(no subject)
I hated my monologue today. So dissapointed in myself.
I feel like I shot myself in the foot. I totally shyed (shied...?) away from the anger in my character after Stabler's "Anger is the easiest acting choice" bit yesterday. And today Mr. Fuller said that he wished that those people who had angry monologues had actually went there and committed to the anger. I felt like he was talking directly to me. I didn't mean to, but I feel like it subconciously worked it's way into my head.
I swear to God, to me, there's nothing worse than my feeling like I did a bad job in a show or on a monologue. I'd tears me apart. I realize I need to get over this but I get so worried that I'm actually a terrible actress and that the only compliments I've gotten have been because I'm easy to work with rather than that I'm talented.
I feel terrible. And it's not like I did so bad that I can just bitch to anyone about it, I did fine. But fine's not gonna cut it.
I'm also so pissed at Mr. Hartung for telling us that we didn't have to turn in our process work. I'm all for process work, obviously. It's essential. But the process work I do for myself, and the process work I do for my teachers are two different things. What I usually like to do is get a good copy of the script and writes notes and comments all over it (you should see my script after I finish a show, it's ridiculous) I even have keys that only I understand. It's work that I do for me and it's work that I only I can can comprehend. I'm fine with doing extra work for teachers so that they can ensure that I did some sort of process, but I'd like to know more than a day in advance, please. I had a virtual mental break-down last night trying to get ready for this and getting all of the work done.
On a happier note, I couldn't be more excited for Gypsy. And it seems more and more likely that I'll definitely get the chance to see it. *dances*
I feel like I shot myself in the foot. I totally shyed (shied...?) away from the anger in my character after Stabler's "Anger is the easiest acting choice" bit yesterday. And today Mr. Fuller said that he wished that those people who had angry monologues had actually went there and committed to the anger. I felt like he was talking directly to me. I didn't mean to, but I feel like it subconciously worked it's way into my head.
I swear to God, to me, there's nothing worse than my feeling like I did a bad job in a show or on a monologue. I'd tears me apart. I realize I need to get over this but I get so worried that I'm actually a terrible actress and that the only compliments I've gotten have been because I'm easy to work with rather than that I'm talented.
I feel terrible. And it's not like I did so bad that I can just bitch to anyone about it, I did fine. But fine's not gonna cut it.
I'm also so pissed at Mr. Hartung for telling us that we didn't have to turn in our process work. I'm all for process work, obviously. It's essential. But the process work I do for myself, and the process work I do for my teachers are two different things. What I usually like to do is get a good copy of the script and writes notes and comments all over it (you should see my script after I finish a show, it's ridiculous) I even have keys that only I understand. It's work that I do for me and it's work that I only I can can comprehend. I'm fine with doing extra work for teachers so that they can ensure that I did some sort of process, but I'd like to know more than a day in advance, please. I had a virtual mental break-down last night trying to get ready for this and getting all of the work done.
On a happier note, I couldn't be more excited for Gypsy. And it seems more and more likely that I'll definitely get the chance to see it. *dances*