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[ageofscience]

Why do people have to be so hateful? There is so much sadness in the world and we all go through more than enough adversity from day to day. The least we can do is show kindness to the people in our lives, am I right? It seems to me that a crucial part of making the world a nicer place to live is to love, respect, and treasure the people around us

Comments

[born_against]

One way that helps me be more patient with people is to assume that they are doing there best at being kind, but for reasons that I will never understand, because I will never be them are too hurt or afraid to show love. Most mean people are just hurt people. I would like to assume anyways :)

[makeit_hot]

agreed.

being kind also means being understanding & non-judgmental of people whose actions you don't understand. i think your heart is in the right place, but announcing your gesture in this manner seems kind of ostentatious? this entry is seems so sweet & moral but there's this weird underlying righteous tone.

not that i don't have my own shortcomings - i can be mean as all hell. hopefully this comment isn't coming across that way though, it just sort of irks me that you're comparing yourself to all those "mean-spirited" folks in such an angelic, pretentious way.

[ageofscience]

As I said to Amanda, while I think that mean=spiritedness can certainly be explained by a variety of factors, I think there are very few situations where there are legitimate excuses for it. We've all been hurt at one point or another, but whether we channel those feelings into positive changes for ourselves or passing the hurt along is a choice we each make. I don't know the individual circumstances of every person, but I do know what it feels like to be hurt, and I know it's not fun

[makeit_hot]

i don't think saying "i wish people were nicer to each other" is judgmental at all. i think it's that coupled with the dog&pony show of "look how above it all i am!" that does it. it seems more self-serving than "we are the world, we are the children"-ish, you know? can you honestly reread what you wrote & say it doesn't sound righteous? maybe i'm just horribly cynical (actually, i know i am) & i am trying to guess at the motivation behind this entry, but it seems like a passive-aggressive stab at whoever it is you're trying to address. i'm not saying you had an ulterior motive in crafting valentines, i just think there was an ulterior motive to this post.

or, maybe i just think that you think i am a big fat meanie meankins, & this is directed straight at me, thus the passive-aggressive comment above. & maybe i think you are being hypocritical by addressing it in this manner rather than speaking directly to me about it. MAYBE I AM LOCO!!!! maybe i just desperately wanted to reference "we are the world! we are the children!"

[ageofscience]

I'm still very confused by where this is coming from. Maybe you can clarify how you got the impression, from that, that this was directed at you

[ageofscience]

Also my grammar was atrocious in the above comment :( Sowwy.

[makeit_hot]

well maybe i can ask you what you were specifically referring to when you said:

For example, as of late I have noticed that lots of people have Foucault on the brain and lots of people seem to be in the spirit of wanting to better themselves. Lately I have also noticed an inordinate amount of character assassination and mean-spiritedness. Certainly, we all have brief moments of aggravation in which we complain and say disparaging things, but when it is incessant or unprovoked, that’s not okay. I am so tired of people thinking that it's fine to belittle others if it makes them feel better about their own shortcomings. We all have good qualities and not so good qualities, because that's just the way people are.

since i have been posting about what a foul mood i've been in lately/got called on belittling a coworker & told you about it, i felt this was a shot right at me.

[ageofscience]

Well, I have a four pronged answer to that particular passage. I like lists today.

1. It certainly had nothing to do with you positing about any of that! I would be a very sad person if I a) took the internet so seriously b) took someone else posting something unrelated to me on the internet so seriously that I went out of my way to publicly disparage them!
2. I only mentioned the happening in many circumstances thing because thinking about how similar things seem to happen to so many different people at the exact same time is something I've been thinking about.
3. By extension of #2, I wasn't really specifically referring to anything but just general tendencies I've been aware of recently.
4. There are certain events that may have prompted me more than others but I'd rather not discuss them publicly on le internet.

Also, I gave Elly treats and she settled down for a bit, but now she is crying and scratching frantically at your bed?

[ageofscience]

Pee ess! Elly is running around mewing very sadly and I don't know what to do or what's wrong :( Should I give her some treats or something?

[makeit_hot]

is the closet door closed again? she might want to pee & can't get in. try giving her some treats. she might just be lonely. i'll be home soon.

[ageofscience]

Closet is wide open! I've been petting her for a long time and she keeps crying and pacing around :( I will try treats.

[makeit_hot]

i dont know then, i hope she is ok. maybe she is alerting you to danger?

[ageofscience]

Hmmm, she was pacing near the door for a bit. Maybe she has secret Lassie-like alerting skills?

[ageofscience]

Amanda, you are the shiningest example of patience and kindness that ever was!

Most mean people are just hurt peopleI absolutely agree! Even if it sounds terribly naive, I really do think that people are naturally loving, generous and kind (just look at little children!), but that they learn to be judgemental or mean as a defense when bad things happen to them. I always keep that in the back of my mind, but at the same time, while it offers a good explanation for the motive, I certainly don't think it excuses the action