its a fuckin dead end!
y isnt anything i do enough? its like ppl keep askin more of me then i can give. i have nothing left. im stuck and im lost i dont know where to go next or what to do to make things right again. and when i talk to people about it and its like im just talkin for the hell of it cause they dont hear a word they just keep believin what they already and dont take anything i say to heart. im an honest person and ill tell u what is in my heart. it feels like shit when people just dont seem to care i have so much love for so many people! especially alison which is the one person in my life im scared to lose the most. . (i think i could have her and only her as a friend for the rest of my life and ill b happy) and i feel like its slowly happening and i feel like shane havin bad feelings towards me doesnt help. i want so much to make things right again and make all this hurt i have in me and the hurt i have put on other people go away. . . i would change everything ive done to hurt anyone that i care about in a heartbeat if i could. and i am truely sry if i have ever hurt u in any way! i am slowly reolizing that i an alone in this thing and i have to learn how to make it on my own (there is no one in this world u can trust more then urself)(u are ur one and only relyable source). and as for my guy situation. . . i pretty much give up. . i find these increadable guys that turn out to b the same ole same! its ok to be alone! and if and when i find a guy that is "boyfriend material" then ill take that chance but until then. . im ok bein just me!