[YamaChii] Underneath that gloomy sky, the two of us learned how to smile
Underneath that gloomy sky, the two of us learned how to smile
©ainomesseji
Pairing: Harada Nobuo x Irihara Hayato (YamaChii) Genre: Slice of Life, Drama, Romance
Summary: Losing a loved one has never been that easy, both Irihara Hayato and Harada Nobuo understand that. However despite all that, the loss, the depression and the pain of moving on, life must still continue on and be lived fully. Because, life doesn’t end to those who are left behind by their loved ones; it still continues on.
Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the plotline. The characters are taken from their respective dramas, whilst, Yamada Ryosuke and Chinen Yuri are owned by their own self-or each other, just kidding. xD
…
Once, after a loss of a dear friend, one special person entered my life and made a large impact on my insights and beliefs. As young and as little as he is, he, of all the people that touched my life dearly (after that great loss of a great friend). He is the first one, who deeply secured something in me. He reassured something in my heart, and made everything peacefully reside, like a silent healing, as I etch into my heart every word that left his lips.
Irihara Hayato, the 19 years old Law student, who made me understand, and who taught me for the first time that... underneath this gloomy and unfair sky, I can still live a moment to appreciate life and simply just smile.
“You lost someone dear to you too, haven’t you?”
His words were calm and knowing when he asked me that the first time we met, and I couldn’t help but feel anger build up in my chest, especially when I heard him say that. I don’t know why though. I just felt as though, as he says those words, I am being stripped. I feel so naked. It’s like he knows everything about me and stripping me to all my naked glory. And knowing that, it scared me, because how can a mere stranger pin me to all my nakedness like it was nothing but a casual thing-a part of the everyday that we live in. Yet, even if these were my thoughts, I still couldn’t help myself. So, from my gaze up above the deep, saturated, blue sky; I turned my gaze away and looked at the person who ruined my solace-my peace of mind and solemnity.
And God, I never expected something so magnanimously enigmatic in my life. I never thought that the carrier of such words, filled with life’s wonder, is a mere child-a teenager at that. I wanted to laugh. However, when I was about to speak out and retort to him words like, how can a child, such as he, say something so vulgarly as if he knows how it feels to lose a dear someone. He suddenly just smiled at me-the same smile that he gave me, when I finally was at my brink and was already on the edge of giving it all up.
“…I lost someone too, you know…” He offered a small smile, before he pointed at the deep blue sky, “…So, you don’t have to look at me like that. I’ve felt that same pain before, and never will I ever forget how hurt I was when I lost someone special in my life as well. But regardless…” He hummed as he stared at me with those understanding eyes, before he walked up to me and offered me a handkerchief neatly ironed and folded. “My older brother, he is with your departed person now as well.” He grinned, and frowned a bit when I am not doing anything to take the handkerchief he is offering. “Take it.” He offered again, and that gesture. It just made me give in as I took hold of his handkerchief in my trembling hands. “Thank you, I guess…” I whispered and that made him grin like the child that he really is.
“I’m glad,” He mused before he looked up again into the deep, blue sky, which made me look as well. “You know, they’re together now.” He whispered softly into the wind, which made me look at him again far more curious than what I expect myself to be. “How can you say so?” I asked, and he, yet again, just smiled at me and let those wisdom-filled words leave his mouth.
“I just know. But you shouldn’t be worried about that, because wherever they are now… your friend and my brother, I mean. Just be happy for them. Because finally, the two of them are safe and sound into a place where there’s nothing that can hurt them. Unlike when they are here with us… right?”
And hearing those words, something clicked inside my heart and I couldn’t help but agree and smile back. “Yeah…” I grinned, which made him grin back as well. And I never knew someone as rebellious looking as this kid-this teenager, who looks like a gloomy person could smile beautifully like that. That’s life wonder, I guess. I chuckled and that made him look at me with innocent eyes. “You know, you look far more beautiful when you smile like that.” He commented, before he walked closer towards me and palmed my cheeks that I didn’t notice were filled with tears.
“…Please let go now, Nobuo-kun.” He whispered as he wiped my tears away. “Kouta-san wouldn’t like it if you cry and grieve for him like that.” He gave me a small smile once again, before he leaned in forward and wrapped his small arms around me as he soothed me; asking me to please, let it all out. And, I didn’t know what magic he has, but when I felt his small body against me, trying very hard to encapsulate me and warm me up with understanding. I couldn’t help but just let it all out on him-cry my woes and morose feelings on him. Because for me, this stranger… he feels so right. He feels so perfect in my life, like a missing puzzle to my jigsaw-filled heart.
“Just cry…” he hummed as he patted my back, “…soon enough, everything will be alright. Because…” He kissed my forehead and just held me close as I continued on to cry into his small arms.
“…the best way to end one’s life is… to learn to accept and to live the remaining days of your life knowing that everyday ends with a goodbye. So, face it all by living the everyday of your life to the fullest. So that if tomorrow might not come by again, you’ll still feel that you have lost nothing; but just felt more alive.”
And the moment he said those words, finally… I had the courage to let go of a dear friend’s departure. I finally learned to let go. “…kyou no hi wa sayonara, Kouta-san… thank you for everything. So, Itterashai…”
“Itterashai…” He said as well and that made me look at him straight in the eyes, “…to you too, thank you.” I smiled at him, as I left his embrace and was about to return his neatly folded handkerchief, that’s been crumpled in my tight grip.
“Keep it.”
It was a straightforward answer that made no space for me to retaliate back. But, I couldn’t help but wonder, why… “It’s something to keep that heart from crying. It’s something to soothe away that weeping, yet slowly healing heart.” He beamed, before he left a kiss on my forehead and that made me look at him again, questions more of his enigmatic actions than anything else. “…don’t worry, Nobuo-kun… I’m a friend.” He said those words to me, before he turned around, waved, and walked towards the funeral home, where Kouta-san is sleeping.
…
“Ah, thank you so much for the simple yet so very warm accommodation to our dear Kouta’s departure.” Kouta-kun’s family bowed as I watch them thank the funeral home owner who accommodated the reception and the prayer for our dear Kouta-san’s farewell. And as I look at their interaction, I couldn’t help but look at the bowing younger brother of the funeral home’s owner.
Irihara Hayato-kun…
That’s why he’s so wise about these stuffs. Both losing and seeing everyday, people who cry and grieve for their lost loved one; that must be hard to intake and live every day. I now understand why he is so kind to me that day. He knows so much. Yet still, I still don’t know how he knew my name, and how he knew that Kouta-san was close to me. It’s still an aching mystery.
“…the day I saw you by the hill, it was the day that they were reading the letter that Kouta-kun has left behind…” he suddenly spoke and that made me startled. Why is he always doing that? I wanted to badly ask, but… hearing him speak, seems more edible to me than asking him stupid and silly questions. But aside from that… I am quite fond of his melancholic voice. It’s very soothing and healing. “Hmm…” I responded and that made him chuckle in return. “You should speak your mind more, Nobuo-kun.” He joked as he took hold of my hand and led me outside of the funeral home.
“Ahh~ there, much better…” He grinned as he looked up at the surrounding and giddily jumped like a child when he saw two vacant swings across from us. “Let’s go there.” He pressed as he yet again took hold of my hand and led me there. And, the way his small hand fit into my slightly bigger ones. It felt perfect and just right. I don’t know why, though… But I’ll let it pass. He’s far more important now than the oddity of my feelings.
“…is it okay for you to sit down? Won’t your… you know… leg hurt?” His words were laced with concern and-thump dump; it made my heart skip a thousand of times. “…h-how?” I looked at him bewildered. However he ignored my question and just looked at me with those beautiful midnight-colored eyes.
“…Kouta-san said so, how Nobuo-kun was one of a kind. And, I think so too as well… that Nobuo-kun is special, just like how Kouta-san has deemed you to be special.”
And I couldn’t have enough of his voice, as he said that. He is touching me far more than anyone had ever done, even Kouta-san. “-I...” But no words came after that, I just stared at him and smiled. And I guess, Irihara, Hayato-kun, is a given gift for me by God and Kouta-san. I guess, the just want me to continue on to be happy. That’s why they introduced me to this special and kind person named Irihara, Hayato. Maa, nee…
The wonders of Kouta-san, even after death… he still knows how to immensely touch my life. Thank you so much, Kouta-san… this is too much, but still… Thank you so much.
…
And after a year of Kouta-san’s departure, my life has never been better and perfect. I’ve never felt this content-just now.
“Kyou no hi wa sayonara…”
He says to me, and for the first time in my life I didn’t feel so helpless… so hopeless hearing those words-not anymore. Maybe, because I know that even if tomorrow might not come to me. I still can say that I’ve finally lived my life fully, accepted myself regardless of all the insecurities, because deep down I know that this sweet little angel, who entered my life like a typhoon, weaved a promise into my heart that everyday ends with a fare-thee-well, see you soon-sometimes, never. But even if that’s the case, he says. At least, I’ve shared memories, made new ones and even learned new things and loved more deeply than yesterday. So ending it all, it’s not a bad thing. It’s more like a gift, because at least it made you more human and more you, regardless of anything else.
“…Yeah, kyou no hi wa sayonara, Hayato-kun. Let’s meet tomorrow again, if it will ever come like promised.” I smiled as I held his small hands and brought it up into my lips. “I love you, Hayato-kun. Take care, alright? See you tomorrow…” I smiled at him and that made him smile back, as he leaned forward and left a peck on my lips. “Of course-always, Nobuo-kun… we’ll always meet until tomorrow never comes for the both of us.” He looked at me straight in the eyes, as he gave me the same smile he gave me the first time we met. And, right now, this moment in time. I never felt more in love and thankful for being born as Nobuo Harada and meeting these two special people in my life.
“I love you, Nobuo-kun.” He whispered as he lingered his sweet, pink lips an inch away from mine. “I love you too, so very, very much…” I whispered against our centimeters apart lips, before I sealed a promise into our kiss.
A promise that, even if tomorrow will never come, we’ll still love and cherish each other until the end of time, just like how we cherish and love our departed friends and family even if they are long gone.
…
Fin
Author’s Note: So, how was it? Is it any good? This just struck by the end of the SP. I don’t know really, but it’s up for everyone to judge. And, why is Ai-chan posting a random fic when there is still no actual closure to Polaroid-Effect? I’m sorry about that. My flash drive where Polaroid is stored hasn’t come back to me yet. But as soon as I get my flash drive back, I’ll post it, okay? But still, I hope you guys will enjoy this. Thank you so much for reading. By the way, thanks to thellie and audcline for pushing me to make this story happen. Thank you guys. :3