(no subject)
I am really hating this week...
Every time I try to make plans, they have fallen through somehow, mainly due to work. I'm starting to regret taking on a second job. *sigh* But, alas, I need the money. Social life for me is put on hold. *cries* I think I'm just so frustrated is because I'm back to my same old thing. I go to work, come home, eat and sleep. THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO IT. Sure, I have friends come over and all that jazz. But I need to get out of Searcy. O_O; Watching movies & internet is not cutting it.
I think I'm so agitated is that fact that it's spring and I'm working ALLTHETIME, and/or it's been exactly three years since I've dated. I swear my family thinks I'm a lesbian due to the fact that I rarely ever hang out with guys. *cries* I'm so SAAAADDDDD...;_; I hate moping about like this. I hate wondering if I'll EVER find someone, and the fact that maybe that I'm just not attractive PERIOD. I don't think very highly of myself, but I don't think I'm ugly as hell...but *shrug* I dunno. I'm not told these things. ^^;; Lately, I've felt like a total skank, but that's probably because I'm a fucking lunch lady again. I wear a damn hair net, God's sake. I dunno what's my deal...I just want my warm fuzzy feelings to come back like they normally do. I'm not usually such a depressed person but sometimes I get those moments where I feel I'm not getting anywhere in life.
*sigh* These feelings shall pass, I hope. I had more to say but I really don't care to read this over again when I'm not feeling so bleh...
Hope to post sooner and a little happier.
Heather
PS I may be changing my LJ name soon but I'll make an update about that if I do.
Every time I try to make plans, they have fallen through somehow, mainly due to work. I'm starting to regret taking on a second job. *sigh* But, alas, I need the money. Social life for me is put on hold. *cries* I think I'm just so frustrated is because I'm back to my same old thing. I go to work, come home, eat and sleep. THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO IT. Sure, I have friends come over and all that jazz. But I need to get out of Searcy. O_O; Watching movies & internet is not cutting it.
I think I'm so agitated is that fact that it's spring and I'm working ALLTHETIME, and/or it's been exactly three years since I've dated. I swear my family thinks I'm a lesbian due to the fact that I rarely ever hang out with guys. *cries* I'm so SAAAADDDDD...;_; I hate moping about like this. I hate wondering if I'll EVER find someone, and the fact that maybe that I'm just not attractive PERIOD. I don't think very highly of myself, but I don't think I'm ugly as hell...but *shrug* I dunno. I'm not told these things. ^^;; Lately, I've felt like a total skank, but that's probably because I'm a fucking lunch lady again. I wear a damn hair net, God's sake. I dunno what's my deal...I just want my warm fuzzy feelings to come back like they normally do. I'm not usually such a depressed person but sometimes I get those moments where I feel I'm not getting anywhere in life.
*sigh* These feelings shall pass, I hope. I had more to say but I really don't care to read this over again when I'm not feeling so bleh...
Hope to post sooner and a little happier.
Heather
PS I may be changing my LJ name soon but I'll make an update about that if I do.