Question #3: Why Am I a Doula?

[ahavah]

I love this question!

In this post, I touched a little on some of the crises that happened around the time I learned I was pregnant. I followed my intuition to the Unity Center, where I really reconnected with Spirit and found a spiritual family

Comments

[om_mani_padme_]

What an awesome entry.

At present, my biological clock is going NUTS. Everything inside of me screams out for babies.

Interestingly enough, I may never actually give birth. I'm getting married this June, and we have both agreed to adopt... you know how you said you felt you were always meant to be a doula? I have always felt I was meant to adopt.

It's wild, how you can get that pull... how you can KNOW.

And I'm still learning how to take care of myself... I came from a bad birth, an unprepared mother who resented me for a long time. I've had lots of crazy bad childhood experiences.

But I feel that makes me even more worthy of the role of mother... because I made the commitment to myself a long time ago never to hurt anyone else the way I was hurt. That is my triumph over those who hurt me.

And I have worked, and I have learned, and I realize that I am so ready to give the unconditional love... and I know Dom will be an excellent father, he works with kids all the time as a psych major on the career path of helping children with psychological and behavioral difficulties. As a team, we will totally rock.

I know this...

But we are not financially prepared. We have graduating to do, degrees to obtain, financial stability to achieve. Heck, we're barely adults ourselves. I guess I have to do a little living for myself before I am ready to give so much to someone else. It's hard, the waiting... but it's for the best.

I don't know why I got into that... I just want to say that I totally respect and honor what you do... even though I may never give birth myself, I value the work you do and think there are too few people in the world with your compassion and your vision.

Thanks for writing this.

~Christy

[ahavah]

Oh, thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. You sound like you will be a great mama!

I didn't actually know I always wanted to be a doula. A mother, yes. I suppose once I heard of doulas, I knew I wanted to be a part of that. There is nothing more fantastic than being invited into someone's birth experience.

I think my mother's birth stories effected me as well. I know for sure that's why I had the birth *I* wanted. She was the first to share 'war stories'. That shouldn't be what birth's about. I heard her say, "We had no choice then." How can a woman not have choices? It's not right.

I can honestly say that I didn't feel ready to become a mother when I did. We do not have the financial stability, and I was younger than I meant to be. But all things happen for a reason, and my life has only changed for the better since we had our family. But I still can't wait until I get to choose and plan for my next one! LOL I also have always felt that I need to adopt, but I need to be in a much better place before I can do that. I feel like I'm meant to be a surrogate mother, too, but I'm still talking the Beloved into that one.