A Reason to Live
After being healed and not eating for hours, Kim's mind might have been troubled, but she had no choice in whether or not she'd sleep.
Her dreams are destruction, death, ruin - blood staining her fingers, her teacher petting her hair, telling her that she's an excellent student. But no visitations.
A sharp pain wakes her, she breathes through it, but part of her welcomes the sensation. A constant reminder of where she is and what she's lost. Her stomach growls, but she doesn't think she can eat anything.
Even moving is beyond her ability right now, but she realizes that the shield is gone, she could reach out to the Source now, if she wanted to. But so many of her memories and her feelings have been twisted, tainted, simple lessons not lessons at all but preparation - training - molding...
Good Channelers would not make deals with the Forsaken. They'd die first. Moiraine would never give in...
'Evil teachers make evil students...need to save them...had no choice and no control'
She turns over to find a note on the bed, reading it and feeling a chill go through her body.
To the Dreadlord Ma'alal:
I have sent a note to Ishamael. Please stay within his care and do not cause a ruckus over the matter. Arrangements will be made for the transfer of you to my care.
Your master, Asmodean
She looks down at her wrists, it would easy to slice them with a small sword of power, a sharp surface, her own teeth if necessary. But, she is tied to the Shadow now, if not physically, then by association, and even death won't let her see her family again. Forever trapped.
The numbness of last night is a memory as the cruel facts of the rest of her (immortal) life come into focus.
'At least Nita will be safe'
The horror of what happened to Nita, to save her own life, floods back and she closes her eyes but it's no use, she can't stop seeing Ishamael's face.
All at once a new reason to live fills her, a wave of loathing, a desire to see him dead. Her teacher dead. Them all gone. And no matter what she has to do, no matter what tasks Asmodean sets out, she'll do them, because some day she'll watch them die - and even if she doesn't feel anything, there will be justice.
If love and comfort and forgiveness are forever beyond her, she'll focus on the only thing left for her: revenge.
Her dreams are destruction, death, ruin - blood staining her fingers, her teacher petting her hair, telling her that she's an excellent student. But no visitations.
A sharp pain wakes her, she breathes through it, but part of her welcomes the sensation. A constant reminder of where she is and what she's lost. Her stomach growls, but she doesn't think she can eat anything.
Even moving is beyond her ability right now, but she realizes that the shield is gone, she could reach out to the Source now, if she wanted to. But so many of her memories and her feelings have been twisted, tainted, simple lessons not lessons at all but preparation - training - molding...
Good Channelers would not make deals with the Forsaken. They'd die first. Moiraine would never give in...
'Evil teachers make evil students...need to save them...had no choice and no control'
She turns over to find a note on the bed, reading it and feeling a chill go through her body.
To the Dreadlord Ma'alal:
I have sent a note to Ishamael. Please stay within his care and do not cause a ruckus over the matter. Arrangements will be made for the transfer of you to my care.
Your master, Asmodean
She looks down at her wrists, it would easy to slice them with a small sword of power, a sharp surface, her own teeth if necessary. But, she is tied to the Shadow now, if not physically, then by association, and even death won't let her see her family again. Forever trapped.
The numbness of last night is a memory as the cruel facts of the rest of her (immortal) life come into focus.
'At least Nita will be safe'
The horror of what happened to Nita, to save her own life, floods back and she closes her eyes but it's no use, she can't stop seeing Ishamael's face.
All at once a new reason to live fills her, a wave of loathing, a desire to see him dead. Her teacher dead. Them all gone. And no matter what she has to do, no matter what tasks Asmodean sets out, she'll do them, because some day she'll watch them die - and even if she doesn't feel anything, there will be justice.
If love and comfort and forgiveness are forever beyond her, she'll focus on the only thing left for her: revenge.