more than fine...more than i'm just getting by
“You know what I’ve discovered…we aren’t ordinary. People don’t get ‘stuck’ in jobs - they decide to stay there even if they’re unhappy. We don’t do that - we don’t settle. We decide we’re going to be happy because we decide to do something about it.”
"You know what - every week a ridiculous amount of money gets deducted from my paycheck to pay for insurance for things people are afraid will happen. Medical insurance, car insurance, life insurance, house insurance. But there's no insurance for the thing I'm most afraid of - growing old alone and unhappy."
-the wisdom of Ms. Krista Anderson
(P.S. You should write a book.)
This is why I love my best friend.
Until this date, there had only really been one person - Krista - who ever REALLY called me out on something when it was completely unsolicited. Krista tells me up front when I need to possibly examine my actions or motives more clearly before proceeding. What’s more, when I tell her something I’ve done wrong, she never judges, but always puts herself in my same place and admits to being a sinner in many ways herself - and then encourages me to pick myself up and begin again, with a fresh start. We never, ever get sick of the promise of friendship mantra number six - ‘change IS possible.’ My friendship with Krista is the most sustaining and fulfilling friendship I’ve ever had, even though the vast majority of it has been by phone for the past 4 years.
I’ve had other good friends that have told me what I’m doing wrong or not doing when I’ve specifically asked them, but the kind of friend that will call you out on something completely voluntarily is a rare treasure. That’s the kind of friend I desire most - the kind of friend that comes to you in absolute love and concern for you and lets you know that they want BETTER for you that what you’re currently choosing to accept. Those friendships are truly selfless; the kind of friendship that longs for something better, something extraordinary for someone other than yourself. It takes give and take - the ability to listen and also the ability to take criticism or suggestion when given in love. To get over your pride and realize that you have much room to grow, and that your friend sees so much for you.
So last night, Jaime called me out - kindly and with love, and also with some hesitance - on something that I’ve been knowingly doing wrong for awhile now. For whatever reason, I just…hadn’t really been making church much of a priority. While in College Station, sure - I mean, who wouldn’t want to watch their cute boyfriend sing and play guitar for an hour while attending a church that is close by? Of course, this is NOT NOT NOT why I went to church, but all I’m saying is that it was easy while I was there. But since I’ve been home, I haven’t really made it much of a priority; I guess the last time I actually went to church was - wow, I don’t think I realized - was June 10th. And it definitely wasn’t because I was unable to go to church for whatever reason. I told Jaime that it’s the kind of thing that no one really notices, and moreover, no one in College Station would probably call me out on, since I don’t really run in those hyper-Christian circles.
But Jaime did.
He told me how important it was - how absolutely crucial it is to be fed every week. How, if we really intend to make disciples of all nations, we absolutely have to gather together with our brothers and sisters and worship and become strengthened. And it had been bothering him for awhile.
This is one reason why I know our relationship is great - we’re able to come to each other and want better for each other. And we want to encourage and grow with each other. That’s how I know I’m with a good man.
In other news, I find it somewhat ironic that a mom - whose son is accused of killing his former girlfriend and unborn baby - can say, "It's very hard to accept. A lot of people are looking at him like a bad person, but he's not, he really isn't." I wonder how hard that must be for her, but at the same time - WOW. I can tell you one thing - that sure was one BAD decision.