brainwaves, not expressed well.

[ahoaxtolivefor5]

I've had a lot running through my brain for months.
Like where to start, is it the right beginning, and where will it take me?
The fact that I can't seem to ever make enough money doesn't help either.
It just slows me down.
It's not even that, it's my stupid spending habits.
And the lack of hours.
I worry he'll leave if I don't get a move on.
I worry he will find someone better.
I worry I'm not enough.
Not enough fun, not enough strength, not enough beauty.
I know I'm being silly too.
HE ISN'T TYLER, ASHLEY.
He isn't some stupid boy who needs to make you feel worthless to make himself feel better.
I just love him too much to lose him.

It doesn't matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get out of this job either.
Is this place really where I'm supposed to be?
Really?
I really think I just need to move my focus to something else.
But school can't come fast enough.
I'm so ready for this.
I'm so ready to move forward in another aspect of my life.
I need to find my spot.

I can do this. I just need to stop thinking so much.