Bunny: MyStar
Title:MyStar
Pairings:YooSu
Rating:Nc-17/Nc-15
Warnings:Death
Beta:ting5
Genre:AU!, romance
Summary:On the day Yoochun picked up Junsu he has become his star. What will happen to them when Junsu became everyone else's star.
| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆
Photogenic Love YunJae
Junsu remembered freedom only as a far away dream. Sometimes he was not alone but lately it seemed to be just the case. It made him jolt awake late at night feeling frustrated and frightened.
The road ahead of Junsu was long and seemingly endless. He had no idea of what destination his travel would take him to as he was on the move just to pass time. Back home Junsu was often mistreated and he felt unwanted. So one day it occurred to him that he should just leave the place and to start anew somewhere else, which was exactly what he was doing now with what little belongings he had.
His bag was almost empty now since he didn’t have that much money to prepare things for him to bring. He only has another change of clothes. He really didn’t have that much. Junsu kept walking under the sun till he felt like he was being cooked like a steak. The sunrays seemed to boil his skin and in the late afternoon Junsu thought he was starting to hallucinate when he saw an old rusty car headed his way.
*Honk* The car stopped and the window was scrolled down. Junsu felt the cold air within hit his face when he peered at the person inside. It was a man about thirty, unshaven and dressed in rags not so different from him.
“Do you want a lift somewhere?” It was a truly concerned voice and his eyes were friendly.
Junsu fell to his knees when he realized how close he was to have not met such a chance if he has not picked this road. The man helped Junsu into his car and fastened his seatbelt.
“Park Yoochun.” He reached out his hand and Junsu took it in a firm handshake, “Kim Junsu, thank you so much for helping me.”
Yoochun started the engine, “So where are you heading to?”
The question caught Junsu off guard. He had avoided thinking about that question himself since he really didn’t know where he could go. Japan was big but there was nowhere in this land that he could call home since there was no one waiting for him.
“Actually I haven’t decided yet.”
“Then do you mind hitting the road with me for a month? I have some business I needed to attend to.”
“Sure.” Junsu answered. Since he had no destination so why not just go with the flow? The man was nice and after spending fifteen minutes in this stranger’s car Junsu knew he could trust him. He felt that they somehow connected and were quite similar in some ways.
During the ride they talked about music, and only music. Junsu never met someone who shared the same fierce passion for music as himself. He found out that Yoochun composed in his free time and when the elder hummed one of the melodies he had created Junsu ended up gawking. The melody was none other than ‘It’s you’ which was sung by Super Junior, a Korean boy band. Junsu knew all their songs and dance moves where his member was Eunhyuk.
At the same time as Yoochun hummed Junsu started singing with his beautify husky voice. It took Yoochun by surprise that Junsu’s strained voice could managed such high notes and possessed such feeling. However when the question about family was brought up neither of them was very enthusiastic to share. So to avoid anymore uncomfortable and awkward situations none of them mentioned it again.
Junsu had no idea how much time had passed since he entered Yoochun’s car, or literally Yoochun’s life. Time passed by quickly when you were enjoying ~ which was true. He really enjoyed the time he spent with Yoochun inside this small cozy car. But it came to an end or he should say put on hold when they arrived at the orphanage.
Yoochun parked the car and headed towards the reception with Junsu. “I’ve booked a room under the name Micky.”
“Please wait a minute sir.”
Junsu’s mouth was gaping wide open as he stared at the place which was very magnificent and grand. He never saw anything like this except on TV and those seemed like out of this world so Junsu never thought he would have the chance to experience it himself.
“If you don’t close your mouth you’d soon be drooling on their red carpet.”
“Yoochun are you rich?” It was a straightforward question without any hidden motives.
“So what if I am? Are you going to run away then?”
It gave Junsu something to think about so he didn’t answer immediately. When the elevator stopped they stepped out and Yoochun gave Junsu a key to a separate suite on the other side of the hall. “You can live in that suite and I’ll be staying in another on this side.”
Junsu nodded and went to his room. If he was surprised before, his jaw would have fall to the floor at the sight in front of him now. The entire room was decorated in Victorian style, the furniture and also wall, which were all bright and colorful. Then he saw a large bed situated in the middle and without any hesitation he jumped on it. Snuggling on the sweet-smelling and comfortable bed, Junsu thought this was surely what heaven felt like. Never in his life had anyone treated Junsu with so much extravagance.
A knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts but Junsu didn’t go to open it opting instead to wait for that person to enter. Junsu didn’t recognize the person who entered and just kept on staring until the person broke down laughing. “It’s me Junsu, Yoochun.”
“Yoochun?” he asked in disbelief and even pinched Yoochun’s cheek to see if it was really him. The change was so drastic that Junsu couldn’t believe his eyes. The man in front of him was the most handsome and godlike that he has ever seen. He looked so divine and was oozing sexiness.
“You’re hot Yoochun.” When Junsu realized what had just came out of his mouth he blushed like mad and hid his head in the covers.
“Come on Junsu. You still haven’t changed.” Yoochun helped Junsu to pick out what to wear and his transformation from head to toe was no less than Yoochun’s. When Junsu stood in front of the mirror and stared at his own reflection he could not believe that this young beautiful man could be him. Unimaginable!
“Let’s head down. The party is about to start.”
***
Junsu sat on a table with a big plate in his hand. It was full with delicacies. He took a small bite and groaned wanting to ask Yoochun what it was made of. However the man was still busy shaking hands with a lot of boring old decayed people. His eyes followed Yoochun like a hawk. Some women walked up to Yoochun and in Junsu’s eyes started to flirt shamelessly with him. They were pathetically throwing themselves into Yoochun’s arms but the man politely declined them. But he saw Yoochun giving them a white card and he wanted to know what it was.
When Yoochun returned to his suite at midnight he found Junsu on his bed with a bunny in his arms. He slept so soundly that Yoochun couldn’t find it in his heart to wake the boy up. So Yoochun placed Junsu’s hand under the blanket and then taking a pillow for himself he headed to the couch. He didn’t want to sleep in the same bed as the boy just in case he…he couldn’t hold himself anymore and attacked the boy.
This was going all wrong and not according to his plans. No matter how much he tried to convince himself that this was just another business but something was holding him back from carrying out his true intentions. The morning sun kissed his face and he instantly opened his eyes only to see the boy backing away like a frightened deer looking guilty and lost.
“Do you like me?” Yoochun asked.
Why beat around the bush when Yoochun already knew the boy had some kind of feelings for him. He was not sure of his own emotions yet and he has not come to any understanding the significant of the boy’s appearance in his life. “I think I like you too so you can tell me.”
He sounded like a shrink and sensing from Junsu’s stance he can tell he was very uncomfortable. Avoiding looking Yoochun straight in the eye, Junsu managed to say without stuttering, “I noticed that some ladies were very attracted to you last night.” Junsu decided to say those words instead of saying yes.
So Junsu was jealous last night. Well, feeling possessive was only a start so Yoochun confirmed, ”So you are jealous?”
It caught Junsu off guard and Yoochun picked just that moment to pull Junsu onto his lap, hugging him tightly in case he wanted to escape. “Can you answer me?”
Junsu buried his face between Yoochun’s collarbone and with a husky voice answered, “Yes.”
“Then let us do something about it.” Yoochun carried Junsu to the bed and dropped him with a thud.
“It’s morning Yoochun. We just woke up.”
“Baby I’m a healthy man and extremely active in the morning.” He thrust their hips together allowing Junsu to feel his hardened jewel.
For Junsu it was almost suffocating to not let out his moans when Yoochun skillfully caressed his sensitive youthful skin that had never been fully exposed to anyone. Yoochun’s hot breath on his thighs felt like snake crawling under his skin leaving red marks along the way. It was Yoochun’s way to show who Junsu belonged to and he really wanted to mark Junsu as his.
The stroking hand on top of his pants startled Yoochun and seeing the shock on Yoochun’s face Junsu said, “I want to please you too.”
How adorable Junsu was to willingly touch Yoochun. The boy’s face was flushed red and he shyly averted his eyes from Yoochun’s. He was too embarrassed especially when Yoochun removed his pants to release his hardened jewel. Pleasure surged through his veins and his world exploded as he orgasm spilling his cum into Yoochun’s mouth. The man looked at Junsu with eyes like a predator, those sharp stealthy eyes drawing Junsu into a web of passion and frenzy with lust.
Junsu let the man spread his legs wide since he himself had lost the strength to move as the after bliss from his orgasm lingered leaving him in a daze. Yoochun chuckled at his surprised look when he inserted his fingers into Junsu’s entrance and started to scissor his soft yet tight walls. “So I guess this is your first time with a man?”
Junsu averted his gaze and looked at the sheets which suddenly became more fascinating. Yoochun laughed at his childish and innocent manner. “Then I shall be your first man.”
There was a goofy smile on Yoochun’s face and for those that knew of Yoochun’s personality and his job would have never expected to see that. All that Yoochun had in his mind now was to make Junsu moan his name and to beg him for more. No doubt that the boy may be too shy to beg but it was still a wishful thought.
***
Junsu and Yoochun spent about half a year happily in their own little world. Nothing bothered them until issues from reality began to crawl back into their lives. Yoochun started to get phone calls regarding his work that became more and more urgent. Junsu noticed the restlessness in Yoochun and his mood swings. He would get angry a lot even with small stuff that Junsu finally decided it was time for Yoochun to return to the city, to Tokyo.
One evening as Yoochun sat in front of his notebook emailing his company, Junsu who was reading a magazine started a conversation out of the blue, “Yoochun I want to start working.”
The man was so surprised that he didn’t know what to say. He closed his notebook and sat down beside Junsu. Yoochun was still very sensitive and gentle with him but Junsu noticed that he longed to return to the city and to contact his friends. It would be selfish of him to keep Yoochun all to himself.
“Baby aren’t you not happy here?” His wrinkled forehead and raised eyebrows told Junsu that Yoochun was worried about him, about his welfare and feelings.
“No Chunnie I just want to see the city. I’ve never been outside from the village where I lived and the only other place is this hotel that we’ve been staying for this past six months. I’m still young and I want to work to make a living instead of living off yours.”
“Su, I’m happy with you using my money. It’s why I earn them.” He caressed Junsu’s arm while looking at him with sorrowful eyes.
‘It’s only you Yoochun who doesn’t realize how much you want to go back. This place is not right for us anymore.’
“I want to work and see Tokyo, please Yoochun,” Junsu used his last hidden trick, his puppy eyes
“Junsu you know I can’t say no when you look at me like that.” Yoochun pouted knowing he had lost and clung onto Junsu. “You know baby, you are my life. Without you I would not be able to live.”
“Hush, I know, I know. Me too.”
***
Tokyo was indeed a big city. Junsu had no idea how people could walk around without getting lost as these streets was like a labyrinth. There were so many people and Junsu wondered if all of them worked and lived in Tokyo? Again Junsu felt like he had returned to being the little boy that had just came out from his village.
Yoochun took Junsu’s hand in his and they exited the airport. A black sedan was waiting for them and Yoochun opened the door for Junsu to slip in. Junsu rested his head on Yoochun’s lap since he didn’t sleep well on the plane. Yoochun’s lap was so soft and comfortable that he dozed off immediately but after only what felt like a second later someone shook him awake. Irritated Junsu wanted to scream at whomever that was. He knew he was acting like a girl who was pms:ing, which Yoochun found funny since he was a man.
“Do you want to sleep or eat first?” Yoochun asked gently.
He didn’t need to think twice as he pulled the hem of Yoochun’s shirt leading them to the bedroom. Their house this time was much more modern and had a lot of high technology stuff but Junsu was too tired to take any notice of his surroundings. He used Yoochun’s arm as a pillow and rested his head there. It may seemed unfair to Yoochun since his arm would become numb when he woke up but Yoochun would never pulled away so he can rest there and be able to sleep soundly.
Life in Tokyo was very different. For the first week Yoochun nearly spent all his time at his office because of his work piled up during his absence. Junsu once offered to help him but Yoochun told him it would be better if he stayed at home to rest properly before he began looking for a job. His lover was being so considerate of him and he knew only wanted the best for him.
After only three days when Junsu felt like a money eating hag again he went out into the streets of Tokyo to take a look around. The people were great and there were also foreigners everywhere whom some can speak Japanese. It was so strange to see those European and American with their blond/brown hair with blue/green eyes speaking the same language as him.
There were also kids some seemed only younger than him by a few years that were acting rebellious and seemed like they needed a smack to sober them up. But apparently no one dared to do anything and Junsu wasn’t someone that liked meddling. His only goal now was just to look around and maybe with a little luck would be able to find a job.
When the sun had set Junsu decided to head back home. Yoochun was probably going to be home soon and Junsu wanted to be there to welcome him. Thinking about their relationship it seemed so cliché like it was taken from a yaoi manga. He didn’t want Yoochun to be like a sugar daddy for him. He wanted Yoochun to be able to depend on him, whether it was for mental support or economically. He didn’t want to eat out off Yoochun’s hands.
Maybe it was fate or destiny for him.
Junsu felt lonely walking around in the streets so he started to hum and sing quietly to himself. It should not be audible for others to hear when out of nowhere someone patted on his shoulder. The man looked like one of those creepy pedophiles that roamed the streets. If that was the case Junsu was prepared to give this man a piece of his mind but that was not what happened next.
The man reached into his pocket and took out a white business card. “Hello my name is Minase Haruya and I’m working as a talent scout for AVEX.”
Junsu stared at the card still looking very puzzled why the man had approached him. The man seemed to understand from Junsu’s expression that he had never heard of AVEX and so started to explain. In the end Junsu had gotten a proper picture of what AVEX was and agreed to attend the next audition held on Friday.
When Yoochun returned home he could tell that something good had happened if not why else was Junsu beaming. When he asked Junsu about it the boy had denied and would not tell him anything no matter how much he pleaded, even in bed. The next morning Junsu asked Yoochun for his credit card. Yoochun teased him a bit about his hidden secret as it was strange for Junsu who had so much pride to request that. Junsu only gave him an ‘I know but you don’t’ look which frustrated him since they never kept any secrets from each other.
After leaving the house, Junsu hailed a cab, “Can you take me to the largest shopping center?”
Fifteen minutes later they arrived at Shibuya and Junsu paid the driver using the credit card. The man looked at him strangely and Junsu knew he must be wondering where he had gotten the card since Junsu didn’t look like a millionaire. Not to mention he was too young to be that successful of a businessman so the only conclusion he would come to was that it was stolen. Junsu did not let the looks of the driver bothered him.
Exiting the cab Junsu strode towards the nearest shop and started to browse the clothes. Initially he had an idea of what to pick but he was now a bit loss as he faced a shop full of so many options. Instead of wasting his time Junsu asked an attendant for help. The lady was very nice and asked him for what occasions he needed to wear the outfit to. Junsu told her he was having a singing audition and the lady told him she knew just the right outfit for him. It wasn’t anything flashy that would spell that he might be a spoiled rich brat but it gave him more of a mysterious feel.
There was no need to waste Yoochun’s money on unnecessary stuff so he returned home after buying that one set of cloth. This was going to be the chance of a lifetime and if he succeeded, Yoochun was going to be so proud of him. Yoochun was still sulking a bit when he got home but it was all forgotten when he looked at the table of food Junsu had prepared.
“Should I prepare a bath for you?”
By then Yoochun felt like he was in heaven, with the five-star treatment he was receiving No doubt Junsu would let him have his way with his kinky little games tonight.
***
It was Junsu’s turn to sing and he was nervous as hell when those spooky wrinkled people stared at him intensely. Amongst them sat a very young man about Yoochun’s age emitting the exact same aura as Yoochun. Junsu focused on a pot situated above their head and started singing. He sang one of his favorite songs called ‘Beautiful thing’ which Yoochun had composed for him when they were staying at the hotel. He sang with his heart thinking about the happy times where he had spent with Yoochun. It was his dream to go there again and Yoochun had promised they would return next year for a vacation
Maybe he had managed to convey these emotions through the song because after the audition they told him to stay back and he was questioned by the man with the same aura as Yoochun. It seemed like he had the authority and was acting like the president. It was just like he had expected when he was asked the reason why he wanted to become a singer.
He told the truth, “I like to sing and needed the money.”
Judging by the look on the man’s face he knew his answer was not enough. The man tried to warn him that once he stepped into this field there would be no return and he would be really lonely IF he reached the peak of his career. Junsu wasn’t frightened that easily and kept his stubborn facade. They told him that they would call him for more information which meant he had been recruited. When Junsu got back home he waited for Yoochun while still dressed in the same cloth. He wanted them to celebrate outside and Yoochun was willing to abide though he thought it was a bit odd. Junsu was full of ideas and surprises these days.
“Yoochun I have good news. Today I was accepted into AVEX, can you believe it? I still can’t really believe it but I really wanted to give it a shot and they think I’m worth it!!!”
Either Yoochun was too happy to the extent of being speechless and expressionless or he had something else going on in his mind. But in a matter of seconds the dark gloomy look on his face faded and his eyes flickered with true happiness for Junsu.
“Congratulations Junsu. So that’s why you were so emotional yesterday?”
“Hey the nurse and doctor idea was all yours.”
“I’m just saying baby that if you ever need my help just ask. Because if you’re joining the entertainment circle then I will be able to help you.”
They enjoyed their luxurious dinner while conversing lightly, their faces glowing in the dim light emitted from the candelabrum. Classical live music was playing softly in the background and the lovely couple was sharing thousands of words by merely looking deeply into each others’ eyes.
***
Yoochun was busy with his work while Junsu was busy with his. The amount of time they shared with each other eventually got less and less. The main problem was that neither of them had the time to actually do anything about it. In AVEX Junsu needed to exercise a lot in order to improve his physical form since he still had a lot of baby fat left. His voice had already undergone puberty and was ready to be polished. But it seemed like no matter how hard he worked his boss Jung Yunho was never content.
One day he was asked no more like ordered to stay in the dorm by Yunho, just a “You’re going to live in the dorms with other trainees” and that was it. Without any choice Junsu told Yoochun that night and the man was furious screaming and cussing at that damned AVEX for slavery. After he had vented out his anger and Junsu could talk to him again he told Yoochun of how much this meant for him. He has already worked so hard the past year and quitting now would just make all his hard work go to waste. Somewhat he managed to convince Yoochun to let him stay at the dorm but he had to promise that he would be back in the weekends and to call every other day. Also he must not get too close with any of the other trainees especially the boys.
“Yoochun you know don’t have to worry. I was straight before I met you.” Junsu said like that was not another problem Yoochun had to worry about.
“Maybe this is not such a good idea after all. I mean you’re so cute and sweet and they may decide to do something to you. I mean think of all those old and greasy teachers that will be around you 24/7.”
Junsu thought Yoochun was pretty cute when he was in such a worried state, sounding almost desperate for Junsu to stay.
“I’m going to be okay. I mean look at these muscles. I’m sure I’ll be able to fend them off one way or another.”
When he started staying at the dorm he found that it wasn’t as bad as Yoochun had pictured it for him. All the young boys in his dorm were just like him, nice and quiet. That was not the case for the dorm next to his which was always very loud but there was this boy there called Hyukjae that he got along really well with. They talked about everything without any secrets or lies and Junsu even told him of his lover, Yoochun. It was different from his relationship with Yoochun whom he couldn’t tell about his past but he could with Hyukjae. Maybe it was because he treasured Yoochun more and didn’t want the man to think of him as an unwanted child.
Well that was when Hyukjae dropped the bomb on him telling him that there was this certain Park Yoochun who was a pimp in Ginza. His mother was the owner and he help scouted for boys and girls to work for his mother’s shop. Junsu would not believe him at first but when the more he thought about it the more sense it made. Why Yoochun was so secretive about his work and why he never mention any of his colleagues or bring any friends home.
It was a Thursday night but he couldn’t wait until Friday so even though it was against the rules he still went home. He halted. Home. Junsu considered that place as his home. He never had a home before and now he had one. Yoochun was waiting for him every weekend and would get worried if he went missing. That was what home meant. Again he ran and this time faster than before. When Junsu unlocked the door he ran to the bedroom and found Yoochun sleeping there. Junsu threw himself at him, straddling the man. His fists hit Yoochun, only in pretense since he would never really hurt Yoochun. His actions woke Yoochun up who looked at him with sleepy eyes.
“You bastard. When we met you were using me! Using me! Now he was crying at the same time alerting Yoochun to what was happening. He hugged him tightly even though Junsu was resisting and kept hitting his chest.
“I’m so sorry baby. I love you now. Please listen to me.”
Slowly the sobbing stopped and Junsu looked up at Yoochun with red eyes. “You were using me the first time we met.”
It was a strong accusation emptied of all the happy and loving moments they had spent together to say they were all lies and Yoochun never loved him.
“No!” Yoochun protested, “Okay at first yes.”
Junsu started clenching his fist and was ready for another round.
“But I realized that I love you the morning when you kissed me. Your cherub lips were so soft like marshmallow and you tasted like cinnamon. I fell in love with you Kim Junsu. Please I’m telling you the truth.”
Junsu was having a war inside his head. A battle between the good and evil and in the end the side voting for Yoochun won. How could he stay mad or even live without the man. “But why didn’t you tell me.”
“I was afraid that you’d react like this.”
Junsu giggled and moved to sit beside Yoochun on the bed. All the tears he shed had made his nose runny so he took a tissue and sneezed into it. “So you are not one of the bad guys?”
“Of course not, Junsu. My mom took care of the people that I brought back and we don’t do any slavery/prostitution work. They just meet up with the clients and chat with them. The girls are not allowed to leave the shop when they are with a client and meeting outside the club would get them fired.”
“Oh, so there are no boys?”
It made Yoochun coughed and he looked away. “So who told you I’m working at Ginza?”
Now it was Junsu’s turn to avoid the topic. “So it was a guy right?” And Junsu can feel the jealousy oozing from Yoochun.
***
Life was peaceful again. Yoochun even took Junsu to the shop once and Junsu found it very pleasant. When a lady asked if he wanted to work there Yoochun came to fend her off and that was when Junsu found out that she was Yoochun’s mother. She looked not a day older than forty and had clear black eyes that seemed to be able to see through him. But the storm was always brewing. Junsu was going to debut soon and his schedule was getting tighter than ever. He promised Yoochun that he would return home once he debuted which was in two weeks. During that time he was confined in the studio to prepare him for the final stage.
When he stepped on the stage, Boa held his hand. He was like an angel onstage as his body seemed to be on auto-pilot as he was not aware of his own actions. When the time came he still managed to say a few words and gave the audience his trademark smile. After the duet with Boa he was going to sing a solo of his own choice. He sang “Beautiful thing” and this time it was a huge difference from his audition. Yunho complimented him for the first time after the show and told him to keep up with his good work. Afterwards Junsu went with the staff to a drinking party and he ended up so drunk that the staff had to carry him back to the dorm.
Junsu’s drunken state was just the perfect opportunity for Hyukjae to take advantage of the boy and that was exactly what he did. Next morning when Junsu woke up he found his lower half in a horrible state. He was limping and really couldn’t move much. He found a naked Hyukjae beside him and he immediately understood the situation. He started to hit the boy, hitting him so hard that it would probably leave dark purplish bruises. But one his was not enough and he kept on hitting him until Hyukjae fell down from the bed.
“What do you think you’re doing?” He rubbed the sore spots where Junsu had hit and finally looked wide awake.
“How dare you do this to me? I thought we were friends!”
“You never looked at me. Only Yoochun this and Yoochun that.” It was true that Hyukjae had hinted that he might like Junsu. However, Junsu had turned a blind eye to the situation rather than facing it since he knew the outcome would ruin their friendship.
“You were my friend Hyukjae! I trusted you and this is how I’m being repaid.” This was all so ridiculous. Junsu never thought that other men would be attracted to him much less his own best friend. And by the look of it Junsu didn’t know if he wanted to be friends with Hyukjae anymore.
“Get out!” His face was blank and pale. Just the mere thought of Yoochun finding out about this scared him. He was afraid of what the man might do to Hyukjae when he found out.
“You can’t tell me that. Please Junsu!” He begged on his knees and was was getting teary. But Junsu was not going to be so forgiving in this case. It was a matter of pride and his body was at stake if Hyukjae stayed. Who knew what more tricks the boy would use to harass and blackmail him in the future? To save the other’s skin he needed to end their friendship.
With shrunken shoulders Hyukjae walked out of his room. They never really talked to each other again because Junsu moved out the very next day. All his belongings were moved into the car but not the trunk as the furniture didn’t belong to him, and all the cloth he owned was just enough to fill a bag. His new apartment of course belonged to the company located just a few blocks ride to AVEX and was closed to the supermarket. This time Junsu lived all alone and didn’t need to share anything with anyone. All of this would be his until his contracts was over.
Junsu explored his new place and was very happy with it. Now he was going to be able to visit Yoochun more often instead of sneaking out during the weekends. But his plan was soon forgotten when his manager called him to tell him that his presence was needed at the company. Well apparently that was the only day he could slack off because starting the next day and for the following eight weeks his life would take a turning point. He lost weight of about twenty kilos. He was only allowed to sleep for two hours in between shows or during the time they were traveling from one venue to the next. His schedule was hectic and never in his life had he been busier.
The public/netizens welcomed him with open arms and soon his fame rose all around Asia, known to them as Xiah. Everyone wanted him and would recognize his face on the streets. It was like he became an overnight sensation. Junsu now earned a lot and was treated more like a human as compared to his trainee’s days where he felt like a slave. But all that he earned had come with a price. He was constantly busy and can never seem to make time for Yoochun. After a day at work, he was so tired that he didn’t even have the strength to answer Yoochun’s phone calls.
But whenever he had time Junsu made sure to visit Yoochun and to tell him how much he missed him. Eventually it all became a very tiresome routine. His life and his career was coming to a stage where he felt suffocated by it, like he had problems to breathe when he was signing autographs or when he was on tours. The fans all loved him and wanted a piece of him but it was all becoming too much. It was an invisible burden that seemed to drag him down. Both his physical and mental welfare were becoming unstable. He never told anyone trying to keep it to himself. It was frightening how he was no longer able to walk on the streets without being circled or hunt down. They followed him like small ants he never had the chance to tell them to leave him alone because that would endanger his career.
“Hello how are you?”
“I’m busy now, later.”
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
So what changed in Yoochun’s life when Junsu was no longer beside him? He felt lonely and small. The apartment felt empty without Junsu’s laughter and his not so funny jokes. Yoochun had no motivation to go to work at his mother’s store. She told him maybe he needed to hit the road again but Yoochun didn’t want to miss Junsu in case he came for a visit. They had made a promise to go back to the hotel they have stayed in the past. It was now a forgotten promise since Junsu never had the time for him nowadays.
Television was something Yoochun would watch since Junsu would often show up on some show or program. It was good to see Junsu’s face even though he was never home. He recorded all of Junsu’s performances and would rewatched them whenever he missed Junsu, which was all the time. It has become an obsession of his. Yoochun felt that his life was slowly fading away every time he saw Junsu on TV. This kind of stalking sickness as his mother had called it needed a cure and that was for him to hit the road. He needed the time away from the city and maybe even his lover.
As he was on his way to drive out of Tokyo he felt a sudden urge to tell Junsu where he was in case he came looking for him. But the conversation they had was brief and before Yoochun had the chance to say anything Junsu had already hung up.
***
Junsu tried calling his boss even visited his office to demand a vacation but it was never granted. Yunho avoided him like he was some debt collector and Junsu never got a chance to really talk to him. His life now was always packed with full schedules. The moment he had set foot onstage at Boa’s show he was never going to be free again. The netizens and reporters were going to follow him 24/7. The slightest mistake or even something that smelled a little fishy would instantly become a scandal.
Junsu hasn’t met Yoochun in six months and it was not like he even notice how much time had passed. Yoochun didn’t call him even once and he wasn’t curious about Yoochun’s whereabouts either. He became less concerned about everything else, only focusing on his singing and in doing his job. Life seemed to be flying past him and now Junsu realized he was no longer the teenager that he was. He was now a well respected senior that many others admired and looked up to. But nothing much had really changed when his thoughts fell upon Yoochun.
The heartache was still there whenever he thought about Yoochun. He had gotten a call from Yoochun last night, the man whom he hasn’t seen for a year. Just his voice alone was able to send shivers down his spine and made him lose control of whatever little pride he had left. If Yoochun asked him to leave everything and go to him, he would. That was the kind of power Yoochun had over him.
From April to November was the busiest time for Junsu. It was when he needed to promote his latest single and to go for his tours around Asia. His lower body was reacting to the heat and he yearned so badly for Yoochun. Junsu didn’t know when or how it became like this but he had avoided Yoochun. He didn’t answer his calls and had stopped going back home. It was as if he wanted to cut off all ties with Yoochun. He knew that Yoochun was suffering as the last time they met Yoochun had looked old and haggard. His skin was then in a blemish color which had made Junsu wonder if he had been eating and sleeping properly.
Was it healthy? Was Junsu the person that Yoochun needed beside him? These kinds of questions started to pop into his mind. No matter how much he twisted the facts and to try and think from different angles, Junsu always arrived at the same conclusion. The conclusion that he was ‘the poison flowing in Yoochun’s veins, the drug he needed to sleep’. With these in mind he decided that he needed to leave Yoochun. To let Yoochun find someone that would be more suitable for him.
His plan was set in motion. From the beginning he didn’t even answer Yoochun’s phone and has avoided the man when he went looking for Junsu at AVEX. But whenever Junsu answered Yoochun’s calls it was with a chilly emotionless voice and his replies were always short and curt. Yoochun didn’t understand from the beginning but he slowly got the hint. But it was impossible for Yoochun what Junsu was trying to do as this love toxic has already entered his system and he can never be cured from this love.
This was a terrible realization for Yoochun knowing Junsu was going to abandon him for a better future. But for Yoochun there was none without Junsu. Didn’t they promise each other that they would return to stay at the hotel again and to go on a vacation together? Now all this has become a dream, a distant dream where stars twinkled brightly on the sky. Yoochun remembered that during the ride they could watch the stars in the sky because the city lights did not obscure the stars.
Junsu was his star, bright and pure that lit up his life when he was up to no good.
“MySt@r.”
***
The late November night was illuminated by cameras and large light poles. Thousands of fans had been waiting in this cold winter night to catch a glimpse of famous actors, singers and gagmen. It was the late Fuji celebration held at the heart of Tokyo. Everyone was waiting with anticipation when a black Mercedes rolled up. Inside sat a beautiful man, dressed in all white with red gloves. His newly styled hair gave him a mean look. On the seat beside him his phone vibrated before the music “beautiful things” resounded through the car.
“Hello?” Junsu has deleted Yoochun’s number from his phone so he did not know the number belonged to him.
“Junsu. It’s me. How are you?”
“Hurry up and talk. I’m busy!” He wanted to listen just a little more to this entrancing voice that struck a chord in his soul and pulled at his heartstrings. It was his punishment for abandoning Yoochun.
“You’ve become beautiful and grown up to be a fine man.” Yoochun’s voice was shaking and so were his hands.
“Don’t remind me.” Junsu wiped away a tear from his face in a hurry so as not to ruin his make-up.
“Live happily. Bye.”
The line went dead. Yoochun held his phone close to his mouth wishing that he have said something more. This goodbye was all too brief but he had said all that was in his heart. Looking down from where he stood Yoochun felt the jealousy burning in his heart and like the smoke it was choking him. When he had walked down the streets earlier he found himself face to face with Junsu’s poster, which was plastered everywhere. That precious smile that only belong to him before was now shown to million of others now. Memories from the past, all those happy times they have together all seemed like a faraway dream now.
Where had it gone wrong?
Yoochun closed his eyes hoping that his dream would come true and he could be beside Junsu again. He reached out to the invisible dream wanting to see the star, “MySt@r.”
***
Junsu got out of the car and the cameras flashed around him as he showed them his trademark smile.
“Kyaaaaaa” the crowd screamed his name and all pushed forward to try and touch him. He didn’t move and just remained on the same spot. He knew they would not be able to touch him because the bodyguards would protect him.
Keep smiling Junsu told himself.
As he started to move towards the entrance a loud *BANG* was heard and all the previous cheers turned to screams. Confusion erupted and all went crazy but Junsu was already inside the party venue when it all happened.
All of a sudden the glass in his hand slipped, dropping to the floor and some of the red wine smeared his white suit. Something was wrong, awfully wrong but Junsu just could not put his finger on it. Only later when the police arrived outside and the sound of sirens alerted everyone inside the party.
‘A man had just committed suicide by jumping off the building and landed on a black Mercedes. The man died on the spot.’
Pairings:YooSu
Rating:Nc-17/Nc-15
Warnings:Death
Beta:ting5
Genre:AU!, romance
Summary:On the day Yoochun picked up Junsu he has become his star. What will happen to them when Junsu became everyone else's star.
| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆
Photogenic Love YunJae
Junsu remembered freedom only as a far away dream. Sometimes he was not alone but lately it seemed to be just the case. It made him jolt awake late at night feeling frustrated and frightened.
The road ahead of Junsu was long and seemingly endless. He had no idea of what destination his travel would take him to as he was on the move just to pass time. Back home Junsu was often mistreated and he felt unwanted. So one day it occurred to him that he should just leave the place and to start anew somewhere else, which was exactly what he was doing now with what little belongings he had.
His bag was almost empty now since he didn’t have that much money to prepare things for him to bring. He only has another change of clothes. He really didn’t have that much. Junsu kept walking under the sun till he felt like he was being cooked like a steak. The sunrays seemed to boil his skin and in the late afternoon Junsu thought he was starting to hallucinate when he saw an old rusty car headed his way.
*Honk* The car stopped and the window was scrolled down. Junsu felt the cold air within hit his face when he peered at the person inside. It was a man about thirty, unshaven and dressed in rags not so different from him.
“Do you want a lift somewhere?” It was a truly concerned voice and his eyes were friendly.
Junsu fell to his knees when he realized how close he was to have not met such a chance if he has not picked this road. The man helped Junsu into his car and fastened his seatbelt.
“Park Yoochun.” He reached out his hand and Junsu took it in a firm handshake, “Kim Junsu, thank you so much for helping me.”
Yoochun started the engine, “So where are you heading to?”
The question caught Junsu off guard. He had avoided thinking about that question himself since he really didn’t know where he could go. Japan was big but there was nowhere in this land that he could call home since there was no one waiting for him.
“Actually I haven’t decided yet.”
“Then do you mind hitting the road with me for a month? I have some business I needed to attend to.”
“Sure.” Junsu answered. Since he had no destination so why not just go with the flow? The man was nice and after spending fifteen minutes in this stranger’s car Junsu knew he could trust him. He felt that they somehow connected and were quite similar in some ways.
During the ride they talked about music, and only music. Junsu never met someone who shared the same fierce passion for music as himself. He found out that Yoochun composed in his free time and when the elder hummed one of the melodies he had created Junsu ended up gawking. The melody was none other than ‘It’s you’ which was sung by Super Junior, a Korean boy band. Junsu knew all their songs and dance moves where his member was Eunhyuk.
At the same time as Yoochun hummed Junsu started singing with his beautify husky voice. It took Yoochun by surprise that Junsu’s strained voice could managed such high notes and possessed such feeling. However when the question about family was brought up neither of them was very enthusiastic to share. So to avoid anymore uncomfortable and awkward situations none of them mentioned it again.
Junsu had no idea how much time had passed since he entered Yoochun’s car, or literally Yoochun’s life. Time passed by quickly when you were enjoying ~ which was true. He really enjoyed the time he spent with Yoochun inside this small cozy car. But it came to an end or he should say put on hold when they arrived at the orphanage.
Yoochun parked the car and headed towards the reception with Junsu. “I’ve booked a room under the name Micky.”
“Please wait a minute sir.”
Junsu’s mouth was gaping wide open as he stared at the place which was very magnificent and grand. He never saw anything like this except on TV and those seemed like out of this world so Junsu never thought he would have the chance to experience it himself.
“If you don’t close your mouth you’d soon be drooling on their red carpet.”
“Yoochun are you rich?” It was a straightforward question without any hidden motives.
“So what if I am? Are you going to run away then?”
It gave Junsu something to think about so he didn’t answer immediately. When the elevator stopped they stepped out and Yoochun gave Junsu a key to a separate suite on the other side of the hall. “You can live in that suite and I’ll be staying in another on this side.”
Junsu nodded and went to his room. If he was surprised before, his jaw would have fall to the floor at the sight in front of him now. The entire room was decorated in Victorian style, the furniture and also wall, which were all bright and colorful. Then he saw a large bed situated in the middle and without any hesitation he jumped on it. Snuggling on the sweet-smelling and comfortable bed, Junsu thought this was surely what heaven felt like. Never in his life had anyone treated Junsu with so much extravagance.
A knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts but Junsu didn’t go to open it opting instead to wait for that person to enter. Junsu didn’t recognize the person who entered and just kept on staring until the person broke down laughing. “It’s me Junsu, Yoochun.”
“Yoochun?” he asked in disbelief and even pinched Yoochun’s cheek to see if it was really him. The change was so drastic that Junsu couldn’t believe his eyes. The man in front of him was the most handsome and godlike that he has ever seen. He looked so divine and was oozing sexiness.
“You’re hot Yoochun.” When Junsu realized what had just came out of his mouth he blushed like mad and hid his head in the covers.
“Come on Junsu. You still haven’t changed.” Yoochun helped Junsu to pick out what to wear and his transformation from head to toe was no less than Yoochun’s. When Junsu stood in front of the mirror and stared at his own reflection he could not believe that this young beautiful man could be him. Unimaginable!
“Let’s head down. The party is about to start.”
***
Junsu sat on a table with a big plate in his hand. It was full with delicacies. He took a small bite and groaned wanting to ask Yoochun what it was made of. However the man was still busy shaking hands with a lot of boring old decayed people. His eyes followed Yoochun like a hawk. Some women walked up to Yoochun and in Junsu’s eyes started to flirt shamelessly with him. They were pathetically throwing themselves into Yoochun’s arms but the man politely declined them. But he saw Yoochun giving them a white card and he wanted to know what it was.
When Yoochun returned to his suite at midnight he found Junsu on his bed with a bunny in his arms. He slept so soundly that Yoochun couldn’t find it in his heart to wake the boy up. So Yoochun placed Junsu’s hand under the blanket and then taking a pillow for himself he headed to the couch. He didn’t want to sleep in the same bed as the boy just in case he…he couldn’t hold himself anymore and attacked the boy.
This was going all wrong and not according to his plans. No matter how much he tried to convince himself that this was just another business but something was holding him back from carrying out his true intentions. The morning sun kissed his face and he instantly opened his eyes only to see the boy backing away like a frightened deer looking guilty and lost.
“Do you like me?” Yoochun asked.
Why beat around the bush when Yoochun already knew the boy had some kind of feelings for him. He was not sure of his own emotions yet and he has not come to any understanding the significant of the boy’s appearance in his life. “I think I like you too so you can tell me.”
He sounded like a shrink and sensing from Junsu’s stance he can tell he was very uncomfortable. Avoiding looking Yoochun straight in the eye, Junsu managed to say without stuttering, “I noticed that some ladies were very attracted to you last night.” Junsu decided to say those words instead of saying yes.
So Junsu was jealous last night. Well, feeling possessive was only a start so Yoochun confirmed, ”So you are jealous?”
It caught Junsu off guard and Yoochun picked just that moment to pull Junsu onto his lap, hugging him tightly in case he wanted to escape. “Can you answer me?”
Junsu buried his face between Yoochun’s collarbone and with a husky voice answered, “Yes.”
“Then let us do something about it.” Yoochun carried Junsu to the bed and dropped him with a thud.
“It’s morning Yoochun. We just woke up.”
“Baby I’m a healthy man and extremely active in the morning.” He thrust their hips together allowing Junsu to feel his hardened jewel.
For Junsu it was almost suffocating to not let out his moans when Yoochun skillfully caressed his sensitive youthful skin that had never been fully exposed to anyone. Yoochun’s hot breath on his thighs felt like snake crawling under his skin leaving red marks along the way. It was Yoochun’s way to show who Junsu belonged to and he really wanted to mark Junsu as his.
The stroking hand on top of his pants startled Yoochun and seeing the shock on Yoochun’s face Junsu said, “I want to please you too.”
How adorable Junsu was to willingly touch Yoochun. The boy’s face was flushed red and he shyly averted his eyes from Yoochun’s. He was too embarrassed especially when Yoochun removed his pants to release his hardened jewel. Pleasure surged through his veins and his world exploded as he orgasm spilling his cum into Yoochun’s mouth. The man looked at Junsu with eyes like a predator, those sharp stealthy eyes drawing Junsu into a web of passion and frenzy with lust.
Junsu let the man spread his legs wide since he himself had lost the strength to move as the after bliss from his orgasm lingered leaving him in a daze. Yoochun chuckled at his surprised look when he inserted his fingers into Junsu’s entrance and started to scissor his soft yet tight walls. “So I guess this is your first time with a man?”
Junsu averted his gaze and looked at the sheets which suddenly became more fascinating. Yoochun laughed at his childish and innocent manner. “Then I shall be your first man.”
There was a goofy smile on Yoochun’s face and for those that knew of Yoochun’s personality and his job would have never expected to see that. All that Yoochun had in his mind now was to make Junsu moan his name and to beg him for more. No doubt that the boy may be too shy to beg but it was still a wishful thought.
***
Junsu and Yoochun spent about half a year happily in their own little world. Nothing bothered them until issues from reality began to crawl back into their lives. Yoochun started to get phone calls regarding his work that became more and more urgent. Junsu noticed the restlessness in Yoochun and his mood swings. He would get angry a lot even with small stuff that Junsu finally decided it was time for Yoochun to return to the city, to Tokyo.
One evening as Yoochun sat in front of his notebook emailing his company, Junsu who was reading a magazine started a conversation out of the blue, “Yoochun I want to start working.”
The man was so surprised that he didn’t know what to say. He closed his notebook and sat down beside Junsu. Yoochun was still very sensitive and gentle with him but Junsu noticed that he longed to return to the city and to contact his friends. It would be selfish of him to keep Yoochun all to himself.
“Baby aren’t you not happy here?” His wrinkled forehead and raised eyebrows told Junsu that Yoochun was worried about him, about his welfare and feelings.
“No Chunnie I just want to see the city. I’ve never been outside from the village where I lived and the only other place is this hotel that we’ve been staying for this past six months. I’m still young and I want to work to make a living instead of living off yours.”
“Su, I’m happy with you using my money. It’s why I earn them.” He caressed Junsu’s arm while looking at him with sorrowful eyes.
‘It’s only you Yoochun who doesn’t realize how much you want to go back. This place is not right for us anymore.’
“I want to work and see Tokyo, please Yoochun,” Junsu used his last hidden trick, his puppy eyes
“Junsu you know I can’t say no when you look at me like that.” Yoochun pouted knowing he had lost and clung onto Junsu. “You know baby, you are my life. Without you I would not be able to live.”
“Hush, I know, I know. Me too.”
***
Tokyo was indeed a big city. Junsu had no idea how people could walk around without getting lost as these streets was like a labyrinth. There were so many people and Junsu wondered if all of them worked and lived in Tokyo? Again Junsu felt like he had returned to being the little boy that had just came out from his village.
Yoochun took Junsu’s hand in his and they exited the airport. A black sedan was waiting for them and Yoochun opened the door for Junsu to slip in. Junsu rested his head on Yoochun’s lap since he didn’t sleep well on the plane. Yoochun’s lap was so soft and comfortable that he dozed off immediately but after only what felt like a second later someone shook him awake. Irritated Junsu wanted to scream at whomever that was. He knew he was acting like a girl who was pms:ing, which Yoochun found funny since he was a man.
“Do you want to sleep or eat first?” Yoochun asked gently.
He didn’t need to think twice as he pulled the hem of Yoochun’s shirt leading them to the bedroom. Their house this time was much more modern and had a lot of high technology stuff but Junsu was too tired to take any notice of his surroundings. He used Yoochun’s arm as a pillow and rested his head there. It may seemed unfair to Yoochun since his arm would become numb when he woke up but Yoochun would never pulled away so he can rest there and be able to sleep soundly.
Life in Tokyo was very different. For the first week Yoochun nearly spent all his time at his office because of his work piled up during his absence. Junsu once offered to help him but Yoochun told him it would be better if he stayed at home to rest properly before he began looking for a job. His lover was being so considerate of him and he knew only wanted the best for him.
After only three days when Junsu felt like a money eating hag again he went out into the streets of Tokyo to take a look around. The people were great and there were also foreigners everywhere whom some can speak Japanese. It was so strange to see those European and American with their blond/brown hair with blue/green eyes speaking the same language as him.
There were also kids some seemed only younger than him by a few years that were acting rebellious and seemed like they needed a smack to sober them up. But apparently no one dared to do anything and Junsu wasn’t someone that liked meddling. His only goal now was just to look around and maybe with a little luck would be able to find a job.
When the sun had set Junsu decided to head back home. Yoochun was probably going to be home soon and Junsu wanted to be there to welcome him. Thinking about their relationship it seemed so cliché like it was taken from a yaoi manga. He didn’t want Yoochun to be like a sugar daddy for him. He wanted Yoochun to be able to depend on him, whether it was for mental support or economically. He didn’t want to eat out off Yoochun’s hands.
Maybe it was fate or destiny for him.
Junsu felt lonely walking around in the streets so he started to hum and sing quietly to himself. It should not be audible for others to hear when out of nowhere someone patted on his shoulder. The man looked like one of those creepy pedophiles that roamed the streets. If that was the case Junsu was prepared to give this man a piece of his mind but that was not what happened next.
The man reached into his pocket and took out a white business card. “Hello my name is Minase Haruya and I’m working as a talent scout for AVEX.”
Junsu stared at the card still looking very puzzled why the man had approached him. The man seemed to understand from Junsu’s expression that he had never heard of AVEX and so started to explain. In the end Junsu had gotten a proper picture of what AVEX was and agreed to attend the next audition held on Friday.
When Yoochun returned home he could tell that something good had happened if not why else was Junsu beaming. When he asked Junsu about it the boy had denied and would not tell him anything no matter how much he pleaded, even in bed. The next morning Junsu asked Yoochun for his credit card. Yoochun teased him a bit about his hidden secret as it was strange for Junsu who had so much pride to request that. Junsu only gave him an ‘I know but you don’t’ look which frustrated him since they never kept any secrets from each other.
After leaving the house, Junsu hailed a cab, “Can you take me to the largest shopping center?”
Fifteen minutes later they arrived at Shibuya and Junsu paid the driver using the credit card. The man looked at him strangely and Junsu knew he must be wondering where he had gotten the card since Junsu didn’t look like a millionaire. Not to mention he was too young to be that successful of a businessman so the only conclusion he would come to was that it was stolen. Junsu did not let the looks of the driver bothered him.
Exiting the cab Junsu strode towards the nearest shop and started to browse the clothes. Initially he had an idea of what to pick but he was now a bit loss as he faced a shop full of so many options. Instead of wasting his time Junsu asked an attendant for help. The lady was very nice and asked him for what occasions he needed to wear the outfit to. Junsu told her he was having a singing audition and the lady told him she knew just the right outfit for him. It wasn’t anything flashy that would spell that he might be a spoiled rich brat but it gave him more of a mysterious feel.
There was no need to waste Yoochun’s money on unnecessary stuff so he returned home after buying that one set of cloth. This was going to be the chance of a lifetime and if he succeeded, Yoochun was going to be so proud of him. Yoochun was still sulking a bit when he got home but it was all forgotten when he looked at the table of food Junsu had prepared.
“Should I prepare a bath for you?”
By then Yoochun felt like he was in heaven, with the five-star treatment he was receiving No doubt Junsu would let him have his way with his kinky little games tonight.
***
It was Junsu’s turn to sing and he was nervous as hell when those spooky wrinkled people stared at him intensely. Amongst them sat a very young man about Yoochun’s age emitting the exact same aura as Yoochun. Junsu focused on a pot situated above their head and started singing. He sang one of his favorite songs called ‘Beautiful thing’ which Yoochun had composed for him when they were staying at the hotel. He sang with his heart thinking about the happy times where he had spent with Yoochun. It was his dream to go there again and Yoochun had promised they would return next year for a vacation
Maybe he had managed to convey these emotions through the song because after the audition they told him to stay back and he was questioned by the man with the same aura as Yoochun. It seemed like he had the authority and was acting like the president. It was just like he had expected when he was asked the reason why he wanted to become a singer.
He told the truth, “I like to sing and needed the money.”
Judging by the look on the man’s face he knew his answer was not enough. The man tried to warn him that once he stepped into this field there would be no return and he would be really lonely IF he reached the peak of his career. Junsu wasn’t frightened that easily and kept his stubborn facade. They told him that they would call him for more information which meant he had been recruited. When Junsu got back home he waited for Yoochun while still dressed in the same cloth. He wanted them to celebrate outside and Yoochun was willing to abide though he thought it was a bit odd. Junsu was full of ideas and surprises these days.
“Yoochun I have good news. Today I was accepted into AVEX, can you believe it? I still can’t really believe it but I really wanted to give it a shot and they think I’m worth it!!!”
Either Yoochun was too happy to the extent of being speechless and expressionless or he had something else going on in his mind. But in a matter of seconds the dark gloomy look on his face faded and his eyes flickered with true happiness for Junsu.
“Congratulations Junsu. So that’s why you were so emotional yesterday?”
“Hey the nurse and doctor idea was all yours.”
“I’m just saying baby that if you ever need my help just ask. Because if you’re joining the entertainment circle then I will be able to help you.”
They enjoyed their luxurious dinner while conversing lightly, their faces glowing in the dim light emitted from the candelabrum. Classical live music was playing softly in the background and the lovely couple was sharing thousands of words by merely looking deeply into each others’ eyes.
***
Yoochun was busy with his work while Junsu was busy with his. The amount of time they shared with each other eventually got less and less. The main problem was that neither of them had the time to actually do anything about it. In AVEX Junsu needed to exercise a lot in order to improve his physical form since he still had a lot of baby fat left. His voice had already undergone puberty and was ready to be polished. But it seemed like no matter how hard he worked his boss Jung Yunho was never content.
One day he was asked no more like ordered to stay in the dorm by Yunho, just a “You’re going to live in the dorms with other trainees” and that was it. Without any choice Junsu told Yoochun that night and the man was furious screaming and cussing at that damned AVEX for slavery. After he had vented out his anger and Junsu could talk to him again he told Yoochun of how much this meant for him. He has already worked so hard the past year and quitting now would just make all his hard work go to waste. Somewhat he managed to convince Yoochun to let him stay at the dorm but he had to promise that he would be back in the weekends and to call every other day. Also he must not get too close with any of the other trainees especially the boys.
“Yoochun you know don’t have to worry. I was straight before I met you.” Junsu said like that was not another problem Yoochun had to worry about.
“Maybe this is not such a good idea after all. I mean you’re so cute and sweet and they may decide to do something to you. I mean think of all those old and greasy teachers that will be around you 24/7.”
Junsu thought Yoochun was pretty cute when he was in such a worried state, sounding almost desperate for Junsu to stay.
“I’m going to be okay. I mean look at these muscles. I’m sure I’ll be able to fend them off one way or another.”
When he started staying at the dorm he found that it wasn’t as bad as Yoochun had pictured it for him. All the young boys in his dorm were just like him, nice and quiet. That was not the case for the dorm next to his which was always very loud but there was this boy there called Hyukjae that he got along really well with. They talked about everything without any secrets or lies and Junsu even told him of his lover, Yoochun. It was different from his relationship with Yoochun whom he couldn’t tell about his past but he could with Hyukjae. Maybe it was because he treasured Yoochun more and didn’t want the man to think of him as an unwanted child.
Well that was when Hyukjae dropped the bomb on him telling him that there was this certain Park Yoochun who was a pimp in Ginza. His mother was the owner and he help scouted for boys and girls to work for his mother’s shop. Junsu would not believe him at first but when the more he thought about it the more sense it made. Why Yoochun was so secretive about his work and why he never mention any of his colleagues or bring any friends home.
It was a Thursday night but he couldn’t wait until Friday so even though it was against the rules he still went home. He halted. Home. Junsu considered that place as his home. He never had a home before and now he had one. Yoochun was waiting for him every weekend and would get worried if he went missing. That was what home meant. Again he ran and this time faster than before. When Junsu unlocked the door he ran to the bedroom and found Yoochun sleeping there. Junsu threw himself at him, straddling the man. His fists hit Yoochun, only in pretense since he would never really hurt Yoochun. His actions woke Yoochun up who looked at him with sleepy eyes.
“You bastard. When we met you were using me! Using me! Now he was crying at the same time alerting Yoochun to what was happening. He hugged him tightly even though Junsu was resisting and kept hitting his chest.
“I’m so sorry baby. I love you now. Please listen to me.”
Slowly the sobbing stopped and Junsu looked up at Yoochun with red eyes. “You were using me the first time we met.”
It was a strong accusation emptied of all the happy and loving moments they had spent together to say they were all lies and Yoochun never loved him.
“No!” Yoochun protested, “Okay at first yes.”
Junsu started clenching his fist and was ready for another round.
“But I realized that I love you the morning when you kissed me. Your cherub lips were so soft like marshmallow and you tasted like cinnamon. I fell in love with you Kim Junsu. Please I’m telling you the truth.”
Junsu was having a war inside his head. A battle between the good and evil and in the end the side voting for Yoochun won. How could he stay mad or even live without the man. “But why didn’t you tell me.”
“I was afraid that you’d react like this.”
Junsu giggled and moved to sit beside Yoochun on the bed. All the tears he shed had made his nose runny so he took a tissue and sneezed into it. “So you are not one of the bad guys?”
“Of course not, Junsu. My mom took care of the people that I brought back and we don’t do any slavery/prostitution work. They just meet up with the clients and chat with them. The girls are not allowed to leave the shop when they are with a client and meeting outside the club would get them fired.”
“Oh, so there are no boys?”
It made Yoochun coughed and he looked away. “So who told you I’m working at Ginza?”
Now it was Junsu’s turn to avoid the topic. “So it was a guy right?” And Junsu can feel the jealousy oozing from Yoochun.
***
Life was peaceful again. Yoochun even took Junsu to the shop once and Junsu found it very pleasant. When a lady asked if he wanted to work there Yoochun came to fend her off and that was when Junsu found out that she was Yoochun’s mother. She looked not a day older than forty and had clear black eyes that seemed to be able to see through him. But the storm was always brewing. Junsu was going to debut soon and his schedule was getting tighter than ever. He promised Yoochun that he would return home once he debuted which was in two weeks. During that time he was confined in the studio to prepare him for the final stage.
When he stepped on the stage, Boa held his hand. He was like an angel onstage as his body seemed to be on auto-pilot as he was not aware of his own actions. When the time came he still managed to say a few words and gave the audience his trademark smile. After the duet with Boa he was going to sing a solo of his own choice. He sang “Beautiful thing” and this time it was a huge difference from his audition. Yunho complimented him for the first time after the show and told him to keep up with his good work. Afterwards Junsu went with the staff to a drinking party and he ended up so drunk that the staff had to carry him back to the dorm.
Junsu’s drunken state was just the perfect opportunity for Hyukjae to take advantage of the boy and that was exactly what he did. Next morning when Junsu woke up he found his lower half in a horrible state. He was limping and really couldn’t move much. He found a naked Hyukjae beside him and he immediately understood the situation. He started to hit the boy, hitting him so hard that it would probably leave dark purplish bruises. But one his was not enough and he kept on hitting him until Hyukjae fell down from the bed.
“What do you think you’re doing?” He rubbed the sore spots where Junsu had hit and finally looked wide awake.
“How dare you do this to me? I thought we were friends!”
“You never looked at me. Only Yoochun this and Yoochun that.” It was true that Hyukjae had hinted that he might like Junsu. However, Junsu had turned a blind eye to the situation rather than facing it since he knew the outcome would ruin their friendship.
“You were my friend Hyukjae! I trusted you and this is how I’m being repaid.” This was all so ridiculous. Junsu never thought that other men would be attracted to him much less his own best friend. And by the look of it Junsu didn’t know if he wanted to be friends with Hyukjae anymore.
“Get out!” His face was blank and pale. Just the mere thought of Yoochun finding out about this scared him. He was afraid of what the man might do to Hyukjae when he found out.
“You can’t tell me that. Please Junsu!” He begged on his knees and was was getting teary. But Junsu was not going to be so forgiving in this case. It was a matter of pride and his body was at stake if Hyukjae stayed. Who knew what more tricks the boy would use to harass and blackmail him in the future? To save the other’s skin he needed to end their friendship.
With shrunken shoulders Hyukjae walked out of his room. They never really talked to each other again because Junsu moved out the very next day. All his belongings were moved into the car but not the trunk as the furniture didn’t belong to him, and all the cloth he owned was just enough to fill a bag. His new apartment of course belonged to the company located just a few blocks ride to AVEX and was closed to the supermarket. This time Junsu lived all alone and didn’t need to share anything with anyone. All of this would be his until his contracts was over.
Junsu explored his new place and was very happy with it. Now he was going to be able to visit Yoochun more often instead of sneaking out during the weekends. But his plan was soon forgotten when his manager called him to tell him that his presence was needed at the company. Well apparently that was the only day he could slack off because starting the next day and for the following eight weeks his life would take a turning point. He lost weight of about twenty kilos. He was only allowed to sleep for two hours in between shows or during the time they were traveling from one venue to the next. His schedule was hectic and never in his life had he been busier.
The public/netizens welcomed him with open arms and soon his fame rose all around Asia, known to them as Xiah. Everyone wanted him and would recognize his face on the streets. It was like he became an overnight sensation. Junsu now earned a lot and was treated more like a human as compared to his trainee’s days where he felt like a slave. But all that he earned had come with a price. He was constantly busy and can never seem to make time for Yoochun. After a day at work, he was so tired that he didn’t even have the strength to answer Yoochun’s phone calls.
But whenever he had time Junsu made sure to visit Yoochun and to tell him how much he missed him. Eventually it all became a very tiresome routine. His life and his career was coming to a stage where he felt suffocated by it, like he had problems to breathe when he was signing autographs or when he was on tours. The fans all loved him and wanted a piece of him but it was all becoming too much. It was an invisible burden that seemed to drag him down. Both his physical and mental welfare were becoming unstable. He never told anyone trying to keep it to himself. It was frightening how he was no longer able to walk on the streets without being circled or hunt down. They followed him like small ants he never had the chance to tell them to leave him alone because that would endanger his career.
“Hello how are you?”
“I’m busy now, later.”
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
So what changed in Yoochun’s life when Junsu was no longer beside him? He felt lonely and small. The apartment felt empty without Junsu’s laughter and his not so funny jokes. Yoochun had no motivation to go to work at his mother’s store. She told him maybe he needed to hit the road again but Yoochun didn’t want to miss Junsu in case he came for a visit. They had made a promise to go back to the hotel they have stayed in the past. It was now a forgotten promise since Junsu never had the time for him nowadays.
Television was something Yoochun would watch since Junsu would often show up on some show or program. It was good to see Junsu’s face even though he was never home. He recorded all of Junsu’s performances and would rewatched them whenever he missed Junsu, which was all the time. It has become an obsession of his. Yoochun felt that his life was slowly fading away every time he saw Junsu on TV. This kind of stalking sickness as his mother had called it needed a cure and that was for him to hit the road. He needed the time away from the city and maybe even his lover.
As he was on his way to drive out of Tokyo he felt a sudden urge to tell Junsu where he was in case he came looking for him. But the conversation they had was brief and before Yoochun had the chance to say anything Junsu had already hung up.
***
Junsu tried calling his boss even visited his office to demand a vacation but it was never granted. Yunho avoided him like he was some debt collector and Junsu never got a chance to really talk to him. His life now was always packed with full schedules. The moment he had set foot onstage at Boa’s show he was never going to be free again. The netizens and reporters were going to follow him 24/7. The slightest mistake or even something that smelled a little fishy would instantly become a scandal.
Junsu hasn’t met Yoochun in six months and it was not like he even notice how much time had passed. Yoochun didn’t call him even once and he wasn’t curious about Yoochun’s whereabouts either. He became less concerned about everything else, only focusing on his singing and in doing his job. Life seemed to be flying past him and now Junsu realized he was no longer the teenager that he was. He was now a well respected senior that many others admired and looked up to. But nothing much had really changed when his thoughts fell upon Yoochun.
The heartache was still there whenever he thought about Yoochun. He had gotten a call from Yoochun last night, the man whom he hasn’t seen for a year. Just his voice alone was able to send shivers down his spine and made him lose control of whatever little pride he had left. If Yoochun asked him to leave everything and go to him, he would. That was the kind of power Yoochun had over him.
From April to November was the busiest time for Junsu. It was when he needed to promote his latest single and to go for his tours around Asia. His lower body was reacting to the heat and he yearned so badly for Yoochun. Junsu didn’t know when or how it became like this but he had avoided Yoochun. He didn’t answer his calls and had stopped going back home. It was as if he wanted to cut off all ties with Yoochun. He knew that Yoochun was suffering as the last time they met Yoochun had looked old and haggard. His skin was then in a blemish color which had made Junsu wonder if he had been eating and sleeping properly.
Was it healthy? Was Junsu the person that Yoochun needed beside him? These kinds of questions started to pop into his mind. No matter how much he twisted the facts and to try and think from different angles, Junsu always arrived at the same conclusion. The conclusion that he was ‘the poison flowing in Yoochun’s veins, the drug he needed to sleep’. With these in mind he decided that he needed to leave Yoochun. To let Yoochun find someone that would be more suitable for him.
His plan was set in motion. From the beginning he didn’t even answer Yoochun’s phone and has avoided the man when he went looking for Junsu at AVEX. But whenever Junsu answered Yoochun’s calls it was with a chilly emotionless voice and his replies were always short and curt. Yoochun didn’t understand from the beginning but he slowly got the hint. But it was impossible for Yoochun what Junsu was trying to do as this love toxic has already entered his system and he can never be cured from this love.
This was a terrible realization for Yoochun knowing Junsu was going to abandon him for a better future. But for Yoochun there was none without Junsu. Didn’t they promise each other that they would return to stay at the hotel again and to go on a vacation together? Now all this has become a dream, a distant dream where stars twinkled brightly on the sky. Yoochun remembered that during the ride they could watch the stars in the sky because the city lights did not obscure the stars.
Junsu was his star, bright and pure that lit up his life when he was up to no good.
“MySt@r.”
***
The late November night was illuminated by cameras and large light poles. Thousands of fans had been waiting in this cold winter night to catch a glimpse of famous actors, singers and gagmen. It was the late Fuji celebration held at the heart of Tokyo. Everyone was waiting with anticipation when a black Mercedes rolled up. Inside sat a beautiful man, dressed in all white with red gloves. His newly styled hair gave him a mean look. On the seat beside him his phone vibrated before the music “beautiful things” resounded through the car.
“Hello?” Junsu has deleted Yoochun’s number from his phone so he did not know the number belonged to him.
“Junsu. It’s me. How are you?”
“Hurry up and talk. I’m busy!” He wanted to listen just a little more to this entrancing voice that struck a chord in his soul and pulled at his heartstrings. It was his punishment for abandoning Yoochun.
“You’ve become beautiful and grown up to be a fine man.” Yoochun’s voice was shaking and so were his hands.
“Don’t remind me.” Junsu wiped away a tear from his face in a hurry so as not to ruin his make-up.
“Live happily. Bye.”
The line went dead. Yoochun held his phone close to his mouth wishing that he have said something more. This goodbye was all too brief but he had said all that was in his heart. Looking down from where he stood Yoochun felt the jealousy burning in his heart and like the smoke it was choking him. When he had walked down the streets earlier he found himself face to face with Junsu’s poster, which was plastered everywhere. That precious smile that only belong to him before was now shown to million of others now. Memories from the past, all those happy times they have together all seemed like a faraway dream now.
Where had it gone wrong?
Yoochun closed his eyes hoping that his dream would come true and he could be beside Junsu again. He reached out to the invisible dream wanting to see the star, “MySt@r.”
***
Junsu got out of the car and the cameras flashed around him as he showed them his trademark smile.
“Kyaaaaaa” the crowd screamed his name and all pushed forward to try and touch him. He didn’t move and just remained on the same spot. He knew they would not be able to touch him because the bodyguards would protect him.
Keep smiling Junsu told himself.
As he started to move towards the entrance a loud *BANG* was heard and all the previous cheers turned to screams. Confusion erupted and all went crazy but Junsu was already inside the party venue when it all happened.
All of a sudden the glass in his hand slipped, dropping to the floor and some of the red wine smeared his white suit. Something was wrong, awfully wrong but Junsu just could not put his finger on it. Only later when the police arrived outside and the sound of sirens alerted everyone inside the party.
‘A man had just committed suicide by jumping off the building and landed on a black Mercedes. The man died on the spot.’