EUNHAE FIC: Sleepless - Chapter 3
Title: Sleepless
Author: ageneshi
Pairing: Eunhyuk / Donghae
Summary: Why am I even like this? Why am I even so bothered about Hyukie? But seeing his face that moment when he was asking me if I loved him, that’s what bothers me the most.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I want them so so so baaaaad. D:
A/N: Aaaaaagggggghhhhh! I am so sorry for updating so late! >.<
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
EUNHYUK’S POV
My brain is exploding, my world is crashing, and my heart is aching. What’s next? So now, I’ve decided to forget everything I feel about Hae. I know that it will not be an easy thing to do. But what the heck, if I continue like this… I don’t know what will happen to me anymore. I just couldn’t bare this pain I feel inside anymore! So I just better stop. I know I didn’t confess to Hae. But what if I did confess? I can foretell what his answer will be. ‘Hyukie, I m sorry but I love Kibum.’ That, I cannot handle. I’m not strong enough to take such kind of pain. I don’t want to be hurt like this. I need an anti-love potion. I just want this to end. And it will start ending right now. I will try. I can do this… right? I’ll just sleep this foolishness. Maybe in the morning everything will be okay. I hope.
DONGHAE’S POV (A MIRROR OF HYUKIE’S POV IN CHAPTER 2)
I panicked the moment he asked me if I loved him. To be exact, I wasn’t sure of what I feel for him. But, I did answer right, right? Or… did I not? I don’t know. We’re best friends, so I love him like that. I love him like everyone else does.
He seemed so down these days, he’s not even talking to me. The other day, I was so frantic to see him so I hugged him and smiled at him. But I just got a straight face as a response. And then yesterday, I was asking him a favor to teach me some dance steps that I couldn’t get and he just shook his head saying no. He appears to be avoiding me. What’s up with him? But when he’s around, my heart wants to jump out of my chest. I feel tensed when he’s near. Why is it like that? I don’t really understand. I want to talk to him, but I know I’ll just turn out speechless. Besides, I don’t have anything to say. I wonder if we’ll be like this everyday. I mean, how long is he going to be cold to me? I don’t like him treating me that way.
When he and Teukie hyung arrived for dinner this evening, he seemed to be out of this world. He doesn’t talk, he’s spacing out, and he looks lifeless. Gaaaaaah, I wanna know what’s wrong with him. But hyung said to leave him alone because he’s tired. So I didn’t have any chances to talk and go near him.
I was even frightened when Teukie hyung asked me about the other night. It would be so embarrassing in front of everybody if I told him that I was up all night because of Hyukie. Plus, Hyukie was there in front of me, that would be too awkward if he heard my explanation to Teukie hyung. So I made an excuse that I miss Kibum. I was thinking of Kibum, yes, because I miss him. But I was thinking about Hyukie more and I don’t even know why he was storming my mind all of a sudden.
Why am I even like this? Why am I even so bothered about Hyukie? But seeing his face that moment when he was asking me if I loved him, that’s what bothers me the most.
I went outside my room, without even knowing that I was in front of his door. But I saw the clock and didn’t realize that it was friggin 12:25 am already. He must be sleeping by this time. Sigh. I badly wanted to talk to him. So I just went to the dinning area and think. Think of sentences I will be saying to Hyukie the morning he wakes up. But then Jungsoo hyung came out of nowhere and started asking me again.
“Really now, Hae, what is bugging you? You should be sleeping by now.” He lifted the chair and occupied the seat opposite mine.
“I can’t sleep hyung.”
“Again? What’s wrong? Tell me.” He said, with a worried look on his face.
“H… H-Hyukie.”
“Why? What happened?”
“I don’t know myself hyuuuuuuuunngggg! Everything right now in my head is just messed up!” I complained like a psycho.
“What is happening to you? If this is about him acting like that earlier, I bet that he’s just exhausted that’s why. You worry too much.”
“No, hyung, I know there’s something going on with him. I want to ask him if he’s having any troubles but he’s avoiding me for some reason. I… I-I’m confused. I feel nervous and different around Hyukie.” I was searching for some answers.
“What is going on with you really? You feel nervous, different and you worry so much about him. That just means one thing. You like him more than a best friend. I think you love him Hae.” Is he serious?
“Uh, he is special to me, yes. I love him, but I don’t know if… what kind of love I feel towards him.” I’m in the middle of confusion.
“Well I think you like him very much. But in a different way. Not as a friend I mean. Look Hae, I’ll tell you something important. There are three simple rules. One, if you do not go after what you want, you’ll never have it. Two, if you do not ask, the answer will always be a no. Three, if you do not step forward, you’ll always be in the same place. Learn to take risks and see where your brave heart can take you. ” He was actually giving me an advice like a mom.
“Where did you get that?” I know he is talkative but I doubt that what he said was from him.
“Why are you like that? I’m here giving you an advice. Take it.”
“I miss him. I can’t take it any longer.”
“Just tell him already. Aish~ You’re only making it hard for yourself.” He patted my shoulder.
“Thank you hyung.” I was grateful.
“Come on now, let’s go back to sleep. Tell him tomorrow when you have a chance.”
I will. Now everything’s clearer. I must tell Hyukjae what I really feel. But, what if he doesn’t feel the same way? That would break my heart. That would be a nightmare if this craziness is just a dream. But I will try. Everything will come out just fine. I hope.
THE NEXT DAY
2:16 am
I haven’t seen him today. I did not see him this morning. I didn’t see him arrive the dorm. Also when it was time for dinner. Totally clueless on what he’s up to. I tried to phone him, but my thumb just keep pressing the end button before his phone could ring. I am just oh so nervous. Besides, if I’m going to tell him, it should be personal. Ugh, man, I was ready for this. I’m ready to tell him I love him, no, not as his best friend. But more than that.
I found myself again in front of his room. Just looking for my luck if he’s still awake. Yet I couldn’t get a grip of the door knob. I am such a coward. I hate this part of me. I was about to turn around when a voice startled me death.
“What are you doing?!”
Then I recognize whose voice was that.
“I-I-I was just wondering if you’re still awake.”
“Well, I am. You need something?” I swear the way he talks to me is cold.
“Where have you been? I was waiting for you.” I’m so ready for this.
“Just getting some fresh air outside. Soul searching. Why are you even waiting for me? Go to sleep.”
“I need to tell you something.” I said those words while I was fidgeting in front of him.
He passed by me grabbing the door knob of his room. “Let’s talk tomorrow, I’m tired.”
Before he could enter the room, I grasp his wrist and told him, “I love you.” I don’t know, it came out of my mouth impulsively. All I know is, I need to tell him right away.
He was just staring at me with a stunned face. Five seconds of silence, awkwardness, and heart racing sounds.
“Hyukie, did you hear me? I said I love you.”
“Yeah yeah. You always tell me you love me.” He said in disbelief.
“No no no. I love you. This time, I’m for sure that I love you not as my best friend. But I love you more than that. I was hell confused. I told you the wrong answer that moment when you asked me if I loved you.”
GoodLordGod, I am shaking. He was quiet again. He was just staring at me with sad eyes.
“Ha… ha… W-Why only now Hae? I’m already in the middle of moving on. Why only now? I hate you.”
“What?” I don’t understand.
“I’ve loved you all this time Donghae! And now I am ready to forget you, then you came all of a sudden telling me this!” Tears fell down from his beautiful eyes.
“What? I did not know Hyukie. Why did you not even tell me? I didn’t know anything!”
I pulled him closer to me, wrapping my arms around his waist as he continued to cry.
“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for being so frigid.” I hugged him tighter, lifted his face and slowly pressed my lips with his.
“Hae… I love you. I was going nuts you know! It’s your entire fault why I was always spacing out.” He started blaming me.
“That’s why your not talking to me? Is that it?”
“Yes. And all this time I thought you liked Kibum and not me. I’m crazy aren’t I?”
“Really crazy. No, I was just making him as an excuse because I was too embarrassed to tell you. Let’s be honest from now on, kay? I love you.”
Finally, a moment of bliss. I was able to breathe smoothly now. We entered his room and drifted with the night. We’re going to be like this, forever lovers. Forever.
*Aaaah, I guess this will be the last chapter. >.< Yeah, I know I rushed it. :| I am terribly sorry if it took me so long to update. D: I'm busy packing my things because we're moving out. And, I'm currently working on my EunHae fanmix, so please watch out for it. ^^