Christmas Rage
And so another year has passed, and the holiday season is once more upon us. God, how I hate it. It's a descent into a festively decorated hell. The mall where I work has had the same awful decorations since about 1976 - the same tacky red and gold banners, the same woebegone strings of lights, the same balls that look like they were attacked by a cat. And always in the background the same three dozen songs played over and over and over again. There really is only so many times you can hear 'A Charlie Brown Christmas' before you get sick of it. To make matters worse, some doofus at head office decided to send us musical stuffed animals. Press their little tummies and hear them play 'Jingle Bells'! Aren't they cute?! Not really. They're only supposed to play the first verse and the chorus of the song, but one of them keeps getting stuck, and just drones on and on and on, and I just can't take it and so find myself pummeling a small stuffed reindeer into silence. And the people get stupider as well. True Story: a woman wanders up to me and asks "Where are your paperbacks?" (I work in a bookstore) I say "Paperback what?" She looks at me like I'm stupid and says "Books". With a patience I don't actually feel, I say "We don't sort the books that way ma'am, they're divided into sections. What were you looking for?". "Oh, they're all just scattered all over the store. I'll just go to the section I want, then". Well, Jesus Christ on a Christmas tree, lady, why the hell didn't you do that in the first place?! Another True Story: woman's looking for a book. She remembers the title but not the author. I take her to said book. She asks how the books are arranged. I say "by author". She says (and this is a direct quote) "Well, that's stupid. What if you can't remember the author". I ask her how she would arrange the books. By title, she says. I point out to her that that would result in authors having their work scattered all throughout the section. She laughs, "Oh, I've never worked in a bookstore." Lady, I doubt you've worked a day in your life (it's a very tony part of town). And worst of all, these people, these useless people who couldn't find their asses with both hands and a map, look down on us because we work in retail.
Not that I'm bitter or anything.
Okay, that last bit was a little off topic. After all, that happens year round, not just at Christmas. It's just so much worse at this time of year. Everything just snowballs into one huge, angry mass, and the urge to smack someone is almost irresistible. I swear, the only thing keeping me sane is my collection of Johnny Depp movies. I think I'll go watch 'Sleepy Hollow'. Johnny and bloodletting, what more could a girl ask for?
Not that I'm bitter or anything.
Okay, that last bit was a little off topic. After all, that happens year round, not just at Christmas. It's just so much worse at this time of year. Everything just snowballs into one huge, angry mass, and the urge to smack someone is almost irresistible. I swear, the only thing keeping me sane is my collection of Johnny Depp movies. I think I'll go watch 'Sleepy Hollow'. Johnny and bloodletting, what more could a girl ask for?