Cracky Puzzleshippy Script-style fic Pt. 3
And here's Part Three~
BTW, the lyrics I keep using for the cuts are from "Wherever You Will Go" by The Calling. It's a puzzleshippy song! *SHOT*
Sorry for the weirdo spacing again...
*Twenty Minutes Later*
Jounouchi: *studies scene* “Not bad. The chocolate handcuffs were a nice touch.”
Noa: “I can’t believe they actually sell chocolate handcuffs.”
Honda: “You’d be surprised at the things people think up.”
Malik: “Wow, you should watch these people bid man, I posted one still shot and a description as bait and they’re topping each other left and right for the whole movie…”
Anzu: “Hey, that doesn’t look like e-bay. Where are you selling this stuff?”
Malik: “Just this site I found. And check out the awesome sound effect when I go to the home page…”
Computer: “You’ve got hentai!”
Malik: *hysterical* “Damn, that’s so cool!”
Anzu: *blinks* “Uhh…”
Mokuba: *eyebrow quirk* “Just keep an eye on the bidding, will you??"
Malik: “Don’cha worry your bushy-haired head about it. I’ve also got a copy up for sale on e-bay.”
Anzu: “You know, it’s surprising that people will bid for such a badly-made piece of bishounen and uke pornography."
Computer: “You’ve actually got good entertainment so people will pay a lot!”
Malik: “What the computer just said.”
Jounouchi: “Hey…where’s Kaiba?”
Kaiba: *has vanished from the room along with his clothes*
Otogi: “Darn, he must have escaped while we were busy arranging the other three.”
Mai: “Well, we can film this without him. He isn’t a bishounen anyway.”
Yugi: *begins to regain consciousness* “Owww…where am I?”
Yami Bakura: *cheerfully* “You’re on candid Otogi’s-Hentai-Cam! Smile for posterity.”
Yugi: *stares as he looks around and sees where he is* “Please tell me this is a dream.”
Otogi: “Nope.” *films happily* “We’ve got people bidding each other right now for this video!”
Yugi: “Holy crap…WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO TO US??? And why are we naked??? I don’t want to be naked in public!”
Anzu: “But you have such captivating nether regions.”
Yugi: *stares* “I did NOT just hear that.”
Computer: “You’ve got mail from e-bay!”
Mai: “Is it just me, or is that computer oddly talkative?”
Computer: “You’ve got paranoid-delusional tendencies!”
Mai: “I DIDN’T ASK YOU!”
Malik: *reading the e-mail* “Wow, lookie, we’ve broken the record for the most bids in the shortest time on both e-bay and the Hentai Site.”
Yugi: *lifts his arm* “What the...are these handcuffs made out of…chocolate?”
Honda: “Yep.”
Yugi: “I don’t believe it.”
Noa: “Yeah, that’s what I said when I saw them too.”
Yugi: “Chocolate handcuffs, now why didn’t Atemu and I ever think of these?”
Everyone: *falls over in exasperation*
Honda: *reading the box* “Actually, they’re regular handcuffs dipped in chocolate.”
Mariku: “So, what should be put on this video, now that we’ve got everything arranged?”
Yugi: :*still puzzling out his situation* “What is this stuff you tied us up with? It’s sticky!”
Yami Bakura: “Flavored rope. This is peppermint. We used up all Atemu’s ribbon on Kaiba.”
Yugi: “Peppermint rope and chocolate handcuffs. What’s up with all the flavored bondage products these days anyway?” *pause* “Hey, what do you mean you used up Atemu’s ribbon on Kaiba!? Atemu’s not going to like that! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find black silk ribbon? We had to get it from a catalog and wait three-to-four weeks for delivery-”
Otogi: “For Kami-sama’s sake, not this again. Someone hit Yugi with the 2x4, he’s messing up the artistic beauty by talking!”
Mai: “How exactly do you plan to make a movie out of this if all the participants are unconscious?”
Noa: “She has a point.”
Otogi: “You guys are all such pessimists! I can guarantee you that a video of Bakura, Yugi, and Atemu’s shapely asses will garner more than you guys could ever imagine. Fangirls go nuts for all three of them, and three hot naked bishounen all tied together will make history in the entertainment books. Even unconscious.”
Yugi: “What the…? That’s what this is all about? That’s why I’m handcuffed to Atemu and Bakura with chocolate and have freakin’ peppermint-flavored rope tangled in my pubes? BECAUSE YOU’RE MAKING A MOVIE???”
Otogi: “Bingo.”
Yugi: “Would someone please hit me with the 2x4? I don’t want to be conscious for the rest of this.”
Mokuba: “Can do.” *hefts 2x4*
Jounouchi: “Now wait just a second. I’m all for the selling of shapely bishounen bodies, but I’m not letting you guys hit Yugi! That’s not cool.”
Malik: “Nice going, now we’re going to have to hit you too.”
Jounouchi: *heroic* “You can hit me as many times as you want, because I’m not going to let you beat up on Yugi, because I-“
Yami Bakura: *hits him with the 2x4*
Jounouchi: *knocked out*
Rebecca: *suddenly walks into the room* “What did I hear you were going to do to my cute little Yugi?!”
Yugi: *hopeful of a rescue*
Otogi: “We stripped him naked, tied him up with peppermint rope and chocolate handcuffs, and stuck him in a bondage circle with another uke, and a slight-seme, and we’re filming it.
Rebecca: O.O “Wow…sweet, sign me up for a copy of this video!!” *leaves*
Yugi: *sigh*
*the door to the room suddenly swings open and two men in suits walk in*
Everyone except Atemu, Bakura, and Jounouchi, all of whom are knocked out: “What the…?”
Otogi: “Oi, don’t you people have any manners?! You don’t just barge into someone’s house while they’re trying to film a movie.”
Yugi: “Yeah, but you also don’t strip your friends naked, tie them up in group bondage, and attempt to sell a video of the whole thing on e-bay.”
Otogi: “I do! And I’m not going to attempt to sell this video, I will sell this video."
Stranger 1: *bow* “Hello. I’m Ray Summers, and I represent Playgirl Magazine in America. In the last half hour, our company has received 1,233,984 phone calls from rabid fangirls who saw your offer for this movie online. They want us to purchase it from you and put screenshots in the magazine.”
Stranger 2: *bow* “And I’m Arnold Key, I’m in charge of the Playgirl Online Store, I’d like to sell the video in our store.”
Everyone except Atemu, Bakura, and Jounouchi, all of whom are knocked out: *glance at each other*
Honda: *quizzical* “Anyone here speak English well?”
Mai: *translates* “They’re offering to buy your video that you’re filming.”
Otogi: “So that’s why they barged into my house?”
Anzu: “Yep.”
Otogi: *sorta knows English too* “Sweet! Okay, you guys have a deal.”
Mai: *smacks him* “You idiot, we can’t just hand it over! We’ve got to talk this over. Do you want to get some really bad deal for it?"
Otogi: “No!”
Malik: “I say we sell it online. I don’t trust Americans that just barge into people’s houses.”
Mariku: “You don’t trust anyone. And in case you forgot, WE barged into THIS house."
Malik: “Ah! But we’re not Americans.”
Skizuka: “Mike-chan still thinks we should all have hot chocolate.”
Noa: “If Mike wants hot chocolate that badly, he can go get it himself, or tell him to shut up about it.”
Shizuka: “But Mike-chan gets lonely all by himself. I’ll go make some with him.”
Mokuba: “Jounouchi will be mad if he finds out you were talking to Mike again.”
Otogi: “You’re going to make hot chocolate? Great, make me a mug too, filming really takes it out of you.”
Honda: “I think we should decide how much to sell the video for.”
Anzu: *whaps him with a random object* “We’ll get to that in a minute! Shizuka-chan, make me some hot chocolate too.”
Ray and Arnold: *glance back and forth around the group trying to figure out what they’re saying*
Mai: *helpfully* “They’re discussing your offer.”
Malik: “We should concentrate on this offer first and make sure we’re not getting gypped.”
Mariku: “I want hot chocolate too!”
Honda: “We should sell the video to the highest bidder, and worry about drinks later, after it’s finished and sold. It’s not even completed yet.”
Shizuka: “But Mike-chan wants hot chocolate now, he said he’s waited long enough.”
Noa: “I didn’t hear him say anything.”
Mike: “Can you hear me now?”
Noa: *freaks out because Mike is really still in the room and is really still invisible and is really still talking*
Honda: “VIDEO FIRST!”
Anzu: “HOT CHOCOLATE FIRST!”
Yugi: “I want some hot chocolate.”
Yami Bakura: “You’re part of the video, you get hot chocolate when we’re finished!”
Noa: “VIDEO!”
Otogi: “HOT CHOCOLATE!”
Yugi: “FORGET THE VIDEO AND UNTIE US!”
Computer: “You’ve got a dispute!”
And now on to Pt. 4. ^__^
BTW, the lyrics I keep using for the cuts are from "Wherever You Will Go" by The Calling. It's a puzzleshippy song! *SHOT*
Sorry for the weirdo spacing again...
*Twenty Minutes Later*
Jounouchi: *studies scene* “Not bad. The chocolate handcuffs were a nice touch.”
Noa: “I can’t believe they actually sell chocolate handcuffs.”
Honda: “You’d be surprised at the things people think up.”
Malik: “Wow, you should watch these people bid man, I posted one still shot and a description as bait and they’re topping each other left and right for the whole movie…”
Anzu: “Hey, that doesn’t look like e-bay. Where are you selling this stuff?”
Malik: “Just this site I found. And check out the awesome sound effect when I go to the home page…”
Computer: “You’ve got hentai!”
Malik: *hysterical* “Damn, that’s so cool!”
Anzu: *blinks* “Uhh…”
Mokuba: *eyebrow quirk* “Just keep an eye on the bidding, will you??"
Malik: “Don’cha worry your bushy-haired head about it. I’ve also got a copy up for sale on e-bay.”
Anzu: “You know, it’s surprising that people will bid for such a badly-made piece of bishounen and uke pornography."
Computer: “You’ve actually got good entertainment so people will pay a lot!”
Malik: “What the computer just said.”
Jounouchi: “Hey…where’s Kaiba?”
Kaiba: *has vanished from the room along with his clothes*
Otogi: “Darn, he must have escaped while we were busy arranging the other three.”
Mai: “Well, we can film this without him. He isn’t a bishounen anyway.”
Yugi: *begins to regain consciousness* “Owww…where am I?”
Yami Bakura: *cheerfully* “You’re on candid Otogi’s-Hentai-Cam! Smile for posterity.”
Yugi: *stares as he looks around and sees where he is* “Please tell me this is a dream.”
Otogi: “Nope.” *films happily* “We’ve got people bidding each other right now for this video!”
Yugi: “Holy crap…WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO TO US??? And why are we naked??? I don’t want to be naked in public!”
Anzu: “But you have such captivating nether regions.”
Yugi: *stares* “I did NOT just hear that.”
Computer: “You’ve got mail from e-bay!”
Mai: “Is it just me, or is that computer oddly talkative?”
Computer: “You’ve got paranoid-delusional tendencies!”
Mai: “I DIDN’T ASK YOU!”
Malik: *reading the e-mail* “Wow, lookie, we’ve broken the record for the most bids in the shortest time on both e-bay and the Hentai Site.”
Yugi: *lifts his arm* “What the...are these handcuffs made out of…chocolate?”
Honda: “Yep.”
Yugi: “I don’t believe it.”
Noa: “Yeah, that’s what I said when I saw them too.”
Yugi: “Chocolate handcuffs, now why didn’t Atemu and I ever think of these?”
Everyone: *falls over in exasperation*
Honda: *reading the box* “Actually, they’re regular handcuffs dipped in chocolate.”
Mariku: “So, what should be put on this video, now that we’ve got everything arranged?”
Yugi: :*still puzzling out his situation* “What is this stuff you tied us up with? It’s sticky!”
Yami Bakura: “Flavored rope. This is peppermint. We used up all Atemu’s ribbon on Kaiba.”
Yugi: “Peppermint rope and chocolate handcuffs. What’s up with all the flavored bondage products these days anyway?” *pause* “Hey, what do you mean you used up Atemu’s ribbon on Kaiba!? Atemu’s not going to like that! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find black silk ribbon? We had to get it from a catalog and wait three-to-four weeks for delivery-”
Otogi: “For Kami-sama’s sake, not this again. Someone hit Yugi with the 2x4, he’s messing up the artistic beauty by talking!”
Mai: “How exactly do you plan to make a movie out of this if all the participants are unconscious?”
Noa: “She has a point.”
Otogi: “You guys are all such pessimists! I can guarantee you that a video of Bakura, Yugi, and Atemu’s shapely asses will garner more than you guys could ever imagine. Fangirls go nuts for all three of them, and three hot naked bishounen all tied together will make history in the entertainment books. Even unconscious.”
Yugi: “What the…? That’s what this is all about? That’s why I’m handcuffed to Atemu and Bakura with chocolate and have freakin’ peppermint-flavored rope tangled in my pubes? BECAUSE YOU’RE MAKING A MOVIE???”
Otogi: “Bingo.”
Yugi: “Would someone please hit me with the 2x4? I don’t want to be conscious for the rest of this.”
Mokuba: “Can do.” *hefts 2x4*
Jounouchi: “Now wait just a second. I’m all for the selling of shapely bishounen bodies, but I’m not letting you guys hit Yugi! That’s not cool.”
Malik: “Nice going, now we’re going to have to hit you too.”
Jounouchi: *heroic* “You can hit me as many times as you want, because I’m not going to let you beat up on Yugi, because I-“
Yami Bakura: *hits him with the 2x4*
Jounouchi: *knocked out*
Rebecca: *suddenly walks into the room* “What did I hear you were going to do to my cute little Yugi?!”
Yugi: *hopeful of a rescue*
Otogi: “We stripped him naked, tied him up with peppermint rope and chocolate handcuffs, and stuck him in a bondage circle with another uke, and a slight-seme, and we’re filming it.
Rebecca: O.O “Wow…sweet, sign me up for a copy of this video!!” *leaves*
Yugi: *sigh*
*the door to the room suddenly swings open and two men in suits walk in*
Everyone except Atemu, Bakura, and Jounouchi, all of whom are knocked out: “What the…?”
Otogi: “Oi, don’t you people have any manners?! You don’t just barge into someone’s house while they’re trying to film a movie.”
Yugi: “Yeah, but you also don’t strip your friends naked, tie them up in group bondage, and attempt to sell a video of the whole thing on e-bay.”
Otogi: “I do! And I’m not going to attempt to sell this video, I will sell this video."
Stranger 1: *bow* “Hello. I’m Ray Summers, and I represent Playgirl Magazine in America. In the last half hour, our company has received 1,233,984 phone calls from rabid fangirls who saw your offer for this movie online. They want us to purchase it from you and put screenshots in the magazine.”
Stranger 2: *bow* “And I’m Arnold Key, I’m in charge of the Playgirl Online Store, I’d like to sell the video in our store.”
Everyone except Atemu, Bakura, and Jounouchi, all of whom are knocked out: *glance at each other*
Honda: *quizzical* “Anyone here speak English well?”
Mai: *translates* “They’re offering to buy your video that you’re filming.”
Otogi: “So that’s why they barged into my house?”
Anzu: “Yep.”
Otogi: *sorta knows English too* “Sweet! Okay, you guys have a deal.”
Mai: *smacks him* “You idiot, we can’t just hand it over! We’ve got to talk this over. Do you want to get some really bad deal for it?"
Otogi: “No!”
Malik: “I say we sell it online. I don’t trust Americans that just barge into people’s houses.”
Mariku: “You don’t trust anyone. And in case you forgot, WE barged into THIS house."
Malik: “Ah! But we’re not Americans.”
Skizuka: “Mike-chan still thinks we should all have hot chocolate.”
Noa: “If Mike wants hot chocolate that badly, he can go get it himself, or tell him to shut up about it.”
Shizuka: “But Mike-chan gets lonely all by himself. I’ll go make some with him.”
Mokuba: “Jounouchi will be mad if he finds out you were talking to Mike again.”
Otogi: “You’re going to make hot chocolate? Great, make me a mug too, filming really takes it out of you.”
Honda: “I think we should decide how much to sell the video for.”
Anzu: *whaps him with a random object* “We’ll get to that in a minute! Shizuka-chan, make me some hot chocolate too.”
Ray and Arnold: *glance back and forth around the group trying to figure out what they’re saying*
Mai: *helpfully* “They’re discussing your offer.”
Malik: “We should concentrate on this offer first and make sure we’re not getting gypped.”
Mariku: “I want hot chocolate too!”
Honda: “We should sell the video to the highest bidder, and worry about drinks later, after it’s finished and sold. It’s not even completed yet.”
Shizuka: “But Mike-chan wants hot chocolate now, he said he’s waited long enough.”
Noa: “I didn’t hear him say anything.”
Mike: “Can you hear me now?”
Noa: *freaks out because Mike is really still in the room and is really still invisible and is really still talking*
Honda: “VIDEO FIRST!”
Anzu: “HOT CHOCOLATE FIRST!”
Yugi: “I want some hot chocolate.”
Yami Bakura: “You’re part of the video, you get hot chocolate when we’re finished!”
Noa: “VIDEO!”
Otogi: “HOT CHOCOLATE!”
Yugi: “FORGET THE VIDEO AND UNTIE US!”
Computer: “You’ve got a dispute!”
And now on to Pt. 4. ^__^