(no subject)
i am grumpy. i was just a jerk to my friend on the phone. ive been cleaning for a few hours, and everything is still piled up so high. i have a new job, that i love. i need a shower. i am ocd.
i am unreasonable. i am so happy being single- i thought i was. and now those feelings and thoughts are coming back, the desire to meet people, to discover someone new. i want to move to nashville, and not even for good reasons really. a lot of my reasons for wanting to teach english as a second language are selfish and fearful. sometimes what i feel like i SHOULD do is be a photographer with missionaries.
then i have all these fears, feeling like im really not actually good at photography, mostly worrying about my own comfort, material possessions, and the approval of others. . .
so then i think this up: i can teach ESL and have health insurance and pay for my own things, and save money, and see the world and be really cool in everyone elses eyes.
who knows, i may really teach ESL one day, but right now i see my intentions arent pure.
Father purify my heart. its You i want above all else.
i am unreasonable. i am so happy being single- i thought i was. and now those feelings and thoughts are coming back, the desire to meet people, to discover someone new. i want to move to nashville, and not even for good reasons really. a lot of my reasons for wanting to teach english as a second language are selfish and fearful. sometimes what i feel like i SHOULD do is be a photographer with missionaries.
then i have all these fears, feeling like im really not actually good at photography, mostly worrying about my own comfort, material possessions, and the approval of others. . .
so then i think this up: i can teach ESL and have health insurance and pay for my own things, and save money, and see the world and be really cool in everyone elses eyes.
who knows, i may really teach ESL one day, but right now i see my intentions arent pure.
Father purify my heart. its You i want above all else.