(no subject)
[note: entry made while under the influence, aka- drunk]
Okay so I know that I am not in the greatest state of mind at the moment. And frankly I am surprised at how well I am typing. (if you look back you will see a few drunk entries that weren't as successfully written)why am I drunk right now... because gosh dern i deserve it. I've got 2 jobs now and I've worked hard all week and have been exhausted. I deserve to relax and loosen up for a bit.
So what will I do with this state of mind? *he types with his eyes closed swaying side to side to nora jones soothing tones.*(kudos to my muscle memory knowing where all the keys are.)Well being that a lot of my cares are somewhere else I will take advantage of this open state of mind to voice some of my aggravation.
So... to quote Peter Griffin,"You know what really grinds my gears"...
So I had plans to enter the seminary yada yada.(if you keep up with my blog or know me then you are aware) So yeah for reasons I wish not to disclose(private information) the seminary basically told me "not this year but we'd like to see you next year". This highly unexpected no answer set into motion a series of events that made 2008 super crappy for me. (I'll be glad to see it gone Jan 1) the fact that these events were set into motion by their decision I have built up quite a resentment for the Church and those in it.(not all but some in particular I will be speaking about)
What really grinds my gears is having to put on face of "maturity" and "cool-collectedness" when certain people come to me with,"oh are you in the seminary, I heard you were going to be a priest" or something to the effect. Why the face? Because just because I am an aggravated with the Church(and by proxy the founder) doesn't give me right to desecrate someone else's faith. i won't voice my disdain to those within the Church because they deserve to be happy.
Unlike some I did my best to keep my application to the seminary quiet to avoid being labeled. despite my efforts to deal with the whole process privately the prayer chain/gossip pool got the information out. They pass along information under the guise of "pray for so-in-so because he's going to be a priest." ... no pressure right? The result has been people i don't know coming to me about the above mentioned questions about my priestly vocation. *takes a drink and continues swaying to Nora* It's seriously annoying. YOU DON'T KNOW ME, don't come to me like you are entitled to information as private as ones own potential vocation.
As of currently I am working to survive and get myself into a better financial situation. Long-term I suppose I still have goals of a priestly vocation(for lack of any other prevailing calls), but I seriously don't want to be bothered with questions about it because I am tired of responding to something that at this point seems so far off in the distance and possibly unachievable that it's not productive to think about.
So yeah, stop pretending you know me and my relationship with the Lord. The Lord and I have some things to work through, and as much as you may think you are helping you are not. You're just annoying the crap out of me.
NOTE: This may not be a popular post but it's honest and it will stand. I may regret it tomorrow but maybe... just maybe it will reduce the number of people trying to pressure me into becoming a leader in their religious views. If I do or if I don't is between me and the Lord. Your hopes, wishes, or opinions have no bearing on MY vocation, so shhh already.
*Goes back to his cigar and drink*
Okay so I know that I am not in the greatest state of mind at the moment. And frankly I am surprised at how well I am typing. (if you look back you will see a few drunk entries that weren't as successfully written)why am I drunk right now... because gosh dern i deserve it. I've got 2 jobs now and I've worked hard all week and have been exhausted. I deserve to relax and loosen up for a bit.
So what will I do with this state of mind? *he types with his eyes closed swaying side to side to nora jones soothing tones.*(kudos to my muscle memory knowing where all the keys are.)Well being that a lot of my cares are somewhere else I will take advantage of this open state of mind to voice some of my aggravation.
So... to quote Peter Griffin,"You know what really grinds my gears"...
So I had plans to enter the seminary yada yada.(if you keep up with my blog or know me then you are aware) So yeah for reasons I wish not to disclose(private information) the seminary basically told me "not this year but we'd like to see you next year". This highly unexpected no answer set into motion a series of events that made 2008 super crappy for me. (I'll be glad to see it gone Jan 1) the fact that these events were set into motion by their decision I have built up quite a resentment for the Church and those in it.(not all but some in particular I will be speaking about)
What really grinds my gears is having to put on face of "maturity" and "cool-collectedness" when certain people come to me with,"oh are you in the seminary, I heard you were going to be a priest" or something to the effect. Why the face? Because just because I am an aggravated with the Church(and by proxy the founder) doesn't give me right to desecrate someone else's faith. i won't voice my disdain to those within the Church because they deserve to be happy.
Unlike some I did my best to keep my application to the seminary quiet to avoid being labeled. despite my efforts to deal with the whole process privately the prayer chain/gossip pool got the information out. They pass along information under the guise of "pray for so-in-so because he's going to be a priest." ... no pressure right? The result has been people i don't know coming to me about the above mentioned questions about my priestly vocation. *takes a drink and continues swaying to Nora* It's seriously annoying. YOU DON'T KNOW ME, don't come to me like you are entitled to information as private as ones own potential vocation.
As of currently I am working to survive and get myself into a better financial situation. Long-term I suppose I still have goals of a priestly vocation(for lack of any other prevailing calls), but I seriously don't want to be bothered with questions about it because I am tired of responding to something that at this point seems so far off in the distance and possibly unachievable that it's not productive to think about.
So yeah, stop pretending you know me and my relationship with the Lord. The Lord and I have some things to work through, and as much as you may think you are helping you are not. You're just annoying the crap out of me.
NOTE: This may not be a popular post but it's honest and it will stand. I may regret it tomorrow but maybe... just maybe it will reduce the number of people trying to pressure me into becoming a leader in their religious views. If I do or if I don't is between me and the Lord. Your hopes, wishes, or opinions have no bearing on MY vocation, so shhh already.
*Goes back to his cigar and drink*