paint a self portrait
I'd like to make a big ole LJ post about the state of my life. Considering everything that's happened in the last six months I could use it just to get things straight in my own head. Instead I'm going to make a few short points and hope that gives me the methadone rush of catharsis without having to spike my vein for a full blown emo-kid blowout.
1) Life is mostly good.
I have a loving girlfriend who I've come thru trials with and found a stronger emotional bond with then ever before. I'm going to have an associates degree by this time next year. I'm going to Dragon Con. My roommates all rock. Things that suck are not being able to find a job and having my primary computer broke. Even still these are not bad. I'd scraping by for the time being and I don't miss my computer as much as I miss drawing comics. Good lord I love drawing Sidequests comics.
2) I've lost some friends.
Jerry and I have been on a downward slide for a long time now and I finally had to be the one to put the axe to it since he wouldn't. I just threw out the three letters he wrote me from prison today. He hasn't sent a word since I told him how I felt about his need to constantly 1UP me over the years. Of course I've seen the SOP when someone leaves that circle so I'm not surprised at what happened next. With Jerry leaving my life so left a handful of other people. Some out of a misguided sense of loyalty and others because they were only masquerading as friends to begin with. I'm thankful these people have shown themselves, however passively, for who they are. It's the ones that wear a mask of friendship while looking down their nose at me that I've been exorcising after all. I should have cleaned house after Charlie Weichec, but I'm soft. Travis is happy in Michigan with his family. I'm glad since that's what brought me back to Buffalo, but sad because I doubt I'll see him again. Keith is likewise taken from my life not by tragedy, but success.
3) I've gained some friends.
In addition to Ava, my lover and my best friend, I've gained some new friends in the last year. Kaela, Naya, RT, and Jade to name a few and the rediscovery of old friends like Jason Joyce and others from high school. They all fit in these very comfortable niches next to old friend like John and JB. Heh, strange to call them old friends, but they are now aren't they? Still more people like Adam and Kenny filter in thru my life by association. You never know which ones will just be stopping in for a few bread crumbs before flying south for the winter and which ones will make a nest and stay in your life forever. Only time tells, but while the general theme of the last few months has been losing friends I feel more like I've just burned off the chaff. The friends who are still around are stronger and shine brighter now that the weeds are have been pulled. Self pulling weeds most of them.
I look back with a sense of accomplishment and look forward with hope. It's not all roses, but it's far from being all thorns. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go play Batman Arkham Asylum because I've got a new Summer class starting up this morning and, though I may be almost 29 years old, I still can't sleep the night before.
To all my friends, thank you for your support. To everyone else, why the fuck are you spying on the journal of someone you don't even like? Get a fucking life.
;)
1) Life is mostly good.
I have a loving girlfriend who I've come thru trials with and found a stronger emotional bond with then ever before. I'm going to have an associates degree by this time next year. I'm going to Dragon Con. My roommates all rock. Things that suck are not being able to find a job and having my primary computer broke. Even still these are not bad. I'd scraping by for the time being and I don't miss my computer as much as I miss drawing comics. Good lord I love drawing Sidequests comics.
2) I've lost some friends.
Jerry and I have been on a downward slide for a long time now and I finally had to be the one to put the axe to it since he wouldn't. I just threw out the three letters he wrote me from prison today. He hasn't sent a word since I told him how I felt about his need to constantly 1UP me over the years. Of course I've seen the SOP when someone leaves that circle so I'm not surprised at what happened next. With Jerry leaving my life so left a handful of other people. Some out of a misguided sense of loyalty and others because they were only masquerading as friends to begin with. I'm thankful these people have shown themselves, however passively, for who they are. It's the ones that wear a mask of friendship while looking down their nose at me that I've been exorcising after all. I should have cleaned house after Charlie Weichec, but I'm soft. Travis is happy in Michigan with his family. I'm glad since that's what brought me back to Buffalo, but sad because I doubt I'll see him again. Keith is likewise taken from my life not by tragedy, but success.
3) I've gained some friends.
In addition to Ava, my lover and my best friend, I've gained some new friends in the last year. Kaela, Naya, RT, and Jade to name a few and the rediscovery of old friends like Jason Joyce and others from high school. They all fit in these very comfortable niches next to old friend like John and JB. Heh, strange to call them old friends, but they are now aren't they? Still more people like Adam and Kenny filter in thru my life by association. You never know which ones will just be stopping in for a few bread crumbs before flying south for the winter and which ones will make a nest and stay in your life forever. Only time tells, but while the general theme of the last few months has been losing friends I feel more like I've just burned off the chaff. The friends who are still around are stronger and shine brighter now that the weeds are have been pulled. Self pulling weeds most of them.
I look back with a sense of accomplishment and look forward with hope. It's not all roses, but it's far from being all thorns. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go play Batman Arkham Asylum because I've got a new Summer class starting up this morning and, though I may be almost 29 years old, I still can't sleep the night before.
To all my friends, thank you for your support. To everyone else, why the fuck are you spying on the journal of someone you don't even like? Get a fucking life.
;)