It's my first whole-out, irrational, shit-kicking RANT
Ok, you know what? Evil wins. Have I been living in a FUCKING BUBBLE? How can I be so surprised at any of this? I'm horrified - mostly at myself for not being prepared for it (which is the worst part.)
I've been compulsively keeping up with the city_glitter posts - I don't know why. They depress me. They make me afraid to walk the streets. And yet, I can't stop poking at the wound. Well I know why... I just really wanted to know 'why' (curiosity about human nature more than anything) - and I'm horrified on so many levels at my fellow human beings. However, I think I'm finally done with it as someone eventually posted a link to a discussion elsewhere by people who truly know what's going on and it turns out it was simply a petty ploy for attention from a specific person... Stalking, if you will. I won't bore you with the details as frankly, I'm done with it and have moved on to far worse horrors...
Somewhere along the line during this whole spectacle I was referred over to drama_awesome. Ok, I thought - I could use a laugh at stupid people going off on stupid things - something petty and not as devastating as CG. But that's not what this board is all about - No. There are evil, sick people in the world and I feel sure now that they will 'win' because people sure seem to like it. Most of the recent posts on this board are pretty bad, but it's this one that SCARES ME TO DEATH. Read all the posts - read them very carefully. Do this BEFORE you do what I did and read the 'news story' and the message board(s) in question. It's very, very convincing - I am a cynical and distrusting person and I really DID NOT GET IT. I say this in all seriousness: Right now, I would rather have the incident to actually have happened than live with the reality that people are out there behaving this way. I’m amazed to find I understand insane killers better than people who create hoaxes like this.
Everyone gets to hear this part...
Live your lives with INTEGRITY. Treat people with RESPECT & COMPASSION. You are allowed to be human within those parameters - you may make mistakes, do stupid things, hurt people unintentionally, etc. Don't you dare call me crazy - people can live this way. I live this way. Most of the people in my life I interact with live this way. You are the crazy one if you think it's impossible. And if you genuinely think that manipulating people in harmful, devastating ways is acceptable - for WHATEVER reason (boredom, drama, attention, etc.) - I'm still too human to find the amount of compassion needed to allow you to share my space.
Why can’t I remember the 'happy place' you all brought me to last week??? Why can't I crawl out of this pit of bile? I'm not just slamming this out to vent - it's really a big issue for me. And I feel dirty for expressing it - I consider it a personal failure that I hit the 'post' button on this entry - I'm supposed to see the good and let go of the bad. But the filth I've been wallowing in for the past few days has taken it's toll on me. Fuck you too, Universe - I think we should 'see other people' for a while...
Disclaimer: I have been ill, fatigued, stressed out beyond norm, and generally too busy for over two weeks now. I promise you - I will regret the fit of pique above in the morning - it's the fatigue speaking.