I know this sounds weird...
I think I have seasonal depression. In the summer.
call me crazy (no pun intended) but I think theres a reason why I'm so miserable and nothing makes me feel content. I cant read, i cant play my guitar, I can't paint (for very long), and i can't go out with friends before i lose the drive to finish DOING any of those things. I get all dressed up to go out, and sometimes i realize it before i walk out the front door, sometimes I realize it when i get to my destination...I don't feel like doing anything.
Showering is even an effort, if you can believe that. It's like, i dont care because i dont wanna look nice.
I go to exercise, and my leg hurts so bad that it puts a damper on trying to do anything. I go to the doctors for the leg, they tell me nothing's wrong.
And the computer. I check the computer and my cell phone for signs of life from the people i want to hear from CONSTANTLY and am consistently LET DOWN because everyone has a life.
On top of everything else, I'm SO unhappy at home, but i can't go anywhere because that requires driving, and driving requires gas, and gas requires MONEY (the root of all evil) and i have none.
I can't wait to start working so i'll have a life. Not that i feel like a job will solve all of this, but at least i take some sort of pride in working hard. And it will get me out of the house.
I dont know what else to say. I'm seriously not happy though. Very little does it for me. Maybe I'm at a low point right now...I'm not with my friends, my mom is too busy to talk to me, my dad makes my skin crawl, and I hate being alone.
Maybe there's just something missing.
I know i said i can wait for graduation and i shouldn't be counting down the days, but to think that in a year i'll be living on my own. That would be nice.
call me crazy (no pun intended) but I think theres a reason why I'm so miserable and nothing makes me feel content. I cant read, i cant play my guitar, I can't paint (for very long), and i can't go out with friends before i lose the drive to finish DOING any of those things. I get all dressed up to go out, and sometimes i realize it before i walk out the front door, sometimes I realize it when i get to my destination...I don't feel like doing anything.
Showering is even an effort, if you can believe that. It's like, i dont care because i dont wanna look nice.
I go to exercise, and my leg hurts so bad that it puts a damper on trying to do anything. I go to the doctors for the leg, they tell me nothing's wrong.
And the computer. I check the computer and my cell phone for signs of life from the people i want to hear from CONSTANTLY and am consistently LET DOWN because everyone has a life.
On top of everything else, I'm SO unhappy at home, but i can't go anywhere because that requires driving, and driving requires gas, and gas requires MONEY (the root of all evil) and i have none.
I can't wait to start working so i'll have a life. Not that i feel like a job will solve all of this, but at least i take some sort of pride in working hard. And it will get me out of the house.
I dont know what else to say. I'm seriously not happy though. Very little does it for me. Maybe I'm at a low point right now...I'm not with my friends, my mom is too busy to talk to me, my dad makes my skin crawl, and I hate being alone.
Maybe there's just something missing.
I know i said i can wait for graduation and i shouldn't be counting down the days, but to think that in a year i'll be living on my own. That would be nice.