” He waved his arms around as if energetic hand motions would express annoyance that words couldn’t. Then he looked up at his grandfather. “Wait, why are you telling me?”
“She didn’t forbid me from saying anything about it,” he said, and marched by up the stairs. Yugi half-smiled.
“Thanks Grandpa.”
Sugoroku turned and smiled back. “You, however, are forbidden from telling her that I told you.”
His half-smile became a full one. “Of course.”
- - -
Late that night Yami arrived back at the Mutou’s house, washed up as quietly as he could in the upstairs bathroom, and returned to his room. He stretched out on his stomach on his bed and tucked his head into the crook of his arm, too tired to even bother pulling a blanket over himself. He was just drifting off when he found himself being shaken awake.
Mumbling inquisitively, he rolled onto his back and felt someone press a finger to his lips. Then he heard Yugi’s voice whisper, “It’s me.”
“Yugi?” he asked, blinking and looking up to see Yugi leaning over him. Slowly, his mind cleared of sleepy fog. “Yugi, you can’t be down here, what if you’re caught-”
Yugi stroked his cheek, preoccupied with the joy of spending time with Yami again, and said, “I heard you upstairs. Happy birthday.”
Yami’s protests died away. “Who told you?”
“Grandpa did. I’m sorry, I wish I had been there tonight. I really wanted to be. Was it a good birthday anyway?”
“It was, but I also wish you had been able to celebrate with me,” Yami said, and smiled up at him. “I’ve missed you…so much.”
“I’ve missed you so much, too,” Yugi said, smiling back before he rose to his knees and swiveled his body to kneel over Yami. Yami’s body tensed.
“Yugi, what are you-?”
“I didn’t know until earlier, so I didn’t have time to go shopping,” he said, gazing down at him. “So consider this your gift.” He bent his head, lowering his body, and kissed him on the mouth. His tongue probed at Yami’s lips, which parted without resistance. Yami’s heart sped up. The craving born after weeks of separation killed any hesitation as he reached out, grasped Yugi’s nightshirt in his hands, and pulled him down harder, kissing him back. A guttural growl escaped his throat as they broke apart and met again.
“Mmn…Yami,” Yugi gasped between kisses. “Yami…” He had begun to tug at Yami’s shirt, pulling it up, exposing his chest and stomach. He let one hand explore Yami’s body, his nails drifting over his skin. He could feel Yami’s heart hammering against his ribs. He experimented with caresses, tracing the curve of his waist and hips, and as Yami’s skin heated, sweat made his chest slick. Finally, as Yugi’s fingers found and rubbed his nipples, Yami’s back arched and he mumbled against Yugi’s lips, his grip suddenly tightening and his kiss becoming fiercer. He released a purr of enjoyment, letting Yugi know he was free to continue, but his reaction only caused a return reaction in Yugi’s body - one that shot heat through his veins and culminated at the base of his legs. Startled by the sudden hot rush, Yugi pulled away.
Slowly, Yami unclenched his fists and released Yugi’s shirt. He fell back against the mat, breathless. “Yugi,” he murmured. His eyes opened, their red depths glowing. He reached out and pulled Yugi down to him, embracing him. Yugi, still breathing heavily, buried his face in his neck. This was not a particularly good idea, as it didn’t calm him down at all. Instead, the scent of Yami’s skin only increased his desire for closeness. He pressed his lips to his neck, claiming the sensitive place just under Yami’s ear. Yami shifted under him as Yugi kissed his way down his neck, reaching his throat.
Yami’s hands drifted up and down Yugi’s back, scrunching up his shirt around his shoulders. His fingers slid back down over bare skin, and this time didn’t stop at Yugi’s waist. Yugi murmured encouragement and pressed his hips down harder against his body. Their legs spread and tangled, and he could feel throbbing, damp heat between Yami’s; arousal as intense as his own - too intense to ignore.
Sudden uncertainty killed the moment. His hesitancy was not lost on his partner; it was Yami who came back to his senses first and asked, “Should we stop?”
Yugi sighed into his neck, rolled off of him and stretched out beside him on the mat. He stared up at the shadowed ceiling as the air cooled his damp skin. They had kissed and caressed this way before, but never to the point where one of them had to ask the big question. Now he had no idea how to answer.
“I don’t know,” he finally said. “I- I liked it.” He turned and saw Yami had rolled over and was looking back at him.
“I did too, but is it okay?” Yami asked. “Did you have this planned for tonight?”
“Not this exactly, but…” Yugi trailed off. It would be lying to say he hadn’t thought about the next step in their relationship. Of course he had…especially during the last few long weeks when loneliness had created more fantasies than usual. But to be honest he hadn’t exactly planned on taking that step tonight - he had intended to just stop in to give him a few kisses; however, now that they were here…it wouldn’t be very difficult to run back up to his bedroom and get what they needed. His parents had given him the talk about condoms and protection after he turned sixteen, when they decided his friendship with Anzu was bound to turn physical someday. He could be back within moments, and then…
Yami’s eyes still had that otherworldly brightness to them. His cheeks were flushed and his lips were slightly swollen from their desperate kisses. Yugi reached out and cupped his hand over Yami’s.
“It’s up to you,” he said as heat rose to his face. “I don’t expect anything. I didn’t have a plan, but we’ve been together for awhile and…if you wanted to stop that’s okay, but I wouldn’t mind taking the next step. I mean…it would be m-my first time. I’ve thought about it, I always figured someday we’d be here and I’ve thought about what I wanted and I- I decided that I’d like it to be with you.”
Yami’s voice was soft and shy. “It would be my first too.”
“Then I guess neither of us have to be ashamed of being…um…inexperienced?” Yugi said and laughed nervously, trying desperately to release some of his embarrassed anxiety. This conversation, while sweet, was causing his face to practically set aflame. He’d been far more composed when he was letting his instincts do all the work.
Yami slid closer. “So it’s okay with you as long as I think it is?”
Yugi nodded.
“Then…I think it’s okay too.”
Yugi’s heart was speeding up again, anticipation racing through him. This time he held onto his senses long enough to know they couldn’t just dive back in. “Just let me go upstairs and get…er, what we need. Y’know…protection and all.”
Yami smiled, giving a warming effect to the glow in his eyes, and nodded. Then his smile faded.
“The door,” he said.
“What?”
“The door. If anyone came near the stairs, they might hear something. It would be too much of a risk.”
Yugi hesitated, not wanting to suggest the first thought that came to mind. Doing so would be disrespecting Yami’s boundaries. But Yami looked just as disappointed as he felt, so he suggested tentatively, “We could close the door.”
He saw uncertainty enter Yami’s eyes and his gaze immediately shot toward the only exit.
“We don’t have to,” Yugi amended quickly. “I told you I don’t expect anything. It’s fine.”
Yami was still staring at the door, apparently deep in thought. He took in a long breath, and turned his hand to grasp Yugi’s before saying, “Close it.”
“What?”
“It’s okay to close it.”
“But you hate closed rooms.”
“I told you they don’t bother me as long as I feel safe.”
“But…I know you’re anxious right now, and that’s going to make you feel worse. Yami, don’t do this, don’t force yourself into something just because of me.”
Yami met his eyes again. “It’s fine. I’m with you, and I feel safe with you.”
Slowly, Yugi sat up. He squeezed Yami’s hand once, then stood and left the room, tiptoeing back up the stairs to his own room. He returned a minute later, holding two foil-wrapped packets and a small bottle of lotion - with no commercial lubricant available, it would have to do. He gently shut the door behind him. The room instantly grew darker and he hurried back to Yami’s side. The moment he lay back down beside him, Yami gripped his hand.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” Yugi asked.
He felt Yami’s other hand trail down his face, then cup his chin and lift his head. Their lips met for a long, silent moment.
Yugi finally pulled away. “That’s a good answer,” he said. “But are you sure-”
“I just want to be with you,” Yami whispered, before pulling him closer, wrapping his arms around his midriff, and kissing him again.
- - -
“Yugi…psst, Yugi, wake up.”
“Hmn…?” Slowly, Yugi opened his eyes. Yami was leaning over him. The room seemed to have lightened a bit from the early morning sun.
Sun?
Yugi bolted upright. “What time is it?”
“Don’t worry, it’s still early.”
He relaxed and fell back onto the mat. “Don’t scare me like that. For a moment I thought we overslept.” He noticed Yami still watching him. “Something wrong?”
“No. Just…you’re beautiful.”
Yugi reddened, pulling the blankets up to his neck, suddenly feeling self-conscious about his nakedness. The dark had made things less embarrassing. “You know you aren’t obligated to say romantic things the morning after.”
“Why would you think I’d only say it because I’m obligated to?”
“Because, I’m not at my best in the morning. My hair is probably one big tangle-”
“It looks fine.” Yami stroked his face. “You look great.”
Yugi smiled up at him. “You look pretty great yourself.”
Yami lay back down beside him, pulling him close under the sheets. Yugi rested his head against Yami’s chest as they slowly and gently traced the soft, now-familiar curves of each other’s bodies with their fingertips. “I love you,” Yugi murmured, almost unable to believe this was real. The night before…it had been a little scary in some ways, giving himself to someone else, afraid he would do something wrong. But it had been special, too. Special enough that inexperienced mistakes didn’t matter as much. Sure, he’d heard of love like this before, of the euphoric moments people talked about, but never had he dreamed he would have someone who would make him feel this way.
He felt Yami kiss the top of his head, but there were no return words. He forced away any disappointment. He couldn’t doubt Yami’s love now. Thousands of people got empty words; he should consider himself lucky that he needed to only look into Yami’s eyes or feel his touch to know his feelings were genuine.
“So,” he said. “Tomorrow it’s the start of the new year. Any regrets about this year?”
“None that really matter now,” Yami answered, holding him closer.
“None here, either,” Yugi said, smiling.
Yami held onto him for several more minutes before releasing him and saying, “You should get back to your room.”
“I know.” Yugi turned to search for his discarded clothes, forcing himself not to stare too much at Yami’s body as the covers fell away again. He had changed his mind about his original mild assessment of Yami’s looks. Now he wondered how he couldn't have noticed how attractive he was earlier. As he wriggled back into his pajama pants, he saw Yami turn away to reach for his own clothing and got another glimpse of the scar that mangled his left shoulder. It snaked from his arm to the bottom of his shoulder blade, leaving a path of knotted, twisted marks.
This time, Yami noticed him looking. His expression seemed to fall and he quickly turned to hide it from view.
“Our teacher warned us not to get out from under our desks,” he said quietly, “because of the ceiling damage. …I didn’t listen. There was an aftershock.”
Yugi moved closer and ran his fingers over the rough path of skin, causing Yami to twist around and glance at him.
“You know, you’re beautiful too,” Yugi said.
Yami smiled a little, almost sadly. “You’re not obligated to say romantic things just because it’s the morning after,” he said softly.
Yugi hugged him from behind and nuzzled the back of his neck. He felt Yami’s body slowly relax and whispered, “Believe me, I know.”
- - -
Despite the wonder of that night, they both knew it was too risky to chance often. Although they took what few opportunities for intimacy they could, Yugi would return to his room immediately as to not risk falling asleep where he may be caught, and they carefully disposed of any evidence. The precautions marred the afterglow, but they agreed that they couldn’t be careless. Yugi’s mother, seeing that Yami was apparently abiding by all the rules, began to warm towards Yami slightly and didn’t complain if he and Yugi shared a quick conversation. It wasn’t much, still not enough, but it was infinitely better than not being allowed to speak at all and for most of January things were looking up, until the day when the past intervened. When Yugi heard the front door opening and, knowing that Yami had left a few hours before to visit his mom, walked downstairs to meet him. It was past 10:30 at night and Yami usually came home at ten; Yugi was relieved to hear him come in.
“Yami, is that you? You’re back late.”
Yami froze, halfway in the door. “Oh…Yugi…um-”
“Yami? Is something-” Yugi trailed off, gaping.
Looking guilty, Yami slunk in the rest of the way and closed the door, his features becoming clearer in the light. Blood was dripping from his lip and nose, dark bruises had bloomed under his skin, and he seemed to be favoring his left leg.
“Yami!”
“It’s okay, it’s no big deal,” he said, even as he scratched at a cut on his cheek. “Nothing serious…”
“What are you talking about?! This is terrible, sit down, I’ll get the first aid and we can call the police-”
“No, no police. They don't care.”
“Yami, look at yourself,” Yugi growled. “The police would want to know that people are going around and doing this! It was those same people as before, wasn’t it?”
“Yes.” Yami gingerly eased his way up the stairs with Yugi following him, still berating him: “You need to tell someone, if they keep getting away with hurting you they’ll keep trying!”
Their voices had captured the attention of the others in the house.
“What happened?” Sugoroku asked, returning to the living room with the first aid kit, where Yugi had forced Yami to sit down on the couch. Yugi’s mother looked on from behind, frowning a little when Yugi snatched the kit from his grandfather and announced that he would clean up Yami’s wounds.
“Nothing, no big deal…just some old acquaintances.” Yami winced as Yugi patted a scrape with an alcohol wipe. “The route to Mom’s goes by a road that leads to the area of town I last lived in. They’re just a few people who I know. And they just happened to be out wandering, the landlord probably rousted them from whatever property they were loitering on before, and they happened on me. Probably made their night.”
“Yami, please let us call the police,” Yugi implored, touching his hand.
Yami smiled. “There’s no reason to get so dramatic. I’m fine. No broken bones, no serious injuries. I’ll just stay away from that part of town for a couple days and they’ll move along. They’re part of my world, not yours. I don’t want you guys involved.”
Yugi still appeared troubled. “But now they know that you follow that route-”
“Yugi, don’t worry.” He touched Yugi’s shoulder. “Look, I’ll be fine. I can take care of them if they decide to mess with me again. And that’s a big ‘if.’ Anyway, thank you all, but I’m exhausted so I’m going to bed. Good night.” He bowed his head in the direction of Yugi’s family, gave Yugi’s hand a quick secret squeeze, and limped his way back down the stairs to the shop.
Yugi sighed. He decided to give up on his argument, it was clear Yami wasn’t listening; however, a plan was starting to form in the back of his mind.
- - -
Several days later Yami decided to visit his mother one evening again, assuring Yugi that by now if anyone was watching his route, they would have given up. He promised to be back by ten, and as Yugi’s mother was in the shower, they even were able to share a long hug and kiss before he left. Yami departed in a very good mood.
About five minutes later, Yugi snuck out the back door and headed the direction he always saw Yami leave in. It was closing in on eight o’clock, and the streets weren’t very crowded, but the darkness and shadows were enough cover to stay hidden. He quickly spotted Yami in the distance.
The walk to Eve’s apartment building was uneventful, just as Yugi had hoped. Nothing happened, and Yugi spent most of the walk admiring Yami’s stride, (much too graceful, Yugi decided enviously). Once Yami had vanished up the stairs, Yugi turned back, checking street signs.
He said it was a street that led to where he lived last.
Finally, Yugi spotted one that looked promising. He had seen signs referring to Thirty-Fourth Street before when visiting Yami. Planting himself firmly on the sidewalk, he cupped his hands around his mouth and called, “Ezui! Are you here? Ezui! Come out, damn it, I know you’re around here!”
Nobody answered. Yugi tried calling again, and this time the only response was barking from a dog on a patio nearby. Yugi sighed and shrugged to himself. The plan had only been a long-shot at best, and at least he’d tried. Now he ought to get back home before his mom noticed he was gone.
“You called, Atemu?”
Yugi spun around to see Ezui, flanked by five other men, walking toward him. Ezui frowned at him. “Hey, you’re not Atemu, you’re that kid who hung out with him.”
“Told you his voice sounded weird,” one of the men behind him said. Ezui shushed him with a flick of his hand.
“So rich kid, any particular reason for calling me out?”
“My name is Yugi. And yes, I called.” Yugi folded his arms. “I want you to leave Yami alone. He hasn’t done anything to you.”
There were dark mutters from the other men.
Ezui scowled. “Is this about the other day? I always knew Atemu was a weakling, but sending a boy to fight his battles-”
“He didn’t send me! I came here on my own,” Yugi said.
“Look kid, Atemu isn’t one of us anymore,” Ezui replied. “He turned his back on his equals to go play at being the respected man he wanted to be. Therefore, when he comes on our territory now, it’s trespassing.”
“Do you listen to anything I say?” Yugi snapped. “I’m not asking you for excuses. I’m telling you, you will leave him alone.”
The other men stopped muttering amongst themselves. Even Ezui seemed to finally be paying attention, though when he spoke again his tone was still dismissive.
“I see no reason not to take out frustrations on him. He asks for it by coming around here. So thank you for your, er, warning. Yugi, was it? We’ll be sure to tell Atemu you asked.”
Yugi didn’t move. He was sick of their smirks, sick of Ezui’s flippant replies, sick of watching Yami shrug off injuries as part of life, and he wasn’t about to stand for it. He clenched his fists. “Fight me then.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Yami once fought you when you were bothering me. I’ll fight you for him. If I win, you won’t hurt him or me again. You’ll leave us alone and let him pass if you see him on the street.”
“And if we win?”
“There is no ‘we.’ Just me and you, Ezui. The two of us fight, and if you win, then you can make me your scapegoat.”
Yugi had thought it over. Jounouchi and Honda had taught him all of their basic fighting moves, and while Ezui surely had more experience, he looked malnourished and unsteady from his liberal consumption of alcohol. It was a gamble, but one that he felt would pay off, as long as Ezui agreed.
Ezui stared back at him and finally smiled, snake-like. “Fine. We fight.”
The other five men scattered into the shadows outside the limits of the streetlight. Yugi tightened his fists, but before he could take a single swing, someone behind him grabbed his arm, twisted it behind his back, and grabbed his other wrist.
“Hey!” Yugi said, struggling. “Let go!” Twisting around, he could see it was another of the men holding him back. He glared at Ezui. “You liar!”
“Don’t mistake me as being cut from the same pathetic cloth as Atemu,” Ezui said, sauntering forward. “Just because he keeps his word doesn’t mean I should keep mine.”
“You bastard-”
“Hey, you want to be part of this world so bad, here’s a tip,” said the man restraining him. “Don’t talk back to someone who has the upper hand.”
“You can let him go, Hiro,” Ezui said, waving his hand. “Run on home kid, you’re in way over your head.”
Yugi glared. “Fuck you,” he spat, wrenching his arms out of Hiro’s grasp. “I keep my word. I said we’ll fight, and we will.”
Ezui turned back. His eyes flashed. “You have five seconds to get out of my sight.”
Yugi waited. Fighting wasn’t his thing. It never had been. The number of times he’d been beaten up because he wasn’t a fighter was honestly rather pitiful. But now he imagined that he could do something to make a difference, that he could erase this painful tie to Yami’s past.
He had never felt so strong.
- - -
Yami arrived back at the Mutou’s at ten to find Yugi’s mother waiting for him.
“Evening,” he said, bowing his head as he passed.
She grabbed his arm, and Yami turned in confusion.
“Come here.” She was dragging him toward the stairs.
“Where are we going?” Yami asked, puzzled.
She stopped in the middle of the stairs. “Do you know where Yugi was tonight?”
“…Wasn’t he here?”
“No, he wasn’t! He vanished right after you left. Apparently, he decided he was going to follow you.”
Yami felt a stab of fear. “But I never asked him to…he’s here now, isn’t he? He’s not still missing?”
She was dragging him again. “He’s here, and you’re lucky he is. I was willing to give you one last chance, Yami. I know that you two still have feelings for each other, and I didn’t like it, but I was considering giving you a chance. But now…look at this!”
She pointed into the open door of Yugi’s room, glaring at Yami with tears in her eyes. “Look at what your world did to Yugi!”
Yami looked inside and felt his heart drop. Yugi was lying in bed. His eyes were closed. His skin looked unusual; a second look revealed the strange coloring was caused by bruises.
“Yugi…no…”
“The men who hurt you before did this,” she said darkly. “Apparently Yugi decided he was going to fight them to make them stop attacking you. He followed you, found them, and provoked them into fighting him.” Yami felt her grip tighten painfully. “It’s your fault this happened to him! If he didn’t know you, or if he hadn’t defended you, if he hadn’t been out trying to avenge you, he’d be okay right now. My son was beaten up because of you! He got hurt fighting your battles…are you so proud of your life now?”
Sugoroku heard the snarling and walked into the hall. Yami didn’t appear to hear his approach, his eyes were still fixed on his partner in the bed. “No…Yugi,” he whispered and looked over at the people in the hall, stricken. “Why isn’t he awake? Did he black out? Is he…?”
“He didn’t black out, don’t worry,” Sugoroku answered. “He wanted to stay up and wait for you, but he was in some pain and we convinced him to take medicine. It just made him sleepy, that’s all.”
They weren’t the words Yami wanted to hear. Desperate for someone to say “Yugi’s fine,” Yami wrenched his arm from Mrs. Mutou’s grasp with every intention of running into the room and shaking Yugi awake, but Sugoroku held out his arms to stop him.
“Let him sleep. You can talk in the morning,” he said, trying to comfort him. Yami could barely hear him. His own pounding heart had filled his ears.
Why wasn’t I there?
Yugi had done this for him? Why would he be so foolish? There was no way he could take on six people at once.
He got hurt because of me. My world hurt him.
The room was growing small; the air felt heavy enough to crush him.
Another person I love…not again…
“Not again,” he moaned, hands pressed to his face, unable to breathe. The walls spun around him and he dropped to his knees as his body went rigid. Blurry memories circled inside his mind, of other people, hurt and lying still on the ground, many of them with shrouds or clothing covering their fatal injuries. And while he knew that Yugi wasn’t dead, he got the same feeling as he had in that field of bodies, that terrible sense of unendurable loss, and of equally unendurable guilt.
Yugi…
“Yami!”
It was Yugi’s grandfather, his voice concerned, and even Yugi’s mother was watching with an odd expression. Yami looked up, feeling himself come back to the present. Still trembling, though not as badly, he forced his body to un-clench long enough to look up.
“I want to stay with him,” he said.
“No.” Yugi’s mother blocked the doorway. “You’ve done enough damage.”
“But-”
“You can see him when he wakes up, and that’s it. Now go.”
There was steel in her voice, and Yami wasn’t strong enough to fight. He gulped back sobs from where he remained, collapsed on the floor. He was barely aware of Sugoroku pulling him to his feet, saying that he should get some rest too.
A few minutes later, Yugi shifted and opened his eyes.
“Yami?” he asked vaguely.
“Yugi?” His mother hurried to his side. “I’m sorry, did the light wake you? I’ll turn it off.”
“Mom, was Yami here? I thought I heard him.”
“Shh, go back to sleep,” his mother said gently.
“Is Yami back? Does he know what happened?”
“Yes, we told him.”
Yugi sat up woozily and said, “I should go talk to him. He’s probably really upset-”
“You can talk to him in the morning, he’s already gone to bed.”
“No, really, I should talk to him now. I don’t want him to worry all night.”
“He’ll be even more upset if you don’t rest.”
“But I’m fine, Mom, I don’t need rest, the medicine just made me sleepy-”
“Yami wants you to rest,” she fibbed. “He said so. He’ll be happier if you do.”
“Oh.” Yugi slumped back against the pillows. “I guess…that’s okay then. Did you at least assure him that I’m fine? He gets anxious so easily, it’s really important that he knows.”
“Yes, of course I did. Everything is fine.”
“Okay.” He rolled onto his side. “Good night, Mom.”
“Good night Yugi,” she said, turning off the light as she left.
X - X - X
Notes: (Very long notes this time...) I’m turning 21 today! And because I’m equal parts excited and terrified to find out what you think about this chapter, today seemed like a good day to post it, considering that I have conflicting feelings about being 21 too. xD (The fact that this is Yami’s birthday chapter amuses me. I swear I didn’t have that planned.)
I’m going to take a serious aside for a moment here. I’m sure a lot of you have heard about the earthquake in Haiti by now. If not, Google “Haiti earthquake” and read up. I realize there are tragedies happening all over the world every day, and a lot of people might think, “why should we care about this one? It’s just a charity bandwagon everyone’s jumping on,” but it truly is a horrible situation right now. In writing this fic, I had to do some research on earthquakes and their victims, and so I’m feeling a sort of personal tug at this. I’d like to prevent a real-life version of this fic’s MC from happening, and I strongly encourage you, if you can, to help in some way. Donate to a reputable group such as Doctors Without Borders or the Red Cross, drop off hand-me-down clothes or food if there’s a drop-off place in your town, join the help_haiti LJ fundraising, or even just spread the word and encourage others to help. It could really make a difference.
(The following are the upbeat, happy notes I’d already had written for this chapter. xD)
This might be one of the most important chapters of the entire story. One bit of the story has come to an end, (Yami and Yugi taking the final step), and another bit has just been set off. I’m nervous as hell about posting it. But also very psyched, because I think the fic really starts to take off after this chapter. x3 Still, your thoughts? In general I prefer fade-to-blacks - I know many people consider them cop-outs, but romance interests me far more than lust. In this case especially, since the scene is important to show emotional development, not blatant sex appeal. Besides…I’d rather people read my fics for the storyline, not because they’re waiting for a steamy sex scene.
Not an easy characterization for badass Yugi either, trying to find a reason for a pacifist to actively seek a fight. ^^; He got saddled with some of my mama-bear syndrome. I’m a weakling and a pacifist too, but if someone fucks with my friends I get unusually violent.
There’s really no significance to Yami’s birthday. I put together the timeline after I wrote most of the fic - yes, seems counter-productive but it worked out - and his birthday happened to land on Dec. 30th.
And lastly, this chapter comes with fanart! (Drawn several months ago.)