On Goodbyes

[ahavah]

I said in my intro that I would try not to be bleak, so when I saw our first topic for therealljidol was Saying Goodbye, I tried to just make it not about mom. Lord knows I've had many goodbyes in my life, and a great many of those recently. Somehow, it always comes back to this. In The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion calls it 'the vortex'. I can't even

Comments

[dodging_fate]

I really relate to the "I'm not ready to be the Mom yet" and the thoughts that your kids got Grandma and there will be resentment on some level for that. Laurel's the only one of my kids who really got to know my grandparents and when my grandmother died it was the end of an era

[ahavah]

Thank you! I'm so glad your mom was okay. How long did she have to stay in the hospital?

I'm glad you think I write well, too. I've been kind of struggling with it lately.

I do realize we're still connected now. There were many months when I felt her absence quite clearly, but I do feel her back. I actually tuned in with her and asked for her help writing this. I felt a bit guilty. It's a pretty private thing, you know? But I felt a very distinct hug and it all felt and flowed all right, so that kind of answer is just as clear. :)

[dodging_fate]

My mom ended up getting out of it with only soft tissue damage and stiches. We were so much in the hands of God for that

[ahavah]

That must have been so scary! It's definitely a good thing your daughter wasn't in the car. It sounds bad enough for the adults to handle. It's a shame your dad lost the ability to work, though. But so lucky your mom's all right! Head trauma is bad news. :(

Thank you again for your kindness. *hugs*

[dodging_fate]

*lurve*