Tweepright Fanfic part 2
Edward sat at home scratching his immaculate balls thinking about the new brain-waveless piece of meat he encountered earlier in the day. He was sitting on his day bed because vampires don’t sleep. The foggy evening turned into foggy night.
“What am I going to do now?” he thought. Then a fucking RAD IDEA penetrated his glistening brain. He would spy on this chick-ah-let.
Edward jumped into his car and started it by sticking his finger in the key slot and generating pure electricity. He drove the 3 blocks + 2 forests to her humble little crapin (crap+cabin). “oo hoo hoo” he thought to himself. He’d think that one to Carlisle when he got a better signal. Carlisle appreciated and rewarded clever wordplay.
Edward slipped through the car window like a snake and jumped onto her roof, which was not difficult at all. Not because he was a fucking vampire and had fucking super strength. No. She just had a really low roof, considering there was a 2nd floor. Ed climbed down into her window with the stealth of a ninja and the moral blindness of a small town pedophile.
Here room was as spare and clean as Paris Hilton’s poop chute. The sticky smell complemented the set up. He spotted her stick figure underneath the covers.
“GOD YOU PIECE OF SHIT” he hollered at her with his THOUGHTS. She only stirred, mumbling something about disrespecting the people who care about her.
He then stood completely still. He looked at her face more intently and felt something stir inside his gilded chest. Blood clot?.....Love?
“What am I going to do now?” he thought. Then a fucking RAD IDEA penetrated his glistening brain. He would spy on this chick-ah-let.
Edward jumped into his car and started it by sticking his finger in the key slot and generating pure electricity. He drove the 3 blocks + 2 forests to her humble little crapin (crap+cabin). “oo hoo hoo” he thought to himself. He’d think that one to Carlisle when he got a better signal. Carlisle appreciated and rewarded clever wordplay.
Edward slipped through the car window like a snake and jumped onto her roof, which was not difficult at all. Not because he was a fucking vampire and had fucking super strength. No. She just had a really low roof, considering there was a 2nd floor. Ed climbed down into her window with the stealth of a ninja and the moral blindness of a small town pedophile.
Here room was as spare and clean as Paris Hilton’s poop chute. The sticky smell complemented the set up. He spotted her stick figure underneath the covers.
“GOD YOU PIECE OF SHIT” he hollered at her with his THOUGHTS. She only stirred, mumbling something about disrespecting the people who care about her.
He then stood completely still. He looked at her face more intently and felt something stir inside his gilded chest. Blood clot?.....Love?