Even though Ben and Alex are played by the same man in my head, they are two very different characters. Alex does run-on sentences when he's stressed. Ben does fragments.
REMEMBER THIS.
I've punched up the scene that's been giving me fits. Split a lot of sentences. And I did it in a separate doc in case it sucked. I don't think it sucks, I think it's vastly improved.
That being said, I'm still not sure I'm pulling this off. I'm trying to tell myself that there's such a thing as Hesitation Marks and that counting down to doing the deed is probably a pretty normal process, but I don't actually know and I'm afraid of Getting It Wrong and I'm also afraid the emotions aren't there (remember, I suck at emotion) and OMGAAAH. Because he's being really cold and methodical about this, so I'm not sure the countdown works, unless it's part of the methodicalness (is that a word? Firefox thinks it is), and I need the countdown so I can plausibly interrupt him and did I say OMGAAAAAAH already?
I thought this writing thing was supposed to be Fun.