(no subject)
It's a little weird to think back to a year or two ago and take a look at where i was and where i was headed...and then, i had no clue id end up here. i had no idea id see and experience the things that i have. It seems that latley the whole "growing up" experience has been making me think alot. Like Luke is kinda sorta married haha, and having a fucking kid and Jamie Winn (my ex in houston) is getting married in may, Derek is having ANOTHER kid and just got maried. Im heading off to the military (which is something i never saw coming). Kelly is Graduating college and moving to virgina. Like everyones getting on with there lives. Those days when the only thing that matters was going to school, getting a decent grade on your test so your parents didnt yell at you and getting out of school to go hang out with you friends all night or maybe a boyfriend or girlfriend are all so far in the past. The idea of growing up fills me with such an accomplished feeling. but at the very same time its scary and deressing as hell. i hae the idea that i may not ever get those days back again. the mentality of being care-free is something of the past and im afraid that its out of reach. And like i said i feel a mixture of accomplishing and depressing thoughts.
Speaking of growing up, im starting to feel that im ready for a marriage when i meet someone worth while. and i think that when you're young being scared of marriage and long term commitment comes from the idea that you dont EXACTLY know where you're headed and cant garuntee you could support a wife and children if need be. But i feel that with my new found career that im ready both finacially and mentally. now i just have to meet a good girl that i could fall in love with a be okay with spending the rest of my life with. I feel that with the military comes growing up faster. the lifestyle pushes people to grow up faster than they would on their own. and i think that its having that very affect on me now.
I think the thing i love about the military is that i dont know whats next, and while with most things in my life thats a negitive thing...this time its a positive. I just feel that as long as im headed in a positive direction thats all that really matters. usuallu i hate not knowing whats next because it could usually go both ways...negitive and positive directions. Shit i PLAN on spending 20 years in the Navy, but who knows i could want to get out after i do my 5 years and work in a hospital. OR i could not like the medical feild and transfer to another field. But im gonna do my best to stick with the medical feild. I could End up living in Europe some place or i could never leave the U.S., but of course if i had it my way id live in Europe and if my "dream sheet" goes through then i will be living over there.I just hope that if im with someone then or married that she would be willing to relocate with me. Otherwise it'd cause monumetal problems.
It'll be weird to take a look at my self 5 years down the road and see all that ive seen and accomplished. To see what car im driving, see where im living and see who im waking up to every morning IF anyone. Im extremely excited to see where things lead me and where i end up and who i end up there with. only time will tell...
Speaking of growing up, im starting to feel that im ready for a marriage when i meet someone worth while. and i think that when you're young being scared of marriage and long term commitment comes from the idea that you dont EXACTLY know where you're headed and cant garuntee you could support a wife and children if need be. But i feel that with my new found career that im ready both finacially and mentally. now i just have to meet a good girl that i could fall in love with a be okay with spending the rest of my life with. I feel that with the military comes growing up faster. the lifestyle pushes people to grow up faster than they would on their own. and i think that its having that very affect on me now.
I think the thing i love about the military is that i dont know whats next, and while with most things in my life thats a negitive thing...this time its a positive. I just feel that as long as im headed in a positive direction thats all that really matters. usuallu i hate not knowing whats next because it could usually go both ways...negitive and positive directions. Shit i PLAN on spending 20 years in the Navy, but who knows i could want to get out after i do my 5 years and work in a hospital. OR i could not like the medical feild and transfer to another field. But im gonna do my best to stick with the medical feild. I could End up living in Europe some place or i could never leave the U.S., but of course if i had it my way id live in Europe and if my "dream sheet" goes through then i will be living over there.I just hope that if im with someone then or married that she would be willing to relocate with me. Otherwise it'd cause monumetal problems.
It'll be weird to take a look at my self 5 years down the road and see all that ive seen and accomplished. To see what car im driving, see where im living and see who im waking up to every morning IF anyone. Im extremely excited to see where things lead me and where i end up and who i end up there with. only time will tell...