(no subject)
The date has been set. Bryan and I are moving back to Albuquerque on March 31. We're going to *hopefully* move in with my dad for a brief period of time and then get separate places. We shall see where everything goes.
I'm on a bit of a "fix self" rampage. I know that I cannot make it six weeks being as miserable as I've been in the recent past. I talked to Bryan about it finally and that was really good. I know that what we're doing is the best thing for both of us, but of course it's still sad to think that we moved out here and I'm not going home with hundreds of wonderful stories of living in the big city. There were good times, of course, but it seemed sometimes that the bad times were outnumbering them 2 to 1.
I've put on a few pounds and am making it my goal to lose them before getting home. I figure I should return in at least the same shape I left in, right? I'm also reenrolling in UNM. While I'm not thrilled to jump in school on all levels, I'm learning more and more that the statement "It's better not to go right after high school," seems to be said by only people who have not yet gotten to go. I am realizing that while it's hard, getting your undergrad does not mean signing up for your entire life...getting a degree is important, but not the end of the line. You can still do other things in grad school and life, for that matter. Waiting and not going immediately just makes it so it's harder, less affordable, and more uncomfortable to start school again. Being around my peers who are graduating while I'm barely starting is going to be hard, but I'll just keep my head up.
I wasn't very happy in Albuquerque. I'm going to try and be optomistic while I'm there, however. I know now that I need to start taking care of myself. I've always had low self confidance and deflected that into taking care of friends and family before myself, which has started to ware on me. When I get home, I know that I will be okay and be able to start taking care of myself better. I've been in the real world long enough now that I'm ready to actually make it a good place for myself instead of just being upset about it all the time.
I'm still rather depressed out there, but I'm going to move and see where that leaves me. I'm ready to deal with what I have to, but that will be better done around family and friends. If I'm still in this rut when I get home, I know that I'm ready to seek the help I may need. Life is too short to be upset all the time. I know that I'm a good person with a lot of potential, and I think I'll live up to it...it's just been a bad patch, so to speak.
I'm on a bit of a "fix self" rampage. I know that I cannot make it six weeks being as miserable as I've been in the recent past. I talked to Bryan about it finally and that was really good. I know that what we're doing is the best thing for both of us, but of course it's still sad to think that we moved out here and I'm not going home with hundreds of wonderful stories of living in the big city. There were good times, of course, but it seemed sometimes that the bad times were outnumbering them 2 to 1.
I've put on a few pounds and am making it my goal to lose them before getting home. I figure I should return in at least the same shape I left in, right? I'm also reenrolling in UNM. While I'm not thrilled to jump in school on all levels, I'm learning more and more that the statement "It's better not to go right after high school," seems to be said by only people who have not yet gotten to go. I am realizing that while it's hard, getting your undergrad does not mean signing up for your entire life...getting a degree is important, but not the end of the line. You can still do other things in grad school and life, for that matter. Waiting and not going immediately just makes it so it's harder, less affordable, and more uncomfortable to start school again. Being around my peers who are graduating while I'm barely starting is going to be hard, but I'll just keep my head up.
I wasn't very happy in Albuquerque. I'm going to try and be optomistic while I'm there, however. I know now that I need to start taking care of myself. I've always had low self confidance and deflected that into taking care of friends and family before myself, which has started to ware on me. When I get home, I know that I will be okay and be able to start taking care of myself better. I've been in the real world long enough now that I'm ready to actually make it a good place for myself instead of just being upset about it all the time.
I'm still rather depressed out there, but I'm going to move and see where that leaves me. I'm ready to deal with what I have to, but that will be better done around family and friends. If I'm still in this rut when I get home, I know that I'm ready to seek the help I may need. Life is too short to be upset all the time. I know that I'm a good person with a lot of potential, and I think I'll live up to it...it's just been a bad patch, so to speak.