I am furious!
I definitely loved him very much and I truly wanted to spend my
life with him but I believe that what happened was a pretty big test and he
revealed himself for the pussy that he is.
I hate myself for hoping because I think I know that he is not strong enough and that he is never coming back. I am just going to have to let go. Both my parents feel that I've been spared his not being able to stand up to other things in the future. I know what they are saying is right but the memories keep flooding back and I just wish, wish with all my heart that he didn't have this character flaw. Because I know that I would have fought for him, tooth and nail.
It *is* a horrible system. However, I don't think you understand that *many* people have gotten over that system, including my own parents, who were raised very conservatively. Moreover, my own family in India is no longer following this system. I have seen 99% of Indian parents adapt. That is why I am criticizing my boyfriend. Because the odds were so much in his favour that giving in to this system IS his fault. If this were in India in 1960, I would be taking your line of attack. But this is the United States in 2003-and this is very much an individual choice-that comes down to his idiocy and determination to ruin his life (and yes, everyone thinks their exes are ruining their life but I daresay when you are doomed to marrying an undeducated girl from a foreign nation and being ruled by your parents your whole life-ruin is putting it lightly). The point is that my boyfriend is a fundamentally weak person that lives in fear of his parents and refuses to stand up to them. I am broken hearted over that fact.
this is exactly how I feel...and that was coming from an Indian person! and the only reason they didnt like her was b/c she was "too educated"!!!!!! Obviously he does not love me as much as I love him or he would fight to stay with me, but instead he is blaming his parents saying he has no choice. How could you tell someone you want to marry them and then ditch them when your parents disapprove? Telling me I am perfect and he is perfect for me! That my past boyfriends were losers and he is a real man!ALL LIES! He has been lying for so long to himself that he began to believe it, and now he thinks it is the truth. He is too stubborn to admit that he should have never brought me into this situation. No matter how much he denies it he knew this would happen, his parents stopped talking to his brother when he dated an American, so why did he think he was different? He thought everything would go away if he avoided it... and that if he didnt say yes to an arranged marriage that they wouldnt do it. Lies to himself...and lets things happen to him instead of taking control over his life.He told me to go talk to Pat and Tom his good friends but of course I will be the bad guy who "tried to get him to get rid of his family and make this hard decision"!!!!!!! HOW COULD THAT BE! I am the victim here! Pat talked to him before we met and told him that he better not hurt me and that I didn't want anything if it would end up hurting me in the end, and Sukhvir swore that he would never do such a thing. I just feel that I am the one shortchanged when it wasn't even my fault, how was I supposed to know I could not believe him and that he would screw me over like this. Hopefully Michelle will still talk to me even if Pat doesn't...My heart is broken, but I know I am better off without him, I love him more than he loves me and I need to find someone who will reciprocate my feelings. Even though I hope he will come around, I know he won't, I am glad I threw coffee on him and kicked him in the balls and slammed the car door on him... I should have done more! He still thinks that he can divorce the girl, but she is worth billions and his greedy father will never let her out of his slimy hands. He is screwing himself in the end...and screwing me now but I will continue with or without him and his stupid self.
I hate myself for hoping because I think I know that he is not strong enough and that he is never coming back. I am just going to have to let go. Both my parents feel that I've been spared his not being able to stand up to other things in the future. I know what they are saying is right but the memories keep flooding back and I just wish, wish with all my heart that he didn't have this character flaw. Because I know that I would have fought for him, tooth and nail.
It *is* a horrible system. However, I don't think you understand that *many* people have gotten over that system, including my own parents, who were raised very conservatively. Moreover, my own family in India is no longer following this system. I have seen 99% of Indian parents adapt. That is why I am criticizing my boyfriend. Because the odds were so much in his favour that giving in to this system IS his fault. If this were in India in 1960, I would be taking your line of attack. But this is the United States in 2003-and this is very much an individual choice-that comes down to his idiocy and determination to ruin his life (and yes, everyone thinks their exes are ruining their life but I daresay when you are doomed to marrying an undeducated girl from a foreign nation and being ruled by your parents your whole life-ruin is putting it lightly). The point is that my boyfriend is a fundamentally weak person that lives in fear of his parents and refuses to stand up to them. I am broken hearted over that fact.
this is exactly how I feel...and that was coming from an Indian person! and the only reason they didnt like her was b/c she was "too educated"!!!!!! Obviously he does not love me as much as I love him or he would fight to stay with me, but instead he is blaming his parents saying he has no choice. How could you tell someone you want to marry them and then ditch them when your parents disapprove? Telling me I am perfect and he is perfect for me! That my past boyfriends were losers and he is a real man!ALL LIES! He has been lying for so long to himself that he began to believe it, and now he thinks it is the truth. He is too stubborn to admit that he should have never brought me into this situation. No matter how much he denies it he knew this would happen, his parents stopped talking to his brother when he dated an American, so why did he think he was different? He thought everything would go away if he avoided it... and that if he didnt say yes to an arranged marriage that they wouldnt do it. Lies to himself...and lets things happen to him instead of taking control over his life.He told me to go talk to Pat and Tom his good friends but of course I will be the bad guy who "tried to get him to get rid of his family and make this hard decision"!!!!!!! HOW COULD THAT BE! I am the victim here! Pat talked to him before we met and told him that he better not hurt me and that I didn't want anything if it would end up hurting me in the end, and Sukhvir swore that he would never do such a thing. I just feel that I am the one shortchanged when it wasn't even my fault, how was I supposed to know I could not believe him and that he would screw me over like this. Hopefully Michelle will still talk to me even if Pat doesn't...My heart is broken, but I know I am better off without him, I love him more than he loves me and I need to find someone who will reciprocate my feelings. Even though I hope he will come around, I know he won't, I am glad I threw coffee on him and kicked him in the balls and slammed the car door on him... I should have done more! He still thinks that he can divorce the girl, but she is worth billions and his greedy father will never let her out of his slimy hands. He is screwing himself in the end...and screwing me now but I will continue with or without him and his stupid self.