#18
Illuminate
WC: 528
Notes: I barfed this out in ten minutes or so, inspired by a tumblr post. I haven't actually written anything in months, so I'm hoping this is the kick-start of some new writing. I haven't edited it. I haven't looked at it. It's more of a stream of consciousness than anything, but I think it's what I need to get over this block. I might edit and repost in the future.
...
He meets Ryeowook at a party, hosted by some mutual friend. They go on several dates, out to the movies, or dinner, or shopping, but Ryeowook never seems to want to spend time in either of their apartments. When he asked to see Ryeowook’s place, the smaller man shuffled his feet awkwardly, smile fighting to stay in place, and claimed his place was too small, and a mess, and had nothing to do.
A few weeks later, he invites Ryeowook over for movie night on the sofa, and maybe even a little cuddling. Ryeowook’s smile doesn’t even put up a struggle to keep its place. Still, Jongwoon picks him up at the designated time and parks in his usual spot in front of his building. He takes Ryeowook by the hand and leads him to the elevator.
All the while, his brain is spinning the fantasies he’d been dreaming for weeks now; Ryeowook would move in on a Sunday, all his belongings tucked into neat little boxes, their clothes mixed together in the closet and dresser drawers, toothbrushes leaning on one another in the cup in the bathroom, quiet breakfasts and lunches together on the new dishes Ryeowook would bring from his place, nights curled together on the sofa or in bed, lips meeting in a space all their own, a life together, happy and safe. He’s so caught up in his dreams he doesn’t feel the cold sweat gathering on Ryeowook’s palm when the elevator shudders to a stop on Jongwoon’s floor.
Ryeowook is quiet when they enter the apartment. He stands stiffly in the middle of the room, hands clasped in front of him. Jongwoon asks what’s bothering him, and Ryeowook suggests seeing a movie in the theater instead. Jongwoon shakes his head and complains about the crowds. He wants a nice, quiet evening. He grabs Ryeowook by the wrist, this time noticing the slight shake of his hands with a raised eyebrow, and tugs him into the kitchen. Jongwoon microwaves popcorn and fishes around for cold drinks in his refrigerator, talking up the advantages of movie night at home, hoping to coax Ryeowook into relaxing, although he can’t for the life of him discern what has him so jumpy. He hands him the bowl of popcorn and reaches up to ruffle his hair, when suddenly he has a face-full of popcorn as Ryeowook flinches away from him, arms springing up to cover his face.
Jongwoon watches, dumbfounded, as Ryeowook slowly sinks to the floor, crouches down amongst the spill of popcorn, and begins to sob. He kneels down, too, and puts a hand on Ryeowook’s back. He asks him what’s wrong, pulls him close to his chest, feels the tears beginning to pool up in his own eyes. They spill over when Ryeowook shakily tells a tale of a childhood of terror and past relationships full of raised hands and raised welts. Ryeowook begs for forgiveness, trembling hands reaching out to scoop up the mess he’d made of the popcorn, but Jongwoon takes his hands firmly between his own and presses his lips to the knuckles and promises Ryeowook a future to erase his past.