Tumblr and Breaking Bad
I realized I haven't posted here in a few weeks. And I figured I should! So:
A) Part of the reason I haven't been posting is I've finally gotten the hang of Tumblr, so I'm starting to spend more time there (just like the rest of the world, except like two years late). If we aren't yet friends over there, we should be! I'm agnesbean there (~creative~, I know) -- let me know who you are!
B) In the last month or so I marathoned all of Breaking Bad. Which is generally pretty great, especially in Seasons 3 and 4. I'm not sure if I'd rank it up there with the Best Shows Ever the way a lot of people do, but it's one of the best things on right now, no question. And the ACTING is definitely some of the best I've ever seen, not just on TV, but anywhere. Now I get why Bryan Cranston has won all of the Emmys.
But as much as I like Breaking Bad in general, most of my feelings about the show are all about one Mr. Jesse Pinkman, who has taken my heart and run the fuck away with it. (I know I'll probably have someone else I'm obsessing over by next March, but right now I really want to stan him during Fandom March Madness next year if BB is an option again).
And so, while I'm not sure if anyone but nicole_anell will care, I am going to spout some feelings all over the place, because HE IS AMAZING, and the MOST FLAWED, and HEARTBREAKING, and the BEST ACTED, and just generally OMG character I have come across in a while - and I've fallen in love with a number of great characters in the last year. But Jesse is just...man. There's something really special about this character.
(FWIW I'll spoiler tag specific spoilers in case any non-initiates wants to read my ramblings.)
There are two character types I really like that tend to not overlap that much. One is, of course, the morally ambiguous character who means well - or, at least, does not mean active evil - but whose character flaws (often some combo of selfishness, weak will, greed/ambition) leads them to doing some really terrible things. Gaius Baltar, Topher Brink, Mitchell on Being Human (in a Vampire-y way), etc. Love, love, love.
On the flip side, I also really, really like sweet beta males whose strength comes from their loyalty (often to a strong women, sometimes to a friend or group) and kindness. Wash, Rory Williams, Troy Barnes, Oz, Andy on Parks and Rec, Peeta, etc. etc. These characters are normally on the "good" side of things, they're normally devoted to the heroes, and so they're normally not all that morally ambiguous (certainly not on the scale of what I find acceptable and intriguing in characters, where some of my favorites ever include "I pushed a child out of a window" Jaime Lannister and "was an evil vampire for a century" Spike).
Jesse? He manages to be both. A large part of that is because his loyalty ends up going to Walter, and literally the entire concept behind the show is to map out Walter's descent into villainy. Unlike so many other beta male types, Jesse is not devoted to the good guy. But his moral ambiguity started even before that - he's a meth dealer from day one, after all. You don't get there by making particularly moral life choices.
And yet. And YET. I challenge you to find me a character that has a gentler soul at their very core. It's that tension between his truly good heart and the truly bad things he does - things fueled by his addiction, his greed, his self loathing, his misguided faith in Walter - that makes Jesse so fascinating, so beautiful, and so goddamned heartbreaking. Because he's definitely heartbreaking. I mean, the kid can rip my heart out of my chest and tear it into a million pieces just by setting the table for a family dinner. I can't even with him.
Some specific things:
Jesse and kids
Whoever came up with the idea that Jesse is amazing with kids was genius, because I swear this single character trait is a good 50% of what makes him so great. I normally don't care one way or the other if a character is good with kids, but the way Jesse transforms around them is incredible. He becomes so soft, so protective, so genuine. All of his walls just fall away, and you can tell he cares so much, whether it's his own brother or some random child he just met. He's a slacker junkie dealer, but around children you really see his potential to be so much more. It kills me every time.
Jesse's reaction to death
From the very beginning, Jesse is voluntarily part of a dangerous business, and yet he is fundamentally not okay with death in a way that is very rare for characters on shows like this. (Which is apparently a character trait I like - Nolan Ross, another recent favorite, is rather the same way.) So many characters I like live in worlds full of violence and therefore become if not immune, than at least used to it. Either the violence is against bad enough people that they can justify it to themselves, or it just becomes part of their lives.
But you can tell that no matter who the violence is perpetrated against, no matter how bad they are, Jesse can't really deal, emotionally . The look on his face any time someone dies in front of him makes that heartrendingly clear. [Spoiler (click to open)]And, of course, there's his reaction to killing Gale, both in the moment and over the course of Season 4. It is the single most convincing portrayal of what it might be like for a generally moral person to kill someone else that I've ever seen.
Jesse and self worth
I love that one of Jesse's biggest weaknesses is his fundamental need for approval. I guess I really relate to that (though thankfully I have never devalued myself the way Jesse devalues himself). He wants other people to affirm that he is worthwhile, because he doesn't think he is. That's why I get so happy whenever he starts to stand up for himself, [Spoiler (click to open)]even when he does that by being awesome at making meth. I never thought I'd cheer for someone making a good batch of meth, but I've done it at least twice for Jesse.. If only he could find someone who would help him find value in his best traits, and not through the drug trade.
Jesse admits to his own faults
I love it when morally ambiguous characters look their own failings straight in the face, and Jesse when Jesse does it, he does it better than anyone. [Spoiler (click to open)]"I'm the bad guy". The fucking problem dog monologue, which is one of the single best scenes I've ever seen. Mindblowing scenes are mind blowing.
Aaron Paul's acting
As well written as Jesse is, Aaron Paul absolutely makes the character. All of the things I just mentioned would amount to nothing if Aaron Paul couldn't pull off Jesse's emotional ups and downs with such incredible nuance and believability. His performance is riveting, always. It's easy to see why the writers originally thought of Jesse as expendable - he was supposed to die in Season 1 - and it's equally easy to see why after only two episodes of watching Aaron play the part they realized that getting rid of him would be a gigantic mistake. Because it would have been. Jesse and Walter's relationship MAKES Breaking Bad. (Jesse and Walter's relationship is amazing, and probably deserves it's own post, which I will probably never bother making, but man is it good.) I really think that, overall, Aaron Paul gives one of the all time great television performances in this role (as does Bryan Cranston as Walter).
Okay. Feelings over. The end.
And for those who don't care about my ramblings, here's a picture of his face. Because, FACE.
A) Part of the reason I haven't been posting is I've finally gotten the hang of Tumblr, so I'm starting to spend more time there (just like the rest of the world, except like two years late). If we aren't yet friends over there, we should be! I'm agnesbean there (~creative~, I know) -- let me know who you are!
B) In the last month or so I marathoned all of Breaking Bad. Which is generally pretty great, especially in Seasons 3 and 4. I'm not sure if I'd rank it up there with the Best Shows Ever the way a lot of people do, but it's one of the best things on right now, no question. And the ACTING is definitely some of the best I've ever seen, not just on TV, but anywhere. Now I get why Bryan Cranston has won all of the Emmys.
But as much as I like Breaking Bad in general, most of my feelings about the show are all about one Mr. Jesse Pinkman, who has taken my heart and run the fuck away with it. (I know I'll probably have someone else I'm obsessing over by next March, but right now I really want to stan him during Fandom March Madness next year if BB is an option again).
And so, while I'm not sure if anyone but nicole_anell will care, I am going to spout some feelings all over the place, because HE IS AMAZING, and the MOST FLAWED, and HEARTBREAKING, and the BEST ACTED, and just generally OMG character I have come across in a while - and I've fallen in love with a number of great characters in the last year. But Jesse is just...man. There's something really special about this character.
(FWIW I'll spoiler tag specific spoilers in case any non-initiates wants to read my ramblings.)
There are two character types I really like that tend to not overlap that much. One is, of course, the morally ambiguous character who means well - or, at least, does not mean active evil - but whose character flaws (often some combo of selfishness, weak will, greed/ambition) leads them to doing some really terrible things. Gaius Baltar, Topher Brink, Mitchell on Being Human (in a Vampire-y way), etc. Love, love, love.
On the flip side, I also really, really like sweet beta males whose strength comes from their loyalty (often to a strong women, sometimes to a friend or group) and kindness. Wash, Rory Williams, Troy Barnes, Oz, Andy on Parks and Rec, Peeta, etc. etc. These characters are normally on the "good" side of things, they're normally devoted to the heroes, and so they're normally not all that morally ambiguous (certainly not on the scale of what I find acceptable and intriguing in characters, where some of my favorites ever include "I pushed a child out of a window" Jaime Lannister and "was an evil vampire for a century" Spike).
Jesse? He manages to be both. A large part of that is because his loyalty ends up going to Walter, and literally the entire concept behind the show is to map out Walter's descent into villainy. Unlike so many other beta male types, Jesse is not devoted to the good guy. But his moral ambiguity started even before that - he's a meth dealer from day one, after all. You don't get there by making particularly moral life choices.
And yet. And YET. I challenge you to find me a character that has a gentler soul at their very core. It's that tension between his truly good heart and the truly bad things he does - things fueled by his addiction, his greed, his self loathing, his misguided faith in Walter - that makes Jesse so fascinating, so beautiful, and so goddamned heartbreaking. Because he's definitely heartbreaking. I mean, the kid can rip my heart out of my chest and tear it into a million pieces just by setting the table for a family dinner. I can't even with him.
Some specific things:
Jesse and kids
Whoever came up with the idea that Jesse is amazing with kids was genius, because I swear this single character trait is a good 50% of what makes him so great. I normally don't care one way or the other if a character is good with kids, but the way Jesse transforms around them is incredible. He becomes so soft, so protective, so genuine. All of his walls just fall away, and you can tell he cares so much, whether it's his own brother or some random child he just met. He's a slacker junkie dealer, but around children you really see his potential to be so much more. It kills me every time.
Jesse's reaction to death
From the very beginning, Jesse is voluntarily part of a dangerous business, and yet he is fundamentally not okay with death in a way that is very rare for characters on shows like this. (Which is apparently a character trait I like - Nolan Ross, another recent favorite, is rather the same way.) So many characters I like live in worlds full of violence and therefore become if not immune, than at least used to it. Either the violence is against bad enough people that they can justify it to themselves, or it just becomes part of their lives.
But you can tell that no matter who the violence is perpetrated against, no matter how bad they are, Jesse can't really deal, emotionally . The look on his face any time someone dies in front of him makes that heartrendingly clear. [Spoiler (click to open)]And, of course, there's his reaction to killing Gale, both in the moment and over the course of Season 4. It is the single most convincing portrayal of what it might be like for a generally moral person to kill someone else that I've ever seen.
Jesse and self worth
I love that one of Jesse's biggest weaknesses is his fundamental need for approval. I guess I really relate to that (though thankfully I have never devalued myself the way Jesse devalues himself). He wants other people to affirm that he is worthwhile, because he doesn't think he is. That's why I get so happy whenever he starts to stand up for himself, [Spoiler (click to open)]even when he does that by being awesome at making meth. I never thought I'd cheer for someone making a good batch of meth, but I've done it at least twice for Jesse.. If only he could find someone who would help him find value in his best traits, and not through the drug trade.
Jesse admits to his own faults
I love it when morally ambiguous characters look their own failings straight in the face, and Jesse when Jesse does it, he does it better than anyone. [Spoiler (click to open)]"I'm the bad guy". The fucking problem dog monologue, which is one of the single best scenes I've ever seen. Mindblowing scenes are mind blowing.
Aaron Paul's acting
As well written as Jesse is, Aaron Paul absolutely makes the character. All of the things I just mentioned would amount to nothing if Aaron Paul couldn't pull off Jesse's emotional ups and downs with such incredible nuance and believability. His performance is riveting, always. It's easy to see why the writers originally thought of Jesse as expendable - he was supposed to die in Season 1 - and it's equally easy to see why after only two episodes of watching Aaron play the part they realized that getting rid of him would be a gigantic mistake. Because it would have been. Jesse and Walter's relationship MAKES Breaking Bad. (Jesse and Walter's relationship is amazing, and probably deserves it's own post, which I will probably never bother making, but man is it good.) I really think that, overall, Aaron Paul gives one of the all time great television performances in this role (as does Bryan Cranston as Walter).
Okay. Feelings over. The end.
And for those who don't care about my ramblings, here's a picture of his face. Because, FACE.